Twilight: Invoke Me
by ima nut so what aka pussyninja
Summary: Just took Twilight and made it magically lesbionic. Dont own a thang, its all S. Meyers doing. Follows Twilight closely. Sidenote: Monsters cant feel, the chapter that was suppose to be after Claim got deleted cause im special, so I'll have to rewrite it
1. The Beginning

**A/N: Decided to go back and rectify my mistakes, smh, idk about you guys but its kinda impossible for me to get into story when there a bunch of mistakes. I've come a long way from when I first started writing so im gonna do my best to correct as much as possible and maybe add a bit more.**

** Beginning**

"Oh, Bella. I still dont understand why you're so adamant about leaving. Phil and I dont mind and you know that..." My mothers been pretty persistent about getting me to stay here, in phoenix with her and her new found love, Phil.

"Yes, mom. I know you guys dont mind but I just think its best for now. Phils going to be on the road training most of the time and you...well you're just a free spirit, so you'll be doing whatever it is that you do best..which is helping Phil..." I say, stuffing the last bit of clothing in my suitcase, and turning around to finally face my mother. Her arms are folded across her chest and theres a small pout making its way onto her face.

"Well jeeze. You make it sound like im madly in love with the guy." Renee replies sarcastically earning a a soft chuckle from me. "Its really not going to be the same without you, firefly." I smile at the nickname she gave me oh so many years ago and embrace her in a hug.

"It'll be fine, mom, you'll see. Besides, this is a new chapter in your life...and I want you to enjoy it to the fullest without worry about me..."

"Yes, but...trying to settle into a new school, during the middle of the semester will be hard. You sure you're up for that?"

"Mom," I begin, shaking my head but smiling at her attempt to get me to stay. "As much as I would love to stay under you're wing...I cant. The life of a roadie isnt the life for a seventeen year old girl, ya know." I wag my index finger at her in mock disapproval, to which she rolls her eyes and smiles in return. "But seriously, mom. I"ll be fine. You'll learn to love your freedom..."

"-Pshh. If by _me_ you mean _you_. Then yeah, you'll definitely be enjoying your freedom..." She laughs but its strangled; a good sign thats she on the verge of tears.

"Mommm," I whine, " you promised you werent gonna do this.."

"-I know, I know. im sorry, its just...you're my little girl...my only child. Its tough letting go...you'll find out when you have a child of your own..."

Theres a moment between us, where she looks me up and down, almost like shes seeing me for the first time, and she nods, blinking away any unshed tears.

"You're growing up so fast, firefly. When and how did _you_ become such a free spirit?"

"Guess I get that from you, now dont I?"

"I guess so." She sighs heavily and reluctantly lets go of me. "Phil's gonna drop you off at the airport. I cant see you go...but just call me when you're settled, yeah?"

Looking back now, I realize that this moment...this decision to let go and move forward is known as the catalysts; its the foundation for what's to come. Its the one choice that shaped my future and changed my life forever.

*T.I.M*

The plane touches down, after a 4 hour flight which mainly consisted of me staring out the window in deep thought; thoughts wrapped around the idea of living with Charlie, my dad.

Its a bit unsettling knowing that Im going to be living with a man I barely even spoke to over the last 10 years. I mean there were the holiday phone calls and occasional gift but other than that? Yeah, Charlie's a complete enigma to me. I dont fully understand it but things have always been awkward between all of us ever since mom split, taking me with her. But Ive already got it put in my head that im going to try to make this work...for everyone's sake.

I make my way through the terminal, awkwardly stumbling over my feet a few times, before im greeted with the sight of a nervous looking Charlie.

"Uh hey, Bells. You look...different..." He smiles nervously.

"Y-Yeah, D..Charlie. I am alot older than the last time you saw me..." _Which was what? Ten years ago? _I ignore the urge to utter these words and flash my own little nervous smile.

"Right. Well uh...lets say we get you home, eh kiddo?" He makes his way towards the car, a police cruiser, and I silently wonder how I could of missed the uniform he's wearing; one entitled to Chief Swan. How could I have forgotten that?

The ride home is filled in eerie silence, with the occasional attempt to make idle conversation; him asking how the plane ride home was and me, mumbling an "It was as expected...boring." Charlie is Charlie I guess. Like I said before, we never really were that close, so when the house finally comes into view, I dont waste anytime getting out of here.

After struggling with my bags, I finally manage to make it into the house with Charlie's help. The first thing I notice is the smell; a mixture of pine, cigarettes and what I assume is his cologne. Its not a bad smell, just something I'll have to get used to.

The second thing I notice is the lack in decor. Dont get me wrong, Im not at all into the whole "Home improvement" or whatever you want to call it, but this place could use a womens touch; it has bachelor pad written all over it.

"So yeah. You uh...remember where you're room is right?"

"Yeah. Up the stairs and to the right..."

I make my way to my room, bags in hand and unsurprisingly, when I walk in I notice nothing in my room has changed either. Theres still the stuffed animals aligning my window seal, poorly drawn unicorns and rainbows covering the wall, and a small afghan given to me by my late grandmother.

I smile in remembrance of the day gran knitted it for me. I was seven at the time I believe.

"You getting all settled in, Kiddo?" Charlie says, peeking through the door and breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Um yeah. Just...taking it all in first..I guess..."

"Hey, listen. I know this is big step and its a bit overwhelming at the moment but...it'll get easier and uh...im here for ya.." He scratches the back of his neck before continuing. "I've got alot of making up to do...and I just want to say that...Im glad you're here with me, Bells..."

"Thanks, Charlie. It will take a bit of getting use to but...Im glad Im here too.." He smiles sincerely at my admission and embraces me in an awkward hug.

"Right, well...I got to get going. Second shift duty and whatnot. Make yourself at home. Towels and rags are in the closet next to the bathroom. Oh, and I left you some money on the kitchen counter for take out...havent really needed to go shopping since it was jus me." He blushes at this, and its then that I realize where I get my shy/awkwardness from. "My numbers on the fridge if you need anything.."

"Okay, Charlie. Im just going to unpack and get situated for now. But I'll see you later I guess?"

"Yeah, I'll see you later, Bells." He kisses my forehead and approaches the door. He's halfway through when my voice stop him.

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"I love you...and be safe okay?"

"Always am..and I love you too, kiddo."

Charlie leaves soon after, and I begin the daunting task of unpacking. I email Renee, telling her I made it here safely and chatting a bit before showering; its imperative that I do this before because I know that once im in and out of the shower, im gonna be knocked out.

I settle into bed around 11:00, an hour before Charlie's due back, and just let my thoughts wonder until sleep takes over.

**Dream...**

Its dark, which means that its night time wherever I am; Im surrounded by thick woods. I inhale the crisp air, and im immediately engulfed by two scents. One is that of summer rain or spring with a hint of lavender. The other one reminds me of the finest extract of vanilla and cinnamon.

The scents enrapture me and I find myself seeking more...needing more. I push forward, feeling the cool damp soil underneath my feet as I let my nose guide me.

Figures, there are two figures ahead in the distance. I blink once, which is a mistake because they vanish. My eyes close for a second time and I cant help the involuntary gasp that erupts from my throat when I reopen them; they're right in front of me now.

Im in awe, and all I can do is stare at their inhuman perfection.

The one on the left, the male, has ridiculously reddish, unruly hair. He's medium built, and short in comparison to his female counterpart. Two things that catch my attention is his strong facial features, one being his eyebrows and the other being an all knowing smirk. The female is a bit taller, has platinum blonde hair thats pulled into a ponytail; her lips are full, pulled into her own little smirk and her body? Man, she has curves for days, not an ounce of fat on her. Shes like the human version of Aphrodite herself; only one word could describe this creature...gorgeous. Its shocking really, because I've never even taken a second glance at another women before now, but theres no denying the attraction.

Standing here, looking me straight in the eye, they hold their hand out for me to take; I hesitantly take each one and gasp at how cold they feel.

_"Bella..."_ Slowly I inhale at the sound of her voice.

This one word lit a fire inside of me that seem to spread everywhere in my body. I want, no, I need to hear it again; then the male spoke.

_"Bella.."_

The fire instantly turns into liquid heat and as soon as their lips are about to ghost across my hand, my body jerks making me awaken from dream; Im im sweaty and aching in all the wrong places.

"Seriously! The best dream I've ever had, and cant even finish it! Ugh, theres no way people like that exist..." I turn towards my alarm clock, grumbling and wiping the sweaty hair away from my face, and notice its about five forty-five a.m. I let out a tired groan, shift out of bed and head straight towards the bathroom since I know I have to be up and ready by six-thirty.

_"Definitely gonna need a cold shower after that one..."_


	2. Dont Waste Your Time

A quick breakfast; nothing special, just toast and then Im out the door. Or at least thats my intention but as I approach the screen door, I spot Charlie and he's accompanied by two other people.

One is in a wheel chair and the other, the younger one, looks about my age with extremely long hair. I can tell that their probably from the reservations, due to the younger ones height and both of their tan-ish skin. They look oddly familiar but I cant quite place a name to their faces.

"Hey, Bells! Come out here for a sec..." I do as im told and Im immediately met with a beaming smile from my young guest.

"Bella, this is Billy and his son Jacob Black..." I shake hands with Billy first and then Jacob.

"Hello, Bella. I dont know If you remember me..."

"-No, no, no. You're Jake...like big head Jake. The one I use to play with over at the Reservation right?" He laughs, showing his straight and very white teeth, then envelopes me into a hug.

"Yeah, been a long time. Didnt think you'd remember me..."

"-Pssh, I could never forget a head this big. I see you finally got some meat on your bones. Bout time...cocky much?"

"Yeah, yeah. Cant really say the same for you though. You're still skinny as ever, not to mention pale. You'd think all that Arizona sun would do you justice, but neh..." He ruffle my hair with that cheeky grin ever present.

"Oh hardy-har, that real funny, Jake..."

"So I've been told." We fall into comfortable conversation, joking and catching up when Charlie suddenly gets a page.

"Yeah. I'll be there in a bit. Okay, bye. Hey bells, I got a call...gotta go into the station. Must be those damn wild animals again.."

"Wild animal?"

"Yeah, been getting a few complaints...killings, hikers going missing on the mountain trail. So ima head in soon. Oh, I almost forgot..." He steps near a truck, an old red Chevy and runs his hand along its rusty frame. "Here ya go. Billy and Jake came by to drop it off. "

"S..seriously?"

"Yeah, its all yours. Its not much but it'll get you where you need to go.."

"Oh..oh my gosh, dad...I..I love it. Its great, thanks so much!"

"You're Welcome, kiddo." He embraces me into a hug, to which I happily return."

"Oh, hey wait," Jake says, tugging me towards the front; I take my place in the drivers seat and he soon follows, settling into the passengers seat. " Here, let me show you how to start it...gotta pop the clutch a few time..."

"So, will I being seeing you at school too?"

"Mmm, nah. Unfortunately, I go to school on the Reservation..."

"Oh, that sucks. Would of been nice to at least know one person. But its cool, we should hand out sometime..."

"Yeah, definitely."

"Hey, Bells? Im headed off, I'll see ya later."

"Umm, okay! Be safe.."

"I should probably be headed out too, right dad?"

"Yeah, dont want either of you to be late for schools. We'll see you later, Bella."

"Okay, bye...and thanks again."

*T.I.M.*

As I approach Forks High, it actually dawns on me that Im the new kid, and im hit with a slight case of anxiety.

_"Breathe, Bella. Its just school.."_ My truck comes to a loud stop in a vacant spot, and I already know all eyes are on me. Just as expected, when I step out of the drivers seat, it seems as if the entire school is looking back at me.

"Nice car.." Some random boy states, smiling and earning a few laughs at his "inside joke." I ignore the sarcasm in his voice, mumble a thanks and make my way towards the building.

Im awkwardly walking around this huge building, or rather campus, trying to figure out where in blue blazes im suppose to go. Im so disoriented and confused that I dont even see the person thats in front of me until I actually pump into them.

"Crap. Im so sorry. Im sucha klutz...never watch where im going..."

"Nah, its cool. Oh hey! Your the new girl, right? Isabella Swan..."

"Its Bella. And yeah...im new."

"Cool. Well im Eric by the way. You're lucky you got here in time for the new semester. Total disaster trying to make that up. Sooo You get your schedule yet?"

"Thats uh...actually where I was headed now. Cant seem to find my way though..."

"Oh hey, no worries. I am the eyes and ears of this school," he lazily throws his arm around my neck, making me tense at first but later relax." Come, I'll give you the grand tour..."

We make our way around the school, with him, idly talking about his click of friends and recent school activities, and me, doing my best to pay attention.

The last stop we make is to the main office, where I've just picked up my schedule and it turns out that I have a few classes with him.

My first period, entrepreneurship, goes by pretty quick, which is a relief because its boring; the only good thing was that I got to meet Angela. She's one of Eric's friends, though they seem a bit more closer from what I could tell since they were constantly chatting/flirting in class.

Second period, gym, is where I awkwardly meet Mike and Jessica. They both seem nice in their own way, though Jessica seems a bit too clingy to Mike, who is so oblivious to the fact that Jessica is pining after em.

Math seems a bit remedial and overwhelmingly boring. I have Tyler, another one of Erics friends and the same kid I saw earlier in the parking lot to keep me company.

As I walk to my next class, lunch, I cant help but get this eerie feeling, like im being watched or like something coming. I figure it has something to do with big crowds so I pay it no mind. I stand in line, idly chatting with Angela about Phoenix and her part in the year book committee. Im welcomed at Erics table, and of course, im forced to talk about myself, since im "the shiny new toy," as Jessica puts it anyway. Im listening to Mike go on about La push, when I get this involuntary shiver down my spine. I dont know what forces me to look back, but as I do, I can just feel the air slowly leaving me. There, coming through the back door of the Cafeteria are three of the most beautiful creatures I have ever seen.

"The Cullens.." I hear Jessica say.

"Huh, what?"

"The Cullens. The ones you're so obviously ogling are the Cullens. Well three of them are anyway..."

My skin burns at being caught, but I ignore my discomfort and continue listening.

"The two holding hands are Jasper and Alice.."

Alice is small in frame, petite, and kind of reminds me of a cat or maybe a ballerina on account of how graceful her movements seem. Shes pale and her hair is in a strange disarray.

Jaspers features seem a bit tight, almost as if he's in pain; he just seems rigid or on edge. He's also pale, with dirty blond curly hair, and it would seem as though he and Alice had a _certain_ connection.

"The big teddy-bear with the dimples is Emmett. I've spoken with him in class a few time. Funny but weird."

Emmett's massive compared to the others, and he indeed remind me of a bear. He's tall, cocky, has brown curly hair, and of course is pale like the others.

Just as im about to turn my attention back to my food, assuming Emmett was the last, two more people come in and my mouth falls open; I immediately recognize them from my dream.

_"Thats impossible...they're..no it cant be.."_

"I...I know them," I mutter more to myself, earning a few strange looks from everyone at the table. "I mean...I've just seen them...in a dream..."

"Oh trust me, you aint the only one..." Eww okay, thats a little too much info, Jessica.

"Ah, the beautiful Edward Cullen and mighty Rosalie Hale..."

"Wait, Hale? I thought they were the Cullens..."

"No, only three of them are Cullens. Jasper and Rosalie are Hales. They're related. Well I guess you can say they're all related since they're all adopted by Dr. Cullen..."

I tune the rest out because im just too mesmerized by the fact that they're actually here. Its not to difficult to make out who is who, since its so very obvious.

They're both the same as I remember, completely and utterly breath taking. Rosalie is sporting white leggings that hug her frame perfectly, black boots which are accompanied with thin six inch heels, and a grey sweater type blouse with a thick black belt going across the midsection. All in all she looks like she stepped off a runway, especially with her blonde hair framing her face like a curtain.

Edward is a bit more casual with his style. A simple grey t-shirt with fitted jeans, and that same unruly hair.

"As you can see. They're all gorgeous but extremely weird. Alice and Jasper are together...like together, together and they all live under the same roof! Its freakin weird!"

"Oh come on, Jess. They're not even related for real..."

"But still...its weird."

I faintly hear Angela and Jessica bicker back and forth as I stare unabashedly at the Cullen/Hale table.

"Bella!"

"Hmm, yeah?" I reply, finally turning my attention back to Jessica.

"Seriously, Bella. Dont waste your time...no one here is good enough for them..." She turns her nose up in obvious distaste, which leaves me with wondering if something happened to actually make her feel this way.

"Oh, I wasn't planning on." I turn back towards the dwellers of my dreams and made the mistake of saying their names.

"Rosalie and Edward, hmm?" And as if they heard me, they look up and stare me straight in the eyes. Its startles me at first but i cant look away for reason.

They have this look on their faces, almost as if their concentrating really hard on something. I find it a too overwhelming, so I blush and as I do, I notice the whole table goes rigid. I quickly turn away but not before I see Rosalie and Edward exchanging words I cant make out.

The bell rings and I chance another glance in their direction and notice they're already gone.


	3. Hello

Eric and Mike walk with me towards our next class, Biology, where I come in and immediately hand my schedule to the teacher.

"Ahh, miss Swan. So nice of you to join us. Why dont you have a seatttt," he scans the room for any vacancy. "There, next to Mr. Cullen..."

_"Mr. Cullen?"_

I look towards where his hand is pointing and im met with confused, black eyes. The fan blows, sending my hair waffling in all directions, making him stiffen and hold his nose in a very un-subtle way.

_"What the heck? I know Im not smelly...or am I?"_ I take my seat near the strange boy and do a very subtle smell check.

_"Nothing. I smell like me. So what the heck is this kids problem?"_

Class drawls onward slowly, and its becoming harder and harder to ignore his creepy stares. I stole a few glances myself, catching his eyes on occasion, and noticing just how black they really are.

_"Okay, this guy is really creeping me out."_

I take another glance and see that his jaw is tight, while his left hand is fisting through his already messy hair; he's constantly breathing heavily and clenching his right fist. Theres a strange noise emanating from him, kind of like a growl or hiss that makes me look at him confusedly. He glares at me full force, nostrils flaring, and I cant help but blush.

Just then he tenses even more, before I hear the sound of his pen snapping. And trust me, Its not one of those cheap plastic pens, its metal.

"_Okayyyy. I had enough, its time to find out what the heck this guys problem is."_ I turn towards him, fully intent on voicing my thoughts, but before I can, he's up and out of the room in a matter of second; the bell rings not a minute later, leaving me awkwardly stunned.

_"What. The. Hell?"_

Im headed towards the office to ask about my schedule and see about my transcripts, and who just so happens to be there? Edward flipping Cullen thats who!

"There has to be another class available for me to...," he stops mid-sentence, inhales sharply and looks me straight in the eye. "Nevermind. Guess I'll have to endure..." He pushes past me in a hurry and runs down the hallway.

_"Rude much?"_

*T.I.M*

I quietly walk towards my next class, English and its then that I realize just how twisted fate can be. Rosalie freaking Hale is sitting a few rows down, idly checking her nails.

_"Freak my life."_

Luckily I dont have to sit next to her, or at least I thought.

"Okay class, I want to try something different this semester. Im going to break you up in groups of four. Whoever is in your group will remain for the rest of the year. So please do get properly acquainted.

I swear fate really has it in for me today. I end up right smack dead across from Rosalie; yeah, shes in my group.

_"Welp, at least Angela's here with me. And I only have to deal with her glares from across the table."_

We introduce ourselves and being the shy idiotic one, end up blushing the whole time; that definitely got my attention. Her eyebrows furrow, making a deep crease cross her forehead as she glares daggers at me. Like Edward, her nostrils flare and strange sound erupts from her chest.

_"What the eff is wrong with these people!"_

I decide its just better to try to ignore her and her crazy sibling for the remainder of the day and possibly for the whole school year.

The day comes to a close after two more grueling hours, and lets just say that I was doing my little happy dance in my head.

"Remember, La push, very soon, Bella. You'll love it, I promise.." Eric says, walking me to my trunk with Mike a few feet behind him; they each embrace me and I return the hug happily. As Im pulling back from Mike, I notice Rosalie and Edward across the lot, glaring as usual with their jaws taunt.

They seem to be silently exchanging heated words, but I could care less. I just shrug it off, climb into my truck and drive off.

*T.I.M*

I spend the rest of the day doing homework, emailing Renee and catching up on my book: _The Devils Arithmetic._ **(Yes, that is one of my favorite books:))**

Sleep soon consumes me, and im hit with the same dream I had the previous night, only this time, im awoken by the feeling of a presence in my room. My eyes focus lazily on something near the foot of my bed, I blink and squint a couple of times before moving to turn on my bed lamp. I flick it, and focus in on the foot of my bed, but nothings there.

_"You're losing your freaking mind, Bella Swan."_ I shake my head, and flop back down on my pillow. Something near the window get my attention this time; I turn towards it and notice the curtains flailing from a breeze.

_"Strange, I could of sworn I closed that..."_

I look towards the alarm clock and groan.

_"Five-fifty, theres no way im going back to sleep."_

*T.I.M*

"They're not here..."

"What?"

"The Cullens and the Hales, they're not here. Thats who you're looking for right?" I have been looking out for them all day; parking lot, hallways, biology...all a no show.

"I guess," I mumble to myself, trying to hold back my blush.

"Yeah, Dr. Cullen always takes them camping whenever its sunny. I tried that with my parents once, but they weren't having any of that."

Well that explains the one day but they weren't there for next couple of days and it wasn't sunny the WHOLE week.

Thursday comes around and I follow my usual routine; breaking my neck in the parking lot, hallways and lunch, trying to see if they showed, but still nothing.

I walk into the my English class, and my heart thuds against my chest; sitting in her seat is Rosalie Hale with a shit-faced smirk tugging at her lips.

Im mad, livid really, and I've never wanted to slap somebody more than I do right now. I take my seat next to Angela and decide that its best to just ignore the goddess across from me.

"Hello, Bella." She says in this velvety voice that instantly makes me forget why im so angry. "Its nice to see you again. Im Rosalie..." She smiles brightly, and I cant help noticing that one of her cheeks has a dimple. _"Thats cute. Wait, what!"_

"Umm, y-yeah. I uh...I know who you are." I say nervously, biting the inside of my cheek as she seems to ponder something.

"Right," she says with a sly smirk. "Well, I wanted to apologize for the way my brother and I were acting. We weren't really...feeling good and it was very rude of us to..."

"-Edward. He..he wasn't in Biology today..."

"Um yeah. He's still a bit sick so he's been in the nurses office. He ask me to get any notes he may have missed..."

" Oh, um yeah. But, you guys weren't in lunch either though." She lifts an eyebrow questionably with that smirk ever present.

"Were you...looking for me Bella?"

"N-no! I-I..mean yes! I was but not like..." Im a stuttering, blushing fool right now.

"Bella," She finally says, chuckling and getting my attention. I blush yet again, and notice how her eyes seem to dilate; she visibly gulps lick her lips before continuing. "Calm down, Bella. Im just joking. As for me not being at lunch, well, maybe I just wanted to surprise you..."

Complete silence.

"Sooo...how are you liking the weather..."

"You're...you're asking me about the weather?" Seriously out of all things, the weather! She eyes me strangely with those golden honey eyes.

"Well yeah. Is that...okay?"

"Y-yeah, its just," I glance at her eyes again and literally get lost, in thought that is.

"You okay?"

"Y-Yeah, sorry. Um the weather? Umm I dont know...I dont really do so well with cold and wet. Anything cold I just dont...like." She shakes her head and chuckles to herself.

"What? What's so funny?"

"Nothing, its just...its kind of a inside joke type of thing."

"-And I wouldn't understand.." She notices the slight sarcasm laced in my voice.

"No, thats not what I meant. Its just..well I... you wouldn't really get it unless I...," I raise my eyebrow at her questionably, making her reel back. "Crap! wait, what I mean is..."

"-You should see the look on your face right now." I burst into fits a giggles, but stop as soon as I snort. Her and Angela are now staring at me with an amused expression.

"Wow, did you really just snort?"

"Stopppp," I whine, making her giggle and shake her head. "Ugh, dont make fun of me...its so embarrassing."

She takes a few deep breaths I notice, then flashes me a smile before continuing. "Its really not. I think its cute..." As soon as the words leave her mouth, she scrunches her face up in confusion, and if its possible, my face reddens even more.

Theres an uncomfortable silence between us, where we just kind of act like she didnt just say that. Angela is doing her best to look normal and act as if shes not listening to our conservation, but I know better; after a while she just opts for putting in her ear plugs and jamming to the tunes on her Ipod.

"So um, if you dont really like cold or wet, why'd you move to one of the wettest places in the U.S?" Her eyes become more curious at this question, and Im just left mesmerized by everything about her; her eyes her voice, her face...just her in general. Im faintly aware of the sheet shes handing me, something we're suppose to be doing for class work, and do my best to answer her without stuttering.

"Well, my moms always been sort of a free spirit I guess you can say. So I dont know...she just got remarried a year ago to a Minor leaguer named Phil..." Im idly scribbling on my paper as we continue to talk, and Im genuinely surprised when I notice shes done writing.

"You're done?" I ask, placing my own paper to the side and glancing at hers; I notice that everyone is still working.

"Thats fast. Took about what, five minutes?"

"Well, lets just say Im really good when it comes to English. All my classes are A.P..."

"This is A.P? It seems a bit..."

Remedial? Yeah, that because its the beginning of the semester...it might get harder for you later on." She smiles triumphantly at her hidden meaning.

"For me? And what's that suppose to mean exactly?" My tone is firm but the smile on my face tells her that im joking.

"Nothing at all," she smirks as her shoulders shrug. "Just talking..."

"Yeah, mhmm. You mind If I check?"

"Sure, if you want. Buttt theres really no need.." She hands me her paper and smiles as I scan each line. I bite the inside of my cheek, and blush when I realize shes still watching me, knowing that I have yet to find any mistake. I glance at her hesitantly and hand her the paper; Her eyes catch mine in that moment, and I just about die inside when the corner of lip curls upward.

I dont say anything because Im too embarrassed by the fact that she proved me wrong.

"Like I was saying. Theres really no need...Im good at English." Before we know it the bells ringing and shes walking with down to my locker.

"So, back to you and your mom. The guy she married.."

"-Phil?"

"Yeah, do you not like him much or...?"

" No, Phils nice enough. He makes her happy so Im happy.."

"So, why did you move then?" I scratch my head at that question, because theres really so many reasons why I left.

"Look Im sorry if I being a bit too nosy, its just...Im trying to figure you out. You're very hard to read..." She leans in slightly, giving me a very up close look into her golden eyes.

"Well, I um...I guess the main reason is because I felt like she needed her space...ya know since she has Phil and all. I just want her to be able to enjoy her life more. That...and they're just always on the road..."

She tilts her head to side, leans back and nods her head in agreement.

"Hey um...did you get contacts?"

"No, uh...why do you ask?"

"Its just...your eyes..they were like pitch black the other day and now...their like golden, like the sun..."

She immediately shuts her eyes after I say this and pinches the bridge of her nose. "Uh, no its the lights...florescent..." She opens them again and I notice the slight tint around the iris. _"Weird"_

"Um listen. I gotta...I gotta go..I'll see you later, Bella..." Im about to protest but before I can, she already halfway down the hallway.

*T.I.M*

Im leaning against my truck, listening to music and stuffing my books into my bag, when my eyes catch sight of Rosalie and...Edward. Shes leaning against her candy apple BMW, staring at me fiercely while Edward seems to be barking in her ear. She turns her attention towards Edwards nagging and I take the opportunity to fish through my bag for my keys.

"Gotcha," I throw them up and attempt to catch them a second later but fail miserably. I pick them up off the ground and as I straighten up, my eyes connect with a near by student; shes jumping around and pointing frantically at something behind me.

I turn to see what all the commotion is about and Immediately feel my lungs collapse; Tylers van is swerving right at me. Im so shocked that my body just shuts down, its like im suffering from paralysis. Theres nothing I can do now, but close my eyes and just wait for the pain. But it doesnt come. Theres a loud screeching sound followed by metal scrunching and the feeling of something around my waist, but still no pain.

I open my eyes in I met by the sun; Rosalie Hale is standing between myself and the van, one arm securely wrapped around my midsection while the other forces Tylers van to a stop. I blink a couple of times, trying to process what Just happen and the weird look shes giving me tells me that shes doing the same.

"R..Rosalie..how...how did you..." I dont get to finish because she already detangling herself from around me, a bit too fast might I add, because her quick movements causes me to bump my head against the side of my truck; she stands up abruptly and takes off to god knows where.

I stare at the side of the van, where her hand is imbedded before darkness consumes me.


	4. Just A Story

I faintly hear Charlie barking at Tyler as I come to; I realize that im at the hospital with a steady throb on the back of my head.

"Dad, its fine. Theres no need for you to keep yelling..."

"No, Bells, its not 'fine'...u could've been killed!"

"But I wasnt so..."

"-Ah, Miss Swan...lets have a look shall we?" I look at the man in front of me, and I feel like Im seeing double; he looks an awful lot like Edward. "_Must be their father..."_

He flashes a light across my face, telling me to follow it, and then proceeds to examine my head.

"Well, luckily its nothing major. You seem to be suffering from post traumatic stress and you've got a pretty big lump on the back of your head. I recommend lots of rest and I'll fill you out a prescription for any headaches..."

"Ya know, its pretty amazing that I only managed to get a bump on my head," he looks up from his chart as I continue. "Guess I should thank your daughter for that though. Shes super fast...totally just pushed me out the way..." I watch his face carefully, paying attention to any sudden changes.

"Well that sounds like Rose," he smiles at at me before jotting something down in his notes. _"Really? So this is how they want to play?"_ "The swelling should subside in a few days, but if not, I want you to contact me."

Grabbing my prescription, I proceed with my check out, and as soon as I round the corner I spot Rosalie, Edward and Dr. Cullen chatting. _"Hmm, this is interesting.."_ They seem to sense my presence and immediately look in my direction.

"You mind if I talk to you for a sec?" My words are intended for Rosalie, and she knows this too, but of course she chooses to ignore me; they all exchange words before Edward makes his way over to me. His face is neutral, but his eyes give away how nervous he is.

"What...where's Rosalie going? I need to talk to her..." He eyes me intently and then sighs in what seems to be frustration. "Look, Bella. I think its best that you go home and rest...you hit your head pretty hard.."

"Im not leaving until I talk to Rosalie! I need to know how...how she got to me so fast when she was standing right next to you from across the lot..."

"Bella," he chuckles and shakes his head. "She was standing right next to you the whole time..."

"-Bull-crap! I know what I saw, Edward.."

"-Oh? And what's that?" He asks, folding his arms and sending a glare my way.

"She...she pushed the van away...with..with her hands. I saw her..."

He licks his lips and shakes his head in disbelief. "Yeah, well...no one will believe you. You should just forget what you _think_ you saw, Bella..."

"I...I wasn't gonna tell anyone. I just...need to know..."

"Cant you just be grateful?"

"I am! I very grateful and I would love to thank her but..."

"-You're not gonna let this go are you?"

"No"

"Yeah, well I hope you like disappointment.." And just like that he's gone, leaving me standing there with a look of bewilderment. _"Did he really just do that...end this conversation?"_

_*_T.I.M*

Im laying in bed and all I can think about is Rosalie. How did she do it? She was across the lot the whole time, I know she was. So how? How did she get to me so fast, push the van out of the way without a scratch, and just pretend like it didnt happen?

I need answers and tomorrow I plan on getting them.

Sleep doesnt come easy, so im not too surprised when five-fifty quickly rolls by. I do my quick routine then im head off to school rather eagerly.

I spot the Cullens/Hales in their usual spot; Edward and Rosalie's stares dont go unnoticed, but I choose to ignore them...for now. A took a glance and notice the amused looks on Jasper, Alice, and Emmett's face. _"What the hecks so funny!"_ My classes breeze by quickly, and im grateful because all I can do is think about lunch. Its the perfect time to confront both of them; unfortunately I soon find out that lunch has been rescheduled today on account of an assembly. A guest speaker came in to talk about sex, drugs, and alcohol, which was a bit weird and kind of boring. Would rather have been eating lunch, but what can you do?

Im a little nervous but also excited when I walk into Biology. I take my usual seat next to Edward, who is currently looking a bit jumbled, take out my books and patiently wait for class to start. I want to ask him now, but I also want to see if he'll mention something first so I wait.

He huffs, running his hands through his messy hair and opens/closes his mouth a few time before actually speaking.

"Listen, Bella. I dont think its a good idea for us to be friends..."

I dont believe this guy! Who the heck said we were friends? What could possibly make him assume such a thing, especially since we dont even speak?

"Really, Edward? You're getting a little beside yourself dont you think? Us friends? You dont even say hi to me..." He seems a bit taken aback by my little rant.

"Hello, Bella..." Is he serious right now?

"Ugh, you know what? I dont have time for your little games so if you dont plan on giving me any answers, then dont bother talking to me...ever!"

"Bella, its complicated..."

"Yeah, whatever Edward."

I do my best to ignore Edward and his piercing gaze; one that held hurt, confusion and god knows what else. I hate myself at this moment, because I dont like hurting people, and as much as I dislike Edward right now, part of me wants him even more.

English comes by rather quickly, and I find myself rather determined and really excited to see Rosalie. I spot her as soon as I come through the door; she looking out the window, but as if she senses me, she turns in my direction and immediately stiffens. _"Yes, be afraid. Be very afraid."_

I take the seat across from her, take my books out and then stare her straight in the eyes; she glares right back, but im not backing down. I guess she figures as much because she just sighs and turns her attention to the window again. I use this moment to let my eyes roam over her attire. She wearing a black halter top, red skinny jeans which I notice from earlier in the parking lot, and I assume shes wearing heels as well. She looks rather delicious if I must say so myself. I mean Edwards hot but Rosalie is wayyyy hotter. Did I really just say that?

My eyes drift to her oh-so plump lips, and I find myself unconsciously licking my own, wishing I could do the same to hers. Just thinking about her lips on every inch of me, makes me very uncomfortable in my panties. Just then, she looks straight at me with this confused look, nostrils flaring and all; she leans back while closing her eyes, inhales deeply and then reopens them with a smug grin. The other thing that really catches my attention is how diluted her eyes have become.

I blush as I realize her grin hadn't faltered and im wondering if she knows what im thinking. _"I mean theres no way she could know right? Its...its impossible!"_

I try to play it off by sending her my own little glare, but it only seems to spur her on more; if its possible, it looks as if her grin has gotten bigger.

After about thirty minutes in class, I finally work up the nerve to confront her. I switch seats with Angela, who's too busy reading a book to actually know what's going on in class, and stare at the side of Rosalie face. She gets the hint and hesitantly turns her attention towards me.

"So, mind telling me what the heck that was yesterday?" I whisper, leaning in a bit so no one else will hear us.

"Adrenaline rush. Google it..." Is her nonchalant reply. It angers me at how calm she being.

"Bull-crap!" Im not stupid..I want the truth..now!" She leans in until our faces are only inches apart, and I of course blush at the realization which makes her stiffen yet again. She closes her eyes, inhales a few times and then leans back.

"Oh really?" She begins, finally opening her eyes and raises a eyebrow at me questionably. "Bella, I really dont think you're in any position to make demands. Besides, I cant give you answers that arent mine to give..."

I stare at her in confusion. "What..what does that even mean!"

"It means, if you were smart...you'd forget about what happened..."

That does it. Who the heck does she think she is? How dare she try to tell me what to do? I slam my fist down, which seems to get everyone's attention.

"Look, im so tired of you and your brother trying to tell _me_ what's good for me! What give you the right to..." I dont even get to finish because the bell rings and shes already up and out the door.

As I come into the cafeteria, I come to the realization that I may never get my answers so why bother? I set my books down at my table, and wait for the lunch line to get shorter. I ignore the stares coming from _that_ table and join Angela in line.

Im organizing some food on my tray when I familiar voice rings into my ear. It startles me to the point where I nearly knock over my food; the only thing I dont manage to safe is my apple, which is currently falling to the ground as we speak, but with some quick reflexes my intruder catches it with ease.

"Edible Art?" She flashes me an awkward smile before handing me my apple.

"What do you want Rosalie? According to Edward, we shouldn't be friends...not like you want to be anyways.."

"Bella," she begins with a frown. "Its not that we dont want to be your friend. Its just...best that we dont. We're not...good for you..."

I sigh at her words. "I swear your mood swings are giving me whiplash. And what does that even mean? I mean it like first, you tell me we shouldn't be friends but yet you're here...talking with me right now. What's the deal?"

"Its just...complicated. I feel like...I need to be here..near you." She shakes her head and nibbles at her bottom lip. "I dont know...its just confusing.."

I watch her curiously for a moment before nodding my head in agreement. "Are you...ever gonna tell me what happened?"

"You're a very...persistent girl, ya know?" She chuckles. "Id rather hear your theories though..."

"My theories?"

"Yeah, im pretty sure you've come up with some type of explanation..."

"Well, I dont know. I've considered super powers, radioactive spiders...all types of crazy things."

"Thats um...super hero stuff, right? What if...im not the hero? What if...im the bad guy?"

"You're not. I see what you trying to do...keep me at a distance, but for what? You said so yourself, you want to be near me. And I...I want to be near you too." Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise at my admission. "We should...just hang out. You, me, Edward..."

"Hang out?"

"Yeah, a couple friends of mine are going down to the beach later on. You guys should come..."

"What beach?"

"Um, La Push..I think..." Instantly, any and all excitement has left her features; she looks deflated.

"Cant..."

"Why not?" She turns her head towards her table and lock eyes with Edward. It seems as if they're having some sort of conversation, but their mouths arent even moving, not to mention that he's all the way in the far corner of the Cafe. She purses her lips, turns her attention back towards me and places her hands in her back pockets.

"Its just...a little crowded. I'll see you around, Bella.

*T.I.M*

Crowded my butt! This beach is practically disserted, give or take a few people, including myself and my friends, but still.

Im sitting in Tylers van, listening and giving advice to Angela, when she suddenly ask me something unexpected.

"So, You've been hanging around the Cullens/Hales a lot lately. What's that all about?"

"I really dont know. I actually invited them to come but..."

"-Cullens dont come here." An unknown voice bellows. I look up to see Jacob, accompanied by two other boys.

"Oh hey, Jake!" I immediately get up and envelope him in a hug." You uh...stalking me now sasquatch?" He rolls his eyes as I pull back and gives me that cheeky grin.

"Yeah, right, Slim. You're on my land, Remember?"

We all settle into idly conversation, laughing, joking and just having a good time, but in the back of my mind his friends words kept nagging at me. I decide to take a walk with Jake, clearly intent on asking questions.

"So, uh what exactly did your friends me by 'the Cullens dont come here'...?"

"You caught that, huh?" He smiles and shakes his head. "There's this myth going around...saying that they arent what they appear to be..."

"So what are they then?" He ponders something for a moment and hesitantly continues. "Well, I mean im really not suppose to say..."

"Oh come on. I can keep a secret..."

"Alright, but really its just a scary story..."

" Well, I...I want to hear it."

"Okay, well its said that our tribe are descendants of wolves.."

"-Wait, like wolves, WOLVES?"

"Yeah, well according to my Elders, the Cullens are descendants of the 'cold ones'. My ancestors ran into Cullens a WHILE back..."

"I thought they just moved here?"

"Or...just moved back. They found them hunting on our land once, and they offered them a treaty. They stayed off our land, and in exchange we wouldn't expose their secret to the pale-faces..."

"Well, what do you mean by the cold ones. I mean, what are they exactly?"

"Bella," he laughs at my eagerness. "I really dont know. Its just a story remember?"

I let that information sink into, but no matter how many times he tells me its just a story, my mind just wont process it. Everything just adds up.

I just need a little more information.


	5. Google It

As soon as I get home, I head straight up to my room, turn on my laptop and google "The cold ones." Several images and information pertaining to bloodsuckers, succubus, immortal beings and super human abilities pop up.

I click on references and see that there is a nearby store holding a rather interesting book. I scribble the address down and place it in my bag before settling into bed. My mind immediately goes back to the parking lot incident.

_"I know what I saw, and one way or another Im going to prove that this isnt just a myth or story...their not human..."_

*T.I.M*

Its twelve-thirty or so when Jessica and Angela text me, asking if I'll accompany them to Port Angeles for dress shopping; I agree since the book store is around that area.

After about two hours of being their dress spectator, I decide to go off to the book store. I tell them I'll meet up for lunch in a little while and they humbly agree. Little do I know that im soon going to be regretting my decision to go it alone, because as soon as I come out of the book store, Im cornered in a parking lot by a bunch of drunk sleazy men.

I knee one of them in the balls as they grab at me, which royally pisses him off.

"Why you little bitch!" His hand raises in the air, but stops mid-air as he hears the sound of tires screeching; coming towards us is a very familiar looking silver Volvo.

It comes to a halt a few feet in front of us, and a very angry looking Edward rears his head from the driver seat.

"Bella, get in...now."

"Now hold on a minute," one of the drunkards slur as I shove past him. "Where do you think you're going sweetness...party just star-..." Edward cut him off with the fiercest glare I've ever seen. I think they get the point because they're soon fleeing the scene.

The silence in the car in so intense that im too scared to say anything.

"Edward how did you know where I was?"

"Its doesnt matter," his hands clench and unclench against the wheel as he glares at the road. "If...if you knew thr vile and disgusting things those creeps were thinking..."

"Wait, thinking?"

"I should go back and rip their freaking heads off!"

"Uh no, you shouldn't...just calm down, okay?"

"Just...just say something...keep my mind off of it..."

"Um, okay. You should probably put your seatbelt on. You're driving pretty fast..."

"-Seatbelt?" He says in a crazed voice, laughing and shaking his head. "You should put your seatbelt on.."

"_Okayyyy, somebody's losing their mind apparently"_

_"_Think im warm enough," I say reaching to turn down the heat; he reaches at the same time and our hands brush against each other.

"Your hands," I gasp, "they're freezing.."

"Uh yeah. Im anemic...low iron..." He mumbles and lets just say im not convinced. "Are you hungry? Theres a restaurant a few block from here.."

"Yeah, sure..."

We arrive at a local Italian restaurant, where Angela and Jessica just so happen to be leaving.

"Bella! Why didnt you call us or something. We were like worried..."

"Yeah, I know. Im sorry, I just got a bit..."

"-Sidetracked." Edward finishes with a smile. "Its my fault really. I ran into her earlier and I guess we forgot about the time..."

"Oh, no, no, its perfectly fine." I roll my eyes at how obvious she being; shes practically swooning over here. "We were just worried. But I can see shes in good hands..."

"Um we're going to get a quick bite, then I'll make sure she gets home safe...if you guys dont mind?"

"No, we dont mind at all, right Ang?"

"Definitely, we'll uh...see you later, Bella! Byeeee Edward."

"Night ladies," I cant help but shake my head at how awkward this is.

*T.I.M*

"You're not eating?" I ask, eying him curiously as he stares back at me with a look of concentration.

"Uh, no. Im uh...on a special diet..."

"You dont eat at school either.."

"No, because their food is disgusting...too much preservatives." He makes his point by scrunching up his nose; couldnt disagree there cause their food is rather nasty.

We make idle chatter while I eat my food; its hard trying to eat when someone's staring at you so intently. He sighs as I finish off the rest of my rigatoni, and mumbles something he thinks I didnt catch.

"What do you mean?"

"What?"

"You said, why cant I read you. And in the car you said, If I knew what they were thinking. Are you...physic or something?"

He leans forward a bit and shuffles his hands before sighing. "I..I can read minds. I can read everybody's thoughts in here except for yours. You are the exception, Bella..."

"Well, what's wrong with me?"

"Really?" He laughs, "I tell you that I can read minds and you think theres something wrong with _you_? You're a very strange but interesting girl Bella..."

"I...guess," I shrug my shoulders. "Is that why you're always staring at me so intently?"

"Part of it, yes. Its really quite frustrating really..."

"Well...Im glad you cant read my thoughts," I offer him a shy smile. "Its an invasion of privacy."

We talk for a while, just trying to get to know one another more, but then my dad calls.

"Bella, where are you?" I can hear the worry in his voice.

"Um, Im with...," I look towards Edward before replying. " A friend. What's going on?"

"Im at the station. Theres been...another killing, a close friend of mine. Listen, I dont feel safe with you out right now. I want you to head home, okay?"

"Yeah, dad...Im headed out right now. I'll call you when I get home.."

"Okay, and be careful, Bells."

"I will, dad. See you later."

"Parting so soon?" I hear Edward say as I hang of the phone."

"Yeah, my dads been kind of freaked out about the attacks lately..." He immediately stiffens at hearing this.

"Do...do they know what's attacking?"

"They think its some sort of wild animal. He sounded really upset...we should probably head out..."

*T.I.M*

"It was a pleasure spending time with you. Even though the circumstances could of been better..."

"Um, yeah...for me too. We'll have to do it again sometime...maybe?" I look at him expectantly, in which he smirks in return.

"Yeah, maybe..."

"And...maybe even Rosalie can join.." He frowns at this but quickly recovers.

"Perhaps. Well, I dont wanna keep you from anything, so I'll just be on my way..." He turns to leave but my voice stops him in his tracks.

"Edward, wait!" He turns again so that he's facing me now. "Are you...ever gonna tell about what happened at school?" And like so many other times, he sighs, runs his fingers through his hair and then chuckles.

"You just dont give up. You're a smart girl, Bella. So im sure you'll figure it out." He stops and seems to ponder something. "Perhaps you should look into one of those books you bought today?"

"How did you...are you..stalking me, Edward? I mean, how did you know where I was earlier?"

"Bella, I feel...very protective of you. So yes, I was following you."

"Oh. Well, im glad. If you weren't...I mean those creeps would of..." I trail off as I see the uncomfortable look on his face. "Just...thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome. I'll uh...see you tomorrow."

*T.I.M*

Im currently sitting in bed with my books in hand, scanning through every page. I dont how long I've been at it, but lets just say my eyes are killing me. I've gone through about three already and they all boil down to one point: vampires. Edward Cullen and his family are all vampires.

It all makes sense now. His cold hands, pale skin, not to mention the fact that none of them eat lunch; they're vampires, and tomorrow im going to confront him.


	6. Say It

I await in the parking as usual, determination etched across my features as my eyes study the cars and people around me; my eyes catch sight of a silver Volvo and I immediately perk up. Rosalie and the others have chosen to ride in her red Mercedes, which she parks rights next to Edwards car.

When Edward gets out, he and Rosalie immediately spot me from across the lot; They exchange what would seem to be heated words, since Edward is now tensing. Rosalie catches my gaze one last time before she and the others begin walking towards the school, leaving a very somber looking Edward behind.

I can feel his eyes on me as I brush past him and head straight towards the woods, silently telling him to follow.

I walk until I see a small clearing and when I feel his presence behind me.

"I know what you guys are. Your sister, shes incredibly fast...and strong." My mind begins to reply the whole parking lot scenario. "You dont eat...and your skin...its like ice..."

"Say it," I hear him say. "Out loud. I want to hear you say it, Bella..."

"Vampire..." I feel him step closer from behind.

"Are you afraid?"

I turn so that im now facing him, staring him straight in the eye. "No.."

"Ask me what we eat, Bella..."

"-You wont hurt me..."

"Ask me the most basic question!" He practically barks, but I dont flinch. "I could drain you right now, kill you..."

"-It doesnt matter. Im not afraid ...I know you wont hurt me, Edward." His face twists in what looks like anger or frustration even.

"Look at me, Bella! This is what lures you in. My looks, my smell...my voice. As if I would need any of that!" He flashes out of nowhere and appears on top of a hill.

"As if you can outrun me!" He bellows, vanishing again only to reappear right in front of me. "As if you could fight me off!" I watch as he takes a nearby tree and tosses it like its a rag doll. He then leans into me so that our faces are only inches apart.

"We're the worst type of predator there is, Bella." He says trying to convince me, or rather himself.

"I dont care," I lean in a bit more. "I trust you..."

"Dont!" He pulls back, disappearing and now leaning forward on a tree branch.

"I want...to kill you," he eyes me so fiercely that it makes me shiver. "I've never wanted someone's blood as badly as I want yours...it sings to me, Bella." His nostrils flare as he continues. "You're like...my own personal brand of heroin." He once again vanishes to a nearby moss covered rock, and leans on it while his back is facing me. Once he turns, I cant help but notice the scared look on his face.

"Bella...I..I cant hear you...your mind. You have to tell me what you're thinking.

Now this scares me; feelings, im so good with. "Im...im thinking that I dont care what you are. I just want...no, I need to be near you..."

"I've...I've waited so long for someone like you," he sighs and takes my hand into his. "I...I have to show you what we really look like..."

He pulls me onto his back, tells me to hold on tight and close my eyes; I suddenly feel everything zip past us in a matter of seconds. We come to sudden stop and I stumble to my feet as he walks towards a small patch of sunlight beaming through the trees. The light hits his skin, making him sparkle like millions of diamonds.

"Edward...You're beautiful..."

"Im a monster, Bella. Its the skin of a killer!"

"You're not a monster," I walk until im standing right in front of him; his golden eyes gazing down at me. "You're perfect."

We now lay in a small patch of grass covered on flowers. We dont speak, we just gaze at each other; Im still in awe at how beautiful he is, even more so as the sun hits his skin.

"So beautiful..." I know, at this very moment that I truly care for him, but I also Know that I care for Rosalie as well; I might even be in love with them both, and I know I'll have to make a decision soon.

*T.I.M*

"So, sweetie, how are you settling into forks? Are the kids nice? Have you made any friend yet, firefly?"

"Mom," I laugh, shifting on the bed a bit." One question at a time. School's fine. And yes, I've made a few friends, though Im still getting used to being the new kid..."

"Thats great honey! Well what about boys, hmm? Are you...being safe?"

"W-what?" I manage to sputter out and no doubt blushing like an idiot.

"You're not having sex are? I mean if you are, I at least want you to be safe..."

"Mom!" I groan, which soon turns onto a scream because for some unknown reason, Rosalie Hale is leaning in my window with a wide grin.

"Oh my gosh, Bella are you okay? What's going on!"

"Um, nothing," I lie, earning a smirk and a very disapproving head shake from Rosalie. "I just saw a huge bug. But uh...its gone now. So I'll just talk to you later, kay bye!" I hang up the phone before she could utter another word.

"Okay, what the heck are you doing here? And through my window at that..."

"I wanted to see you." She says simply, cocking her head to the side and rolling on her heels; she kind of reminds me of a small child poking at dirt with the way that shes sitting in the window.

"Do you...always visit people in their windows at twelve in the morning?" Im still a bit taken aback by how blunt she was with her response, which would explain why my face is so red.

"No," she starts, finally climbing down from the window seal. "Just you..." Her lips curl up into a slight smirk, and I watch as she slowly makes her way to me; my skin reddens even more at the sight in front of me.

She has on a skin tight, plain white button up thats fully open and exposing her ample bra covered chest. With each step she takes, I can see her stomach contort in the most glorious way. Her legs are barely covered by the short skirt that has gradually ridden up from when she was perched on my window. I think she must of noticed me trying to stare holes at the spot where her legs begin, because she eyes me amusedly before clearing her throat. Yeah, I think my skin is pretty much equivalent to that of a tomato.

"So, you finally figured it out?" Shes now sitting at the edge of the bed and staring me straight in the eye.

"Yes," I find it hard to breathe let alone talk when shes this close, so close that I can smell her summer rain. "I...did..."

"And," shes shift so that her arm is on the other side of me, dangerously close to my hip, and moves her other arm to the side of my pillow. "Are you...afraid?" Im not sure if shes referring to me knowing what she is, or if shes referring to our current predicament? Im now completely sitting upright against my head board, a bit tense and feeling very much claustrophobic at this point.

"N-no, Im not afraid. I know you wont hurt me..."

"Are you sure about that?" She whispers, leaning in and then drifting back somewhat; it almost seems as if shes having difficulty with something.

"Yes...Im sure.." Her eyes drift from my gaze and slowly make their way down my neck. She lingers there for a moment, and I watch her pupils dilate as her chest seems to rise and fall more frequently. She hesitantly moves onward from my neck, to my clavicle and then _lower_; she visibly gulp before dragging her gaze up towards my lips.

Her gaze is unrelenting and I find myself blushing and turning away at its intensity.

"Bella.." Its so soft, the way that she speaks my name, that I cant help but give her my attention.

"You're hearts beating so fast..." Her head tilts to the side curiously.

"I know. Its because...Im nervous." I smile shyly and focus my attention on my hands.

"Im nervous too." She says lowly, getting my attention and earning a weird look.

"You're...nervous?" She grins at my obvious disbelief and shakes her head.

"You always make me nervous, Bella." Its a simply reply, but its the meaning behind it that has me so eager.

"W-why?"

"Because..I..I like you. And...I always want to..." She stops mid-sentence and sets her sight on my lips yet again. "I want...I want to try something, Bella. Will you.. let me?"

"Um..o-okay.." I reply breathlessly, gazing at her lips as well.

She leans forward slowly, eying me as she does so. "Relax...dont move." I shake my head and hold my breath at her command. Shes at the side of my face now, inhaling and breathing hotly against my neck; I let out a ragged breath as I feel her lips ghost across my pulse. "Bella, you have no idea what you're doing to me. You smell," she inhales deeply and moans. "So good.."

"You smell good too, Rose." I breathe against her hair. It reminds me of fresh linen, so soft to the touch with a pleasant aroma.

My hands grasp for her arms when I feel something wet playing my skin; shes now licking, sucking and occasionally nibbling on my neck. I blush at the sounds im making and at the realization of how wet im becoming. Her lips are making a fiery trail up my throat, and to the left side of my cheek until their lightly brushing against mine.

Their like morphine; they make me feel numb but they also make me feel tingly all over. I cant get enough of them and Im guessing neither can she, because shes now shifting in between my legs. I deepen the kiss and move so that im laying flat against my bed. My hands move against the cold, but soft skin of her back as she braces her left hand against my headboard, while the other slowly moves to the inside of my thigh. She plays there for a moment, messaging the skin making me squirm and tense for what I believe is to come.

But atlas, she denies me and opts for a different approach; her hand glides against my skin until it reaches the underside of my bottom, where she cups and gently squeezes. Im caught off guard by the gesture and I jerk forward causing me to arch into her.

"Do you hate the cold now, Bella?" She mumbles against my lip and gives my bottom another good squeeze; theres slight arrogance in her words but I can less cause it only makes me want her more.

"N-no...god, no!" Im panting and gripping her as if my life depends on it. She smiles against me and all I can think about is how badly I want her to take me...and now!

She stiffens suddenly, so I pull back and im a a bit frightened at what I see. Her eyes are wide, completely glazed over and her mouth is agape; its like she paralyzed or something. She comes to a moment later, gasping for unneeded air and shaking her head.

"I have to go.." She says simply as she detangles herself and moves to stand; im utterly confused at this point.

"well, wait! I dont understand," I grasp for her arm and give her this pleading look. "Please stay..." Theres an audible sigh before she shakes her head and gives me a pleading look of her own.

"As much as I would love to, and believe I would...but I cant. Edwards going to be here in a little while and..."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"I'll...explain later. But right now you need to shower...he'll be able to smell me all over you...among other things.." She staring at my crotch with that dumb smirk.

_"Oh my gosh!"_

I blush and shut my legs at the realization of her keen sense of smell, which only makes her laugh.

"Dont be embarrassed. Its actually quite flattering...and you smell mouthwatering by the way."

"Ugh, please stop!" I throw whatever I can find which happens to be a book, and she of course catches it effortlessly.

"I'll see you later, Bella.."

I ignore her words and cross my arms with a pout. "Stupid, sexy vampire..." Shes already out the window but I can still hear her laugh. I smile to myself and decide its best that I go ahead and shower like she said. I wash myself thoroughly, paying close attention to my neck, my crotch, and then lastly wash my hair.

I step out the shower and begin drying off, but as im drying off I notice a small red mark on my neck.

Yeah, she left me with a freakin hickey on my neck.

_"Crap, theres no way im hiding this without makeup. Well, maybe if I,"_ I start messing with my wet hair, moving it to different sides to see what works best. "_There, think that'll work."_ I settle for placing an even amount on each side of my shoulders, effectively concealing my love bite.

I place the towel over my shoulders as well and grab for my tooth brush. Im humming and brushing my teeth as I walk out the bathroom, a habit I picked up from Phil, and walk into my room.

I jump unexpectedly and drop my toothbrush when Im greeted with messy hair and a sly smirk.

"Hello, Bella.."


	7. Cant Lose Control

"Hello, Bella." He greets in that sinfully charming voice of his. He climbs off the windows ledge and glides over towards me. "Sorry I didnt call. I wasnt really expected to stop by, but I was out...and here I am."

One thing I notice off the back about Edward is that he always seems nervous, hesitant; a huge contrast to Rosalie.

"No, no, no. Its fine. Im actually glad you did."

He smiles at this. Its a genuine smile, and not at all like his signature smirk.

We talk for a while; about everything and nothing.

I tell him of Renee and Phil; my life before forks, this, and in return, he tells me about his family.

They're vegetarians; a rare breed among vampires.

He mentions certain abilities his family possess, which has me highly intrigued at the moment.

"So Jasper can sense and manipulate emotions?

"Yes, its quite useful in certain situations, but it tends to conflict with his own emotions."

"Like how?"

"Well, if you were hurting, or if you were sad, mad even, he would feel it. Sometimes it causes him unimaginable pain..."

I frown a bit at this. No wonder he always looks so...stiff.

"And Alice, you said she can see the future? Theres no way she didnt see me coming..."

"Something like that," he chuckles. "Alice did indeed see you coming. She can see alot, but her visions are also subjective. Meaning they can change depending on what that person decides..."

The only thing thats running through my mind is wow.

"What about Carlisle, Esme...Emmett?"

"I really wouldnt call it a power but, Carlisle has a high tolerance for blood. Its a rare feat among us, not even the older vampires can withhold themselves. As for Esme. Well she," he smiles a bit and shakes his head. "She has the ability to be absolutely relentless in kindness.."

Theres a look of adoration on his face and I find myself smiling as well. I havent met her, or anyone for that matter, but she sounds really nice.

"Emmett's power, if you want to call it that, is strength. Besides Rosalie, physically he is the strongest out of our coven..."

Yeah, Emmet definitely looks the part, but again, he did basically just say that he doesnt quite measure up to Rose.

"So Rose is the strongest then?"

"She is," he murmurs, seemingly put off all of a sudden. "She has the potential to be very powerful due to her ability to mimic others..."

"Mimic? Like copy?"

"Yes, her ability allows for her to borrow others ability. But only by touch and if its inflicted upon her. We all thought she was 'normal' at first. She never showed signs of any hidden abilities until she and Alice got into an argument. She asked Alice where her dress was and didnt like the answer she got. So simply put they got into a physical altercation; Alice was overcome by a vision during it and somehow Rose got sucked in. It was bizarre. It never happened with any of us.."

"Wow, so thats like having everyone's abilities wrapped up in one. Amazing."

"Yeah."

I let that information sink in for a moment, really thinking it over when a thought pops into my head.

_"If Edward can read minds, then so can she! And Jasper...oh god, Jasper!"_

I shudder at the thought of knowing exactly what I was thinking and feeling all those times in class.

"Crap..."

"What's the matter?"

"Umm...question. When you told me you couldnt read my mind...well that applies to Rosalie too, right?"

"That I know of." I breathe a sigh of relief. "Why do you ask?" That determined look is on his face, letting me know that he's desperately trying to read me to no avail.

And thank god.

"No reason, really." I lie. "Just curious is all."

He sits there for a minute, completely enthralled with trying to break down these impenetrable walls; brows knitted together in utter concentration and lips in a slight pout.

He looks...cute. And his lips are very intriguing.

"Edward..." It was said so low, im not even sure I uttered it.

"Yes, Bella..?"

I definitely uttered it.

His face softens, adding to his appeal.

"Can I...kiss you?"

Its the most forward I've ever been, the flare in my cheeks is prove of that. He notices of course; eyes darkening in the slightest as my cheeks burn with heat.

"Are you...sure?"

"Positive," I say, mustering up what's left of my dignity. He seems hesitant at first. Unsure but hungry at the same time.

It excites me.

Without another word, he leans forward very slowly; the rise and fall of his hollow chest long forgotten.

He's not breathing.

Our lips brush together in a soft, tantalizing kiss.

I shouldnt but I cant help but compare his kiss to Rose's; always cautious, hesitant, unlike Rosalie's.

We move together slowly, undemanding at first, but my need gets the best of me. I press harder against him, willing and wanting him to open up to me.

I run my tongue over his bottom lip, which was bad because he's now standing in the corner of my room breathing so deep; its almost as if he's trying to suck the air out of the room.

"Edward, im so, so sorry. I didnt mean-.."

"-Bella, I cant," the frustration is clearly evident as he runs his finger through his hair. "I cant lose control with you. Ever.."

He looks so angry with himself, completely frustrated and ashamed.

He moves as if to leave, but I stop him.

"Well, dont leave. Just...just stay. Please?"

He visibly relaxes as he debates this, then returns to my side.

We decide talking is our best bet for now. He tells me funny stories of his family, mostly of Emmet until gradually I begin to tire.

I end up leaning against his chest, trying so hard to stay awake but failing miserably.

Its weird how comfortable his body is. You would think the cold and hardness of it would put me off so to speak, but it doesnt.

It only makes me snuggle closer.

*T.I.M*

I watch her as she sleeps, completely mesmerized by the act. How her eyes seem to flutter as she mutters incoherently.

Its been so long since I've had the luxury of dreaming, so of course id find it fascinating.

Then it happened. She said _her_ name.

"Rose..."

I withhold my growl, but im furious! I knew she was here, I can smell her on the sheets.

_"Always in the way.."_

Im more than sure that Bella has feelings for Rose, especially with the way shes been acting around her, but I refuse to let this happen. Shes not taking Bella away from me, I wont allow it.

Shes mine!

Careful as not to disturb the sleeping girl under me, I detangle myself, placing a gentle kiss to her forehead before blurring out the window.

I give chase towards home and in a matter of minutes, im blurring past Esme, not bothering with an hello, and practically breaking down Rosalie's door.

"You...!"


	8. Shes Mine

Edward. Fucking twat blocking Edward just had to ruin our moment. I truly cant fathom why she likes him. He's overbearing, condescending, pompous, and has the potential to be a stalker.

Yeah, thats what every girl wants in a man. Oh Im sorry, I meant to say boy.

Fucker.

Being cautious to avoid the said "man", I quickly make my way home. As soon as I come in, im immediately bombarded by a wave of excitement; Alice is standing in the doors threshold with an all knowing smirk.

Great.

"So," she begins as I move past her, making it my point to try to ignore her and this conversation. "Hows Bella?"

"Shes fine, Alice." I dont even try to hide my annoyance. "Anything else I can help you with?

"Ya know, I can smell her all over you." Her brows furrow slightly as she takes a whiff of my shirt; I raise an eyebrow, silently daring her to take this exactly where I know its going. "I dont think Edward-.."

"- Ya know what? Dont." I say, raising my hand to silence her; she regards me with a look of confusion. "I could care less about what precious little Eddy thinks. Im tired of him and the little acts he puts on. And as far as Bella goes? I'll put it like this, shes not his to claim. Nor is she mines..."

Wow Ro-Ro," she blinks a couple times and lurches back a bit. "You must really like her, huh?" I smirk at both the nickname and the look of adoration on her face.

"Ro-Ro?"

"Yeah, silly! Its your nickname..."

"Righhhttt," my head shakes in amusement. "And yes, I..I do like her...alot. Im not really sure what all this means but, if she chooses him, then I'll stand aside. If not then, im still in the game and I dont plan on going out without a fight!" I declare, grinning like a Cheshire cat. She joins in with my laughter and hugs me from behind.

Then, well then it get unusually quiet.

"Alice?" She hasn't let go of her hold on my midsection yet, and I cant help but take notice to the small huff she gives.

"Look, I know you and Edward dont really get along. But," she pauses and shifts so that shes standing in front of me now. I hate when she frowns, it makes me feel sad. "I cant help but feel as though Bella may change things. What if things dont work out? What if somebody leaves?" She shakes her head sadly while rubbing at her neck; im hit with a wave of anxiety. "Dont get me wrong, I like Bella. From what I've seen, she seems really sweet and I wish one of you would hurry up and bring her over so I can finally meet her. We are gonna be best friends after all.." And on cue, her dainty little finger taps against her skull. I roll my eyes at the shit eating grin she gives before becoming more serious. "Just...promise me you'll be careful?"

"Alice, I cant speak for Edward, but im not going anywhere. And as far as being careful..well, I always am, Tink!" She giggles and swats at the hand ruffling her hair.

"Hey, where is everyone?" I take notice to how quiet it is.

"Jasper and Emmet went hunting. And Carlisle and Esme are in their room."

My lip purses as I ponder this.

"Well I guess I'll go relax since I know Eddy will be barging in my room in few hours." This time I cant tap my head, smirking all the while as Alice nudges me in the stomach.

"You must really think you're sooo cute since you discovered your powers.."

"Well technically their _your_ powers." I smile victoriously. " And I dont think im cute, I think im hot. Just ask Bella, she'll tell you..." I add as an after thought.

"Oh you!" She attempts to hit me but I quickly move out the way and run to my room."

"You're terrible, Rosalie Hale!" I give a throaty laugh and settle myself by the window.

My mind wonders back to Bella, since its pretty much impossible for me not to think of her. My hands flex in need of something, some type of relief.

I know what they ache for.

Picking up my violin, I sigh as my fingers manipulate the cords with precision. Its been far too long. I love music. Its so relaxing and it helps me sort out my thoughts. Thoughts of Bella.

_"I cant believe we actually kissed! I mean, I thought I wouldnt be able to control myself but I did; im pretty sure I was her first too."_

The thought makes me grin.

Then Edward; he just had to get in the way.

_"Stupid Edward."_

I play for a few hours then decide to call it quits; I lay down and close my eyes. Sleep is no longer a factor for our kind, but we can go into a dream like state. Its like daydreaming.

I daydream about Bella. I think about her lips, the way she tastes, her eyes, that sinfully sweet blush and oh! That wonderful soft, enticing body of hers.

I hear him then. His thoughts are like a siren, annoyingly loud.

He's finally arrived.

"You!" He growls as he practically breaks down my door, breathing like a lunatic.

"Why hello there, _dear brother,"_ I begin, turning my head lazily and offering him a fake curt smile."To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit this fine morning?"

"Cut the crap." He hisses venomously. My eyebrow raises ultimately.

"What did you do to my Bella!"

"Pshh. _Your_ Bella?" I stand from my previous position on the bed and note the the change in his posture. He tenses slightly at my simple gesture, telling me that he feels threaten.

Whatever.

"I dont think you're in any position to take claim over someone who isnt yours, Eddy boy!" I chuckle as he scowls, no doubt from the nickname, and then clenches his fist.

"Oh, and what Bella and I do is none of your concern. Especially since she hasn't made a decision yet. But if you really insist on knowing then here, be my guest!"

I fully open my mind, letting my thoughts and this evenings events bombard Edward full on. He growls and I already know what's coming next.

_"Three, two, one.."_ In a blink of an eye, he's at my throat, roughly slamming me against my wall; it cracks under the pressure.

"Oh? What's the matter, brother?" I taunt, ignoring the slight increase of pressure around my neck and grin. "Upset that Bella let me kiss her? Or maybe its because she had a naughty dream about me?" He shoves me back further with more force, but my smirk never falters.

"Shut up! Shes mine, so stay away from her!"

"Or what, huh? You and I both know I could rip your throat out right now if I really wanted to."

"Edward!" Comes my mothers shrill voice; she looks upon us with confused, shocked eyes. In a matter of seconds, the whole house is looking upon our display. " Put your sister down now!" He winces at the command in her voice and doesnt even think twice about her words. "What's gotten into you too lately!"

"Yeah, Edward. What has gotten into you?" I say, feigning innocence.

"Bella!" Emmet blurts out with a cheeky grin, making me chuckle. Trust Emmet to lighten up the mood.

"Esme," he turns his shameful gaze towards the said women, running a hand through his unruly, gay hair. "Rosalie and I," another pause, followed by a frustrating sigh. "Shes...shes interfering with Bella and I; shes mine..and..and Rosalie's trying to take her away from me!"

What a spoiled little brat.

As expected, my mother shakes her head; a sad smile playing on her lips. "Edward, sweetie. Bella isnt some type of property. You dont own her. Shes free to see whomever she wishes." She gives him one of those motherly smiles. One that can say so much and so little at the same time. "This Bella, did she say she wanted to be with you?"

"Yes!" He whines.

"But she also wants to be with me and he knows it! I havent forced her to do anything. Maybe if you werent acting like a child, you'd see that!"

"Edward," Carlisle cuts in. "You have to let her make her own decisions. Understand that this will not be an easy choice for her to make. Somebody's heart will get broken, but you cant go around acting like a child, throwing tantrums."

Wise words, Carlisle.

Edward looks at me, then looks at everybody else. I watch his hands run through his hair yet again; its always been somewhat of a nervous habit.

"You're...you're right. Im truly sorry. Im...im going to go hunt. I need to think..."


	9. I Love Her

"So, this Bella..she must really mean alot to you. If you guys are acting like this? I gather that you finally figured things out, found that courage?"

She settles herself beside me on the bed and gives a nod toward my family, silently telling them to give us a moment alone.

"Mother," I begin with a smile, shaking my head in disbelief. "I...I love her." She looks at me for a moment, like really looks at me as if she seeing the real me and suddenly smiles so brightly.

"Oh honey," she launches herself at me, hugging me so tightly; im sure if she could, she'd be crying. "Im so happy for you!"

She pulls away and sniffles; that broad smile still apparent.

"You two have been alone for so long. Well Edward has anyway," her lips purse at this. "You had Emmet, but Edward..."

I feel myself twitch at the unsettling wave of sadness she emits.

"Mother?"

"Im just worried is all. I know one of you will get hurt and you know how Edward is."

Yeah, A damn drama queen.

"Im afraid he wont take it so well if she doesnt pick him.."

"Mother, I cant really see the future all that well. Bella hasn't decided, but I promise I wont do anything stupid." I gentle grasp and squeeze her hand. "If she's happy with Edward, then im happy. Although, it wouldnt hurt to have her as my forever..." I smile at the afterthought, to which she mirrors.

"Just..be careful, okay?" I nod my head as she abruptly stands. "And for goodness sake! One of you hurry up and invite her over. I at least wan6 to meet the poor girl before you guys kill each other..." I cant help but chuckle as she checks her head disapprovingly, but smiles nonetheless.

"And Rose?" She turns to look at me before making her exit; my brows raise in a questionable manner. "Try not to tease Edward so much. He is your brother after all..."

I roll my eyes and wave her off with a smile.

Its not long before I settle back onto my bed, letting today's events run through my mind.

"So didnt see all this coming..."

*T.I.M*

**Few weeks prior.**

They've been coming more frequently now, my visions that is. Or Alice's visions to be more exact. Its like a chain reaction, everytime she has a vision, im subconsciously pulled in. Though my visions arent always the same as hers, and sometimes I dont get them at all. But lately, they've been coming nonstop; their mostly about a girl.

A human girl to be exact. I honestly dont understand what her significance is; she just seems like any other plain, ordinarily pathetic, human girl, but somehow I dont think thats the case. We only have recurring visions when something major is about to happen.

On occasion, I've asked Alice what she think it all means and she made a point about this girl, this human girl getting involved with our family somehow.

I cant help but snort at the idea. How and why would this pathetic creature ever be involved with our kind? Its unheard of! The thought alone disgust me, not to mention the fact that we'll all be implicated if the Volturi find out.

My body shudders involuntarily as im hit with a vision.

Its of the human of course. She smiling and staring into the eyes of someone unknown. Her face is flushed, something I've taken notice to on several occasions. And though I've made it my duty to utterly despise this creature, I cant help but notice how the blush makes her look rather appealing.

I scoff.

Like I said, im disgusted or rather I want to feel disgusted by how this girl tends to make me second guess myself, but obviously im kidding myself. Though shes not the most eye catching human I've seen in my lifetime, she does have a certain hidden beauty, whether I want to acknowledge it or not.

"You could at least try to keep your thoughts to yourself.." My brother, Edward, interrupts with a forced cough; guess he didnt like the explicit thoughts playing in my head just now.

"Yeah well, maybe _you_ should try not to read my thoughts, Eddy!" He hates that nickname. The glare he's giving me reinforces this truth.

"Ya know, sometimes you're worst than those hormonal boys at our school.."

"Oh please, Edward. Dont even try to act all righteous! I can read your thoughts just as well as you can read mine. Oh, and lets not forget that fact that your oozing sexual frustration buddy..." I smirk at the way he purposely turns his head away, shamefully might I add.

"Oh stop it you two!" Alice barks, sauntering over towards the couch. "I can tell you both like her even if you wont admit it." She challenges me with a raise of her eyebrows before continuing with flicking through channels. "I've got a good feeling that she may just be involved romantically with one of you.."

Something in my stomach flutters at the idea.

"I also had a vision that she's going to be my bestfriend!" She squeals at this, throwing herself against the back of the couch and kicking her legs.

Girl has serious issues.

"What? I didnt have any visions of that!"

"I know," she smiles smugly."Thats because I had it when Jasper and I were in France..."

"Is there anything else you're hiding from me?"

"Wouldn't you like to know.." She stands abruptly and practically dancing towards the stairs.

"Yes, yes I would like to know!" I all but growl, earning a giggle from the pixie like vampire.

"Well, thats too bad." Is her sing-song reply; I try to force my way into her head but she blocks me.

"Dammit, Alice!" She laughs and takes off towards Carlisle study.

Stupid future seeing pixie!

*T.I.M*

"Boom! And Emmet does it again!" Emmet declares, standing and bowing, giving thanks to his imaginary audience. "Thank you, thank you. No need for an applause..." I roll my eyes at his childish display; he's such a big kid.

We're stretched across his bedroom floor, right in front of his massive television playing Street Fighter. I usually kill at the game, but lately ive been a little...distracted.

"Man Rosy-Posy, you really suck now!" He grins one of his big boy dimpled grins. "Thinking about your human, huh?" He accuses, wiggling his brow in that perverted way that only makes me laugh.

"No! What makes you think that..?" I ignore the pointed look he's giving me and focus my attention on choosing a different character.

"Pssh! I may act naive sometimes but im not as dumb as I look. You and Edward are always thinking about her. Everyone around here can tell, thanks to Jasper." I see his head shake out of my peripherals. "I feel sorry for the guy. He has to deal with the worst of it, besides you of course..."

He right. Jaspers been having to deal with this just as much and Edward and myself.

"I feel bad, Emmy. But, I just dont know what to make of all this yet. I mean, shes a girl...!"

"And thats a bad thing? What about that little thing you had with Tanya...shes a girl..."

"Thats," I pause, not really knowing what to say. "Different. I mean her being a girl isnt really the issue...its the fact that shes human..."

"Ahh. Dont worry about it. You're thinking way too much into it. You'll figure it out.."

"Thanks, Emmy. You always know how to make me feel better."

Emmet has always had a special place in my heart. He's like a safe haven for me. We dated a while back when I was fairly new to this life, but it didnt last long. He just felt too much like a brother or me.

"No prob. But ya might wanna hurry up with that...she'll be in school tomorrow.."

Well that changes things. I totally forgot.

"Nevermind, Emmy. You suck!"

"Aww, I love you too, Rosy!"

*T.I.M*

"You've been distant lately." Jasper replies nonchalantly, moving one of his pieces; we're in the library, having it out in a game of Chess.

"Yeah, I know," I sigh. "Alot on my mind, I guess.."

"You and me both." The smile he gives is sad, painful even.

"Yeah. Im really sorry about that, Jazz. Just been on edge lately.."

"Its fine," he waves me off with his hand. " Do you like her?"

"I dont know," admit with a sigh. "I mean, I shouldnt. It goes against everything that we are. But, I do feel something for her. Its really quite frustrating really. I mean, how can you feel something for someone you've never met?"

"Guess thats just how love is..." I eye incredulously as he squints in concentration.

Who said anything about love?

"Love? I never said anything about loving her. Heck, I dont even know if I like her!"

"Didnt have to," he shrugs with a subtle smirk playing on his lips; and taps at his hollow heart and the only thing I can do is sigh.

"I'll be in my room playing music.."

"Yup." Is all he says before picking up an old Civil War book.


	10. Ordinarily Intriguing

Very aware of Edward pounding on the keys of his piano, I concentrate on the feeling of my hands manipulating the cords of my Violin.

I can respect him in that aspect; music is something he and I have in common. Its calms our mind and body, and though we dont get along, we sometimes use these times as a sort of bonding.

During this time, Im bombarded by several visions, most being scattered images of the human; some of her laughing, frowning and so on.

No longer able to concentrate, I call it quits around eight thirty. Its frustrating, having something play out in your head but not knowing what it all means. I assume its also frustrating for Edward as well, because he too stops.

Serves him right for looking into my head.

Knowing full well that its going to be a very long night, I lay down on my bed, stiffly, and let whatever images come, flow through me.

I think the only thing that makes this gift a curse is the fact that im being pulled into every vision Alice has. Its like a chain reaction. When she has one, I have one, though there not always of the same thing.

This will continue on til morning. Til the day I finally meet this human.

"Ugh."

*T.I.M*

As usual, all human eyes are on us as we arrive. We've only been here for a couple years, and you'd think they'd get over our whole "Physical appeal" but thats not the case.

Everyday its like they're star struck. Girls mindlessly throwing themselves at Edward and Emmet. They're barking up the wrong tree with Eddy, but unlike him, Emmett enjoys the attention.

Flashing them dimpled grins and "innocent" waves.

_"Pshh, theres nothing innocent about that giant teddy bear.."_ I muse to myself.

Thus far, everyone in my family has been subjected to the swooning, and the secret crush's(or not so secret crushes, since I can read their thoughts) Alice and myself included.

Alice I can understand, since shes easily likable, but me?

Yeah, they're way in over there heads. I made that quite clear with a few boys and girls who were brave enough to step to me.

I have no interest in humans, especially selfish, whiney, self-centered humans.

_"Your one to talk."_ I glare menacingly at Edward, killing him with my stare.

A loud clanging noise abruptly gets my attention.

Its the sound of a engine. A very old engine at that. Lazily I watched with a grimace as it comes to a halt across the lot.

Clumsily and very much awkwardly, a pale figure emerges from the rusty old truck. Even from here, I can see the small paint chips falling as she slams the door none to softly.

My grimace never falters as I take in her fashion sense. Somewhat baggy faded jeans a high yellow raincoat, and I can only imagine what her shirt looks like.

"Bet its flannel." Alice takes the words right out my head.

A boy seems to have her attention for a second, muttering some immature nonsense, so I cant quite make out her face.

But her scent?

Oh I can make out her scent a mile away. Its unlike anything I've ever smelt. Its intense, so sinfully intense that it has my throat burning.

And its exactly what brings me back to earth.

I suck in a bunch of unneeded air, unintentionally consuming her, and almost choke.

"Edward...!" I tap into Edwards mind, trying to gauge his reaction.

"I know." Is all he says, peering at me with strained, black eyes. I dont need to look at the others to know that they are no different.

We need to hunt before we come anywhere neat that girl.

Knowing that we had at least twenty minutes to spare, we discreetly took off towards the woods.

Im not sure how many deer's I drained, but it still didnt fully stop the burning in my throat. Its like her scent is imbedded in me.

School drags on for us almost like it usually does, normally, _almost_.

Theres nothing normal about sitting in class and an assembly, thinking only of ripping out the unsuspecting girls throat and drinking her dry.

Even with the countless students gathered in the auditorium, its still didnt delude her scent.

Lunch comes round, and for the second time today we hunt. All my kills are frenzied, but also neat.

An ounce of blood never hit me or the ground.

We come back just in time to "pretend".

One by one we enter the room, all eyes on us, and my eyes on the human. I faintly hear Jessica Stanley giving her daily gossip on us, but I focus more on this girl, Bella, I believe her name is.

Its somewhat fitting, I will admit. Shes beautiful in her own sense. Ordinary yet so much more. That much is clear from her scent.

Even out here, outside the lunchroom walls, I can still smell her.

It makes my mouth water, burn with venom, and breifly I picture myself engulfing her very essence.

Edward reads my mind of course, and discreetly grabs for my arm as we finally make our own appearance into the lunch room.

At this very moment, Ive never been more grateful for him.

We gather at our usual table, in the far corner, away from the humans and pretend to eat our lunch. Or rather our garbage anyway.

I focus on scrambling my food around my plate, humming to myself in my head in order to keep Eddy out. My eyes appear to be glued on the task before me, but unbeknownst to everyone, im eyeing Bella in my peripherals.

She looks so plain, yet I find her intriguing.

She looking at us, taking in everything Jessica says I assume and then eyes me.

"Edward and Rosalie, huh?"

If we were human, we probably wouldnt have heard it. Unfortunately that isnt the case; we're vampires with super senses, so we heard it quite clear.

I wanted to ignore it, just like I wanted to ignore her scent.

But I couldnt.

Lifting my head, Im immediately consumed by brown orbs. They're bright, curious, yet also hidden.

They flash for a second, shock evident as they dilate in the slightest once our gaze meets.

Shes nervous, that much is clear from the way her heart is thrumming against her chest.

I furrow my brow in both concentration in confusion as I try to read her thoughts.

But I get nothing.

"Edward, I cant-.."

"-I know. Me either..."

It doesnt make sense at all.

The only thing I can hear is a buzzing sound and her rapidly beating heart. I instantly flare at how enticing it is.

Its inviting, both the blush and sound of her heart.

Luckily for me, she turns her head away.

Theres a low hiss from next to me, turning slightly, I notice Jaspers, if not everyone's, stiff posture.

"This is isnt good. We have to figure something out...for that girls sake."

" I know, but...theres not much we can do right now. Hopefully, this will be our only class. If not , we're just gonna have to try to endure it as best as we can..."

I take another glance her way just before the bell rings, glaring slightly at the effect she has on us.

_"Its unheard of.."_

*T.I.M*

Staring out the window of my history class, I focus more so on my brothers thoughts than the class itself.

Edwards in Biology with her, sitting so close he had to stop breathing in order to take back some control.

That doesnt stop him from panting though. Im sure he can practically taste her on his tongue, cause I can. Just the thought of her period, brings savory tingle to my taste buds.

I've never had human blood, but I know she would taste define.

So far he's doing good; theres only about ten minutes left.

_"Rose, I just want to taste her so badly."_ Its a growl, and more than likely an audible grow at that. _"I need her!"_

"No!" I shout in my head, and apparently out loud as well. Im stood to my feet, peering around at all the confused and expected faces of my peers; feeling a bit embarrassed, I try to improvise.

"I mean, No! I dont want class to end..." right on cue, the bell rings and without another thought, im out the door.

Not even half way down the hall, I spot Edward headed towards me, aimed right for the Office.

He looks frazzled but somewhat in control...for the time being, so I dont think it'd be necessary to follow him.

Im sat in my English class now, gingerly waiting for the the other students to arrive, very much bored.

One by one they come in, chatting and gradually filling the empty seats. Angela, takes her seat across from me, purposely avoiding my eyes, and busies herself with rummaging through her bag.

She seems nice enough; shy, yet friendly... to most anyway.

I think she finds me intimidating, which is why she probably avoids me.

Cant blame her though, I can be somewhat of a bitch, but only to those who deserve it.

I mull over this for a minute, when im suddenly hit full force with that tantalizing scent.

Shes here, _Bella_.

_"Please dont sit next to me.."_ I pray to whatever being will listen. Unfortunately they've deemed me unworthy; the teacher does some reorganizing, placing us in groups, and just who happens to be in mine?

Bella fucking Swan, thats who!

We do the meaningless task of introducing ourselves, me, constantly swallowing venom as she blushes beyond reason.

Every word that spilled from her mouth, made venom pour into my own.

Edward was right, I need to taste her. Her unwelcoming blush is driving me crazy!

Im not helping the situation by staring at her like a crazed maniac either, but come on!

And shes very much aware of my gaze, shifting uncomfortably as I growl under my breath.

Im not at all aware of time as I sit here, grimacing and glaring at the poor girl, but all too soon the bell rings. Of course im up and out before hand, headed straight for the exit.

A much needed hunt is in order.

Instead of returning to my classes as I should of, I decide to call it quits for the day. I come back just in time as the final bell rings and await for my family in the parking lot.

Something apparently has Edward eyes, or rather someone and I dont need to look to know exactly who it is.

But I indulge the thought for a minute and mirror his actions.

As expected, my gaze lands on Bella, and...Mike Newton?

Not only is he hugging her, but the little shit has the audacity to think perversely of her.

I feel a shrill of pain; something rising within me. Something very much unfamiliar to me, something I dont think I've felt since this life came to be.

Jealousy.

Im jealous and its beyond me. I dont get jealous of anything, especially not some chubby, nasally, perverted little prick!

I want to rip his dick off!

And judging from the growl coming from Edward, I think he'd like to do the same.

Mine! Is all my head seems to be screaming, and it catches me off guard.

_"Since when did I start thinking this girl, Bella, as mine?"_

_"Yeah, when did she become yours, Rosalie?"_ Is Edwards stark reply. _"Really, _your_ Bella?_

_"Fuck off, Eddy!"_

I whimper slightly, along with Jasper as the pain intensifies.

"Cut it out, you guys! Cant you see you're hurting Jazz?"

"Yeah, man. This is ridiculous! You guys havent even spoke a single word to the girl and your already fighting over her like a bunch of hormonal teenagers...!"

And this is coming from Emmett, so perhaps they're right?

"Oh look, shes leaving..."

Sure enough, I turn just in time to see her climbing into her truck and driving off.

Thank god.

*T.I.M*

Im beyond frustrated when I get home. This human, this girl I've denied so many times in my visions has caused so many conflicted emotions within me.

Granted, I've seen most of this coming in my little minds eye, but its way different when its actually playing out.

I want to hate her, absolutely loathe her for causing such a stir, but I cant.

I want to stay away, I should, but at the same time I want to know just who she is.

Im not the only one having trouble it seems, the whole house is gushing about her, thanks to Alice and Jasper, everyone except myself and Edward that is.

He's barricaded himself in his room, having one of his self loathing episodes. The typical "Im so disgusted with myself" mumbo jumbo.

Thats so like him. So overly dramatic, its pathetic.

I mean yeah, im frustrated with the way I acted but im not gonna hate myself for it. Its her own damn fault for smelling so sinfully good.

Deciding to try to gather insight on these thoughts and emotions, I briefly meet up with Carlisle.

"So this girl, Bella. How is she?"

"Oh, shes all well and dandy, Carlisle. Happy sappy." I quip sarcastically; I guess im a bit more frustrated then I thought.

"I meant, what it is she like, Kitten?"

I sigh, knowing full well what he meant.

"Shes ordinary, yet so much more." I begin shaking my head and peering up at the ceiling. "Ordinarily beautiful, enticing and type of ordinary you just cant stay away from..."

_"An angel of the underworld. Or maybe a demon from paradise?"_ I muse to myself.

"I see. She's caused quite the ruckus from what I can tell. Just what is it that makes her so different? Why is she such an exception?"

"Aside from that sinfully sweet scent of hers? Everything it would seem. Shes unlike any girl or human I've laid eyes on. I can read her emotions, see her in my visions, but cant read her thoughts..."

"Interesting.."

"No, not interesting, _Carlisle_. Bad, very bad! You and I both know what Alice and even myself have seen. My visions are enough to let me know a little about what's happening in her head, and if what I've seen is true, shes somehow going to be attached to this family. That cant happen!"

"I know what you mean, Rose. And to a point I agree that this is quite the predicament. But maybe this, whatever this is, is a good thing?"

A good thing?

"How is any of this good? She implicates everything we hold dear! What about the Volturi? What do you think will happen if she finds out, hmm?"

He is insane?

"Rosalie, calm down. I understand, I do. I get everything your saying, Kitten. But," he pauses for a second, pursing his lips. " let me ask you this, how do you feel about her?"

"How do I...feel about her?"

"Yes, truly. Deep down, despite all your qualms and fears, how do feel about her thus far?"

How do I feel? I hadnt really thought it through, since I was too busy fighting to keep control or forcing myself not to think of her.

"I...I dont know. And thats what's so frustrat-.."

Im cut off by a familiar haze and im immediately bombarded by images of a family camping trip, due to an unusual sunny day in Forks.

I smile as I come to and im greeted by an expected look from Carlisle.

"Sunny day in Forks?"

"Yup!"

"Camping trip?"

"Yup!"


	11. Reach For The Catalyst

The camping trip is just what we all needed. A breathe of fresh air away from Forks.

Away from her.

Carlisle insisted that we test our control, so he brought a few blood packs with him. It didnt compare to Bella's in the slightest, but we make due.

Everyone did good, even Jasper, which is a bit of a shock since he's the "baby" of the family. He is the last to join the family, along with Alice, but unlike her, he was completely hooked on human blood.

We stay a few states away, in Nebraska; a good friend of Carlisle's has taken a permanent residency here. And while everyone else, Edward not included, is goofing off, I spend most of my time thinking of Bella.

I can still smell her, feel the warmth radiating off her skin as she blushed.

Its agonizing really. Trying to understand, but also trying to get away from her. I hate to admit it, but as much as I want to stay away, should stay away, I want to also be near her.

"There you are." Alice's voice rings through my ear. I look down from the tree im currently perched in to see her tiny form scaling it gracefully.

I always envied that about Alice. She has this certain grace about her that no human or vampire could mimic.

"Whats up, Rosy?"

"Nothing, Tink." I sigh audibly. "Just thinking is all..."

"About Bella?" She cocks her head to the side curiously.

"Unfortunately, yes. I dont understand what's happening to me. Everytime I try to force myself not to think about her, I think about her anyway..."

"Have you sorted out your feelings for her?"

"No, and thats whats drive me crazy! Clearly I feel something for the girl, otherwise I wouldnt be brooding and beating myself up over her. I dont know," I shake my head,"Perhaps maybe...im just scared?"

"Oh, Rosy. Dont beat yourself up about it. Its okay to be scared and unsure. This is new for everyone." I feel her reach for my hand and give it a comforting squeeze. "I think you should at least try to get to know her..."

"You too, huh?" I chuckle sadly. "Carlisle pretty much told me the same thing, despite my worries of the Volturi..."

"Yes, it is and will be quite the scandal if this gets out. But you and I both know shes not going anywhere, so you cant keeping hiding or fighting it for that matter..."

"Yeah, I hear ya. I hate feeling this way, Alice. So...unsure. Vulnerable. Im not used to it. Im always in control..."

"Yes, but...thats kind of what makes this that much more appealing. Beautiful even. You're feeling things you havent felt in a long time, am I right?"

I nod my head solemnly.

"Dont fret so much. Just...go with it. Who knows, this could be your destiny.."

"Well I wouldnt go that far. But, I'll...try. I wont make any promises, but I guess it wouldnt hurt to try talking to her.

"Thats the spirit!" She giggles, literally tackling me the ground. We fall together with a loud thud, earth caving in under us from the force.

I peer up at her grinning face with a playful glare.

"Didnt see that one coming, huh?"

*T.I.M*

I return home to Forks early Wednesday morning, around four-ish, while the rest of my family stayed behind an extra day.

Something spurs me to see the girl thats been plaguing my thoughts for hours on end, so when my feet land me right near the Swans residence, im not too surprised.

Its five something as I scale her house and perch myself against her window. The first thing I notice is her scent; it is very much strong, more so in here, her room, but it doesnt quite have that strong potency it did when I first saw her.

_"Guess that testing really worked out for me after all."_

The second thing I noticed(though, I already knew) is that She's asleep, something I wish I so desperately had the luxury of indulging in.

But I cant.

Now, Ive never watched a human sleep before in my days as a vampire, never really needed or wanted to, but for some reason, I find it quite fascinating.

Deciding to get a better look, I shift closer, settling myself on the floor, indian style and watch, completely enthralled.

Shes facing me, body curled up into a ball, like a fetus.

I watch her mannerisms, the way she snuggles closer into the bed or mumbles something incoherent.

I watch this go on for exactly twenty minutes before im engulfed into a vision.

A vision of her waking up and possibly freaking out because im in her room, watching her sleep like some weird, perverted physco.

Deciding its best for both of us if I leave, I do just that.

I wouldnt go back to school today just yet. No, I still needed time to fully adjust. To figure out just what the hell im going to say to this girl. Not only that, but I have so many questions I need to figure out.

One being, if im vying for for attention? And if so, how exactly am I suppose to gain it?

"Ugh, who knew trying to talk to a girl would be so hard?"

The rest of the day would consist of me mulling over these thoughts, but not coming up with any type of conclusion.

As promised, the rest of my family returns the next morning. Right on time for school; I immediately hide my thoughts from Edward, humming a soft tune in my head.

He knows what Im doing of course, I always do it, so he doesnt think anything of it.

He tells us that he will not be attending school today, for he thinks heMs still to "weak". I breathe a sigh of relief and inwardly do a fist pump at the prospects of being undisturbed during my secret mission.

Its typical of him, but hey, im not complaining.

We, as in Emmett, Alice, Jasper and myself, make sure to feed twice before heading to school. Its going to be an interesting day to say the least, filled with many possibilities and I want to make sure im somewhat prepared.

_"This could be your destiny, Rose..."_ Alice's words ring into my ear, somewhat encouraging me.

_"Yes, it could..."_

*T.I.M*

Unfortunately when I get to school, Edward is there. Says he didn't want to take the risk of me doing something stupid so he'd "monitor" the situation.

I call bullshit. Somehow I must of slipped up with my thoughts and he heard something he didnt like.

She hasn't noticed our presence, we keep our distance, parking away from from our usual spot, and do our best to keep out of sight.

I want to suprise her, if you will.

We skip lunch all together, opting to sit outside, chatting and doing nothing in particular.

Im anxious for English. Anxious to see how this will all play out.

As usual, im the first to arrive to class, anxiously awaiting in my seat for class to start.

For her.

It doesnt take long of course, that mouth watering scent waffles into class without a minute to spare.

The anxiousness welling into the pit of my stomach has now turned into nervousness as her eyes flash towards my own. They widen a bit, before slightly squinting into a scowl.

Shes mad, that much is sure from the way she purposely tries to ignore my presence. Of course she falters a bit; the way her hearts beating lets me know she somewhat excited to see me.

"Hello, Bella." Instantly and in all forms of anger is washed away, leaving a somewhat shocked expression. I cant help but smile about it. "Its nice to see you again. Im Rosalie..." She looks slightly taken aback by my unusual bright behavior; almost as if shes dazzled.

Which isnt too farfetched.

"Umm, y-yeah. I uh...I know who you are.."

Yes, she knows who you are Rosalie, we all introduce ourselves the last time in class, remember?

"Right," I smirk at my inner thoughts. "Well, I wanted to apologize for the way my brother and I were acting. We werent really...feeling good and it was very rude of us to-.."

"-Edward. He...he wasnt in Biology today.." She cuts me off, eying me expectedly.

"Um yeah. He's still a bit sick so he's been in the nurses office. He asked me to get any notes he may have missed..."

So its a lie, no harm done.

"Oh, um yeah. But, you guys werent in lunch either though..." That peaks my interest.

So she's been looking for us?

I smirk at this knowledge, lifting a fine brow teasingly.

"Were you...looking for me, Bella?"

Her face instantly flares, and I have to stop breathing for a moment at how intense it is.

"N-no! I..I mean yes! I was but not like..." Shes stuttering like a mad man.

"Bella," I begin, chuckling and deciding to put her out of her misery. She blushing more at the sound, I assume, making my eyes dilate, coaxing them into dark embers. "Calm down, Bella. Im joking. As for me not being at lunch, well, maybe I just wanted to surprise you..."

My attempt at being suave and mysterious have officially failed. Its a blow to the ego when after saying something like that, it gets uncomfortably silent.

_"Good job, Rose.."_ I berate myself.

"Sooo...how are you liking the weather..?"

Her features scrunch up in confusion at my words, and I cant help but think that im digging myself into an even lamer hole.

"You're...you're asking me about the weather?" She deadpans, obviously expecting something better.

"Well yeah. Is that...okay?"

_"No its not okay. Its lame."_

"Y-yeah, its just," she begins with a shrug but seems to get caught up in my eyes.

"You okay?" Im fully aware of what's happening, its natural, her finding me alluring that is.

"Y-Yeah, sorry. Um the weather?" I nod my head, trying to keep from smiling. "Umm I dont know...I dont really do so well with cold and wet. Anything cold I just dont..like."

Oh I just cant help but find the irony in that.

_"If she only knew.."_ I muse to myself, shaking my head and chuckling.

"What's so funny?" She asks a bit confused, which only serves to amuse me more.

"Nothing, its just...kind of a inside joke type of thing."

"-And I wouldnt understand.." She questions in a serious yet sarcastic tone; her face is neutral so I cant tell if shes joking or not.

"No, thats not what I meant. Its just..well I...you wouldn't really get it unless I...," that eyebrow raises and I literally feel like face palming myself for digging that whole that much more deep. "Crap! Wait, what I mean is.." I try to reel back, but the sound of her giggling breaks my train of thought.

"You should see the look on your face right now.." She manages through her laughter; she lets out a snort, something I hadnt expected and neither did Angela.

"Wow, did you really just snort?"

"Stopppp," is her whiny reply, turning a deeper shade of red. I shake my head willing both her scent and my giggles to subside. "Ugh, dont make fun of me...its so embarrassing."

"Its really not," I say with a smile, taking a few unneeded breaths. "I think its cute..."

And for the second time today, its gets uncomfortably silent; we all sit there, kind of acting as if I didnt just say that.

I scrunch up my face, clearly confused as to why I felt the need to say it in the first place.

I glance at Angela and notice the slightly awkward look on her face. She catches my stare and opts for putting in her ear plugs to her Ipod.

Beyond awkward.

"So um, if you dont really like the cold or wet. Why's you move to one of the wettest places in the U.S?" I ask handing her my English sheet. She seems stuck for a minute, caught up in my presence as she tries to answer.

"Well, my moms always been sort of a free spirit I guess you can say. So I dont know...she just got remarried a year ago to a Minor Leaguer named Phil.." She scribbling down her answers just as I put my pencil down. She blinks a couple times, peering over at my sheet.

"You're done?" Shes clearly surprised as she looks around to see that everyone else is still working, including herself. "Thats fast. Took about what, five minutes?"

Three minutes and thirty-eight seconds to be precise.

"Well, lets just say im really good when it comes to English. All my classes are A.P.."

"This is A.P? It seems a bit..."

"-Remedial? Yeah, thats because its the beginning of the semester...it might get harder for you later on." I dont try to hide my teasing, triumphant smile either.

"For me? And What's that suppose to mean exactly?" She trying to sound hard and somewhat appalled by my words, as if shes truly hurt and angry at my assumption, but the smile on her lips tells me otherwise.

"Nothing at all," I smirk, shoulders shrugging. "Just talking.."

"Yeah, mhmm. You mind if I check?"

She can check all she wants, but I guarantee she wont find a single mistake.

"Sure, if you want. Butttt theres really no need.." I slide the paper over her way, watching as she scans each line, biting the inside of her cheek.

I watch her amusedly, and somewhat aroused at the sight of her biting her lips. Its a bad habit, but she makes it look really good.

And I shouldnt admit that because its wrong, so very wrong.

_"But so very right!"_

My own lips curls up in the corner as she hesitantly hands me the paper, catching each others gaze.

"Like I was saying. Theres no need...Im good at English."

The bell rings sometime after, signaling for the break in between classes. We walk down the hall together, gaining a few stares as we continue to talk.

"So, back to you and your mom. The guy she married..."

"-Phil?"

"Yeah, do you not like him much or...?"

"No. Phil's nice enough. He makes her happy so Im happy.."

"So why'd you move then?" She seems to ponder this question for a minute, scratching at her neck and furrowing her brows.

"Look, im sorry if im being too nosy, its just...Im trying to figure you out. You're very hard to read.." To make my point clear, I lean forward on my toes, as if im physically trying to break down her mind with my intent gaze.

Doesnt work, if anything, it makes me look like a weirdo.

"Well, I um...I guess the main reason is because I felt like she needed her space...ya know, since she has phil and all? I just want her to be able to enjoy her life more. That...and they're always on the road..."

Slowly, I lean back, tilting my head to side before nodding in agreement.

"Hey um...did you get contact?" The question catches me off guard for a minute, blinking a few times as I try to hear her thoughts once more.

But again, I fail.

"No, uh...why do you ask?"

"Its just...your eyes. They were like pitch black the other day and now...their like golden. Like the sun..."

The only thing I can think to do is shut my eyes. Or run, which would be the best thing to do.

"Uh, no. Its the lights...fluorescent..." Despite what I really want to do, which is keep my eyes shut, I do the opposite.

"Weird.." Is what I pick up under her breath.

"Um listen. I gotta...I gotta go..I'll see ya later, Bella.." I abruptly turn on my heels, ending any and all inquiries.

_"Shes way too damn observant..."_

*T.I.M*

Leaning against my car and watching Bella lazily, I feel Edward presence beside me. I open my mind to him, showing him what happened in class.

"You're getting way to close to her, Rose..." Is his supercilious reply.

"You're just mad that I beat you to it.."

The little rant that follows suit is my own fault of course; I ignore it, focusing only on the girl ahead.

Suddenly im pulled into a vision; a van, Tyler's van was going to crush Bella. And the blood?

God the blood.

"You cant," I hear Edward growl as I come to. "She'll find out!"

"Im not gonna let her die, Edward!" I pull my arm out from his grasp, just as the sound of screeching tires rings in my ear.

Fuck!

Saying to hell with the consequences, I sprint towards the shocked girl, gently grabbing her by the waist, and slightly pull her up under me as I jut my arm out. The van collide with my solid arm, causing it to push back slightly from the force before halting in its tracks.

I could smell her, hear the fear pumping in her veins; a look of sheer terror on her face as she stares at me wide eye, trying to figure out what the fuck just happen.

My sentiments exactly.

_"What the fuck did I just do?"_

Im acutely aware of her attempts to voice these thoughts, but I cut her off. Before she can even finish the sentence, I just take off running, Edwards voice screaming in my head all the while.

_"You idiot! You realize what you've just done! This puts everybody at risk..!"_

_"Fuck off, Edward! I wasnt just gonna sit there and let her die. Have you even considered how bad that would be...the blood?"_

He quiet now.

_"Besides, I doubt she'll remember anything , especially since she bumped her head. And if she does, then I'll handle it.."_

_"No, _I'll_ handle it. You've done enough damage for today."_ He huff irritably; I can picture him running his hand through is ridiculous hair.

Pompous little shit.


	12. How Do You Know?

I run, and I dont stop running until I get to the hospital. I talk to Carlisle, telling him what happened, and he reassures me not to worry.

"Does she remember anything?"

Turns out, that little bump to the head caused a lump to form; she fainted, which kind of gives me leverage when it comes time to explain.

Because she is going to ask question. She just way too curious for her own good not to.

"Im afraid so. She's been making hints about the situation since shes been here. Shes a very curious girl, Rosalie.."

"I told you. I knew this was going to happen." Edward hisses to himself, pacing the hall hall way back and forth.

"Whatever, Edward. For someone who seems and says they have a interest in the girl, you sure dont act like it. I mean really, the fact that you were actually willing to let her die just to keep this, us, under wraps speaks volumes.."

Im about to continue my rant when Bella heartbeat flares; shes peering awkwardly around the corner at us. She seems stuck but determined.

"I'll handle it Carlisle, dont worry.."

"You mind if I talk to you for a sec..?" Knowing full well who shes referring to, I decide to play dumb and ignore her.

If Edward wants to handle it, then be my guest. I leave with Carlisle, but focus in on the conversation taking place.

"What...where's Rosalie going? I need to talk to her..."

"Look, Bella. I think its best that you go home and rest...you hit your head pretty hard."

"Im not leaving until I talk to Rosalie! I need to know how...how she got to me so fast when she was standing right next to you from across the lot..."

She truly is too curious for her own good.

"Bella," he chuckles condescendingly. "She was standing right next to you the whole time..."

"-Bull-crap! I know what I saw, Edward.."

"-Oh, and what's that?"

"She...she pushed the van away..with...with her hands. I saw her..."

This is a losing battle; shes not convinced, nor will she ever be.

"Yeah, well...no one will believe you. You should just forget about what you think you saw, Bella..."

Theres that condescending tone again.

"I...I wasnt gonna tell anyone. I just...need to know.."

"Cant you just be grateful?"

"I am! Im very grateful and I would love to thank her but..."

"-You're not gonna let this go are you?"

No.

"No."

Told ya.

"Yeah, well I hope you like disappointment."

Really? That was his way of "handling" it?

_"I hope you like disappointment." _

Really? That idiot! I could of done way better on my own. Didnt accomplish anything but peeking her curiosity.

Jackass.

So much for tact.

*T.I.M*

She's going to question us further, my visions are proof of that. More than likely tomorrow too, so I need a plan.

Theres really nothing I can say that could possibly explain what happen, but I still have to try.

"What about an adrenaline rush? Its highly plausible and theres tons of "unique" stories on the internet to back it up..." Alice chirps from my bed, flipping through the latest fashion mag; I've been pacing around my room nonstop for about six hours.

It could happen, I suppose.

"Thats a brilliant Idea, Alice! I knew there was a reason why you're my bestfriend.

"Hey, what about me!" Emmett whines from down stairs.

"Oh hush, Emmy! You know where my heart lies.."

I take a glance at Alice and notice the playful scowl on her face; I dismiss her with a kiss and promise to indulge her in a shopping trip.

Works everytime.

*T.I.M*

Tomorrow comes today, and as expected she watches our every move throughout the beginning of the school day, starting with the parking lot.

High tension is the only word that I can describe for my families behavior; we're all pretty much on high alert.

Judging from Edwards disgruntled look as I pass by in the hallway, things didnt go so well in Biology.

Id say that im well over a little nervous when I clamber in the classroom. Unlike the times before I dont anxiously gaze at the door, I keep my gaze mostly towards the window.

She arrives a few minutes later, that scent hitting me as it usually does and I glance up as she makes her way towards her seat. A look of utter determination marring her features. I shift a bit as she eyes me intently; books neatly set in front her.

Shes challenging me with her eyes, and for a moment I indulge her, I rarely lose at this game; glaring and making others feel intimidated is something I sort of take pride in.

But this game is far too dangerous for me. The way her eyes seem to flash with something unknown has me reeling back.

With a deep breath I concede, opting to stare out the window. She continues to eye me of course, I watch her watch me from my peripherals.

I dont mind. It happens often and I'd be lying if I said I didnt enjoy her attention.

I furrow my brows as another scent hits me; its similar to her usual smell, but more potent, almost musky. Then realization hits me.

Shes getting wet.

The thought fascinates me in more ways then one. I find myself leaning back away from it, but also wanting to get closer, to inhale, to taste, to touch.

I hadnt realized my eyes had fluttered closed til I actually reopen them; im more than sure their pitch black now. Her heart begins pumping wildly and I cant help the grin that spreads across my face at all this welcomed knowledge.

If possible the flare in her cheeks deepens as she not-to-subtly tries to play off whatever thoughts she may be having.

Naughty thoughts im guessing.

But all too soon, our little game is put to an end as she decides to take action. She kindly switches seats with Angela(who just so happens to be sitting right next to me today) and stares full force at the side of my face.

I get the hint, hesitantly turning to give her the attention shes obviously seeking.

"So, mind telling me what the heck that was yesterday?" She whispers a bit harshly, leaning in to make sure no one else is listening.

Again, I'll indulge her for a bit.

"Adrenaline rush. Google it..." Is my cool reply.

Clearly shes not too happy with my reply since she practically barks in anger. "Bull-crap! Im not stupid..I want the truth..now!"

She feisty, I like feisty. But lets see how feisty she is up close. I lean in, completely invading her personal space and for a moment I forget just who is being tested here; the scent of her blush smacks me in the head and I inwardly curse myself for being stupid.

It takes me a minute to regain control of the situation, closing my eyes and inhaling a few times before leaning back.

"Oh really?" I begin seriously, opening my eyes and quirking an eyebrow. "Bella, I really dont think you're in any position to make demands. Besides, I cant give you answers that arent mine to give..."

She scrunches her face at how cryptic my words are before sighing in an exasperated tone.

"What does that even mean!"

"Its means, if you were smart...you'd forget about what happened.."

It means that if she was truly fucking smart, and wanted to stay alive, she'd leave it the fuck alone.

Put simply.

Her fist slams against the table unexpectantly, catching everyone including myself by surprise.

"Look, im so tired of you and your brother trying to tell me what's good for me!" My eyes flicker between her and the clock as she rants. Im begging for either the sky to fall or for the bell to ring. "What give you the right to-.."

I'll take the bell.

As soon as the hand its the two, im up and out the door.

*T.I.M*

Shes taken it upon herself to completely ignore our presence in the cafeteria. Doesnt even bother with a sideways glance.

It kind of hurts. It shouldnt but it does.

Ive been mulling over my options, her expressed thoughts and my own thoughts, and though I know I should stay away, something in me just wont allow me to.

Maybe its the fact that I cant and wish I could read her thoughts. Maybe its because like me, shes so stubborn. I dont know what exactly possesses me to take matter into my hands, but before I can protest, my feet are leading me straight towards her; regardless of Edwards ranting.

I approach nervously and cautiously, ignore the many stares im being sent. I thought she would of took notice to my sudden approach, but I thought wrong; I startle her and in the process she drops her apple.

Or would of if I hadnt have caught it with quick reflexes.

"Edible art?" I flash her what was meant to be a charming smile but more than likely looks awkward.

She regards me with a exasperated sigh.

"What do you want, Rosalie? According to Edward, we shouldnt be friends...not like you want to be anyways.."

I frown at her words and how put off she seems.

"Bella, its not like we dont want to be your friend. Its just...best that we dont. We're not good for you.."

Not good for you or your health.

"I swear your mood swings are giving me whiplash." She sighs with a shake of her head. "And what does that even mean? I mean like first, you tell me we shouldnt be friends but yet you're here...talking with me right now. What's the deal?"

Shes asking the wrong person.

"Its just...complicated. I feel like...I need to be here...near you." I confess, shaking my own head as I mirror one of her bad habits; nibbling my bottom lip. "I dont know...its just confusing.."

She agrees, eying me with those curious brown eyes.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what happened?"

Shes never gonna let this go.

"You're a very...persistent girl, ya know?" I chuckle humorously. "Id rather here your theories though..."

"My theories?"

"Yeah, im pretty sure you've come up with some type of explanation...?"

"Well, I dont know. I've considered super powers, radioactive spiders...all types of crazy things."

Wow, somebody's been reading alot of comics, I see.

_"Emmett would so love her."_

"Thats um...super hero stuff, right?" She nods her head. "What if...im not the hero? What if...im the bad guy?"

"You're not. I see what you're trying to do...keep me at a distance, but for what? You said so yourself, you want to be near me. And I...I want to be near you too."

A thrill of exciting shoots through me at her confession; my eyes instantly light up.

"We should...just hang out. You, me, Edward..."

I get a bit deflated at the mention of Edward, but whatever.

"Hang out?"

"Yeah, a couple friends of mine are going down to the beach later on. You guys should come.."

"What beach?"

"Um, La Push..I think." Forget about me being somewhat deflated, im completely deflated now; all signs of excitement have vanished out the window.

I tense slightly, looking at Edward, for I already knew what he was thinking.

_"You know we cant."_

Like me, he wants to go, but he and I both know its forbidden.

"Cant." I dont try to hide my disappointment as I gaze at her.

"Why not?"

_"Oh I dont know. Maybe because that beach is running with rabid dogs?"_

If she only knew.

"Its just a little...crowded. I'll see you around, Bella."

And this moment right here, being denied from a simple day of company with Bella, is the worst.

So far, I've got about three moment in this lifetime that made me truly despise being a vampire; and this just added the forth.

*T.I.M*

One good thing and bad thing about La Push is the effect it has on my visions. Ive tried continuous time to get some type of reading on Bella since she been down there(which I assume is roughly about two hours. I had seen her driving to the location around four and its almost six now.) but all my visions are distorted

They're blotchy and most of the time I dont see anything.

"Mutts," I mutter to myself, shifting off the bed. I blur down stairs in hopes of finding some kind of distraction, but no avail.

The life of a vampire is truly boring. Aside from school, which is pretty much the highlight of our day, theres really nothing else for us to do.

Yeah, sure, we all little hobbies that keep us entertained somewhat, but most of the time this is what we do, be bored.

Ive considered getting a job, but of course I was shot down by Carlisle, thanks to Eddy.

I swear that boy is the bain of my existence. Always gotta have his way, well fuck that! He can have his way now, but sooner or later, I, Rosalie Hale will be on top.

"Mentally dismembering Eddy again?" I register Emmetts voice. He's grinning widely as I blink a few time, clearly caught off guard.

"How'd you know?" I muse, mirroring the twitch in his lips.

"Well, aside from you just standing in the middle of the living room, with that death glare? I'll just simply say that I know you..."

That he does.

We gather round the couch, with him setting up the Xbox, and me patiently awaiting for the controller.

This is what we do, its always the same around this time. We lose ourselves in a challenging game of Street Fighter or Tekken.

But unlike my last few times, I wont lose. I refuse to be distracted.

"So, you figure the whole Bella thing out yet?"

This is also part of our routine. He brings up Bella on purpose im sure, just to throw off my game.

"Not exactly," I murmur, flicking through each fighter before settling on Brian Fury. "I think, im attracted to her, though you really wouldnt had thought since the girls fashion sense is completely shot..."

"Yeah," he laughs. "Id say it was quite unexpected, but I already knew it was coming. I think shes hot.." The last part truly catches me off guard, effectively ending this round and from the smug look on his face, I know he did it on purpose.

"Really, Emmett? Thats how we're playing?"

"Playing?" He feigns innocence. "Who playing? Im serious. She has that innocent, good girl thing working for her. Shes kind and funny from what I hear, which is a plus. I like her cause shes different...awkwardly sexy..."

His words are getting to me, not so much in the since that they anger me, but more so that I find it amusing.

"Awkwardly sexy, huh?" He grins over his shoulder at me, wiggling his brows suggestively.

"Yup and shes a virgin, which is a major turn on! If you dont claim that, I will!"

Alright, now he's just crossing the line.

"Emmett!" Game forgotten, I take off after the fleeing vampire as he blurs out the back door.

"You are so dead when I catch you!"

He giggles, like a school girl giggle before hollering something over his shoulder.

"_If_ you catch me _sweetie-bunz_!"

*T.I.M*

"Esme, how did you know that you were in love with Carlisle?" I finally say after hours of mulling over my own thoughts of the matter.

She looks up from the latest issue of In Home Gardening and eyes me strangely; its one of those knowing mother looks.

"Well, in all honesty I didnt at first. I was much like you in the beginning. Sad and hurt from my past. I didnt understand why I was given this life and I hated it.."

Her face reflects her words. She looks pained as she looks back on what she knows as her past.

"When I attempted to kill myself before this, I meant it. I wanted to die...I didnt want life and I surely didnt want this one. The pain, the heartache and yearning for a child, a child I never had the chance to smother was far too much. Even in death, it never goes away. Something we both know you're familiar with..."

I turn away abruptly, knowing full well what pain shes referring to. Having that ripped away, never having the chance to be a mother is something I know all to well indeed.

"Carlisle wanted me to be something to him. A mate, lover, a friend, but sometimes things dont work out the first time around. I wasnt ready to be that. But he was patient and so very kind...and I absolutely despised him." She chuckles and as I read into her thoughts I see just how much she did indeed despise him.

"In all honesty it was Edward that truly made me open up to Carlisle. See him for the man I know today, a loving father. I hadnt met Edward until maybe my second year of being a vampire. Carlisle and him were at odds for awhile about my potential presence. We are very territorial creatures im afraid.."

Territorial is an understatement.

"When he decided to keep me, to save me, I dont think he thought it all the way through. An unmated female among two male vampires? You do the math; thats just searching for disaster. He found Edward to be a threat. So of course they came to an understanding. Edward left the place he had known as home for two years. The first year was as you know my new born state, where everything was just chaotic. Im not sure how many times I tried to rip Carlisle in two, but im very grateful that he left. Things would of been very unpleasant."

"So what happened when Edward returned?"

"By that time I was fairly in control. I had lost most of my ferocity and slowly began willing myself to except my fate. I dont know what happened exactly, but as soon as I saw Edward, my precious little boy, all my anger just vanished. I had the one thing I yearned for; a child to love and care for. Granted, he was technically a youngman by human standards and a little older than me mentally in reference to vampires. But, he's still my little Edward. The son I was denied in my human life."

"And Carlisle, what did he make of his return?"

"Carlisle was still a bit tense about it since he hadnt made me his, so to speak, but he endure it. I think he was quite grateful actually. Edwards return was the thing that brought us together. I noticed how wise he was, how caring and sweet he was to our boy and I love it. So love isnt always instant. You never really know what it is, or where to find it and sometimes it could be right there in your face...just need to wipe the sleep out of your eyes to fully recognize it. So to speak anyway..."

"So in other words. Love isnt always clear?"

"Exactly. Does that help you at all?"

Not really.

"Yeah, I guess.."

"Is this about that Bella girl?" She ponders after a slight pause. I dont say anything though, there really is no need.

She knows me so well.

"Fear is a funny thing, Lilly. Sometimes its the fear thats blinding you. That makes love so unclear. But I find that even the smallest bit of courage can out way the biggest fears. Its just up to that person to find that courage..."

"So im guessing your fully on board with this too then? Despite all the consequences?"

"Rosalie," she begins in that motherly voice; the one that makes you want to curl into her and be smothered by her love. "Damn the consequences. If this girl, Bella, is what you or your brother yearns for, then I'd gladly risk everything just for your happiness. Love is a once and a lifetime thing, so embrace it..."

My lip trembles slightly and at this moment I've never wanted to cry more. This women, Esme is such a rare soul. It amazes how selfless and loving she is.

It makes me choke.

She smiles kindly at my attempt to keep my composure and then smothers me in her arms.

"You truly are a beautiful soul, Lilly."


	13. Claim

She going to go get her answer to today, the vision I had is uneeded to confirm my suspicions.

She and a few of her friends are going to Port Angelas, dress shopping.

Of course she made her thoughts quite clear on the whole prom fiasco the other day when she shot down Mike Newton.

I thought it was rather amusing really, him assuming he has the slightest chance with Bella.

Get real Newton.

Shopping in general doesnt really seem to be her favorite thing to do in general; her lack in fashion has already confirmed this.

I dont find it too unappealing, shopping and her taste in fashion, but Alice however?

Yeah, shes already making plans to burn the poor girls wardrobe and she hasn't even officially spoken to her.

Serious issues.

Theres a small gasp from the said girl, letting me know shes having a vision. As always, im being sucked in along for the ride and what greets me makes my blood boil.

Those sick bastards; they were going to rape Bella! Every scream, sadistic laugh, thrust and plea makes me shiver in rage.

I know this scene all too well, and clearly these little shits dont know who the fuck their messing with.

Coming to, I take a drastic measures. Im not one to call on Edward for anything, and though Id love to be the one to save her, thats highly unlikely; by the time I get there it'll be too late. Edward however, is already out and about, or in other words already somewhat stalking her.

Fucking weirdo.

I ring him up, frantically telling him what I've seen and breathe a sigh of relief when he abruptly hangs up.

I should be glad that its him and not me, because if I had of went and they'd already did the unthinkable, the streets would run cold with blood. If she didnt know what we were then, shed for sure know what we are after that.

I dont take that shit lightly.

About twenty minutes after my first vision, I got another vision of Edward and Bella, letting me know that everything was okay.

Letting that knowledge sink in, I began to sulk. I hate the thought of Edward being alone with Bella.

Call it whatever you want to call it, but just the thought makes me want to scream.

"Share, Rosalie.." I hear my mother call from downstairs.

She knows me so well.

"Better not try anything with her," I mutter to myself in response.

I hear both Jasper and Emmett snort at that idea.

"Yeah right," is Emmetts response. "Everybody knows he to much of a prude to even let the idea cross his mind. That boy is the true definition of an a hundred year old virgin.."

I cackle at that, its the only thing I can do since its truth.

"True that." Alice chimes in, giggling.

"Children, behave. Dont make fun of my little boy. He's a gentleman.."

"More like a pussy.."

"Rosalie!"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry mother..."

I wave her off and decide to go bother Jasper. Im suddendly in the mood for a little game of Chess.

This goes on for a couple hours, until Eddy comes in on his little high horse. Smirking and practically dancing on his toes; the little fucker purposely opens up his mind, letting me see what took place.

I snort of course; the poor boy is sitting on cloud nine just because they talked.

He is a pussy.

At least I would of tried to make some type of move on her.

"Bella says Hello," he growls under his breath at my previous thoughts. I look up from my spot on the couch lazily and grin at him.

"I know," is my own smug little reply which has him glaring.

"So, Eddy. Get a goodnight kiss?" Emmett inquires with that big boy grin of his. He glances my way and we both share a pointed look at Edwards disgruntled face.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Ya know, not everyone is out to get something. Especially considering its our first real date."

"Yup, thats a definite no." I high five Emmett as Edward fleets to his room.

"Emmett! Rosalie! Dont make me come down there.." We both flinch at our mothers warning, deciding its best not to tick her off, we settling ourselves back towards the screen.

Still doesnt stop us from laughing though.

*T.I.M*

She'd figured it out sometimes during the night. I know this much from the determined look on her face as we pull into the lot.

Usually we're the first to arrive, not the other way around, so that also helped to confirm my suspicions.

Shes leaning up against her truck, an overwhelming amount of determination written on her face as she regards us. Her eyes settling on me, softening slightly before meeting Edwards gaze.

I already know what's coming next.

"This is your moment. Try not to fuck it up for all of our sakes, yeah?"

I dont bother waiting for a response, just lazily make my way towards the school.

Even as I sit in class, I can clearly make out what's happening in the woods a few miles away.

"Say it, out loud. I want to hear you say it, Bella..."

"Vampires.."

"Are you afraid?"

"No."

I literally want to smack myself. This chick has no sense of self preservation. She should be afraid, she should be terrified and yet she isnt?

_"You really are a strange girl, Isabella Swan..."_

I block out the rest of his dramatics and brood to myself. This is the second time he's had her all to himself and its killing my insides.

I briefly wonder if this is what Esme was talking about. Two vampires being territorial, fighting to take claim.

I can only imagine how Bella feels, being caught in the middle.

One things for sure, I think I'ved finally come to terms with my feeling for the said girl.

The jealousy, the need to protect, the fact that my every thought is of her...

_"Rosalie, "_ I shake my head. _"You've falling so hard and you didnt even realize it. Theres no getting up from this one..."_

The bell rings, signaling for our five minute break between classes. Alice is at my locker, practically bouncing on her toes; her thoughts are pretty clear.

_"Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella!"_

"Easy there, Tink. Just might have a brain aneurism if you keep that up."

"Ugh, I know right? I just cant help it! Everythings falling into place..."

"Yeah, exciting, right?" I say a bit to drearily.

"Hey, what's the matter, Rosy?"

"Well," I begin with a sigh. "I think... im in love with her.."

She squeals non to softly, gaining a few stares but calms down as soon as she sees the frown on my face.

"So what's the problem? You should be ecstatic about this!"

"Yeah, I suppose. But...what if she doesnt feel the same way?"

"Pssh! Thats what your worried about?"

"Well yeah.."

"Rose," she hits me with the "really, Rose?" look. "Surely you've notice how often shes eye banging you.."

I raise an eyebrow at her choice of words and try not to laugh.

"Seriously, she stares at you all the time! Especially when you're trying to ignore her."

"So she stares? That doesnt tell me anything. Everybody stares.."

"Correction. Everybody glances at you, they dont stare. You're intimidating, remember?"

"Whatever. Thats still nothing to go by..."

"Trust me, Rose. She may not be head over heels, at least not yet anyway, but she likes you. She wouldnt blush so much around you if she didnt..."

"I guess.."

"But theres only one way to find out for sure.."

I quirk an eyebrow.

"Go see her. You dont have to tell her how you feel right off the back, but go get a feel for her feelings. You and Jasper are experts at that.." She adds the last bit with a smile as the said man comes strolling down the hall towards us.

"Okay, Jazz?" Alice asks, noting the strained look on his face.

"Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed.."

"Are you thirsty?"

"No, its not so much in that sense. Its just too many emotions at once.."

We nod our head in understanding. Ive somewhat gotten use to his abilities, kind of like second nature to me. Im not in full control of them, but at the same time, I dont suffer as much as Edward, Alice or Jasper would.

Edward and Alice have somewhat manage to control their powers, whereas Jasper always suffers. Influencing isnt so much the problem, its the emotions that are inflicted on him constantly.

He has his good days and bad; apparently this is a bad day.

"You want to get out here?" I gaze at them both.

"I dont think Esme would approve. We already missed a few days already..."

"Who says she'll find out?" I smirk as they both raise their eyebrows.

"Why, Rosalie...are you trying to get us to play hookie?"

Im full on grinning now.

"We can go shopping?"

"Im in!"

Jasper and I cant help but shake our head at her eagerness. Thats always the deal breaker.

*T.I.M*

Im a bit nervous about seeing Bella, pacing the room, trying to figure out what to say to the girl.

"You seem a bit...tense." Alice says nonchalantly as she rummaging through her closet. "You going to go see her or no?"

"Yeah, I am. I just dont know what to say..."

"Dont think. Jus-.."

Shes immediately cut off by a vision, bringing me with her.

Its Bella and myself; my face inhaling the skin of her neck.

Near her pulse point.

Life stream.

She looks a bit scared and I curse myself for being so damn careless.

Theres only one way this could end. With me killing Bella of course.

Fortunately my panic is short lived when I see my mouth and tongue glide against her skin.

We're suddenly pulled out the vision and I cant help but grin in satisfaction.

"Wow, Rose. That was-.."

"-Hot?" She nods her head with a small smile playing on her lips. "Yeah, I definitely have to make that happen."

_"Told you she liked you." _She says mentally. "And you might want to hurry up with that; Edward said he was going over there after he goes hunting."

"Shit! I totally forgot about him. Did he leave yet?"

"Nope. He's in Carlisle study."

"You dont...think he heard my thoughts, right?"

"Mmm, I doubt it. If he had heard, he'd be grilling you right now dontcha think?"

True.

"Alright, I guess im off then."

"Well wait! Dont you think you should go hunting too?" She whisper yells.

"Dont worry. Ive got it covered. I'll pick up a squirrel or something; fast food, if you will?" I smirk at the last statement and glide out the window.

As I blur past trees, I briefly wonder how fast my heart would be pounding if I were human.

_"Like battle drum."_

As promised, I pick up a small meal, a Raccoon, on my way to the Swans' residence.

Her voice washes over me as I scale her house and silently watch her from my space on her ledge.

Her mother mutters something about having sex and Bella groans, making me chuckle under my breath.

Bella's head whips towards me and lets out a surprised yelp, before muttering rushed words through the phone.

"Okay, what the heck are you doing here? And through my window at that..."

Theres a stern look on her face, which only makes me that much more giddy.

"I wanted to see you." I say simply, rocking back on my heels and cocking my head to the side. She seems surprised by my forwardness; blushing, though from what im not too sure.

Her eyes flicker towards the spot between my legs, where my skirt has ridden up, only adding to the flare in her cheeks.

I smirk.

_"Somebody's having naughty thoughts.."_

"Do you... always visit people in their windows at twelve in the morning?" She manages after ripping her eyes away from my crotch.

"No," I shift off the window seal and walk towards, almost forgetting that my shirt is loose, almost. "Just you.." The curl in my lips gets bigger as she fully takes in my appearance.

_"If she gets any redder she just may combust.."_

"So, you finally figured it out?" I take purchase beside her on the bed, staring her straight in the eye.

"Yes," I take note to the rise and fall of her chest. "I..did."

"And," I shift bit closer now, so that one of my arms are on either side of her legs, fairly close to her hips; the other takes refuge close to her pillow, where her supported arm is resting. "Are you...afraid?"

Of course she not afraid.

"N-no. Im not afraid. I know you wont hurt me.."

I could though. If I really wanted to.

"Are you sure about that?" At the moment, im so sure which of us is in control here, which of us should be afraid.

"Yes...im sure." Leaning in and drifting back, I let my eyes roam over her. I start at her face, working my way from her lips and down to her neck, where I linger, eyes flashing dangerously for a second.

Its flowing so rapidly, the blood. I can hear it humming under her skin.

Hesitantly, I move onward. Moving down her neck to her clavicle and stopping right at her chest.

They're small, probably no more than a B-cup, a huge contrast to my ample chest.

_"At least they'd fit in my hand.."_

A rush of venom fills my mouth at the thought, but I push it back down with a heavy gulp.

She watches me, my eyes, as they settle back to her lips, staring intently and wondering just how good they may feel against my own.

I frown a bit when she turns away, realizing I must of been staring a little too hard.

_"That wont do."_

"Bella." Im surprised myself at how soft it comes out; not too soft of course since she apparently heard me.

"You're hearts beating so fast.." I tilt my head a bit, letting its constant thrumming feel my ears. Its so thrilling, fascinating how the simplest things make the heart beat so fast.

"I know," she begins with a blush. "Its because im nervous.." She regards me shyly before letting her gaze drift towards her hands.

"Im nervous too." That gets her attention. She gives me this strange look; a cross between confusion and disbelief.

"You're...nervous?" I grin and shake my head at how utterly shocked she looks.

"You always make me nervous, Bella." She blinks a few time as that blush makes its way up her neck, trying to figure out yet more than likely knowing just where this is headed.

"W-why?"

"Because..I..I like you. And...I always want to.." My eyes flicker towards her lips, where I debate my next move. "I want...I want try something, Bella. Will you...let me?"

"Um..o-okay."

"Relax...dont move." I say, leaning in oh so slowly. Her flutters and I take note of the fact that shes holding her breath. She lets it go as my lips ghost across her pulse, breathing her in deeply.

_"It would be so easy."_

"Bella, you have no ideas what you're doing to me. You smell," I inhale deeply, both the scent of her blood and the scent between her legs.

I would be a fool not to moan.

"So good.."

"You smell good too, Rose."

Ive already seen it coming, though actually having it play out, with my tongue licking and sucking at her neck, is a whole different experience.

Ive never felt so alive in my life. The taste, the feeling of her against me, and the smell is just too much. My lips find her again in a light kiss that quickly turns into something else.

Before I know it, im wedge between her legs, forcing her against the bed and braces myself against her head board.

I want to make her mine. Mark her on this bed, make her scream so loud, Edward would more than likely hear and realize just who she belongs to. The hand playing against the skin of her thighs tells me to, tells me to claim her but I wont.

Shes beyond wet, I can pretty much taste her in the air and that knowledge makes my ego flare.

"Do you hate the cold now, Bella?" I tease against her lips, cupping the soft flesh of her bottom. She manages a stuttered no at my arrogant reply, which only makes me smile.

Unfortunately, all good things come to an end. Im engulfed by a vision; Edwards going to be here soon, effectively ending my alone time with Bella.

I curse him as I come to, detangling myself as Bella looks at me very much confused.

"I have to go.." I move to stand, but she catches my arm.

"Well wait! I dont understand." She gives my arm a squeeze before looking at me pleasingly. "Please stay..?"

_"God those eyes."_

I sigh, memorizing this moment, her appearance for later reference. Her face and body is completely flushed, hair messy, and she slightly panting.

She looks ravenous, wild, tempting.

I want her.

"As much as I would love to, and believe me I would.. I cant." I regard with my own little sad pleading eyes. "Edwards going to be here in a little while and-.."

"-Wait, how do you know that?"

"I'll...explain later. But right now you need to shower...he'll be able to smell me all over you...among other things." I regard her crotch with a smirk.

"Oh my gosh!" I laugh at her squeal, finding it quite cute, adding to her appeal.

"No need to be embarrassed. Its actually quite flattering...and you smell mouthwatering by the way."

She whines at this, carelessly throwing a book at me, which I catch effortlessly. Deciding to put her out of her misery, I retreat out her window and inwardly chuckle at her small reply.

**End flashback**


	14. In My World

To say that im nervous is the biggest understatement of the century; im basically on the verge of crapping my pants.

It not the fact that im going to be in a house full of vampires, because I can handle that; im more scared of the idea of them not liking me.

I let that thought run through my head and find that the directions given to me, leads me to a thick set of woods. As my car travels down the somewhat hidden pathway, a large house comes into view.

Its beautiful, beyond beautiful really. There seems to be an unlimited amount of large windows, to which you can basically see everything in the house. They have a large garage, and I can only imagine how many of Rosalie's "babies" occupy the space.

Im actually quite stunned really. Granted, I kind of figured they had money, since their "father" is a doctor, but this is crazy!

I get out of my truck in a daze, completey awestruck and somehow manage to make it to the door without tripping.

As soon as I put my fist to the door, it immediately opens, revealing a small ballerina like girl. I recognize her as Alice, the somewhat eccentric one of the bunch, as Rosalie informed me.

"Uh, hey. You must be Ali-.." She cuts me, taking me by suprise as she throws herself at me and squeezes rather tightly.

"Bella! Im so glad you're finally here!" Thankfully she pulls back when she notices my lack of air intake."Im Alice! But you probably already knew that."

I regard her with a shy, awkward smile, blushing profusely as I nod my head.

"Oh wow, Edward and Rosalie were right. You do smell good!" Theres a flare in her nostrils as she flashes me a charming smile, just about killing me in the inside.

Im pretty sure my face is on fire right now.

"Really, Alice? Dont you think that a little inappropriate?" I jump slightly as Edwards voice registers. "Sorry, Bella. Alice can be a bit...overwhelming sometimes." He flashes me that crooked smile, making my heart flutter.

Alice however pouts at his statement.

"Oh, Eddy! She doesnt mind." That mega watt smile is back and shes practically bouncing on her heels. "Come on, Bella. Everyone wants to meet you!" Before I can say anything, shes pulling me into the house. I look towards Edward pleadingly, but he only regards me with a shrug and apologetic smile.

"Okay so, I figured since we're going to be best friends," I lift an eyebrow at that. "We can make a date to go shopping!"

Ugh, no thank you.

"Shopping?" I repeat with a look of distaste.

"Oh yes, Bella. Shopping is my hobby! Its what I live for and we're definitely going to have to do something about that wardrobe of yours.."

"Alice, shopping..isnt really my thi-.." I get a little tongue tide as my eyes take in three beautiful vampires. Two of them I recognize as Emmett and Carlisle; the other I assume is their mother. All three are cooking, that is until I seem to catch their attention.

"Ohhhh! You must be Bella!" The said women says excitedly, embracing me in a hug. "Im Mrs. Cullen. The women of the house, but you can call me Esme."

"Its uh..very nice to meet you, Esme." I blink a few times, willing my blush to reside, but its to no avail.

"Hello, Isabella." Carlisle nods as he takes his side by Esme. It truly is amazing just how breathtaking this family is.

"Hello, Dr. Cullen."

He laughs at this, clearly amused at how formal im being.

"Please, Bella. Call me Carlisle." He kisses my hand gently, and im more than sure they can all hear my heart pumping on overdrive. "I take it that the bump on your head is better?"

"Oh yes. Its alot better now, thank you."

"Alright, alright! Enough with the pleasantries!" Emmett booms, shoving everyone out the way to get to me. With a big dimpled grin he envelopes me into a bear hug, before gently putting me down

"Im Emmett! But you can call me Emm or...master." The last part is said with a shrug and an even wider grin as he takes in my questioning look.

"Ya know, since I own at everything I do? Especially video games!" Is his boastful reply, a smug look etched across his face.

He truly is proud of himself.

With an unknown source of confidence, I poke him in the shoulder with my own little smug grin and reply,"sorry Emmett. But the only name you'll ever catch me calling you is slave. Cause when it comes to video games, I _own."_

If its even possible, his grin just got even wider.

"Ya know what, B?" My brows shoot up at his nickname. "I like you already. And I've got a good feeling that this is a start to a lovely friendship."

"Oh no you dont, Emmett! Bella's my bestfriend and you cant have her!" Alice gives him a stern look with her hands on her hips. I watch in amusement as they go back and forth about who'll be my bestfriend; I jump slightly when Edward grasps my arm.

"Okayyyy. If we're all done with the awkwardness. Then I guess i'll go show Bella around the house." With that said, he ushers us off.

"Hey! Dont forget, Bella. I have to show you my closet!" I hear her yell.

"Yeah, and we have to play video games too!"

"Oh hush, you too!" Esmes says, silencing the two. "Bella? Dinner will be done around six!"

"Um, okay!" I yell back as Edward leads me to a dimly lit room; a piano sits in the middle and I noticed the only room that has curtains.

"This is where I come to think."

"Can you play it?"

His only reply is that crooked smirk, which ive grown to love on both of my vampires, and then settles himself at the piano.

For the next thirty minutes or so, I watch him play; his hands move against each key fluidly and precise.

After our piano time, he shows me around the rest of the house. Mainly the living room, dinning room, basement, where I made a crack about the lack of coffins, and then garage. As I guessed, there were alot of cars that occupied the space, to which he informs are Rosalies.

As we climb the stairs to get to his room, I take notice to the graduation caps that align the wall; he says its some kind of inside joke he and his family got going on.

I find it kind of sad really. Repeating the same routine over and over.

We dont stay in his room too long, on account of the fact that Alice steals me away from him. I officially meet Jasper on our way to her room. He awkwardly introduces himself and informs me that he just went hunting.

Absolutely not awkward at all right?

After spending an hour with Alice, who tries explaining the difference between Prada and Gucci, Emmett swoops in and scoops me up for a few rounds of Modern Warfare, Halo and Street Fighter. And like I said before, I owned. I beat him about twenty times in Street Fighter before he calls it quits and acknowledges me as Master.

It finally dawns on me that I have yet to see Rosalie at all today. Which is a bit weird since she did invite me over.

Alice informs me that she probably hunting or in her room, just before Edward takes off for his own hunt.

I use this time to roam about. I've pretty much seen the whole house except for Carlisle and Esme's room, and of course Rosalie's, which im currently standing in front of.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door and im immediately hit with the scent of Rosalie.

I dont even know how to describe just how good she smells; its like a mixture of lilac with a hint of lavender and vanilla.

Inhaling it makes you get dizzy, causes a euphoric feeling to stir within you. Its addictive; all you want to do is close your eyes and inhale.

Im so out of it, I dont even hear or feel when the window becomes ajar.

I squeal however, when cool hands wrap around my waist and cool lips press behind my ear as she leans into me.

"Do you like it?"

Do I like what? Her hands on my waist? lips on my skin? Or am I missing something? I cant help but think theres a double meaning behind her words.

"Do I...like what?" I manage with a ragged breath, meeting her golden eyes in an intense stare.

She watches me, watches my reaction as her hands descend lower and then under my shirt where she draws lazy patterns.

I shiver at the way her eyes seem to darken and how our temperature contrast.

The coolness is unpleasant, just takes a minute to get used to.

Its a challenge trying to keep my gaze to her eyes, since she always stares so intently, as if my eyes hold hidden secrets; I look away of course, finding her lips to be just as interesting.

Their full, the bottom lip more plump then the top, and red like the petals on the Rose. Or a Cherry Blossom.

Shes wear lipstick of course. The usual purple(bruise) like color of her lips seem so much more eccentric with this red.

Either way, their still kissable. Which I wouldnt mind doing right now.

I bite my lip at the thought, causing a quirk in the corner of her lip; using her index finger, she gently lift my chin, forcing my eyes to meet her once again.

"My room, Bella. Do you like my room?" I've been caught staring and more than likely thinking dirty thoughts, which only amuses her further.

I curse my skin for being so pale, but so red at the moment.

"Oh, um..yeah. Its nice, though I havent really looked around properly."

"Yes," she chuckles," I gathered as much. Please," she ushers me with her hands. "Be my guest."

I do as im told, casually looking about when for some reason my eyes immediately land on her massive bed.

"Soooo. This is where the magic happens?" I do my best not to blush but the look shes giving me lets me know that I've failed.

"If by 'magic', you mean sleep? Then yes, I suppose that would be the case if we could indeed sleep."

"Wait, could? You mean...you guys dont sleep, like..ever?"

"Nope. Afraid not."

"Wow, thats...weird. Guess that explains the lack of coffins in the basement," I muse humorously. "Well, if you dont sleep, then what do you do all day?"

"Thats a good question," she finally begins after pursing her lips. "Besides be bored? I usually hunt, read, play with Emm, listen or play music...or think about you."

I turn my head away shyly at the last statement and take in the massive sound system aligning the wall, just above her music shelf.

I begin flipping through her collection, taking note of all the classics; Wolfgang, Mozart, Bach, Haydn, and the list goes on.

Pushing play, the soft sounds of Claude Debussy begin to fill my ears.

"Its uh..Clair de Lune. One of my favorites." She eyes me intently and slowly begins stalking forward.

"Yeah, mine too. Claude Debussy is great. No match for Beethoven of course.." I reply with a look of curiosity and a bit of hesitance as she stops in front of me.

"Wow, you're just full of suprises." I take notice to that certain glint in her eye and the way her voice seems to just naturally ooze sex. "Never took you for the classical type." Its a whisper, a whisper that makes my heart beat as her hand find purchase around my waist again.

"Yeah, well..theres alot you dont know about me." She smirks at this, taking my free hand into hers and pulling our bodies together. Theres no room spared as she attempts to get me to dance, and the thought makes my breath hitch.

"Well why dont you enlighten me?" Her lips graze my neck as she whispers this sinfully, causing an unfamiliar tightening in my stomach. She begins to sway us in to a light rhythm, but stops when my body doesnt respond.

"What's wrong?" She pulls back and regards me with a questionable eyebrow.

"Well, one thing you should know about me is that I dont dance..ever." Its stated matter-of-factly; however she doesnt seem the slightest bit perturbed by my smugness.

"Hmm," her lips purse for a second before she regards me with a teasing smirk. "Ya know, I could just make you."

I snort, none too lady like too.

"Im not scared of you," I say in that same tone as before; that smirk she was wearing is now a wide grin.

"Oh, you really shouldnt have said that." Before I can even think to question her, im being lifted onto her back and flying out the window, only to land on a nearby tree.

"You better hold on tight, my little spider monkey."(**Lol, alright no racism, and I mean that in every sense, but I almost made the mistake of putting porch monkey, **_**almost**_**. Thats what happens when you watch Clerks while writing smh)** I giggle in response, clutching on to her for dear life as she rapidly begins to ascend the tree.

She hops from tree to tree, much like a monkey, making everything look like a blur.

We come to a stop at a large treetop, one that over looks the whole area and im just blown away.

"This is...unreal. Stuff like this just doesnt exist, Rose."

"Well, it does in my world.


	15. Oh My What a Nght!

Im not sure how long we sit up here, in this tree overlooking Forks, but all too soon, Esme's calling for Bella to eat.

I truly dislike the fact that human must eat, it cuts our quality time short.

We make our way back, laughing and teasing each other before taking notice to the massive meal that awaits the unsuspecting human.

"Its a bit much, dont you think?"

Its beyond a bit much, you can hardly see the middle of the table.

"Yes, im terribly sorry, Bella. Seems like we over did it. We dont have humans over often so I got a little excited im afraid."

"Oh, no, no!" Bella begins, and I already know shes going to reassure her that its fine, when obviously its not. "Its fine, Esme. I'll just take whatever I can home. Charlie will eat it for a few days..."

Told ya.

We all take a seat at the table, pretending to eat ourselves so Bella wont feel uncomfortable; im pretty sure with the way shes blushing she can tell all eyes are still on her.

Why we find this so damn fascinating is beyond me, but it is. I find myself smiling as she slurps her pasta, occasionally getting some on her face.

"So Bella, how are you liking Forks so far?" Esme wonders as she stares at the girl intently.

"Well, to be honest, I didnt at first. Being the new kid was a bit overwhelming. But now? I dont know...Its growing on me. I like it." I dont miss the fact that she stares right at me while saying this, and neither does Edward; he clears his throat obnoxiously.

"Im curious. I know you guys drink animal blood, but have you ever tried eating human food?"

"Oh, have I got a story for you, Bella!" Emmett roars excitedly. "So we're at lunch right? Playing a little game of truth of dare to pass the time.." I inwardly groan, knowing full well where this is headed. "We dared Rose to either kiss Mike Newton or eat some of the school Spaghetti. Both ideas were rather repulsive if you ask me..."

I make a face at him, rolling my eyes as Bella eagerly listens.

"So what happened?" She asks, giving me apologetic smile.

"Well clearly she wasnt going to kiss Mike Newton, I mean who would?"

"-Jessica Stanley." Alice chirps from the other side of the table.

We, as in Bella, Alice, Edward, Jasper, Emmett and myself, all roll our eyes and somewhat snicker at how right she is.

"Put simply. Our precious Rose over here," Emmett points towards me," was barfing up venom for like two days after that!" He and Alice share a hi-five and I scowl at their playful banter.

"Thanks alot, guys. Its nice to know that my family enjoys smiling upon my misfortune." Is my sarcastic reply. "That was one of the worst days of my life!"

"What's venom?" Bella curiosity gets the better of her, and Id be lying if I said I didnt see it coming.

"Well, Bella. Venom is what our body produces. Kind of like how your body produces blood?" She makes a "oh" face as Carlisle explains. "We can use it to paralyze our prey, if its used in lower doses. To kill our prey and or to 'make' someone. Each process has its own certain amount of dosage, I guess you could say."

"To make?" Is the only thing she pretty much gathered from that explanation.

"Yes, to make. Everybody has their own certain methods, but the actual process of making someone is a bit complicated. And I hardly think this is an appropriate time to discuss it." He says as he takes notices to my off putting look.

I already know this whole conversation just peeked her curiosity and theres a chance she'll bring it up again; that look of deep concentration on her face confirms it.

*T.I.M*

Bella decides to spend more time with Eddy after dinner, so I've been occupying my time by staying in my room, completely blocking off Edward; my mind focuses on the music streaming and Carlisle words.

Yes, I dont need to look into the future to see that Bella wants to be changed, it was written all over her face at dinner.

Her reasoning? Its beyond me and quite frankly I dont want to know. Changing is a sore subject for me, on account of I didnt have a choice in the matter.

The pain is beyond anything imaginable, something I wouldnt wish on anyone. Not to mention the things you give up, just for the sake of being a blood thirsty beast for your entire existence.

The loneness, the darkness and bloodlust you feel is not a life I want for her. She'd asked Edward no doubt, and he'd deny her; so that leaves me as her only option.

Well aside from Alice that is, but Alice wouldnt do it. She knows better.

Id deny her, just as Edward would, but we all know just how stubborn and persistent Bella can be. So the question is, if I gave into her request, and thats a big if, would I be able to stop myself from draining her?

Thus far, I've been very tolerate and havent had a single drop of human blood in this life. But how would I fair if I was truly being tempted by Bella?

The sound of a nervous heart beat breaks me out of my thoughts.

"Come in, Bella." Theres a deep, yet nervous intake of air before her head pokes through the door. She smiles nervously before letting herself in and leans against the door.

The room falls silent, increasingly awkward as she stands there, looking everywhere but at me.

"So where's Edward?" I begin after growing tired of the awkwardness. "Hasn't even been an hour and you've grown tired of him already?" I tease with an amused smile.

"I really dont know where he went," she shrugs."Alice came in and told Edward she needed help with something. She gave me a wink and mouth 'Rosalie', so I came here."

I debate this information for a minute and decide that I would have to thank Alice later.

"Well, would you like to lay with me? This bed is awfully cold and lonely without my favorite human." I pat the bed and take utter delight in the way her cheeks always seem to flare whenever im around; it makes my mouth water instantly.

Without another word she gently lays on the bed and shuffles close. I can feel the heat radiating off her from here, but its not enough. I close the slight distance between us by opening my arms, silently asking for permission to embrace her.

She hesitates for a moment but complies and snuggles into me. She shivers slightly before fully relaxing and I unconsciously start tracing invisible patterns on the exposed skin of her waist.

Its impossibly smooth and the gesture causes goosebumps to rise just as she shivers.

"Im sorry. Is this uncomfortable?" I immediately stop my ministrations and move my hand, but she stops me.

"No. Its fine. Its actually kind of soothing. I like it." She stares at me deeply and for a moment I get lost.

I completely forget what we're talking about. She clears her throat with that blush still apparent and I blink a few times, trying to gather my barings.

We fall into idle conversation after awhile; talking about everything and nothing.

Id get littlr inklings, small visions of her asking me to kiss her. But each time Id think she'd ask, she'd change her mind. After about the third time, I decide to take matter into my own hands.

Shes muttering on about Jessica and Mike, a subject I really dont care for, when all of a sudden my lips claim hers.

She squeals as I silence her, but soon wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. In return, I shift so that im on top of her, comfortably, and begin sucking at her lips.

Its starts off fairly innocent, but then does a complete three-sixty; im wedged between her legs, kissing my way down her neck and purring as she threads her hands through my hair.

Her hearts going on overdrive and its driving me mad, buts its nothing compared to the enticing smell emanating from between her thighs.

I want her...in every possible way.

My mouth roams lower towards the spot where her shirt has ridden up, and I start retracing those patterns from before with my tongue.

Everything in my logic, in my head is telling me to stop, but the noises shes making and the smell is telling me otherwise.

Im so entralled in what im doing that I dont hear the door open.

"Oh my!" Esme squeals unexpectantly. Bella lets out her own little squeal and hides away in embarrassment as im being thrown off the bed.

My only reaction is to blink in order to figure out how this happened; I rarely get caught off guard.

"Im sorry, dear. But I was looking for Bella. Her cell phone was ringing and obviously she wasnt in Edwards room, So yeah!" Im more than sure she notices the glare on my face. Luckily she chooses to make a hasty retreat, throwing the phone on the bed and abruptly leaving.

Quite honestly shes lucky I didnt pounce. Vampires are very territorial as Ive mentioned so many times before.

"Oh...my...god." Bella murmurs from under the covers and Im more than sure shes as red as a fire truck right now. "Im sorry. I didnt mean to make you fall. That was just...so embarrassing. But are you okay?"

"Im fine, Bella." I shake my head, clearly confused as to why shes apologizing. "But im the one who should be apologizing. That shouldnt have happened..."

She opens her mouth to protest, tell me im wrong, but her phone begins to ring.

"Hello?" She says in a frustrated sigh. "Oh hey, Dad. Yeah, im on my way now." Theres a frown working its way onto her lips. "Okay. Yeah, I'll see you in a bit."

"Gotta go, huh?"

"Yeah. Charlie's got work in a few so he'd like it if I came home. Been really on edge since those attacks."

I nod my head solemnly and shift to my feet.

I silently walk Bella to the door after she gives her farewells to the family.

"Are you mad at me? You seem...different now. Like..distant.."

"Im not mad at you, Bella." I say, leaning against the door frame. "Im just a bit...frustrated with myself. If Esme hadnt of come in...I dont think I would of stopped."

"I didnt want you to," she mumbles shyly, peeking up at me through her lashes.

I clench my fist at the thought of taking her essence, her innocence.

"I dont think you fully understand what your saying. That...cannot happen again. At least not til you've made a decision."

I may come off as a bitch sometimes, but I do actually care for Edward and would never intentionally hurt him like that.

"I..I get it." I hate the way her face falls, how sad she looks. Its makes me want to kiss those pouty lips until shes smiling endlessly.

"Will you...come over later though?" I know exactly what she wants, despite my earlier words; Shes fiddling with her hands and biting her lip nervously.

I smile at this, its the only thing I can do besides shake my head.

"I dont uh...think thats such a good idea. No parental figures to catch us in case something happens again." I tease, earning a playful slap to the arm and a rewarding pink tinge to her cheeks.

Did I ever tell you that I love that? Her blush I mean?

God I love that.

"Besides, Edwards going to make sure you get home safely and he'll more than likely want to spend more time with you."

"Alright, well," she pauses for a moment, seemingly debating her next move and I watch in fascination as her face gets impossibly redder.

"Bella, is...everything okay?" Im doing my best not to smile since I have a hunch on just what her next move may be. "Is there something you would like to ask me?"

"Can I have a kiss? She mumble lowly. Its so low and hurried that to human ears it would sound like nonsense.

Fortunately and unfortunately im not human.

"Im sorry, what was that?" I say, deciding to tease her a bit more.

"Rose," she whines, smacking her lips and fighting the flush rising up her neck. "You know what I said." She regards me with that shy, innocent stare; the one where she bites at her lip and gives me those unintentional bedroom eyes.

_"Self control, Rosalie."_ Is all I tell myself.

"I do." I say more seriously, stepping closer and invading her personal space.

My change in demeanor catches her off guard and she just about tumbles backwards as she hesitates to meet me, but I catch her.

As soon as my body makes contact with hers, so do my lips.

Her heart is all I can hear as she kisses me back. Its gentle, always gentle, but also innocent compared to the kiss we shared earlier.

"You're way too cute for your own good, Bella. I swear." I pull back, leaving her breathless and a bit disoriented. " You should probably get going, Edwards waiting for you."

To my suprise, she initiates another kiss, a small peck to the lips, before nodding in agreement.

"I'll see you at school, right?"

"Definitely."

*T.I.M*

Being forced to watch Bella "interact" with Rosalie is beyond frustrating.

Dont get me wrong, I've learned to deal with their open affection but its still like punch to the face; I simply cant fathom how Rosalie manages to kiss her without losing control.

To add insult to injury, I hadnt even realized that Bella was with Rosalie the whole time, until I heard all the commotion from Esme.

It was then that I realized Alice hadnt needed help with that game station, she planned it all.

She just came waltzing into my room, talking about she couldnt hook up that X-box contraption and Emmet was out hunting.

**Flashback**.

"Well, why cant Jasper do it?"

"Seriously, Edward?" She inclines her head with of look of disbelief. "Jaspers smart, but you and I both know electronics arent his thing."

"Fine," I dont even try to hide my annoyance. "Where is it?" My eyebrows raise skeptically as she gives Bella a "look".

"Oh um...its downstairs. Let me show you!" She says a bit too eagerly, but I overlook it on account of shes always eager about something.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." I smile gently at Bella, who nods with her own little smile before Alice rushes me out the door.

Okay, so maybe Jasper isnt the only one who isnt tech savvy.

"Blast these modern devices! Alice, where's the instructions?"

"Dont know," she shrugs lazily from the couch. "Its Emmetts, remember? So he more than likely doesnt have one."

"Great."

"Uh, what are you doing to my X-box?" The said man inquires confusedly.

"Im trying to fix it so Alice can play!"

"Alice," he snorts and raises an eyebrow. "Since when do you play video games?

"Um, now?" She replies more as a question, shrugging her shoulders with a sheepish grin.

"Just what are you up to, Pixie?"

**End flashback**

"Did you enjoy your night, Bella?" I ask as we drive towards her house.

"Yes. I enjoyed it very much, thank you." I turn my head just in time to receive a warm smile, which I return. "You were right about Emmett and Alice. They are quite the characters."

"That they are, Bella. That they are."

"Can I ask you something?" She takes on a more serious tone, slightly grazing my hand with her own.

"Of course you can."

"What Carlisle said at dinner, about changing? If...If I wanted that. If I wanted to be like you...would you change me?"

"No, Bella." Theres no hesitance, no thinking whatsoever as I murmur my reply.

Its not happening.

"But why not? I cant be with you or Rose if im like this...not forever. I'll get old and you'll still be young." I watch her head shake out of my peripherals. "You wont want me when im old and grey.."

"I'll always want you, Bella. Never think otherwise. But this life isnt for you. You'll be giving up everything you hold dear and I dont want that for you. It'd be extremely selfish of me to even consider it..."

"Its not selfish if I want it!"

"Im not changing you and neither is Rose. So please, I dont want to hear anything else about it." I end the conversation just as we pull up her driveway.

She huffs irritably, clearly irritated by my stern tone.

Disappointed by the look on her face, one that lets me know that im not wanted here tonight, I climb out of the truck and blur to her side.

"Goodnight, Bella." She doesnt look at me but doesnt shy away from my lips as they caress her cheek.

"Night."


	16. Oh My God!

**A/N: I'm a pervert, so I decided to right this chapter. I hope you enjoy! Red and Review!**

**Oh My God!**

**Rosalie's POV**

I'm sitting in my favorite spot, the concrete edge of the light house, which is a few miles outside of Port Angeles. I like to come here to think; mostly about a certain brunette, who seems to haunt my existence in every way. I love everything about her; her hair, her eyes, those lips, and that cute little blush that seems to permanently stain her cheeks. I just love her in general. It's been about an hour since she left, and I was a bit surprised that Edward had returned; I thought for certain that he would stay the night. He didn't say anything, but the look on his face, told me that something happened. Awe well, we can't always have a good day I suppose. I let my mind wonder back to Bella, but I was thrown into a vision.

**Vision**

It was Bella; she had just hung up the phone, and was now lying in her bed. I took in her appearance; she still had on her shirt from today, but she took off her pants, leaving her in her little Hello Kitty boy short, which were beyond sexy or at least for her anyway.

She seemed deep in thought, but I noticed her eyes were getting heavy; a clear indicator that she would soon be off to dream land. I really don't know why I'm having this vision, because she's just sleeping, nothing major. At least that's what I thought, but about ten minutes after she closed her eyes, she started making some rather lovely noises. That peeked my interest…a lot. I watched as she started biting her lip, and inhaling her shirt. A faint blush made its way up her neck, and I unconsciously bit my own lip at the site. She moaned the word "please ," as her left hand gradually started descending lower, until it reached the waist band of her Hello Kitties. With hesitant hands, she let her hand dip inside and started "exploring." She started slowly, but after a while, she picked up the pace. I watched in complete fascination and pure arousal, as she would occasionally inhale her shirt, and writhe and moan, as her hand worked with so much vigor. I was so turned by now, and I could feel my arousal and hear the moans spilling from my mouth; god I fucking wanted her…. and now! Her shirt had slightly ridden up, giving me a chance to see her muscles contort under extreme pleasure; pleasure that I wish I could give her and not those god forbidden hands. Her hips started moving frantically against her hand; this was the single most pleasant image I had ever witnessed, and I envied her hands. Sweat clung to her forehead, and her breathing was erratic; she was close, I was fuckin close and I haven't even touched myself! This continued for a few more minutes, and I waited in anticipation, as she bucked forward, but right when she was about to climax, I was forced out of the vision. Fuckin hell! She wasn't done! I wasn't done and I desperately needed to witness that oh so sweet image of her being pushed over the edge.

When I came out of the vision, I noticed that I was grasping onto the cement railing, which seemed to be in quite a few little pieces. I could also feel the uncomfortable substance in my own panties; I freakin came all over myself! I, Rosalie Hale, just came all over myself, just by watching Bella get off. _OH MY FREAKIN GOD!_

**Bella POV**

When I came into the house after Edward dropped me off, I didn't really feel like showering; I just went into my room, took off my jeans and plopped down on my bed. Renee called me, and it was probably one of the most awkward conversations I had ever had.

"What's wrong honey? Why do song so…sad?"

"It's nothing mom, I just had a little spat with someone."

"Oh…..is it a boy?" I should have realized where this conversation was probably headed.

"Yes mom, it's a boy."

"And are you guys dating?" I sighed, because I really didn't want to have this conversation. Besides, I really didn't know how to answer that question, since we were dating, but at the same time we kind of weren't dating. "Um well, you see…it's kind of complicated." This time she sighed out of frustration.

"You know, I really don't understand kids nowadays. What's so complicated? Your either dating or you're not!"

"It's complicated, because there's another person in the equation!"

"Oh wow! Well, I guess that does complicate things. So who are they…..is Jacob one of them?" Why does everybody assume its Jacob!

"No, it's not Jacob." "One of them is named Edward; he's the one I was arguing with."

"And what about the other guy?" I immediately cringed when she said "other guy." _You really have no idea, how wrong you are. _I paused for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. I knew I would eventually have to tell them about Rose, but I was a worried about how they would react to their daughter possibly having a relationship with another girl. _Well, I might as well just go ahead and get it out the way._

"Actually mom, that's what kind of really complicates things, because uh…..the other "Boy" is actually a girl…who just so happens to be his sister? " I immediately winced after I rushed those words out of my mouth. I was freak, and she couldn't possibly love me after hearing that. _What if she doesn't talk to me_ again! _Oh god, I couldn't possibly handle that kind of rejection from my own mother! _ I was so focused on the idea that she might not love me anymore that I didn't realize she was calling me.

"Bella…..Bella, sweetie? Please don't pull away from me; I know what you're thinking and I'm not upset, okay?"

"You're….you're not? But…why not?"

"No sweetie, I'm not upset. You're my baby, and I love you; you can't control who you fall in love with, and I would never judge you."

"Thanks mom, you don't know how much that's means to me."

"You should really be thanking yourself. I can only imagine how much courage it took for you tell me that."

"Yeah, I was really afraid of your reaction; I just hope Charlie takes it as easily as you did."

""Uh yeah, Charlie…well, I think he'd be a little unprepared for that, so I wouldn't recommend you just blurting it out, like you did with me." "Charlie is a bit naïve when it comes to subjects like this, so just sit down and explain it to him; I know Charlie, and I know he would never judge you either."

"Yeah, you're probably right….so are you saying that you were prepared?"

"Bella, I'm your mom and I like to think that I'm your best friend; I know you better than anyone, and I'm always prepared for anything when it revolves around you." That was a fact; she did know me and we were like best friends.

So we talked about school, friends but mostly about _them. _She asked me about my feeling for them, and I couldn't really give a straight answer, because I was still trying to figure it out. Unfortunately, I hung up after the conversation got steered into that of a sexual content. She started talking about how she used to "experiment" in college, and then tried to get me to say if I was having sex or not….big mistake!

I snuggled into my shirt a little more, inhaling its scents; a mixture of Rose and Edward was still embedded in it. I inhaled a few more times, letting the scent wash over me. Soon all thoughts turned into a haze, as I drifter off to sleep.

**Dream**

It started off as a kiss; lips hesitant, cold and slightly rough. My eyes were closed, but I could tell by the little prickly tingles against my back, that I was naked and possibly laying on grass. A trembling hand ghosted across my now erect nipples, and I recognized those ghostly hands as Edwards.

"Edward…..I need you." I whispered into the darkness. I felt his lips caress mine, and my heart felt like a battle drum, raging against my chest. He immediately stiffened at my words.

"But …I might….I might lose control….I might kill you." I wanted to kill THIS Edward! Here he is, making my body respond to him in the most glorious way possible, and he's trying to pull away! If he's so worried about my blood then he should just change me while he's taking me!

"Please Edward, I want this, I need this. I want you to lose control; take my life, take my soul, just please take me!" And just as I expected, he completely pulled away, leaving me to wallow in my own "frustrations." I laid there probably looking like an idiot, waiting for something, anything to happen, and luckily I didn't have to wait long. I felt a presence beside me, and was immediately hit with a familiar scent; it was like the sweetest abstract of vanilla and a hint of lavender; the sweetest abstract of Rosalie Hale.

I knew it was her, but I needed to be sure. "Rose, is that yo….I was cut off by cold, familiar lips; yes, it was Rose.

"Shh…..it's me Bella, don't worry." She mumbled against my lips, and her minty breath caused a chill to run down my spine.

I thought back to Edward. Why couldn't he be like her? Why couldn't he be this strong? "He left me Rose; he wasn't…he wasn't strong enough, so he left me."

"Don't worry, if he can't be strong enough for you, then I will be; I won't ever leave you." She whispered these sweet words into my ear, wiping away my tears.

"Open your eyes Bella, I want to them." I she was laying atop of me now, her hips wedged between my legs, sending a throbbing sensation to my core with every little movement she made. I tried to do as she said, but I couldn't, it was like my eyes were glued shut. "I…I can't, their stuck!" I started to panic, but immediately calmed down when I felt those cold lips pressed against my eye lids.

"There, now try…..open your eyes." I slowly opened my eyes and was greeted with a smiling Rose. Her lips were stained like a Rose, eyes slightly lidded, but I could still see her golden irises; her hair draped over us like a curtain of silk, and I giggled as it tickled my face. I reached out to tuck a few strands behind her ear, and then started caressing her face. She leaned into the touch, tilting her head to the side a bit. "You're beautiful, Rose." She immediately smiled at the complement, making my stomach stir with butterflies. "Thanks Bella,and you're not so bad looking yourself." She smirked, and brought her gaze to my fully naked form. And like always, I completely blushed. I looked around and noticed we were under a tree; a tree that was shedding little Rose petals.

She leaned forward and captured my lips with hers, nipping and licking at the flesh. Edwards kiss always reminded me of fireworks, but this kiss was like the Atomic Bomb! She started placing kissing all over my face and stop when she neared my ear. Taking the lobe into my ear, I immediately moaned at her words.

"I want you Bella; I want you so fuckin bad." "I want you to be mine, and I want to make you cum like never before." She wanted me? I fuckin wanted her…..everywhere! And she wanted to make me cum? Hell, I'm surprised I didn't just cum at that moment, and she definitely didn't need my permission for that!

"I want you too…I want to feel that." I immediately called out to the heavens, when she slowly started to grind into me. "Oh god, please….please, I need you so bad!" I wrapped my legs around her, trying to get more friction.

"What do you want, Bella? Tell me what you want me to do, show me." Her ragged breath ranged through my ear, making me even wetter. I'm a little shy when it comes to anything sexual, especially dirty talk, but I was so high off of my own desire, that I really didn't care at the moment.

"I want….I want you to touch me…here." I took her right hand and laid it on my bare mound. Her eyes darkened and chest began to rumble. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; when she opened them, they were golden again. "Are you sure? I don't think I could stop if I do."

"Yes I'm sure, and don't stop….I don't want you to stop." She watched my expression carefully, and then nodded in confirmation. I sighed in content, as she slowly let a finger trace my little bundle of nerves.

"I'm not gonna take your virginity, but I promise I'll give you so much pleasure." She started making small circles on my clit, and I bucked into her hand in response. I felt her slowly trace my opening, gathering all my juices, and began using it as a lubricant. She continued to inhale deeply, and I felt her body shudder as her nostrils continued to flare.

"You're so wet Bella, and I can smell you…..and you smell so good." I blushed at her words, and she started kissing down my neck and slowly continued downward. _I my god! She's about to do what I think she's about to do! _My hearts was beating so fast, it felt like it was about to explode! She descended lower, while keeping her hand busy, and then directly into my eyes; she grasps my leg with her free hand, and spread them a little wider. She dipped her head lower, breathing me in deeply, and I heard a small growl erupted from her throat; she was turning me on beyond reason. "God, you smell so fuckin good….you really have no idea what you do me, Bella." And with that said, she gave my clit one long lick, and gently began to suck it. I couldn't help the scream that echoed form my mouth; I had never felt anything like this, it felt sooo good. My hips began bucking on their own accord, but she firmly but gently held me down by the waist. I started moaning and shouting incoherent words, and felt a weird tightening in my stomach.

"Rose, my…my stomach, something's….something's happening!"

"Its okay….just let go." She mumbled against my sensitive flesh, and the vibration caused the most amazing feeling to wash over me. I was having an orgasm and my very first orgasm at that. The feeling was so intense, and my muscles started to contort and spasm, due to the intensity of it. And when I came down, she greeted me with a smile and loving words.

"I love you. I love you so much that it hurts." I leaned forward, and was about to reply, but I heard something or someone calling me. My dream began to fade away, and my eyes opened to see a very confused and flustered Charlie standing in my doorway.

"Dad….what's wrong, did something happen!" I sat up out of panic, but I felt something on my hands, so I looked down and noticed that my hands were inside my panties. _Oh my god! He…he heard me, he saw me!_

"Um…when I came home, I heard you screaming, so I ran up stairs and called your name. I uh….I can see that it was a false alarm, so I'll just be on my way." As he said this, I noticed he cheeks were completely flushed and he looked very uncomfortable, as did I. I couldn't say anything. Hell, I was too embarrassed to even try to think of something to say. So when he cleared his throat and left, I flung my head against my pillow, and silently prayed for the bed to just swallow me up.

_Oh my God!_


	17. Conversations with Alice

A/N: Sorry for the wait, and thanks for the reviews and much love to everyone who added my stories to their favs! Read and review.

**Conversations with Alice**

It was a Friday afternoon; the rest of the week was okay. Edward was still a bit on edge after the whole "changing" me conversation, but we've been working through it. He even invited me to join his family for a game of baseball tomorrow; according to Alice, it's suppose to be some big thunderstorm, and said something about "it being the perfect day to play." I on the other hand, was a bit skeptical about the whole thing. I mean, you're not suppose to even take showers during thunderstorms, so why would you want to play baseball?

"Bella!" Alice's wind chimed voice echoed through my ears, bringing me out of thoughts. We were currently driving to the mall at Port Angeles. Yes, Alice managed to get me to go on one of her shopping trips, and something tells me that we're going to be there for awhile.

"Jeeze Bells, I've been calling you for the past three minutes!" She paused for a moment, and I noticed that mischievous grin on her face.

"Thinking about your lovers? I don't know why, but that instantly caused a huge blush on my cheeks. After my little embarrassing wet dream last week, Alice had been teasing me non-stop. To make things worse, Rosalie also knew about it; she didn't tease me too much, but luckily she didn't know who I was dreaming about. That really ticked her and Alice off; they'd always try to get me to say it, but there was no way in hell I was gonna do that! If they ever found out, I would die of embarrassment. I can handle Alice and her teasing, but Rosalie? Not so much. On the other hand, maybe I should tell Rose, and maybe she would actually make they dream a reality….yeah, that sounds nice!

"No! I was actually thinking about the baseball game tomorrow." It wasn't a total lie, since I was thinking about it…among other things.

"Oh Bella! Its gonna be so much fun!"

"I bet, but I still don't understand why we have to play in a thunderstorm?"

"Don't worry about that, you'll definitely find out."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes, even though I already know what you're gonna ask, but go ahead." She tapped her head, so I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well, last Sunday after I left your house, me and Edward had a little fight. I asked him if he would change me, and he got pretty upset….why?"

She sighed. "Well, to put it in simple terms, Edward thinks we're damned. He believes we're soulless monsters and he doesn't want that for you." It was quiet for a second.

"And Rosalie, how does she feel about it?"

"Unfortunately, she's no better. She also thinks we're monsters and quite honestly, I wouldn't even bring it up with her; if you thought Edward was upset, then you definitely don't want to see her upset." I huffed in frustration. They couldn't honestly expect me to live in their world as a human forever. I'd grow older, slowly dying with each passing year, while they remain young. As I thought about this, I began digging my nails into the leather seats, trying to stop the tears that threaten to spill. I felt Alice shift, and felt the coolness of her hands as she rubbed mine.

"Please don't cry Bella…I'll tell you something, but you have to promise not to say anything, okay?" I nodded my head weakly, while wiping at my fallen tears. Alice seemed to be debated her words for a moment, and I was dying a curiosity.

"I've seen it; I've seen visions of you….becoming like one of us."

I opened and closed my mouth out of pure shock and happiness. I was going to be changed; I was going to be a Cullen! "R..really! When…when does it happen… and by who!" I was tugging on her arm like a lunatic, but I couldn't help it, I was just so happy!

"I'm not for sure….it only comes in scattered images, and you have to realize that my visions are subjective; they can change at anytime, depending on the actions of the person." That caused my happiness to deflate a little, but I was still happy since I at least had a chance of being changed.

"Do you think Rose has seen it too?"

"I don't know, sometimes she doesn't see what I see, and sometimes she does. If she has seen it, then she hasn't mentioned anything to me about it." It shifted into a comfortable silence after a while.

"So, have you made any progress with your decision?"

"You mean you don't know?"

"No, unfortunately you haven't made a clear decision, so sometimes I get visions of you and Edward and other times, it's with you and Rose."

"I honestly don't know. They both make me happy on some level, and they're completely devoted to me." Edwards safe; he's always so cautious with me. It's comforting, but beyond frustrating, especially when I want to try to be physical with him." Alice gave me an amused looked.

"Look, I'm not some sex-crazed teenager okay, but I know that eventually, ill want to have a physical relationship; I need to know that he'll be able to do that, if I choose him."

"And our dear, sweet Rosalie…what do think about her?" I immediately had a big dumb grin on my face when she mentioned her. "Let's see, Rose... is like the exact opposite of Edward. She's wild, spontaneous, and she's never hesitant with her moves; she never holds back with me, on any type of level." I immediately started blushing again, as I thought about the incident in her room and my wet dream. "Judging by our recent "activities," I'd say she's willing and capable of giving me what I want." _And boy did she ever give it to me in that dream! _ "I mean yeah, she has her limits, but it always takes a lot more for her to push me away, and it's mostly out of respect…I suppose." I started thinking about the downsides to my decisions, and how it would affect both of them. "It crushes me, Alice; knowing that I'll eventually have to break one of their hearts, it crushes me." Alice immediately reached for my hand again, giving it a little squeeze. "I'm the one who should feel like a monster, not them. It just makes me feel like I'm playing with their hearts, and that's not my intentions; it's just so hard, because I care about them both." This time, I didn't even try to attempt to hide my tears.

"Bella, you're not a monster. You're a girl, who just so happened to fall in love with two people at once; they knew exactly what they getting into, and they both understand the consequences." She was, but I still felt like bad. This was literally going to be one of the hardest decisions of my life, and I knew that I was going to have to choose and soon.


	18. Waiting and Baseball

A**/N: Been awhile, and I've really missed you guys! If you've haven't already noticed, I've changed my name from Brayden10 to Pussyninja..yeah, I know. Lmao! Please read and review! Oh, a few of my readers have suggested that I get a Beta, i dont know what that is but if you're interested then let me know.**

**Waiting and Baseball**

Vampires are not inanimate objects, but when it comes to time, we are unmoving. We are undead "artifacts" of the past, and we house memories and knowledge of "things" humans can't possibly fathom. We are immortal beings, so time is not a factor for us; we just keep moving forward, physically unchanging, while the rest of the world evolves.

I guess sleeping and waiting would be in the same categories for my kind, Since it's impossible for us to sleep, we just wait…all the time.

Waiting…..

Waiting is exactly what I find myself doing at this very moment; waiting for time to slowly pass by so that my human will awaken from her slumber. I absolutely envy her for having such luxuries, especially since she gets to dream. She doesn't have to worry about staying up for an eternity of boredom, well at least not yet anyway. She's so fixated on becoming one of us, but she really doesn't understand that she'll be giving up everything. Everything she takes for granted like sleep, food, warmth, and even children….all of that will be gone and it irks me to no end. Why can't she just realize what she's doing to herself? What she's doing to me?

I let those questions linger in the back of my head as I gaze at the alarm clock; its reads 8:45am. I find myself becoming more irritable and fidgety as I curse both Chronos and Hypnus.

_Ugh! Why do humans HAVE to sleep! And why does it seem like I've been staring at the numbers 8 and 45 for the past ten minutes! Hmm, maybe it's broken?_

With that thought in mind, I decide to "physically" check for myself. I lightly tap it, and the result was nothing. I tap it a little harder, and I'm rewarded with an additional minute.

_One minute? One lousy, stinking minute! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! _I thought for sure that my actions would have at least gained me an hour! Why? I don't know!

Letting out a frustrated sigh, I lift the clock over my head, and I intend on smashing it against the wall, but my actions are cut short by my "mothers" booming voice.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale, don't even think about throwing that!"

"Huh?" I mentally smacked myself. Eighty plus years of reading, writing, and studying several languages and customs, and the best response I can come up with is "huh_." Wow, that's really rich!_

"Don't you 'huh' me! You heard exactly what I said!"

I immediately start mumbling incoherent profanities, or at least I thought they were "incoherent."

"What was that?" Esme voice echoed through the floor.

"Um, nothing mother!" I say in the most sweetest voice I could muster, because an Angry Esme is someone I really don't want to have to deal with at the moment.

"That's right nothing! You're not TOO old to NOT get a spanking, you know!"

I cringe at the words "spanking." Generally, when you think of the word "spank," you think about a parent "physically reprimanded" their child due to their behavior; nothing more and nothing less. But after years of hearing the NOT-SO INNOCENT "spankings" around the house, compliments of Jasper, Alice, Esme and Carlisle, the word has become somewhat tainted. Every time I think about that word, unsavory images erupt in my head; sexual images that should not be witness by any human, vampire or any other creature. And then there's the whole "dirty talk" that revolves around it. Mainly the "Oh Carlisle, I've been such a bad, bad girl!" or Alice and her whole "Role playing" fetish; the naughty school to be exact. So yes, my family has completely tainted the word "spanking" and its meaning.

_Although, I wouldn't mind spanking a certain brunette_. I couldn't help the wide, perverted grin that etched its way across my face.

After that whole "wet dream" incident occurred, I've been having some very sensual daydreams and thoughts of my own. I feel like one of those prepubescent boys from school! I don't know how many times had to reframe from indulging in the self-sexual pleasure of oblivion. I can't help it though; Bella invokes so many feeling within me.

"Rosalie Hale, what hath become of thee?"

"Yeah Rose, what hath become of thee?" And uh..What's with that perverted grin on your face?" "Ah, thinking about your human again?"

That little pixie caught me red-handed, and if I were able to blush, I'm pretty sure I would be right now.

"Ill take your silence as a yes. Anywho, it's almost 9:15, so Bella should be up in like 10 minutes, aren't you gonna go pay her a visit before Edward does? Or maybe you should just sit here and continue to wallow in your own self-boredom?"

_9:15? I wasn't even paying attention! I guess time flies by when you're thinking perverted thought?_

Bella is usually a late sleeper on the weekends, but I've somehow manage to get her out of that habit. I guess after all the morning visits, her inner alarm clock has become use to my morning intrusions. She was a bit grumpy at first and somewhat till is, but all-in-all she seems happier.

"Well are you gonna just sit there with that dumb look on your face, or are you gonna go?"

I made my way to the window and jumped out, but not before I flipping Alice the "bird."

I made it to the Swans' residence in no time. Being extremely cautious, I scale the wall and perch myself onto her window ledge; I'm immediately hit with the marvelous smell of Bella. She's laying down, but I can tell by her breathing patterns that she isn't asleep. Her back is facing me and my mouth waters as I take in her "night wear." She has on a very tight looking baby tank top that stops just above her waist; its white so I can tell that she's not wearing a bra. Instead of her usual boy shorts, she chose a simple pair of white hip hugger panties, and the fabric looks to be wedged in between one of her cheeks; I marvel at the sight of that exposed skin. I begin to feel that familiar throb between my legs and the venom pooling in my mouth.

I swallow the burning liquid, and try to regain my composure. _No Rosalie, you came here to SPEND TIME with Bella, Not RAVISH her!_

After effectively recollecting myself, I quietly walk over to the bed; Bella hasn't turned around my presence and her is still the same, so she obviously hasn't sensed me yet...or she could just be waiting for me to make a move?

I carefully climb into the bed, and position myself behind her but not actually touching her. I wait for a moment, trying to see if she'll say anything but I get nothing. I peer down at her porcelain skin, mainly her neck and arm, which are both openly exposed and I can feel the rumbling in my throat that threatens to spill out. I shift a little closer until my front is completely touching her back, and I bite back a moan from the heat radiating off of her skin. The gesture causes a quiet gasp from Bella, and the drumming of her heart sends me on overdrive. I can't resist NOT touching her now, so I lightly trace my finger over her bare am, causing little Goosebumps to appear in its wake. _We'll if she wasn't awake before, then she's definitely awake now! _She still didn't turn around, so I slowly wrap my arms around her waist and begin placing small kisses on her neck. I do my best to ignore that throbbing, blue vein and take it a step further by messaging the area with my tongue; she trembles under my ministrations. She lets out a breathy pant, when my hand starts creeping upward.

I'm so unbelievably turned on right now, so I can't help it when my hips start to move on their own accord. _So much for not wanting to ravish her. _We both let out loud moans when I finally cup her very soft, supple breasts. They're perfect; not too big , not too small and very sensitive to the touch.

Starting at the base of her neck, I take one long lick and stop right at her earlobe. I take the soft flesh into my mouth, while gently messaging her left breast; she's squirming now. Her back arches , pushing her butt right into me and I start grinding harder. I can smell her arousal and the venom that gradually started filling my mouth became unbearable, so when she finally places her hands on top of mine, effectively stalling my ministrations, a flood of relieve crashes over me.

"Good morning to you too, Rosalie." She pants out, finally shifting her head in my direction.

"How'd you know it was me? It could have been Edward." I mumble against her shoulder, smirking all the while. She gives me this weird look as if she was saying "really?" And I watch as her tomato-red face gradually starts to return to its natural color.

"Well for one, I don't think Edward is brave enough to do...what you just did." And just like that, her blush returns with a vengeance. "Not only that, but I can..feel you..and..and smell you, and you guys smell and feel different." She's so cute when she bites her lip like that; I just can't help but tease her a bit.

"Oh? And what do I feel and smell like?" My voice drops low, which causes her to blush more.

"Um...I..I don't know...nice? Not that Edward doesn't either, but you just smell...nicer and feel...softer." My smirk widen as she sputters out her words.

"I think you feel nice too, Bella...very warm... soft and...inviting." With each word I start placing kisses on her shoulder. "And then there's that smell of yours." She was blushing like mad, so I decide to take it up a notch by flashing her my "bedroom eyes." This earns me a quiet whine from Bella, and I notice she starts shifting her legs "uncomfortably."

"Your unbelievable, you know that?" She huffs on frustration.

"What? What'd I do?" I feign innocence

"Oh you...you know exactly what you did!" She says playfully, while pouting. She shifts and gets off the bed, which sends her sweet scent waffling towards my nostrils. My eyes immediately darken, causing her heart to pound harder and her scent to intensify; She throws her head back and groans.

"Do you have to do that? Why do you have to be so...so...so sexy like...all the time?" I raise my eyebrows questionably.

_She thought I was sexy? Oh no, no, no, Miss Swan! The only sexy person in this room is YOU! _Dont get me wrong, I know I'm hot, but Bella? She was WAY hotter!

Without another thought, I quickly but gently pin Bella to a nearby wall. She gasps when she realizes just how black my eyes are.

"So you think I'm sexy?" I ask as I press myself against her and stare at her lips. Her face flushes and she squirms a little when I move inward.

"Um...I...your ...I think your beyond sexy. I think your...beautiful." And just like that, that one word causes me to completely stop.

I've been called sexy, hot, gilf, and even a dime, whatever that is, but no one has ever said that I was beautiful.

I look directly into her eyes and give her this "look", and it's not a look of lust or desire, it's a look of pure love.

"Wha...what's wrong?" She asks with that pink tinge on her cheeks and bottom lip sucked into her mouth, I shake my head and just smile.

"You're amazing Bella, and you don't even realize it."

"I um..." She attempts to say something, but I cut her off with a gentle peck. I pull back after her blush get a little overwhelming, which makes me shake my head even more.

"Come on, let's go feed the human."

**Bella's Pov**

It's about 10: 30am, and I'm sitting at the table with my head buried into my Lucky Charms, trying to ignore the fact that Rosalie is probably staring at me. I can feel her eyes on me, watching, studying, and probably calculating my next move or thought. I immediately dismiss that last thought, because according to Edward, it's impossible for her to read my mind. But still...

Even as I pretend to read the false nutritious facts on the box, I can still feel her eyes on me. Knowing that she's staring at me in any way she sees fit, causes a chill to run up my spine. I can still feel her phantom lips own mine, and the thought makes my already hard nipples even harder. I can feel them straining against the fabric of my tank top, almost painfully, and I pray that she doesn't notice my _smell._

"Bella?' I immediately jump at her soft spoken voice, and in the process, I manage to spill my milk all over the front of my top. I can feel it running down my bare chest and already hard nipples. The combining sensation of Rosalie ogling me and the feel of cold milk running down my chest, causes me to become very wet, and from the flare of her nostrils I can tell that she can indeed smell it.

She closes her eyes slowly and breathes in deeply, which only causes her to stiffen.

"Rose, I am so sorr..." She raises her finger, silently asking for a "moment" and then finally opens her eyes' they're normal, but really dilated.

"No, I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to ask you about pro..." She once again stiffens, but I notice that far away look on her face; she was having a vision.

"I have to go, Charlie is on his way home and Edward won't be far behind him."

"Well, wait! I thought you were supposed to be taking me to watch the game?"

"No, Edward wants to meet Charlie, so we agreed to let him take you, but don't worry, I'll see you later." She leans over the table to give me a quick peck on my lips.

"Don't look so sad, Bella. It's only a few hours and besides, I really should...,She takes a deep breath, go hunting." As she says the last part, she stares right at my chest. She giggles at my attempt to cover up, and I just know that I'm blushing.

"You really are entertaining, Bella. I'll see you later, Okay?"

"I think Charlie likes me." Edward says hopefully, while we drive down the road. We just manage to survive a very awkward meeting with Charlie. As if cleaning his gun wasn't intimidating enough, he just had to ask, "what are your intentions with my daughter?" Edward, being the well mannered gentlemen that he is, replied, "My intentions are to take her out for a game of Baseball." Charlie made this weird snorting sound and made a comment about me not being athletic, and then he says something about not trying any "funny business." I had to inwardly laugh at Charlie's attempts at being the "overprotective father." One look at Charlie's face, and I knew he didn't like Edward. Why? I don't know.

"Yeah Edward, I think he likes you too." It wasn't too convincing, but I don't think he noticed.

We drove for a couple miles until we reached a large clearing surrounded by trees. I jumped when a loud "Crack" echoes through the air; I immediately assume its lightning.

"Edward, I don't really do well with Lightning." I croak out as he places a baseball hat on my head. He flashes that crooked smile and takes my hand as we walk towards the clearing.

Bella Love, that's not lightning."

I look at him like he's crazy. Did he not just hear what I just heard? He points towards the field, and its then that I notice Emmet standing at the plate, while Alice throws the ball perfectly. Emmet flashes a toothy grin right before he hits the ball, making it roar and fly towards the woods. A blur goes past, heading straight after the rapid ball. Not a moment later, Rosalie comes out with the ball in hand. I had to blink a couple of times to try to comprehend what I just saw.

"Wow, I see why you guy's only play during thunderstorms."

The wind shifts, making my hair cascade in their direction and I watch as all eyes flash towards me. It took about a milli-second before I was enveloped into a hug by Alice with Emmet right behind. Esme and Carlisle soon followed, but Jasper chose to keep his distance; he nods his head in acknowledgement.

I can feel my throat contracting as Rosalie walks over to me, and I let my eyes roam over her body.

Her hair descends down her shoulder, almost like a wave of silk curtains and it was covered by a hat. Her hand and lower arms are behind her back, causing her back to arch forward, which gives me a few of her ample chest. Her hips sway from side to side, and a small smirk plays on her lips as she notices me eying her appreciatively. All-in all, she looks amazing. I mean, I thought Edward looked good in his uniform, but Rosalie was just...just WOW!

She stops right in front of me, eyes twinkling with something unknown, and embraces me. I close my eyes and let her essence wash over me.

"You look really, really good in your uniform, Bella." She whispers seductively, voice dropping an octave.

Did she not look into the mirror before she came?

"Um Thanks...you look really goo in your too."

We finally settle onto the field after choosing teams. The first teams consists of Carlise, Jasper, and Rose, and the second team consists of Alice, Edward, and Emmet. They didn't think it was too safe for me to play, so I chose to be Umpire with Esme.

Jasper took his place at the plate, looking like a kid on Christmas. I honestly don't think I've ever seen him look so happy. He knocks the ball right out of the field with Emmet right on its tail. Emmet catches it, but not before Jasper runs past home plate.

Its Rose's turn to bat, so she strolls towards the plate, hips swaying sensually, and I can't help but wonder if she's doing it on purpose. She turns towards my heated face and then winks before turning back around.

Yeah, she doing it on purpose.

"This is for you, Bella. Alright pixie, show me what ya got!"

Alice rolls her eyes and then launches her arm outward, sending a fierce curve ball towards Rose. She hits the ball with a loud "clank" and I cant help but wonder if she put a dent into the bat.

She grins triumphantly before blurring past first base.

"That's got to be a home run, right?" I ask Esme, who gives me an amused look.

"I don't know. Edward is fast."

And she's right, Edward is fast. Not a moment after she said that, the ball rushes through the wood and heads straight towards Esme. Rosalie is halfway past third before she decides to skid to home plate' it was close, very close.

"Its your call, Bella."

"Um..." I say nervously, because Rosalie is giving me an expectant look. All eyes are on me now, and I start to squirm under their gaze.

"out." I finally say, standing up, as Rosalie wipes off the dirt, she raises her eyebrows at me and then gives a playful pout.

"Awe come on! You can't be serious, Bella?" She says in a huffs, crossing her arms for extra effect.

I flash her an amused smile before shrugging my shoulders.

"Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em." That earned me a playful glare from Rose.

"Oh come on, Rosie, it's just a game."

"You're right Emmet, it is just a game." She stalks towards me, almost in a preditorial way. " You'll just have to make it up o me later." She whispers into my ear, being sure to brush up against me as she walks by.

I swallow that lump in my throat, and pray that my face doesn't flame, because the last thing I need is a group of vampires shredding me to pieces. Well, the only one I would really have to worry about is Jasper, but you never know.

Carlisle comes up to the plate, and Alice readies herself for the pitch, but immediately stiffens.

"Stop!" Everyone else stiffens as they look towards the woods, and I notice three unknown figures emerge from the mist. In a matter of minutes, everyone comes rushing towards me.

"I saw the vision too late, they heard us playing." Edward pulls me towards him and I can feel Rosalie on my other side.

"I shouldn't have brought you here, I'm sorry, Bella."

"What! Edward what do you mean, what's happening!"

"Just keep quiet and stay behind me and Rosalie, and put your hair down."

"I really don't think that's gonna make a difference, Edward."

The three figures stop right in front of the Cullen's and I feel a wary tightening in my stomach as the tall blonds eyes flicker towards us.

"I'm Laurent, and this is Victoria and James, we were just pacing through. I didn't realize there were other vampires nearby.

"Yes we have a permanent residence here."

"I see, well we had a bit of a tracking problem with the human..."

"Yeah, but we led them east, so you be safe." The redhead interrupts.

"I believe this is yours," Laurent hands Carlisle the ball," room for three more?"

"I don't know, we were just about to head out."

"Oh come on, just one game?"

"Sure, three of us will be leaving so you guys can take their spots."

"So who's up first?"

"I'm the one with the wicked curve ball." Victoria declares, flashing a brief smile and I cringe when I realize just how red her eyes are.

"Oh I think we can handle that." I find myself laughing inwardly at Jasper enthusiasm.

"Oh ho, this is going to be great." Laurent and Victoria laugh briefly before making their way towards the field. I hadn't even realized James was still staring at us, until I felt Edward's body tremble slightly. James turns his attention towards Rosalie, who eyes are in thin lines; it almost looks like she trying to figure something out. Her eyes widen and she suddenly collapses onto the ground.

"No!" She's screaming and holding onto her head, so I freak out.

"Rose, what's wrong?" I attempt to move towards her, but Edward grabs onto me and I jerk back, sending my hair flailing all over the place. I heard a deep inhale of air and then several hisses

"You brought a snack."

James moves forward, but is immediately tackled by Rosalie.

"I'll kill you if you touch her!" By this time, Victoria and Laurent come rushing towards her, but immediately stop when the Cullen's soon follow.

"My, my ,my , look how much my little Lillian has grown."

"Shut up! Don't call me that...you don't..you don't know me!"

"Come now, don't tell me you've forgotten your own maker?" Everyone gasps at his declaration.

" You remember this, don't you?" He pulls out a rather old looking pocket watch, and it's enough to make Rosalie stiffen in what looked like fear?

"No! Its false...you're lying!" Rosalie jumps back, landing on her knees and begins sobbing while rocking back and forth.

I don't know what the hell's going on, but I do know that I hate this guy!

"I think it's time that you and your clan leave." Carlisle hisses, while gathering Rosalie into his arms.

"Yes, I can see that the game is over...we'll leave now...Victoria, James..LETS GO!"

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, when James gives Rosalie and myself a once over before smirking and turning to leave.

I don't even have time to check on Rosalie before Edward starts pulling me towards the car.

"Edward wait, we have to check on Rose!"

"We don't have time for that, I have to get you out of forks!" He starts fumbling with the seatbelt and I find myself becoming very angry for being out of the loop.

"What's going on!"

"She should've have reacted like that, it just made his game that more fun."

"What! So now he's after me?"

"Not you... Rose. He knows the only way he can get to her is by getting to you. He'll track you down...it's his obsession!"

I couldn't think straight. I couldn't breathe. All I wanted to do was just be there with Rosalie.


	19. I Am a Monster

**A/N: Yup, been a while, so I thought what the hey? Might as well update, right? If you've read my other story **_**Hustlin in The Hamptons**_** then you probably also read my little author's note rant. Yes, I was in a very shitty mood that day. My computer crashed a few weeks back, wiping out all my stories, but luckily I just so happen to remember my travel USB drive, so it's all good! Hope you enjoy, read and review! I'm a review whore..so sue me! Lol!**

**I Am a Monster**

**Rosalie's Pov**

He's been eying Bella and I ever since he and his comrades made their way onto the field. This man is a threat. I can feel it as he analysis me, but there's an air familiarity; I know him from somewhere but where?

I try to read his thoughts, but his mind is too jumbled. The only words I can make out are "searched, waited, " and "so long." They don't make sense to me, but as he cocks his head to the side, all these images come rushing into me. Images of me, of that night in the alley way and what proceeded afterwards. I saw everything in his perspective; his sadistic thoughts of making me his "child", lover and the thought of allowing me my revenge plagued my mind. He watched from the darkness the whole time as they tormented my body, and enjoyed every moment of it. And once they were done, they left my ragged, lifeless body in the alley way, only to be ravaged again by that monster. All these years; why didn't I remember?

He saw that glimmer of hate in my eyes and he wanted to see that hate come alive; he wanted to make me his in more ways than one. That son or bitch hovered over me, my breaths slower, shallower and eyes unfocused, and he took me. He took whatever life I had left and pillaged my body as he did it. I can still feel his teeth puncturing the skin, my jugular, and his erratic deep thrust. He made me what I am, not Carlisle and that knowledge is just too much to bare.

I cracked. That once strong, impenetrable wall cracked and I fell, leaving a scared little girl wailing in its wake.

Edward "gift" penetrates me, seeking any and all knowledge and as a result, everyone knows who I truly belong to. Surprised gasps emanate from everyone except for Carlisle, Bella and that monster; I suppose Carlisle always knew the truth, but why didn't he ever say anything?

I can feel it again; the venom, it crushes me, devours my life and creates a new one_. His_ life and the life of a monster.

I can hear Bella's heartbeat, her cries for me, asking if I'm okay, and then her scent hits me. It's overwhelming as she thrashes against Edward in an attempt to get to me, and I just know _he_ can smell it too_._

I hear his deep breaths as he savors the air, almost like he can taste her, and the growls trashing against both of our chests, his is of pleasure and mine is a warning, but its only after he takes a step forward that I actually react.

"I'll kill you if touch her!" My fear is replaced with anger as I tackle him to the ground, hands around his neck clenching and unclenching, and I can taste the bitter venom pooling in my mouth.

"My, my, my, look how much my little Lillian as grown." Images of him breaking me even more flood my mind; the thrust, my blood, his venom and the pain...I just want it to stop.

"Shut up! Don't call me that...you don't...you don't me!" Lie; I have to lie to keep the pain away.

"Come now, don't tell me you've forgotten your own maker?" His face is smug and the smell of his venom..of _my_ venom engulfs me.

"You remember this, don't you?" His hands reach for his sides and I watch in horror as he dangles a watch, _Royce's _watch right in front of me. He's taunting me, trying to break me yet again and make that fear engulf my undead heart; it's working.

"No! Its false...you're lying!" My only thought is to run, to get away and make those "lies" disappear; it's too much and I don't want to remember.

_It's not real. This isn't happening. _That's the only thing running through my mind right now.

"I think its best that you in your clan leave." I could feel Carlisle's arms embracing me, protecting me and I welcomed it. But at the same time, I wanted to push away because he knew. He knew the truth for so long and never mentioned it.

"Yes, I can see that the game is over...we'll leave now...Victoria, James...LET'S GO!"

I can feel his eyes on me still, raping me, breaking me and I just can't face him...I cant face my past.

_I'll be seeing REAL soon, Lillian...and your little human pet too._ He mocks me mentally, making me cringe at his words.

I'm catatonic, but I can hear my "mothers" voice caressing me with false words. "It's okay, sweetie. I'm here..we're her and we won't let anything happen to you." And it's too much. Her words make me tremble with broken sobs as I clutch to my "fathers" chest.

And then Bella's voice echoes from a distance; she worried and she needs me. But I can't face her either; I was weak. I let my emotions best of me and now he's after her.

"He's coming after you..he's coming after Bella! We have to figure something out...she needs you!" Edwards voice is strong, fearless and I know that he's right. We have to think of something.

"I know, Edward..I just...I cant. I don't know what to do...I'm scared."

**Edward's Pov**

Her words stun me; vie never heard, let alone thought of Rosalie being scared. I mean she's always so calm and confident, nothing like what I just witnessed. The way she crumbled and the look on her face just broke my heart. She's scared, but she has to overcome it for her sake and for Bella's. We'll have to fight; it's not an option, but the question is can we rely on Rosalie?

"Edward, what's happening to Rosalie!" Her heart is beating so fast. She's afraid...for _her._

"She's catatonic, Bella. She's afraid for you...and of _him_."

"I don't understand, who is he to her?"

"I can't really get into that right now, Bella. The main priority here is you. Besides, I don't think it's right for me to tell you. Its Rosalie's past , so she should be the one to tell you..when the time is right."

"Well, can you at least tell me where we're going?"

"Away from forks. We'll get a ferry to Vancouver..."

"-What! I can't leave...I have to go home. I have to..."

"-You can't go home. It's the first place he'll look...he'll track your scent there."

"But my dad is there...he'll.."

"-Its doesn't matter!"

"It does matter! He's my dad and he could get killed because of me!" Her eyes are wide and pleading; its killing her, but I cant risk it...I have to protect her.

"Just...just let me get you out of here first, all right!"

"No, we have to go back now! He's my dad and the only family I have here..please!" My hands grip the wheel tighter, clenching and unclenching as I debate this.

"Edward, please? We'll..we'll figure out a way to lead the tracker away somehow...just please?"

"Alright, I think I've got a plan, but you have to everything I say, okay?"

**Bella's Pov**

Edward has plan, and it's a tricky one for me because I don't know if I can break Charlie. It'll crush him if I leave...just like mom.

"Edward, I said leave me alone!"

"Bella, please don't do this. We can work it out."

"-No, it's over! Get out!" I slam the door in his face and rush up the stairs with Charlie right behind me.

"Hey now, what's going on?"

"I just gotta get out of here. I'm leaving." I say, slamming my bedroom door in his face; Edwards already packing my things but Charlie is persistent.

"Bella?"

"What am I gonna say to him? I can't hurt him, Edward."

"-Bella, what's going on?" Charlie's voice is low, worried and it crushes me even more.

"Bella, you just have to. It's the only way. I'll be down in the truck." He uses the window as his escape, leaving me to dwell on the inevitable.

I open the door and I'm immediately greeted by a solemn face.

"Bells, please tell me what's going on?" Did he hurt you?"

"-No," I say, rushing past him into the bathroom for more useless things.

"What, he broke up with you or something?"

"_No, I um...broke up with him."I return to my room, trying to ignore that confused look on his face and slam the door yet again.

"I thought you liked him?"

"Yeah, that's why I have to leave." He looks at me weirdly, as if I magically grew a another head.

"I don't want this. I have to go home."

"Home? Renee's not even in Phoenix."

"-She'll come home. I'll call her on the road."

"Bella, this is ridiculous! I'm not letting you drive home at night. And for what? Because of Edward! This is your Ho..."

"-It's not my home, dad! And it's not just Edward, its everything!"

"Look, Bella. I know I'm not that much fun to be around, but I can change that. We can..we can do more stuff together." His voice is desperate; almost pleading. _Please just stop._

"Like what? Watch Baseball on the flatscreen? Eat steak and Cobbler? Dad, that's you, that's not me." The look on his face is unbearable. I need to get out; I need to run.

I move to the front door, only to be stopped by his pleading voice.

"Bella, come on. I just..I just got you back." _Please stop. Please don't make this harder for me._

"Yeah, and you know, if I don't get out now, then I'm just gonna be stuck here like mom." That's the last thing I said before slamming the door in his face for the last time.

What I said was the most hurtful, spiteful and just unforgiving thing that's ever come out of my mouth. I don't know if he'll ever forgive me for that, but I accomplished what set out to do; I crushed him beyond repair, effectively saving his life.

"Your father will forgive you." I nearly jump out of my sit, when Edward scales the side of my truck. I move so that he can take the driver sit, leaving me to wallow in the despair that I caused Charlie.

"He won't. I didn't see his face as I left, but I just know that I crushed him...I told him the same thing my mother told him before she left."

"It's the only way he'd let you go."

"Yeah," My voice trembles slightly as I try to hold back my tears. "It still hurts though, knowing that I hurt him..it still hurts."

"Just don't worry about him now. He's safe. The tracker is following us."

I let out a surprised yelp when I heard a loud "thud" just above my head.

"Its Emmet and Alice is in the car behind us."

"What about the others...Rosalie?"

There uh...there waiting for us at the house."

I give a sigh of relief and settle in to my seat . The drive to the Cullen's seem so much longer than usual, but it gives me time to think...to reflect really. As I peer out of my window, my gaze lands on something familiar; the diner and my friends. My heart clenches at how "normal" they are. At how carefree and oblivious they are towards everything around them; I envy that.

**Rosalie's Pov**

Alice just dropped Carlisle, Esme and myself off at the house, and immediately returned to accompany Edward to Bella's house. Edward keeps me informed mentally; he say's Bella's safe, but the tracker is following them. That knowledge angers me beyond comprehension. Fear or no fear, I'll that bastard if he lays a finger on her!

But I'm home now; in my haven and my safe zone, but the fear is still there along with Anger. Anger towards myself, my father but more importantly, anger towards that monster.

"Rosalie, are you okay?" Carlisle asks, only making me more angrier.

"No, I'm not okay! Everything all fucked up because of me! Why? Why didn't you say anything after all these years? Why did you leave me in the dark for so long!"

"Rose, I wanted to tell you, believe me, I did. But you were already suffering when I found you. You didn't remember much, only Royce and his friends as the change took place. And after the change was complete, you just flew off the handle. You just wanted to kill them, and after you did, you regretted it."

"I wouldn't have regretted killing him! If I'd known he was responsible for this," I point to myself," I would have gladly ended him!"

"I hate to see you like, Rose; So dark, angry and scared. Like you said, if you'd had known, you would have searched nonstop until you found and killed him. That's no way to live, especially for a new born, so I did what I thought was best..what would make you happy in the future. Was I wrong? Are you not happy?"

I'm beyond angry and frustrated, but in the back of mind , I know that he's right. He took me in as his own, cared for me and did what he thought was right to protect me. How could I stay made at him for that?

And as I reflect on my life so far; how happy, and so very grateful I am, all the anger just fades away. My gaze meets his, but it doesn't reflect anger or hate, it reflects love.

"I..I am happy; I'm beyond happy. I've got two loving parents, four crazy siblings and...the love of my life. I'm ecstatic...but..I'm scared. I've never been so scared in my life." My resolve cracks again, but it's my mother who catches me this time. "What if..what if I can't protect her?"

"-hush now, no more talking. It's going to be okay..we'll protect her..we'll protect you." She caresses my hair compassionately, and deep down I want to believe her but will it? Will everything be okay?

I relax into her embrace, letting her scent wash over me in calming waves, but she soon stiffens. Her chest rumbles with a low growl; its warning growl, letting me know that there's a threat nearby. A scent hits me full force; it's _his_ scent but it's also different.

I didn't think; I just reacted. In a pace that rivaled that of Edwards, I blurred through the nearest door, straight into the trees until I came face to face with Laurent.

"You!" I waste no time in tackling him to the ground.

"-I mean you no harm, I swear!"

"You really think I'm gonna believe anything you say! You're lucky I..."

"-Rosalie," My father's voice stops me before I make an attempt to rip off his head. "This isn't how we do things. Obviously he's here for a reason, so let's just hear him out first."

**Bella's Pov**

The ride to the Cullen's was excruciatingly slow. All i could think about was Charlie and Rosalie. I just really want all of this to be over.

"Bella, please stop worrying. Its going to be okay, Ill protect..we'll protect you." Edward says, giuding me to the door. _Its not me that im worried about._

We're halfway to the door when he, along with Alice, Jasper and Emmet, let out low hisses. Its only when he practically yanks me to the door that I realize what has them on edge; standing in the doorway is Laurent.

"What are you doing here!"

"-Edward, he's here to warn us about James.

"-This isn't my fight, and I've grown tired of his games. But he has unparalleled senses, absolutely lethal. I've never seen anything like it in my three hundred years. And the women, Victoria, DONT underestimate her." His words feel lethal; they create an unspoken tension even after the fact that he's gone. But I don't have time to dwell on them, because the only person on my mind right now is Rosalie.

"Where's Rosalie?"

Edward and the others are in the process of coming up with a plan. He said we'd probably be leaving within the next fifteen minutes or so, so I figure that'd be enough time to talk to Rose.

I nervously walk up those few flight of stairs and turn the corner that lead to _her _room. My heart is pounding in my chest, so I'm not too surprised when I hear her voice telling me to come in from the other side. I comply and lean against the door. My heart shatters even more at the sight before me; Rosalie is sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of her bed, knees to her chest with her arms tightly wrapped around them. Her head is bowed, and I realize I've never really seen her look so...human. She looks fragile, almost as if she were a child.

I sit in front of her Indian style and await in the stillness of the room.

"Rosalie, who is he..to you?" Its quiet, except for that sharp intake of unneeded air from Rosalie. She raises her head slightly; just enough for me to see her eyes, and I gasp at how black they are. My reaction makes her recoil; makes her avoid my gaze and I hate myself even more.

"You're afraid of me." She states, brows furrowed and gaze still un-meeting.

"No, I could never...you just surprised me..is all." I move so that I'm on my knees in front of her, and I take her hands into mine. Her gaze meets mine, but I can still the apprehension in her eyes, so I place her right hand to my cheek.

"See, I could never fear someone I love." She visibly relaxes, but she lets out this strange noise; it's a cross between a sob and a whine.

"I love...I love you too." She sobs, wrapping her arms around my midsection and muffling her cries into my abdomen. We sit like this for a while, me caressing her silky tresses as her sobs slowly turn into soft mewls.

"He's my maker, Bella. He made into this...this monster." She mumble against me, so I tilt her head up to meet my eyes.

"Rose, You're not a monster. Why can't you just see what I see?"

"Because what you see is false. I am a monster! Even more so... now that I know who I truly belong to!" She startles me as she pushes me away, but I won't give in until she realizes who she is.

"You belong to no one, Rose! You're not like him...you're not a monster. You're just...you. You're Rose...You're my Rose." Her lips quiver slightly as she desperately tries to avoid my gaze. I get this strange feeling in my chest as I look at her; I just feel like something's going to happen.

"You're going to fight him, aren't you?" It's a whisper, but I know she caught it.

"Yes, I'm going to end it. I'm gonna make you safe again."

"Please don't...please don't fight him!"

"Bella, I have to. It's the only way."

"-No! Please...we can..we can all just leave here. We can go someplace far away from here..."

"-No Bella, he'd find us. He's a tracker and this is nothing but a game to him. He's never gonna stop."

"Rosalie, please! You're weak...I can tell you haven't hunted since this morning. He'll kill you!"

"Not before I kill him first." She turns her gaze towards mine, and I'm shocked at how much conviction I see on her face.

"Please?" I'm literally on my knees begging her, tears freely falling while my hands clutch her shoulders. "Please don't do this to me...I cant...I just can't bare the thought of..."

"-Shh, Bella it'll be fine. Its two against five. That's hardly a fair fight."

"Yeah but..wait five?"

"Um Yeah, Alice and Jasper are gonna be with you so that..."

"- What! No! I'm not leaving you...I cant...I have to come with you!"

"Bella, you know you can't. It's too dangerous and I won't be able to focus if you're there."

"Well, why can't you just stay with me, and Jasper can go fight?" She seems highly amused by my statement, but I'm serious.

"As much as I would love to stay with you, and as much as Jasper would love to fight, I can't do that. This is my fight, Bella. I have to do this...I have to end it."

I stare at her, eyes pleading and probably puffy, but I knew she wasn't going to give in.

"Fine." I sigh heavily, dropping my hands from her shoulders as mine slumped in defeat. My eyes sting, my chest and throat tighten as I try to hold back my tears. "Just promise me you'll come back?"

"I promise." Her cold hand reaches for mine, bringing it up to her cheek before planting a soft kiss in my palm. We settle into silence once again, and there's so much that I want to say to her, but I don't know how. My first reaction is to tell her I love her again, but it would just feel too much like goodbye and that not what I want.

"Are you scared?" It's not what I wanted to say, but it's the first thing that comes to mind.

"I'm absolutely terrified." Her eyes enrapture me; they're calm, but there's so many other emotions swirling within them. "I suppose all vampires fear their maker, but I think my fear is well justified. If you would of...if you could have seen all the sick, twisted things I'd seen in his head...the vile things he's done..and not only to me. So yeah, I'm scared, but it's you that gives me courage. It's you that'll give me the strength to end him." I didn't know what to say, so I just did the only thing that came to mind; I kissed her with everything that I had.

Edward's Pov

I tried so hard to ignore the conversation taking place just above me, but I'm afraid these walls are too thin. My phantom heart aches at the realization of Bella finally making her decision. It's so very clear to me now, and I should have already seen it come in the long run, but I hoped nonetheless. She has chosen Rose over me, and as much as I want to hate and despise Rosalie for it, I simply can't. I don't have it in me to hate her, nor do I have the time.

"It's time."


	20. Let Me sign

**A/N: Okay, so if you've read my profile recently, then you know why I haven't updated any of my stories lately. So if you don't know then I'll tell you. I've been talking to a fellow Fanfic author for a while and I'm afraid I've caught the love bug. Yes, I'm in love people and she's been my main priority, so you'll have to forgive me. Anywho, Please read and review. Oh and there's a lot of reader out there that I like to call moochers! Which means, you guys just read and read but don't give any feedback. That really irks me to no end. I don't think you guys understand how hard it is for us to our "job" and expect us to share our stories, but ya'll don't want to do ya'll job and leave a comment. That makes me not even want to write this ish no mo! And this does not apply to the kind readers that do author alerts and favs, at least you guys are doing something.**

** Let Me Sign**

**Edwards Pov**

"I've had to fight her kind before, and they're not easy to kill."

"Yeah, but not impossible either. We'll tear them apart and burn the pieces. It'll be like an old fashion family cookout!"

I watch as my brothers give each other a fist pound as they talk animatedly. Either one of them could die today and yet, they're actually seem thrilled for a fight. Well at least it's good to know that I can count on them.

"So what's the plan, Edward?" I look towards Rosalie, who seems a bit more calm, but I can still sense the fear and hesitance lurking underneath.

"I'm gonna run Bella south. We can try to lure the tracker away from here."

"No, Edward. James knows that neither of you would never leave Bella. He'll follow you."

"Well, what else choice do we have, Carlisle?"

"Alice and Jasper can take Bella south, and we can Lead James away."

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Rose. Are you sure she'll be safe?" I decide to ignore both Rosalie and Alice's full on glares.

"She'll be fine, Edward!" Alice remarks, grasping Bella by the waist.

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?"

"Yes, Jeez! I'm pretty sure I can handle this simple task!"

"She's right, Edward. Besides, we'll be able to see if anything goes wrong, Right Alice?"

I snort obnoxiously. "I don't know. Seems like you were having a bit of trouble on the field before, so why would it change now?"

"Oh fuck you, Edward! Why the fuck do you always think you're better than all the rest! Just high and mighty..can do no wrong, right!"

"Rose, Edward...this isn't the time." Carlisle interjects, forcing me to hold my tongue.

"Whatever. Here, put these on." Rosalie tosses several articles of clothing at Esme, Emmet and myself, to which I eye questionably.

"Its so he'll pick up Bella's scent. Rosalie replies, shaking her head. She walks over to Bella, who is sitting safely in Rosalie's BMW. My chest heaves with pent up frustration as I watch the two of them interact.

**Bella Pov**

"I swear, if anything happens to you..."

"-Nothings gonna happen. Like I said before, its two against all of us." The thought is reassuring, but I can't help that eerie feeling creeping into my chest. I try not to let my emotions show, but something tells me that I'm not doing a very good job.

"Bella, it's gonna be fine."

"Yeah," my voice is small and shaky, trembling with want and unspoken fear. "Just..just promise me you'll come back."

"Ill come back...you're my life and my reason for existing." There's something else there as I stare into her eyes. Something she wants to say, and something she wants to believe, but she won't voice it. So I settle for the brief silence and the feel of her cold hands caressing my face tenderly. She leans away from me, and its only then that I notice Edward watching us in discomfort. The pain of rejection is etched across his face and I hate myself even more.

"Edward," he flinches a bit, "You'll..come back too, right?"

In a matter of seconds, any and all signs of emotion are swept from his beautiful face, leaving behind a vacant stare.

"Yes, I'll come back, Bella."

**Heading South**

We've been driving for a few hours now, and all I can think about is Rosalie. I've been calling my mom nonstop, but all I ever get is her voicemail. I watch as Jasper and Alice share a tender moment; nothing big, just hand holding, But I want that. I want Rosalie with me. I want to hold hand through all of this and know that she's okay. But I can't do that, and it crushes me.

**Rosalie's Pov**

We've been at it for hours now, marking several spots, but it just doesn't seem like enough.

"Rosalie, over there, mark that tree." I do as I'm told and immediately inhale the distinct smell of Bella. I savor her scent greedily and move on to the next . But I'm soon engulfed by a vision.

I watch in displeasure as James inhales a familiar spot that's not too far from our current location. His features contort in anger and frustration at the realization of being tricked. He lets out a frustrated cry and heads the opposite way . I let out a breath of unneeded air when I finally come to, and the look on Edwards face lets me know that he also knows what's happening.

"He figured it out."

**Bella's Pov**

I watch in fascination as Alice's eyes glaze over in what appears to be a vision. It doesn't take long for her to return and I find myself overly eager to know what she saw.

"The tracker, he's changed course."

"Where will it take him, Alice?" Jasper asks, handing her a pen and a piece of paper.

"Mirrors. A room full of mirrors."

"Edward said that her visions weren't always certain."

"She sees the course people are on while they're on it. If they change their minds, the vision changes."

Her hands move with purpose, fluidly and precise. She sketches with detail and I notice a bit of familiarity within the picture.

"Okay, so the course that the tracker is on will lead him to a Ballet studio?"

"You've been here?"

"Well yeah, I took lessons as a kid. The school I went to had an arch just like that. It's not too far from here actually." My phone vibrates and my heart races when I recognize the number.

"Rose?"

"We lost James and the women, Victoria, is still in the area. Esme and Carlisle went back to watch over Charlie. I'm coming to get you, then you and I are gonna go somewhere alone. "

"And James….and what about the others?"

"I'll handle James when that time comes, but as of right now, you're my only priority; the others will keep hunting though. Bella, I'm going to do whatever it takes to make you safe again." Her words are comforting and my heart swells at the thought of her returning to me. We talk briefly before Alice and Jasper make arrangements to check out.

I'm in the process of repacking some things, when my phone vibrates; I immediately recognize the number as my mothers.

"Hey mom, I'm glad you got my message. What are you doing home though?"

"Bella? Bella? Where are you?"

"Mom, it's okay. I'm safe…everything's fine."

"Bella? Bella?" Her voice is distraught.

"Mom, I'll explain everything later, I promise. Mom, are you there?" Her voice becomes muffled by the sound of shuffling.

"Mom?"

"-Ya know, Forks High School doesn't protect its student privacy very well." I can almost sense that sadistic smile on his face as he says this. "It was just too easy for my mate to find your previous address. It's really such a nice house…very warm and inviting." He lets out a sigh, and I can't help but wonder if my mother is safe. "I was prepared to wait for you, but your mommy came home after she received a very worried call from daddy. It all worked out quite well actually." He pauses for moment and sighs. "Her blood is quite tempting ya know, especially since I haven't fed in a few days. Hmmm, maybe it's time to refuel..what do you think Isabella?"

"-Wait! Please don't touch her!"

"-You can still save her ya know. But you have to get away from your friends."

"Where should I meet you?" There was no thinking twice about this. She's my mother and if walking into a trap is the only way to save her then so be it.

"How about your old Ballet Studio?"

/

I do my best to avoid Alice and Jasper as I make my way past the entrance. I grab a taxi and quietly await till I reach my destination. I mull over everything that has taken place so far, and my mind immediately drives me towards my moments with Rosalie. There's a good chance I might die tonight, but I don't regret the decisions I've made so far, because they've ultimately led me to wards _her._

I walk into the desolate building, pepper spray in hand. The only means of light is the light rays emanating through the window from the moon. Its eerie and quiet, aside from that familiar worried voice.

"Mom!" I frantically run towards the sound of her voice. It becomes more prominent as I reach a nearby door. What greets me on the other side confuses me; it's not my mom, but it's an old video of her and myself.

There's a dark chuckle from behind me, and I can't help the way my heart speeds up at the sound.

"You were a stubborn child, weren't you?" He stalks towards me, camera in hand; that sickening smile ever present as he roughly forces me against the wall.

"She's not even here."

"Nope," he says, putting more emphasis on the "p." "Sorry, but you just made too easy. Sooo, to make things more entertaining, we're gonna make a little video for Lillian.

"No..you've gotten what you wanted. Just leave Rose out of this!" He cackles darkly. "You? You think I want you?" He shakes his head. " You humans are such oblivious creatures." He turns his back to me, giving me a chance to think of my next move. "Tell me Isabella, how do you catch a wolf. Or in this case, how do you catch Rosalie?" He asks, cocking his head to the side and slightly turning it in my direction; he sighs at the look on my face. "You bait it with a little lamb. You, Isabella, are that little lamb and Rosalie is the wolf. Or at least she was until you and that pathetic excuse of a coven tainted her with their filthy beliefs. Now she's like you; she's weak. It's a shame that I'll have to kill her…and she showed so much promise in the beginning."

"-Please don't touch her!"

"Yes! That's it….so much emotion! And the begging just tops it all off." He flashes me another sadistic smile that just makes my stomach churn. "Just imagine the look on her face when she sees your dead, lifeless….."

I've grown tired of his constant ramblings and taunts, so I do the only thing I can think of; I use the pepper spray and run for my life. Unfortunately, the pepper spray didn't do anything but infuriate him further. He flies right in front of me just before I can make it to the door. "I wasn't finished yet!" He says, pushing me full force into a pillar. I let out a yelp as my head collides with its sharp edge, effectively causing me to bleed out.

"Beautiful; very visually dynamic." My head is throbbing and his words just sound like a slur to me; I feel like I might faint. "I chose my stage well." He inhales deeply as he roughly grasps my arm. I can hear a faint growl rumbling in his chest and his cold ragged breath as he peers at the blood in my hand.

"Humans are so weak. It's too bad she didn't have the strength to turn you. Instead she just kept you this fragile little human. It's cruel really, but no worries though, the pain will end soon enough." He rises slowly and turns around as if he might walk away, but then I suddenly feel a sharp pain in my leg.

"Yes, right there! I want to hear you scream!" He presses his foot further into my leg. "Oh her rage is gonna make for a more interesting sport, much more than her feeble attempt to protect you." With each word he presses down onto my leg, making me scream in agony.

"Beg, tell Rosalie to save you!" His black eyes pierce me in the most haunting ways. "Tell her how much it hurts..tell her to avenge you!"

"-No, Rosalie, don't!"

"Tell her! Tell her!"

There's a blur followed by a loud crash. I'm completely disoriented and everything's just moving too fast. My eyes focus on the spot that James previously preoccupied, and I'm greeted by Rosalie. She's in a crouching position with the look of horror and disgust etched across her face. Her eyes convey so much emotions; I can already guess that she blames herself.

**Rosalie's Pov**

The sight before me completely shatters my being; Bella is slouched against the pillar, clutching her leg and looks scared out of mind. She's bleeding; I can smell it in the air and it entices me, but only for a moment, for the look of fear on her face makes me cringe. How could I have let this happen? Why didn't I see it coming sooner? I make an attempt to stand, to walk towards her but my actions are denied. I let my guard down, giving James the opportunity to lunge at me and collide into a nearby wall.

"Now , now, Lillian, that wasn't very nice. You just interrupted our little film. Your appearance isn't due until after I killed her, but I guess I'll just have to improvise!" He hisses, slamming my head against the wall and making the glass crack under his force. He stronger than me; I can feel it and that fear is making its way back.

"Hahaha! You should see the look on your face! You're scared Lillian…I can smell it on you, but that won't do. No, that won't do at all." His hands flex against my neck, making me gasp for unneeded air as my skin cracks. "What happened to that rage I saw earlier on the field? You're weak, just like your pathetic human!" I struggle against him as he presses further into my neck.

"-Rosalie, don't give up…fight!" My eyes flicker towards Bella, and the pain that I see there just angers me more; it fuels me. The sound of her erratic heart sends me over the edge; I can feel the venom pulsing into my dead veins.

"That's it Isabella. Give her false hope…tell her how much you love her!" He taunts, turning his attention towards Bella, which gives me an opening. "I maybe weak, but I'm strong enough to kill you!" I thrust my foot into his chest, sending him flying through the air and straight into a mirror. There's another crash in the distance and then a blur; I recognize the scent as Edwards.

"Edward!"

"-Go! You get Bella out of here, Ill handle James!" He blurs past me and collides with James. I take the opportunity to retrieve Bella; her blood permeates the air and I desperately try to get a hold of myself. The sound of random hissing and grunts resonate around the room. "I'm sorry." I say as I carefully pick her up; her body trembles against mine while she clutches my shoulders. A distinct cry of pain echoes in my ear; Edward's hurt but i have to get Bella out of here. I try to jump upwards but before I can react, James grasp my leg and I instinctively let go of Bella. In the process, she tumbles to the floor as I crash into an upper window.

"That wasn't very nice, Lillian. You're not playing fair! And now your poor brother has to suffer because of you." I look towards Edward, who's flailing about on the floor with two missing limbs; I instantly get angry.

"There it is! That's the look…the anger!" He smirks as he walks over towards Bella, and I inwardly curse myself for not being able to move. "So that's what it takes huh?" The smell of blood is stronger as he reaches for Bella. " Well, let's see how angry you get when I do this." I'm already pushing myself off the window as he says this, but the sound of Bella screaming tells me that I'm already too late; he's already bitten her. Nevertheless, we collide , creating a trail of destruction in our wake "My, my, where did this strength come from?" He laughs as I continuously thrash his body against the wall. "I'm not about to tell you!" His laughs taunt me, anger and provoke me further; I want nothing more than to see him gasp for false air as I end his life.

We struggle in a chaotic dance, me taking random swipes at his body as he constantly dodges them.

**Bella Pov**

My body pulses and thrashes against the floor as the burning crushes me. My vision is blurry and my head and leg throb, but that pain is nothing compared to the fire in my veins. I can hear growls, crashes and bodies colliding but the burning makes it hard for me to focus.

I try to focus on what I can, and I turn my head in time to see Rosalie throwing James, but his reaction time is lethal. James flips himself in midair and uses the wall to fling himself at Rose, but Rose doesn't waste any time either. She meets him full force in midair, and they both crash into a nearby pillar, but its Rosalie who comes out on top. They both growl and hiss as she thrashes him about; the animalistic but satisfied look on her face makes me wince.

The venom stuns me momentarily; its courses through my body, creating a strange excruciating feeling; the venom is cold but it creates this hot, burning sensations as it slowly devours my insides.

**Rosalie Pov**

I can feel it, smell it even….the fear. He might look smug but u can smell the fear radiating off of him. It satisfies me to no end; sends me over the edge, so I can't help the sadistic smile that creeps onto my face. "I told you I'd kill you if you hurt her." I hiss, tightening my hands around his neck.

"Now Lillian, you really shouldn't make false threats to your maker." He hisses back, flashing that cocking grin as he does so.

"You're not my maker…your nothing! And that wasn't a threat…." My teeth latches onto his neck, and I pull back, taking a chunk of flesh with me. "It's a promise!" He cries out in pain, which only makes me hungrier and more bloodthirsty to end his life. I want to kill him in the most painful way. The monster in me is unleashed and I welcome it. I welcome the thought of truly ending him, but the firm but gentle hand on my arm braces my inner beast. I look towards my father, my siblings and I just want to plead for them to allow me this one thing; allow me to finish it.

"Rose, remember who you are." My body trembles with want of revenge, but the voice in my head is telling me that he's right; I can't allow myself to be consumed by the beast within.

"Bella needs you." Her desperate cries spur a calm wave over me. So with a dissatisfied huff, I let go of my victim and allow Jasper and Emmet to handle it; by this time, Carlisle and Alice are already by Bella side as I just stand there in a daze.

"Oh god….Carlisle…the blood!" Yes, her blood is thick in the air, and the sound of Alice's shaky voice only confirms that thought of her having trouble. I walk over to her thrashing body with my mind in a chaotic daze. The site overwhelms me, makes the beast within ache with unspoken pain.

"Alice, we need you!" The sound of bones cracking and hissing resonate from across the room as Alice, Jasper, and Emmet end whatever existence James had left.

There's another cry, from Edward I presume, and then I hear the distinct sound of bones cracking; Alice is reattaching his limbs. It's a painful process and it takes awhile to fully get used to the new feeling.

Bella's cries bring me out of my thoughts and the only thing I can think to do is sit beside her.

"Her femoral Artery been severed, she losing too much blood."

"-No, no, no, it's my head...its burning!" I already know what's causing the burn and I want to stop it, but I don't know how.

"Its the venom, Carlisle."

"-You have to decide, Rose. You could let the change happen..."

"-No! I cant...I won't allow it!"

"Its gonna happen, Rose. You and I have both seen it."

"Yeah but...it doesn't have to be that way."

"She's still hemorrhaging. Alice, make me a tourniquet with your belt."

"Carlisle, what's my other option?" Her hands scratch at my legs and I cringe at the sound of her heart; it's like a battle drum.

"- Put it above my hands, Alice." Alice hands fumble and I can tell that she stopped breathing a long time ago.

"-Carlisle!" There's a brief pause and an audible sigh from Carlisle.

"You can either let it happen...or you can suck the venom out." I already I had an idea of what he would say, but it still didn't stop my sharp intake of air.

"You know I won't be able to stop!"

"You'll find the will."

"I...I can't..."

"-Do it, Rose!" Edwards voice is strained, and I can't help but wonder how they expect me to do this?

"Edward I.."

"-Please! Just...please don't let her become_... this._"

"Rosalie, whatever you're going to do, you need to do it fast!"

I take a deep breath and look towards the crumbling heap of mess in front of me. She's sweating and breathing so heavy; it provokes me, makes me want her more, but I know I have to look past the beast within.

"Bella...I'm gonna stop it..the pain. I'm gonna make it go away." I hold my breath as my lips graze the open wound on her arm. I try not to breath... to moan, to draw more of her , but I can't; her nectar is far too good.

"Rosalie, her blood is clean...you're killing her. Find the will to stop."

My mouth sucks harder as I grunt in response. I need to stop and I want to, but her life force just fills me in the most euphoric of ways.

"Find the will, Rose."

Her grunts are softer, breathing shallower and her heart is quieter. I want to stop but I don't know how. Her liquid fire tempts me further and I revel in it; her life force, her blood, her warmth, her sounds and smell. I just completely revel in her.

**Bella Pov**

My heart feels weak, and my vision is unfocused, but I feel euphoric. I can literally feel my life being drained from me, sending me into a blissful coma of darkness, but I welcome it. If this is how I'm suppose to die, here, in the arms of the one I love, then I gladly welcome death.

Death is peaceful...easy. Life? Not so much. They say that before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. That's only half true. The only thing that flashes in my mind as I continue to fade into oblivion, is the times I've spent with the Cullen's...with _her._ And it's the only thing I want to remember.


	21. The Aftermath

**A/N: So, as you can see, I finally updated for you guys. Things are wayyyy better for me now. My girl and I have worked out some things and we're back together:) I've learned a lot since our little split, but the most important thing I've learned is that I can infact live without her. It took me awhile to figure this out but yeah, I can. I would like to thank you guys for all your advice and support, it means soo much to me. But without further ado, here's your new chapter. Enjoy!**

**Oh, and this is a bit off subject but it absolutely needs to be said. So ya know what really grinds my gears about America? I'll tell you. What really grinds my gears about this country is when we take a good ass show and turn it into shit-on-shit. Case in point: Skins. Originally a classic British television show, but I'm afraid America has tainted its awesomeness. I'm so not a hater, but our adaptation of the show is utter bullshit. I mean the character are nowhere near as dynamic as the originals, and I'm just appalled by their choice of Effy fucking Stonem. I mean, nobody is EVER gonna compare to Kaya Scolderlario. She's beyond fucking hot! She could probably turn the straightest girl gay with just one look into her eyes. If you haven't seen the original then I suggest you do. Anyway, enough of my little rant.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or Twilight**

**The Aftermath**

My vision is unfocused as I come to, but I can still make out white; my first thought is that I'm in heaven. But when my eyes adjust to the very vivid figure in front of me, who looks an awful like my mother, I immediately dismiss that thought.

"Bella?"

"Mom?" My mind is hazy, and everything is just too bright.

"Bella, sweetie. It's okay, you're safe."

"Wher...where are they?"

"If by 'they' you mean Edward and Rosalie, then Edward went to get some coffee and Rosalie is over there sleeping in the chair. I don't even think they've been home at all."

"What..what happened?"

"Well, when you fell , you broke your leg and lost a lot of blood..."

"-What? fell?"

"You don't remember anything, do you?"

"Remember what exactly?"

"Edward came down with his dad to try to convince you to come back to forks. So you went over to their hotel, then you tripped and fell down two flights of stair. You fell through a window, Bella." Random images flashed through my mind, and I slowly started to remember what really happened. I couldn't help but inwardly laugh at how probable this story is.

"Yea, that sounds like me..."

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Phil's been texting me non-stop from Florida. You are so gonna love Jacksonville. It's sunny every day..."

"-Wait, Jacksonville?" What the heck is she talking about?

"Yeah. I thought you wanted to come live with me and Phil?"

"No, mom. I still wanna live in forks..with dad." The idea of leaving forks, of leaving..them, instantly makes my stomach turn.

"What?"

"I want to live in forks. I need to be here."

"Well, okay. We'll talk about it some more once you're better."

"Um, do you think you could get dad? I have to talk to him...apologize."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll go get em and you just relax." She hesitantly leaves, giving me time to wallow in my own pain. There's movement on my right, so I turn my head and I'm immediately met with sad, liquid gold eyes.

"So what really happened? Where's James?"

"We took care of it." She stands and walks over to me, and I could help but notice how void her face looks. "The women, Victoria, she ran off."

"Rosalie, please don't look like that. I'm alive because of you..."

"-No, you're in here because of me. And the worst part about it is that I didn't think I'd stop."

"But you did stop.."

"-Yeah, right after Edward practically tackled me and pinned me to the ground.." An awkward silence falls upon us for a moment, she sighs and runs her fingers through her long locks and then continues.

"Bella, you gotta go to Jacksonville so I can't hurt you anymore..." My heart instantly shatters. Is she serious? Does she not want me anymore?

"What?" My voice is gruff and nothing but a whisper, but I know she heard it.

"Are you serio...No! No! I don't even know what you're..how..WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!" Words are just flying out of mouth; words that are just jumbled and make no sense what so ever.

"You want me to go away?" She's looking at me with so much pain, so much hurt.. that it makes me hurt even more. "I cant...No! I won't! I cant...I can't leave you.."

"-Bella."

"No. I can't..we can't be apart..you can't leave me!"

**Rosalie Pov**

She's erratic, desperate even, which only makes this that much harder.

"Rose, I can't leave...you can't leave me.."

"I'm here. I haven't gone anywhere.." She continuously blinks her eyes, letting me know that she's on the verge of tears.

"Okay. Just don't...you can't say stuff like that to me..ever."

"Bella, where else am I gonna go?" The gentle kiss that I place on her head is reassuring; she settles into her bed more relaxed. I'm about to fully pull away when a certain thought crosses my mind. Even though I have had glimpses of this thought, or rather decision a few hours prior, it still causes my body to go rigid. Im so caught up in what was happening between Bella and myself that I hadn't even realized Edward had been watching us.

"Rose, is something wrong?" She shifts her head upward so that her eyes lock with my own, and I do my best to keep my face neutral; I don't want to put her through anymore pain.

"Of course, Bella. Everything's fine. I'm gonna go get some fresh air, so why don't you get some rest, okay?" There's a flash of panic in her eyes as she reaches for me.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll come back." I place another reassuring kiss to her forehead before walking out of the room and down the hallway; his scent is strong, so I know he's still in the hospital.

He's just about to walk out of the hospital as I'm coming off the elevator. "Edward." He tenses and immediately stops in his tracks. He sighs before turning around, readying himself for the mental conversation we're about to have, and flashes me that crooked smile. Only this time it doesn't quite reach the corners of his mouth.

"You're leaving." He chuckles sadly while running his fingers through his already disheveled hair.

"Should of known I'd never be able to get anything past you." He points and taps his head.

"Guess where a lot alike in ways," I say humorously.

"Ahh, yes. I suppose what we have is both a gift and a curse." There's a brief moment of silence between us.

"Edward , you can't. Esme, Carlisle...it'll break them."

"They'll be fine. You and I both know this isn't forever...they'll understand that I need this."

"Alice, Emmet, and Jasper? What about them?"

"Rose, this isn't anything new. If it weren't for Alice's or your visions, they wouldn't even know that id be leaving."

"What about me, Edward? And Bella? How do you think she's going to feel knowing that you're gone?"

There's another chuckle and a sigh. "She'll live, Rose. She has you to help pick up the pieces. She loves you."

"She loves you too, ya know?"

"Yeah, but she loves you more. As for you? Well, I honestly would of thought you'd be a bit more happy, seeing as though I'm out of the picture.."

"I'm not that much of a bitch, Edward. We might not get along ALL the time... but you're still my brother and I do care for you and your happiness.

"As do I, Rose. Listen, I won't be gone long. I just need..time, okay?" I know how much of a lonely soul Edward can be; solitude is his only piece of mind so how can I deny him that after everything?

"Okay, Edward. Just make sure you come back soon... for every ones sake." He nods his head solemnly.

"Thank you, Edward."

"For what?"

" For this... for letting me have her. For putting your own happiness aside for my own. I'm..I'm so very grateful for this..and..and I love you so very much." I'm not too surprised by the look on his face, for these words have never left my mouth before..until now.

"I..I love you too, Rose. Take care of her."

/

It's been about three weeks since the James incident; Bella was released from the hospital a week after . Edward hasn't left yet; he keeps his distance, avoiding school and Bella all together. His mind is still up made up about leaving, everyone except Bella knows this, but we just don't know when. Bella hasn't seen him since well, hours before the incident, and she's constantly asking me about him. I don't know what to tell her. He seems to be waiting for something...but what?

Prom is in a week or so, and I have yet to ask her about it even though I already know her answer, but I guess I can show some initiative.

"Bella." I say in a shaky voice as I grasp her wandering hands. I don't know if it was the whole near death experience or whatever, but since then, let's just say shy Bella aint so shy anymore. And I should welcome the fact that she's being quite assertive with her hands, but I just don't trust myself anymore. I've already tasted her blood once and my knowledge of how exquisite she taste is enough to put me in my place, which is far, far away from this situation. So kissing, touching? Yeah, not so much anymore, but of course she's not having any of that.

"Yes, Rosalie?" She whisper in a voice that's just as shaky as mine. I'm on my back, slightly leaning against her head board with my right arm around her waist. She's curled into my side, right leg slung over my waist and her right hand WAS drawing suggestive patterns very close to my naughty bits. And all of this seems and would be normal if it wasn't for that very distinct scent in the air; the scent of arousal. This is like her tenth time trying to initiate something and I've denied her every time.

"Please stop." And just like those other times, she throws a fit.

"Ugh!" She's doing her best to turn away from me, pouting with her arms folded across her chest just like a child not getting her way. But I'm afraid it's much too hard to get out of a vampires grasp; in realization of this, she settles for turning her head away from me.

"Bella..." I sigh, putting down the English book we were supposed to be reading for school, and give her my full attention. "Why do we always do this, Bella? Why do you always have to get so upset?"

"BECAUSE YOU WONT.." And even though I can't fully see her face, I can definitely smell the blush rising to her cheeks. I'll always find it amusing that she can go from sexually, assertive, Bella to shy Bella in a matter of minutes.

"I won't what, Bella?" I'm trying my hardest to keep an innocent look on my face.

"Because you won't touch me..kiss me..or do anything anymore.." She mumbles this, keeping her gaze from me; I can feel the venom pooling in my mouth as her blush intensifies. I swallow hard and ignore that pulsing, blue vein that's so clearly visible with the way her heads turned.

"Bella," I turn her head so that she looking at me; she so very embarrassed and frustrated. "You know why I can't. I don't want to hurt you anymore. I..I just don't think I have the strength." A look of understanding crosses her features, but its soon washed away by determination.

"Rosalie, you won't hurt me. I know you won't. Just please...please try? For me?"

"Bella.."

"Please, Rose? Just kissing, that's all I'm asking..nothing else." She's pleading now, holding onto my shirt with her puppy-dog eyes, and she knows I can't say no to that.

I sigh in defeat. "Alright, Bella. Kissing but that's it. And when I tell you to stop you have to do it, understand?" And just like that, her demeanor changes; she nods her head energetically and her yes like up with child like wonder.

"Well?" I finally say after a while of just sitting there and waiting for something to happen.

"Well what?" Oh my gosh, is she serious?

"Well I don't know. I thought you wanted to kiss?"

" Yeah I do..but I thought that you were going to..." She mumbles the last part as she blushes ,bites her lip and fiddles with her fingers. I choose not to comment as I lean in a bit. She notices this and leans in a bit more; not a moment later, I feel her eager mouth on mine. I find myself sighing into the kiss because it truly has been way too long. Her lips create a bitter-sweet taste in my mouth; she taste exactly how I picture heaven would if it were food.

Her hands grip at my shirt more roughly as my lips caress hers, and a moan escapes her mouth when I slowly thread my fingers in her hair. That leg is back over my hip once the kissing intensifies to lip sucking. Her scent is becoming stronger with each second; I'm slowly started to reach my breaking point, but its only when her tongue gently pushes past my lips and grazes my fangs that I fully break.

"STOP." I pull back and breathe in a bunch of unneeded air, which is a mistake because all I can smell is her; There's a whine that escapes me along with a low rumbling in my chest.

"I...I'm so sorry, Rose." She panting also and eyeing me guiltily, so I shake my head "no" in response. We finally catch our breaths , but there's more than a little bit of awkwardness. I mean, what exactly do you say after something like this? Thanks for the make out session? Yeah, I think not. So after what seems like five minutes of awkward silence, I take things into my own hands and ask her the question I've been dying to ask.

"Soo..about Prom...?" I watch in amusement as her features turn to that of utter disgust.

"Rose," She whines, "I don't do that...dancing or any of that stuff. It's stupid."

"Oh come on, Bella. It's an important right of passage. I mean, you only get to be in high school once...well technically for four years, but you know what I mean." She opens her mouth to say something, but stops when she sees the look on my face; I don't need to read her mind to know what she was thinking, and the whole "changing' conversation is not something I feel like arguing about at the moment.

"Why, Rose? Why do you want me to go to Prom when you didn't even go to yours?" She's in her stubborn mode right now but I'm not giving in so easily.

"Bella, sweetie. We didn't have Proms when I was growing up in the 1920's." She blushes at this realization, which only makes me laugh. "Well, I'm pretty sure you could of went last year or the year before that..."

"-That's because I had no interest."

"-Exactly! See, you agree that it's not at all interesting.."

"-What I mean to say is that I didn't have what I have now. So why would I waste my time amongst humans?" Well, shy Bella is back now. "It'll be a first for me too. Don't you want to share that with me?"

"Well, I mean, yeah. I just..."

"-Great! So Alice will pick you up on Tuesday for dress shopping."

"Wha...Oh come on, that's not fair! You did it, didn't you?"

"Did what, Bella?" I say innocently, knowing full well as to what she's referring to.

"Oh, don't you 'did what, Bella' me! You did it! That...that charmer or dazzler thing!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about.."

"Yeah, mhmm. I bet you don't."


	22. Prom and Goodbyes

**A/N: Long time no shut the hell up! Lol, nah just playing. So random thought but did you guys see the Mtv movie awards? Yeah, twilight made a killing. Dont get me wrong, im all for team twilight but I think some of those awards were a bit undeserving...just saying. On a lighter note, Kirsten is awkwardly sexy...and kind of annoying and Rob is...well he's pretty hilarious. Anywho, read and review.**

** Prom and Goodbyes**

"Alice, what the heck is that?" Shes currently holding up a rather revealing piece of material; its black, very womanly, and the sides are missing.

"Its a cut-out Teddy..." (check out victoria secret lingerie catalog online. This is under the corsets+teddies; its the black cut-out halter teddy)

"A what!"

"A Teddy. Its sexy, right?"

"Yeah, which is why I wont be wearing it.."

For the past hour or so, we've been to about ten different stores looking for prom dresses. Luckily for me I ended up finding my dress in the third store; the downside is that it was well over five hundred bucks. Thats nothing to Alice of course, who's paying for all this, despite my protest, but for me? Yeah, thats alot.

So why have we visited seven others stores you ask? Its simple really; the other stores just so happen to have a wide arrange of _lingerie. _And according to Alice, every young woman should own at least one piece of sexy lingerie. And what better day to wear it then on the day of prom? Too bad those arent my exact sentiments on the matter.

"Oh come on, Bella! Its not that bad..."

"Not that bad! Alice, look at it..its not even somewhat modest..."

"Just think of it as a bathing suit..."

"None of my bathing suits look like this! My ass doesnt hang out..."

"Come on, Bella...please?" She hitting me those same puppy-dog eyes she been giving me all damn day, but I cant give in.

"Forget it, Alice.

"Ugh, you're so stubborn, Bella."

"Yeah, and you're so wrong if you think im actually gonna try that on..."

"-Well, I hate to break it to you, Bella-bear, but I dont _think..._I know you are." She says, flashing me a mischievous look before turning on her heels and 'acting' as if she returning the offending piece of material. "Its a shame though. Rosalie was so gonna enjoy ripping it off of you after prom..." She practically sings this afterthought while walking away, making me even more irritated.

I feel like screaming and stomping around like a petulant child; shes been pulling this crap all damn day. Making little comments about what _could _happen after prom. And let me tell you, im so tryna make whatever she saw happen, and thats the only reason why shes getting away with any of this. So like so many times before, I sigh in defeat and give into her demands.

"Wait," she immediately stops in her tracks and turns around so that shes facing me; I can tell she doing her best to look innocent. New flash: its not working out too well.

"Yessss, Bella?" Shes eying me expectantly with mirth in her eyes.

"Give me the stupid thing." She most definitely does not try to hold back her glee; shes bouncing around like a kid who just discovered sugar.

"Yay! You so wont regret this, Bella."

"Yeah, yeah. I better not..."

**20 minutes later**

"So, have you thought about telling Charlie about you and Rose?" I immediately cringe at this. Of course I thought about it...im _always _thinking about.

"Yeah, I have...but I dont know," I begin, playing with the straps on my temporary cast. "I want to just get it over with..but I dont how he's gonna react."

We're driving down the high, or rather speeding; its about an hour drive back home. Lets just say that Alice likes to go out her way to shop sometimes.

"I think you should do it tonight, Bella." I turn my gaze towards her and eye her skeptically.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Well, lets just say that I've got a good feeling is all..."

"Yeah. Seems like you've been getting alot of 'good' feelings lately." I retort dryly, which only makes her that much more amused.

"What can I say? Guess Im just in a _feel good _type of mood."

"So, that pretty much means that you saw me telling him today?"

"Yup"

"Well, what happens?"

"Silly, Bella. You should already know that im just gonna give away such juicy details. You're just gonna have to wait until you get home.

"Get home! So soon Alice? Jeeze, thought I'd at least have a few more hours...do I at least get to relax for a minute?"

"Not telling..." Her little mind games are really starting to get old and frustrating.

"Im so not ready for this..."

"Yeah, well you better get ready, cause we'll be there shortly." not even ten minutes after she says this, we're already pulling into the driveway.

"How the heck to you do that?"

"Well ima vampire of course. Now stop dilly-dallying...dont want to keep charlie waiting...or someone else.."

"What was that?"

"Ohh, nothing," she replies in a sing-song voice while flashing me a toothy grin.

"You are so random sometimes, I swear..."

"So I've been told. Buttt listen. I gotta jet, so please do tell charlie I said hello..seeya!"

And just like that, she peels out of the drive way, leaving me staring like an idiot.

_Jeeze, could of waited til i went in the house...and I almost jammed my foot in her stupid door!_ I grumble to myself as I cross the threshold.

I try my best to avoid the living room at all cost, because im so not ready to have _that _conversation. But of course, luck is never on my side and things dont always go as planned.

"Hey, bells? Come in here for a sec..."

_Freaking great._ "Um okay. Just give me a minute," Is my response; im fishing through the fridge for a bottled water, cause suddenly im feeling a little parched.

"Yeah, da..." My words are caught in my throat when I round the corner; occupying the coach along with Charlie is Rosalie.

"Hello, Bella." Oh gosh! Im about three second away from completely melting; her voice alone is like liquid heat.

"R-rose...what are you doing here?"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood about an hour ago. So I thought I'd stop by in see if you were here, which obviously you weren't..but its fine. I've been getting to know Charlie...and watching the game. The Philies are killin em..."She gives a cheeky grin before pointing to the television. "Here. Come sit and watch," she pats the empty spot next to her, and theres no way in hell im denying her.

I have absolutely no clue as to what's happening in the game; Rosalie's trying to explain but im afraid my attention is way too focused on her lips..and arms that are securely wrapped around me.

"Dont be scared, okay?" My only reaction is to stare up at her in confusion.

"What are you..."

"Um, Bells...something you want to tell me?" As he says this, he gazes upon our joined hands with an raised eyebrow.

"Um, well I..."

"-Im in live with your daughter, Chief Swan." Whoa! She could give a girl a little more warning next time.

Even though it was only mere minutes, it felt like we were sitting there for hours in awkward silence.

"Right," he coughs into his hands, a nervous habit, before continuing. "And uh...how bout you, Bells?are you...lesbian or..."

"-I...I love her. And only her, dad."

"I see. Well I cant say that this isnt a shocker...but if she makes you happy..then by all means..."

"Wait, thats it? You're not gonna flip out or anything?"

"Bells, your my daughter. I love you unconditionally...I dont care who your with. Just as long as they treat you right."

"Wow, I totally didnt see that one coming..."

"You will have to tell your mother, though. Think she was hoping for some grand-kids later on, but yeah..." I feel Rosalie stiffen at his words; I dont need to look at her to see that she hurting...children are sore subject for her. "Well, im sure glad I dont have to worry about that so soon since Edwards out of the picture..."

"Dad, please...mom already knows, okay?"

"Of course she does...why am i always the last to know about these things?" He grumbles more to himself. "Just know that the same rules apply now. Just because your a girl, I wont be giving you any slack...and ya know, just because you dont have the equip..."

"-Oh my god, dad, please, we are not having this conversation..."

"All Im saying is that your my little girl and I expect Rosalie to respect that."

"Most definitely, sir."

"Right. Well as long as we're on the same page."

"Definitely on the same page, sir. But uh, I gotta start heading home. Forgot I still gotta help my mom with dinner..." It most certainly is a lie; an attempt to get out of this situation and get me alone. I dont blame her.

"Oh, um okay. You sure you cant stay a little longer...the games getting good..."

"Yeah im sure. The boys get a little ancy when they're hungry...dont want to keep them waiting too long."

Well, okay. It was good hanging with you, Rose. You should come watch the game more often...Bella's no fun when it comes to these things."

"Yeah, I've noticed. Guess we'll have to get her out of that, huh?" She teases, gently poking my arm as we walk to the door.

"I'll see you in a few?"

"You know it," she leans down and gentle plants a kiss to my lips.

"You guys better not be getting all touchy feely over there..."

Oh god.

"Of course not, Mr. S. Just uh..giving Bella a friendly hug is all..."

"Yeah. Mhmm."

**Bedroom: Bella's Pov**

"Rose, you know he didnt mean anything by what he said..."

"Its fine, Bella..."

"Its not fine, Rose. I know how you feel about..."

"-Bella, can we please just drop it?" My only reply is to bury my face into her neck

I came up to my room not even a minute after she "left," and she of course was patiently waiting for me on my bed, looking rather solemn. I know the cause of her anguish, even if shes too stubborn to admit it herself.

"So how'd the trip go? And where's your bags?" Subject changer!

"Oh? So you dont already know how horrible it was?"

"Well, I dont particularly know in detail how _awful _ it was for you. I only see bits and pieces or nothing at all, remember? But I do have somewhat of an idea..." I dont have to look at her to see the amusement etched across her features, I can practically hear it in her voice.

_Wonder if shes seen what's going to happen after prom?_ Its bad, I know, but I cant help but grin at my lecherous thoughts.

**Prom: Rosalie's Pov**

"Sooo...about those Dodgers?" I say, fiddling with my glass of water. Yeah, trying to come up with a conversation is proving to be a bit awkward right now. At this very moment, he's thoughts keep playing around the idea of me sexually "wooing" his daughter, which obviously doesn't seat right with him. I find myself grimacing along with him at particular thought; the thought of him dismantling my limbs should anything go wrong tonight. And by wrong I mean sexually. I dont know what happened, but the two weeks that followed the whole "Im in love with your daughter" incident, Charlie just kind became this overbearing/protective dad. Maybe it took him awhile for things to sink in...or maybe he just got tired of catching us locking lips? Whatever the reason, its making things alot harder for us. I mean what happened to" you should come watch the game more often?" Yeah, I think not.

He grunts in response to my question, and lets just say that Im inwardly ecstatic at knowing Bella's about to descend the stairs.

Charlie and myself meet her at the foot of the stairs, and I find myself just awestruck by the figure before me. She looks beautiful( I chose to use that white dress K-Stew wore to one of the New Moon premieres, I think) I mean I had visions of what she could possibly look like, but they did her no justice; shes absolutely breathtaking.

"Is it too much? I mean I begged Alice not to over do it...and the this stupid cast thingy..." I think I must be staring to hard because shes getting a little self -conscious.

"Its perfect." And it is perfect. Its the perfect contrast to my own dress(Google images- scarlett_Johansson_) Its fitting really; White vs black. The pure(white) Beauty and the tainted(black) beast. Because thats what I am...a monster, a tainted, black beast whose in love with this beauty.

"Dont worry, Mr. S. I'll take care of her." I say, helping Bella down the last step.

"Yeah, just dont take care of her _too_ much...understand?" I raise an eyebrow as my lips curve into a thin line. Can you say awkward?

"Yeahhhhh. Im just gonna wait for you outside, Bella...later Mr.S." _Much later._

**Bella's Pov**

"Really, dad? Awkward much?"

"What? Im just trying to look out for you is all..."

"Righhttt. Well, I appreciate your concern, but I really dont wanna have this conversation right now...or ever. Sooo..I"ll see ya later.."

"Bells, wait.."

"Yeah?" I turn around midway from the door and face him.

"You, uh...you look beautiful." He embraces me, and its something we rarely do, but I find myself enjoying the feeling and reaching for him more; he smells like a mixture of cinnamon, aftershave, and cigarettes.

"Okay, kiddo. Go enjoy yourself."

The ride there is nerve racking. Im not really nervous about prom, but im more nervous about _after prom._

It takes us a little over a half an hour to get there, and I can tell by the overwhelming amount of cars that its a full house.

"Wait here. I'll be back, okay?" I nod my head as she helps me to a near by bench.

"Bella!" My eyes immediately latch onto Jacob when I turn my head. He's leaning against a tree and as he begins to approach, I notice someone else.

"Jacob, hey..."

"Wow. You look...great."

"Yeah, you too. Are you crashing the prom or something? Is that your date?" I nod my head towards the brunettes, who seems to enjoy glaring dagger at me.

"Pssh, her? Nah, thats my cousin, Leah. You remember her. Shes harry daughter...she used to beat us up all the time?"

"Ahh. Yeah I remember...she hated me back then and would seem like old habits die hard, huh?"

"Nah, she just being...Leah."

"So what's up?" He bites his slips and sits down beside me...nervously might I add.

"Umm, okay. My dad sent me here to talk to you..." He shrugs his shoulders after he says this. "Twenty bucks," he adds with a smile.

"Well, lets hear it..."

"Just...dont get mad, okay? He wants you to stay away from the Cullens. He said quote, 'we'll be watching you..." Theres a small pause before we erupt in small fits of laughter. "Okay, well...tell em thanks...and to pay up!"

"Yeah, definitely. Oh wait, here let me help you..." He moves to help me stand but is denied by Rosalie, who looks rather pissed. She maneuvers so that shes in front me, almost in a protective stance, which causes both Jacob and Leah to tense. "I think I can handle it from here..."She turns slightly and places her arm around my waist.

"Guess I'll see you around, Bella."

"Um, yeah." I say, turning my head to look at the tensed, fleeting back of Jacob.

"Jeeze. I leave you alone for a second and the wolves descend." I playfully shove her at this comment, but laugh nonetheless.

"I still cant believe you're making me do this..."

"Smile," she commands as a brief flash of light blinds me.

As soon as we enter, I spot my small clan of friends doing their own thing; Ang and Eric at the dj booth, and Jess, Mike, and Tyler are all attempting to dance. And we try to mingle ourselves but its kind of hard to do that when we're constantly being bombarded with questions. The two main ones being" where's Edward?" and "Are you gay now?" I mean jeeze, they just automatically assume that im gay because im with Rose. Technically they're right, but still. Cant a girl just go with a friend, that is a girl, nowadays? But I find honesty to be the best policy, so each time they asked me I told them the truth. I said "I dont know where Edward is and yes we're together." Most didnt really seem too pressed about it, but some were a bit disappointed. Case in point: Mike Newton.

" You uh...you wanna go somewhere quieter?"

"Yes. Wayyyy quieter." She guides us outside to a canopy(I dont know what that thing is called). Its brightly lit and much more peaceful than inside.

"Shall we?"

"You're...you're serious?" I eye her skeptically. "Ohhh, why not?" She replies while bringing our bodies closer together. She lifts me up off the ground and places me onto her now bare feet.

"Rose, my cast...im not hurting you am I?"

"Bella, you can hurt me, but not physically." She giving me this really intense look and as much as I want to look away, I cant.

"See. You're dancing." She smiles, guiding us in a gently waltz.

"Yeah...and at prom." I add with my own smile. I lean in so that my head is resting against her shoulder and I just let this feeling wash over me. Her presence, her touch, her smell; I let her completely wash over me.

"You mind if I cut in?" Im startled by the familiar voice to my right, making me pull away from Rose temporarily.

"Ed...Edward..."

"You look beautiful, Bella." He smiles one of those dazzling smiles and holds his hand out to me. "May I?" I eye Rosalie, who seems just as shocked as I am and wait for her approval. She doesnt say anything, she just smiles and steps away from me.

Edward immediately envelopes me into his arms, and Its now that I realize just how much I've missed him.

"I missed this...I missed you, Bella." He breathes in my hair and exhales slowly. "I...I missed you too, Edward. I thought you were..."

"-Gone?" He pulls back so that he can look me in the eye. They're golden like the sun, like _hers. _"No, not gone. At least not yet...I wanted to leave before, but I couldnt...not until I saw you...not until this very moment."

Not until this very moment? What does he mean? And then realization hits me like ton of bricks. "You're...you're leaving! You...you cant! Dont, please...if I did something then Im sorry..just please dont!" Im frantic now, and I know I dont have the right to be so selfish right now... but I cant help it. He's been out of sight for so long already, and I thought for sure that I'd get over it..but now? Having him standing here in front me, telling me that he's going to leave me yet again is way too much.

"Shh, Bella. It'll be fine. Rosalie's here...and it wont be for long, I promise..."

"Edward, please...please dont leave. Im sorry...im sorry for hurting you, and making things complicated and..."

"Bella, never apologize. You understand?" He wipes at my face, which is glistening with tears. "Never apologize for any of this. You cant help who you fall in love, sweetheart. And yes, it hurts me...but time heals all...and thats exactly what I need, okay? Just give me some time..." I cant respond, it hurts to much to respond verbally, so I choose to show my understanding physically. I raise up on my left foot and itch closer until our lips meet; there is no hesitance, no thinking...just the feeling of his lips on mine. I let out a quiet sob into his mouth and reach for him more; I have to hold onto this moment.

"I love you, Bella...always" He whispers into my ear as I try to hold on to his scent, his feeling and embrace. But then, just like that, the feelings gone...he's gone.

I feel dizzy, off balance...I feel like falling. And as soon as I think thats what going to happen, I feel cold arms embrace me. I look up at my protector through teary eyes; its Rosalie.

"Rose..he..he's gone..."

"Yes, Bella...he's gone." She looks back at me solemnly and its enough to make my world come crashing down; I sob and clutch onto her for dear life.

"Its my fault...he leaving because of me.." This is the only thing I can mumble as she hums and rubs my back soothingly.

"Shh, no more tears. He'll be back, Bella."

**Rosalie's Pov**

Shes crying for him, because he's leaving...and because she no doubt feels responsible. Theres nothing I can really do but let her cry on my shoulder and whisper how everything will be okay. I wish I could do more, take her pain away, but I dont know how.

Shes settling down now. Her whimpers and sobs have stop, but she lets out small sniffles here and there; I absentmindedly guide us back into a slow waltz.

"Rose," she sniffles. "Why did you safe me?" Where the hell is this coming from? Is she catatonic...out of mind? "If you had just let the venom spread, I could be like you right now." She mumbles onto my shoulder, making me tense as her words. Yeah, she could be like a monster.

"You dont know what you're saying."

"I do know what Im saying...I know what I want!" She lifts her head so that I can see the determination in her eyes. Why is she so determined to die?

"You dont want this, Bella.."

"I want you...always." She looks away when she sees the look of pain and frustration on my face. "Its so easy for you guys to leave...to just leave everything behind like its nothing. You wont want me when im old and dying." Understanding crosses my features. So thats it? Thats why shes saying this? She thinks that I'll leave her, but if I change her I wont be able to run away from her? "You'll leave just like Edward..."

"Bella, im not going anywhere and Im not ending your life!"

"Cant you see? Im..im already dying...each second...everyday I get closer...im dying, Rose." I shake my head solemnly. "It doesnt matter. Thats the way its suppose to be, Bella..."

"-No, Im suppose to be with you forever! Alice said...she said she saw me. She saw me like you..a vampire...I know you saw it too..."

"-Our visions change, Bella. You know that..."

"Yeah, based upon what people decide...and I've decided..."

"Bella," I begin, warningly but im completely dismissed:

"I want you forever, Rose."

"And this is what you dream about? Becoming a monster..."

"I dream about eternity...with you."

"Eternity?" I whisper, leaning in and gentle caressing her face.

"Yes. Eternity.."

"And you're ready right now?" My touch moves to the base of her neck, in which I hold as I continuously move closer and closer to _that _spot.

"Yes." She pants, clutching my shoulder with her trembling hands.

"For eternity." I close my eyes as my lips caress the soft skin of her neck; Ive never felt her blood reach out to me more, than right...at this very moment. But instead of indulging like I so desperately want to, I suck in a bunch of unneeded and and pull back slightly.

"Live for me, Bella. Cant that just be enough? Living a long happy life with me?" She eyes me curiously and smiles.

"Yeah...for now at least." I can help but grin; she so stubborn.

**Bella's Pov**

Her eyes enrapture me. They bring me closer, so close that I can feel her breathe tickling my skin. And when our lips meet, I completely surrender; this kiss is like no other. Its so heartfelt, tender, and it just conveys all her emotions without her even uttering a single word.

She pulls back, leaving panting and leans her forehead against mine.

"Wow."

"Yeah...wow."

"That...definitely should of been our first kiss." she smiles as I bite my bottom lip. Somewhere along the line our hands intertwine, making it harder to focus let alone breathe. My gaze returns to her face, which seems to have a look of confusion and curiosity; she looks so beautiful...so human.

I can faintly hear my heartbeat through my ears...its beating so fast at the realization of what im about to say.

"Theres...theres still time for our _other _first."

**A/N: Yup, im a asshole...totally left you with a cliffy. Lol, not even sure I should call it that since we all know what's going to happy. Oh yeahhh...sexy smexy time!**


	23. Bella's First

**A/N: Okay, so im just giving you a heads up. Im not all that great when it comes to writing sex scenes, in my opinion anyway, so please bare with me. Its not going to all smutty because this is Bella's first time, and first times should be loving, tender and heartfelt. So here it is, read and review or die! Lol, nah, just playing:D**

**-Oh and one quick thought. Ice totally got a new celebrity girl crush on Natasha Yarovenko. I recently just saw her in a movie called **_**Room in Rome**_**, and omfg, shes hot, naked and doing alot of sexing! If you haven't seen it, then please do! But im warning you, I have no clue as to what its about exactly...all I know is that theres two hot chicks going at it. Thats really all you really need to know, right? Anywho, shes my new profile pic, and I cant help but think that she looks an awful lot like Rosalie:) I'd also like to thank everyone for reading and enjoying my crappy story, and yes, IM aiming to continue this on towards breaking dawn at least.**

**Bella's First**

_There's still time for our other first..."_

My only reaction is the sound of air being sucked through my teeth as I grip her waist tighter.

Its true; I had seen glimpses of what could possibly happen, but as I've said before, they're not set in stone. Bella hadn't made up her mind, or she at least wanted me to think that she didnt, which explains the whole blotchy vision thing Ice got going on.

"Bella," I begin, and as if she already knows what im about to say, she completely cuts me off.

"Wait, before you say anything...just let me say this." She visibly gulps and takes a few breaths before continuing. "Rose, I love you. And...I meant it when I said I want this...us forever. But since I cant fully have that...yet, I want to have all of you and I want you to have all of me...physically. I want you to be my first..."

"-But.."

"-No buts. Just...just for tonight, I dont want there to be anymore buts or doubts..."

"Bella, no...I cant..." She furrows her brows in seems to be anger. Dont get me wrong, I want to do this...but I cant. I dont want to hurt her anymore.

"Cant or wont?"

"Both..." I loath myself for bringing about the frown on her face.

"-You...you dont want me?"

"Bella, no! God no! I want you...badly. Its just...you...you know what could happen and..."

"-Yeah, what _could _happen. We haven't even tried and you're already putting me off!"

"Im not putting you off, Bella! Im tryna make you understand that its hard for me...even more so now that I've tasted your blood. I dont have all the restraint I used to have...you and I both know that. I mean, do you realize how badly I just wanted rip your throat out a few minutes ago?"

And its true; there were so many times, even now, that I just wanted to dip my fangs into her jugular and suck. Suck like my un-dead life depended on it and ultimately end my sweet little Bella's life.

"I understand that it sings to you but..."

"No, you dont understand...its _constantly_ singing to me. So imagine...just imagine how loud its gonna be calling for me if we actually do this..." She stares at me...or rather frowns at me..more; it looks as if shes about to reply but my cellphone cuts her off.

I hold up my finger, silently asking for Bella to give me a minute and let my finger graze the "answer" key.

"What the fuck, Alice!" I practically hiss into the phone, but also being very careful of Bella open ears.

"Why Hello to you too, dear sister."

"-Cut the crap, Alice! You saw this, didnt you?"

"-Of course I saw...I practically told her it was going to happen..."

"What the hell! Why would you even put something like that in her head! You've seen what happens..."

Me, making sweet, passionate love to my Bella. Watching the faces she makes as she climax, right before I drain her of her essence.

"I didnt put anything into her head, _Rose. _She chose it...just like she chose you. And No, I haven't seen what's _going_ to happen. I've seen what _could _happen..."

"Same damn thing..."

"-Its not the same, Rose and you know it. Like seriously... you and Edward need to get over yourselves! Shes being so willing...so brave for you, Rose...so why cant you?"

"I...I..."

"And yes, I understand that you're scared of hurting her, but you have to trust in your own abilities. She trust you and I trust you...so trust yourself." As she says this, my eyes flicker over towards Bella; she eying me curiously while tapping her foot impatiently.

As much as I want to tell them both that they're wrong, that this whole thing is a mistake...I cant. Because I do want this...I want her. Shes knows the consequences and yet shes being so brave, and so confident in me...how can I deny her?

"Alice," I finally sigh. "You're right. I...I want this just as much as she does...and...and I want to try. But...I dont really know how to...ya know?" I trail off at the end, hoping that she gets my meaning.

"-How to what, Rose?" Gah! Do I really have to spell it out for her?

"How to, ya know...do _it..._" And I dont. The most we've ever done was making out and I've squeezed her but a couple times, but thats it.

"Oh. Ohh! Well um...I would imagine that its no different from touching yourself. Butttt I mean, just...just do what feels right..."

"How am I suppose to know what feels right to her. Shes gonna be expecting me to lead and we're both two different people. What feels good to me might not feel good to her..."

"Dont worry, she'll definitely show you...and...it'll all just come naturally." She laughs.

"Ugh, I just...I want this to be perfect for her. I mean, if theres a chance I might kill her...then it should at least be perfect, right?"

"Rose, stop worrying. You're not gonna kill her...and this will be perfect. And to make sure you have a perfect evening...I've managed to get everyone out of house."

"Oh? And how'd you manage that?"

"I told em you and Bella were gonna have mad, crazy, sex..."

I cant do anything but laugh at this. "Wow. Thats very subtle of you..."

"Yeah, well...honesty is the best policy. Now stop chit-chatting and go get your girl!" She quickly hangs up before I can respond, leaving me to dwell on things to come.

I turn around to face my fears.

"Bella..."

**Cullen Home**

"Wow. Rose, its...amazing." Bella says, stepping out her sweater and eyeing the house. Its dimly lit with the smell vanilla and Jasmine permeating the air; there are candles aligning every corner of the house from what I can see.

We've just arrived home from a thirty minute drive, which consisted of Bella fidgeting with what seemed to excitement. I basically had to stick my head out the window because she she didnt think it was bad enough that I had to endure her constant blushing, oh no, she had to make it quite apparent that she was _too _excited.

I had told her that I wanted to be brave...that I wanted to try, but she had to be for certain. The only confirmation I got was the feeling of her lips on mine. Thats more than enough confirmation, right?

"How did you manage to do all this?"

"I didnt...Alice did it." I say, swallowing that lump of venom that always seems to never go away. It's probably because her blush _never_ goes away.

"Oh," she says, biting her lip in that unintended sexy way.

"So um...you hungry? I think Esme left you some stuff in the kitchen..."

"Im not hungry...for food." Is her unexpected sultry reply as she blushes and bites her lip; she walks over to me and shyly takes my hand.

"You sure you're not...ya know, cuz I could warm it up and.." Freaking hell, im rambling like an idiot. How'd it go from me being the confident and her being the shy one, to her taking charge and me being so damn nervous?

Im not the only one though. Her hands are trembling as she leads us upstairs, cast clanking against each step, and I can practically feel her pulse beating so rapidly. Its setting me ablaze.

Im already panting by the time we make up the stairs and we haven't even done anything. "Rose, are you okay?" She asks, looking back when she notices we've stopped moving...or rather I stopped moving.

Im standing stock still in this hallway with my head down. She asks again but the only response she gets is my labored breath. I can smell her, feel her every breath and its driving me crazy.

_Take her, Rosalie. Take her against this wall, make her scream, moan and pant and then when its all said and done...indulge. Indulge in her very life source_. Thats what my instincts are telling me as I suddenly pin her against the wall making her gasp. My lips latch onto hers in a hurried kiss, which she tries to match. _Silly girl, dont encourage me...push me away_. My touch and kiss are hurried, yet also very careful; careful not to scratch...to _bite. _

And then theres a certain change in her heart rate; the rhythms different...its strained. Its small but its enough to make me pull back. She holds onto me, gasping and panting for air as she does so.

"Sorry," I pant out in my own breathless voice. She leans her forehead against mine and gazes into my pitch black eyes.

"You should..."

"-I know. I need to go hunt. It wont take long...just...go relax in my room, okay?"

**Rosalie's Room: Bella's Pov**

I inhale deeply as I pace her room; the aroma is different in here. It smells of lavender and summer rain..it smells like her.

I take in the entirety of her room; theres rose petals everywhere, including the bed, lights dim, with soft music is playing in the background.

_Should I take off my dress, Or let her do that? Do I lay on the bed, and how should I lay?_ I let these minor thoughts linger in my head as I peer into the bathroom; its dark, aside from the light emanating from the candles around the tub. Im so deep in thought that I dont even notice the presence behind me, not that I would even if I weren't in deep thought, but its only when I feel something cool and moist on my shoulder that I become aware.

"Why so serious?" She mumbles and smirks against my skin, while hugging me from she seems to be her normal, confident self now that shes fed.

"Just wondering...how you wanted me," I whisper, turning around to meet her gaze. In an instant, her golden iris dilate, making something squelch in the pit of my stomach

"Are you...feeling better?" Im kissing her lips now, and trying my best to steady the trembling fingers working the zipper of her dress. Her reply is to kiss back, but this kiss is tangy and bitter; I cant help but make a strange face.

"Thats the venom" Wonder why I never tasted it before?

"Venom? Wont that like..."

"No. Once it mixes with the enzymes in your saliva it becomes harmless.."

"Ah. So how come I never tasted it before?"

"You have...barely, but you've tasted it. Its more potent now because..well im excited...really _excited_. Cant you smell the pheromones?"

I inhale deeply, and sure enough, my head starts to spin; its dizzy. The first time I ever smelt pheromones was a week ago when I came over to study, rights after Jasper and Alice just so happened to be doing some _studying _of their own. It was so strong that I literally almost passed out.

"Yeah...I definitely smell it...and feel it..." Vertigo sets in and I lose my footing; she of course catches me and places me on the bed.

"Sorry. I'll try to tone it down." Shes hovering over me on her left side and eying me adoringly. "You're so beautiful, Rose..." She looks taken aback by my words; she shakes her head, letting me know she about to retort but I silence her with my lips.

"Clothes." Is all I manage to hear before she pulls away. She sits up, straddling my waist and in one swift move she completely rips the dress off her skin.

"Eager are we?" I tease, raising an eyebrow to which she just shrugs her shoulders. "No more than you." I cant help the weary feeling I get as she eyes my dress.

"Rose, no! Alice will kill me if you rip my...," Theres the distinct sounding of fabric ripping before I can finish "dress."

"-I'll get her another." I feel exposed under her gaze. I dont know why I do, and its not in a bad way...I just feel...wanted.

"Bella, you look...wow. I cant even like form the words to tell you how...just amazing you look.

I look amazing? Did she not look in the mirror? Shes wearing a black satin lace bra thats barely containing her breast and a matching pair of thongs that do nothing to hide her naughty place; their visibly see through...and I mean _see-through!_

I cant do anything but stare at it. I mean its right there in my face! I sit up so that im eye level with her neck, with her, still straddling my waist. "ya know, for someone who was so obviously against all this tonight. You sure do dress the part..." My eyes seem to have a mind of their own because no matter how hard I try, they just seem to stay glued to her lovely, lovely breasts.

**Rosalie's Pov**

shes staring, ogling really, while biting her lip and clutching the sheets; I've never see her look so raw, so hungry.

"Bella," She peers up at me through her lashes, body flushed and humming with arousal, and her look is unintentional but I've just about had it.

I push her back against the bed, interlocking our fingers and begin lapping at her skin. She makes a muffled sound; something in-between a moan and a whine, and pushes upward, arching her back into me. I shift so that my hips are wedged between her legs, being careful her healing leg.

I pause at the apex of her breast and lean my forehead against her skin; my nostrils flare at the scent emanating from in-between her legs. I inhale a few times before taking the fabric of her teddy in my teeth and slowly rip it, leaving only the piece covering her _lower_ half.

Her breast stand firm, perky, and nipples very erect. I watch her reaction through hooded eyes as my finger dance across the pink skin or her left nipple. She bites her lip harder, but it not quite the reaction Im looking for, so instead I let my tongue do the teasing. Sure enough, her head lulls to the side and she lets out a soft moan. _Thats better._

I find a good rhythm; licking, sucking and softly grazing the skin. She squirms, arching off the bed, and rubs her center against my stomach.

Theres a thunder in my chest at the feeling of her, grinding so deliciously against me. Shes wet...very wet and in knowing that shes wet..for me, my lips suck harder at her flesh, almost forgetting that shes human..._almost. _She hisses and I immediately let go of her skin with a wet "pop."

I've made no cuts or open wounds. Thats something that I definitely would Notice, but the skin is darker, letting me know that it will more than likely bruise.

"Shit. Im sorry, Bella..." I pant, messaging the tender flesh. She shakes her head and briefly closes her eyes, inhaling and exhaling as she does so. "No, its okay...it feels great but," she takes the hand thats messaging her breast, the right one, and slowly guides it down her body. "No more teasing. Please, I need...I need you to touch me...here." Im touching the skin of her heated center, making her moan at my cool touch, just before I let out a moan of my own.

"God, Bella...you smell so good. And you're so wet. So, so, wet..." She grips my wrist tighter, stilling my hand, and making me grit my teeth.

"Rose, please," she whines, releasing my hand and clutching the sheets as her body twists with want.

I close my eyes, willing myself to continue, and let my fingers grasp the tattered fabric of her lingerie. I rip its remnants and im instantly hit with a new wave of her scent.

I lean forward, eyes still closed and rest my head against her heart. I love listening to her heartbeat; it beats so loud and hearing it through her makes me feel so alive.

Pulling away slightly I place a kiss near her heart and then lean into the crook or her neck. My right hand returns to her hot center and slowly starts to explore her outer lips and clitoris.

"Bella, im going to make love to now. So I need you to try to relax...so that I can relax." And this is the most important thing I can say, because if shes not relaxed when I break through her, taking her virginity, and spilling the only evidence she has of her purity,(blood) things could go very wrong in a matter of minutes.

I spread her moisture around a bit and still my hand at her entrance. "Are you ready?"

**Bella's Pov**

Shes whispering in my ear now, asking me if Im ready, placing soft kisses against my cheek, and then tells me she loves me.

"I love you too-ahhhhhh...!" Its the only thing I manage to get out because the pain, the feeling of her penetrating me is far too much to bare. I grab at her shoulders as the tears flow freely, and I just pray that this pain will be a one time thing. Theres a growl that alerts me her stiff form. I pull back and im greeted with eyes that seem even darker than before. She constantly grits her teeth as her chest heaves and rumbles. _Crap_

"Rose, are you okay...can you hear me?" Her nose flares in response and the sound of fabric, the sheets, being torn by the left side of my head can be heard.

"Rose, please, please tell me your here with me. Please tell me you can do this..." Im holding her face in my hands as she trembles and shakes her head. Without meaning to, my heart picks up, alerting her more.

"Rose, please..." I beg, recoiling as she bares her teeth and leans inward towards my neck. And this very moment is what you call fear; fear because this just may be the end. Ice pushed her beyond her limits and this is the result of that...death.

Shes closer now, so close that I can feel her labored breath against my skin, and then she takes that last step, but instead of feeling teeth...pain, I feel her lips gently suck at my pulse point. Her tongue feels good; add to the fact that her once steady hands are moving and circling my nerves in the most delectable way and you get pure bliss.

I want to ask if shes okay, but I cant. Shes doesnt give me a chance to because shes already dragging her tongue across my cheek and into my mouth. I cant think , let alone form words with her probing my mouth and having her hand so persistent yet gentle inside me. The pain is still there but the pleasure out measures it.

Im moaning so embarrassingly loud and scratching the skin at her back. She moans in response and Its then that I feel her rubbing and grinding against my leg. And with that knowledge, the fire in the pit of my stomach become unbearable; I clench in need of release.

"You feel so good, Bella. And you're being so brave for me..."

Her voice washes over me in soft moans, making me hotter...wetter.

"I wanna make you feel so good...I wanna make you..._cum."_

"Oh god, please! Make me...please make me, Rose!" With one last press to my button, I completely let go, shuddering and arching into her.

"Oh." Im faintly aware of Rosalie's cries as she rubs against my leg, while her fingers continue to probe at my skin, slowly helping me come down from high. Theres something cool and wet on my leg as she sighs and pants, letting me know that she too has climaxed. Its too much, and I find myself shuddering along with her as another wave washes over me.

She kisses me down from my high this time, humming and yet again listening to my heart.

"You have a beautiful heart, Bella. Its so strong and loud..." She mumbles this, pulling her finger out, and settling on top of me; She purrs as I rub her back softly.

"You're amazing, Rosalie..." I whisper this, watching her pull back slightly so that she can see my face.

"You really...think so?" Shes being shy now, avoiding my gaze and drawing lazy circles on my skin.

"Yes. You're more than just amazing. And Im so proud of you for being so brave for me." As I say this, I bring my hands to her face and force her to meet my gaze.

"This was...this was my first time ever touching another girl...like that. I really had no clue as to what I was doing. Was it...good?" Was it good? Couldnt she tell that it was good after I came not once, but twice?

"It was wonderful. I honestly cant even tell you how great it was." I find myself wanting to ask the same question because she had in fact climaxed, but I hadn't even touch her. So im not really sure if she satisfied or unsatisfied ...

"Rose..."

**Bathroom:Rosalie's Pov**

"Im sorry if I scared you earlier..." We're laying in the tub, her leaning back against me as I gently message her shoulders. Shes idly playing with the bubbles and rose petals, humming as she does so.

We've just got done making love for the second time tonight; her making love to me because its what she wanted. To touch me, make me feel good just I as made her feel good. I told her that I was okay, that she didnt need to because I was already satisfied. I didnt need to be touched because touching and hearing her cries was enough for me.

It wasn't about me or my needs, it was about her; this whole night was about her. But she begged and pleaded for me to let her make love to me.

She was tired and no doubt sore, but she wanted to please me, and so I let her; I let my sweet little Bella tease and suckle at my skin until we both couldnt take it anymore. And then she took me, from behind because that what she wanted, us on our sides as she rubbed against my backside, fingers persistent inside me as her lips latched onto my shoulder.

My little Bella was so assertive, and so confident in her moves, even as she did something unexpected. She stopped her ministrations, making me whine at the lose and shifted down my body, placing tender kisses as she went. She shifted me so that I was laying flat on my back and I watched as her head became leveled with my most sensitive area. I tell her that she doesnt need to do that, that what we were doing before was more than enough but shes persistent...and stubborn.

She told me that she wanted to, that she wanted to make me cum so very hard, in her mouth, so that she can taste it. She of course blushed as she said this, because it was naughty, and Bella's not used to being naughty.

I opened my legs to her more, since theres no denying her anything...Bella always gets what she wants..._always_. I held my breath as her head disappeared and my body jolted at the sensation her her warm tongue lapping at my skin. Her tongue was hesitant at first, testing and probing in a torturous way; I wanted to just shove her harder into me, but i couldnt do that...I wouldn't do it.

"Oh, Bella..." She latched onto my clit and sucked feverishly, making my hips twirl and hands cling to the headboard; its bent under my force but I could care less.

"Oh, god, Rose...you taste sooo good!" She hummed, sending the vibrations through my body before putting a finger inside me, going in and out.

"More.." I weezed out, head twisting every direction as she added another finger. She tests different angles, downward, upward, and in circular motions.

"Oh fuck-oh fuck-oh fuck...dont stop!" And she didnt, she sucked and licked harder, as hard as her human mouth would let her. " Fuck, dont stop Bella...Im almost...Im...Im.." I didnt even get a chance to finish, because with one last swipe of her tongue, I convulsed , sputtering out curses and tried very hard not to crush her little human head with my legs.

She lapped at my juices and hummed at the taste as I slowly came down from the edge. I watched with hooded, hazy eyes while she licked her lips one last time and climbs up towards me after placing a tiny, loving kiss to my clit. And then she settled on top of me and kissed me so soundly, while I held her. I could taste myself on her lips; tangy yet sweet, something I would imagine candy would taste like. What kind of candy...im not really sure of.

She told me I tasted like a purple starburst; sweet, tangy and very juicy. I offered to return the favor, because I did want to taste her...very much so. But she refused, saying that she probably didnt taste good, but i didnt care...I wanted to do it.

In the end she got her way, which was probably a good thing, because if I had tasted her, tasted the blood mixed in with her arousal, I more than likely would have ended her.

We cuddled for awhile before deciding to bath, which is what we're doing at the moment.

"I think that was the first time I was actually scared for my life. Im sorry if I pushed you, Rose."

"It _was_ hard for me. Hearing your heart beat so erratic...and then the smell. The smell of your blood was too much...I lost it. Just for a second I lost it and I wanted to kill you.."

"How did you stop...how did you come back to me?" She leans against me more and I wrap my arm around her waist, loving the way that we fit together.

"I really dont know. I mean your heart was beating so loud but in the back of my head I could still hear you...reaching out to me..."

"I love you." she sighs as the silence engulfs the air.

"I love you too, Bella. More than anything." I kiss the side of her face and squeeze her midsection, gaining a small giggle from my human.

"You do know that we'll have to get out soon, right? Its already 12:30...Charlie's gonna..."

"-I dont care about that right now." She turns her head slightly so that she can see my face. "Lets just...stay here for awhile. I'll worry about Charlie later, okay?" Theres no time for me to respond before I feel her lips on mine; its not lustful or hurried, but instead its heartfelt.

"Whatever you want, Bella..."


	24. Maybe Im Selfish

**Maybe Im selfish**

"Soooo...you and Bella, huh?" I cant do anything but groan. For the past twenty four hours, Emmetts had this ideas in his head; ideas about what Bella and I did after prom and there after to be more specific. Its been about three months since Bella and I had our first encounter and he hasn't stopped bugging me since then.

We're currently in the living room, he and Jaspers are playing the game while I flip through the latest fashion magazine.

"Emmet, I swear if you dont get your filthy head outta the gutter, I'll personally see to it that you never wack off again..."

"Hey, come on now. Is that really all that necessary, Rosie? Im just a curious boy" He says with a big boy grin, making me shake my head in return.

"Yeah, and curiosity is gonna kill your dick..."

"Ohhhh, that sounds like a sexy good time. Buttt you cant kill something thats already dead im afraid..."

"Ugh, I really hate you sometimes, Emm"

"Yeahhhh. But you also kinda sorta love me..." And there goes that stupid grin again. "Come on. You might as well tell me. Otherwise, Im just gonna ask Alice and we both know she cant resist her big brothers manly charm..."

"Well Ive got two words for you. Good luck..." and with that said, I abruptly stand and smirk at my pouty lip brother. "Im going hunting..."

"Yeah, panty hunting. Oh and make sure you shower before you come back...its hard to focus when all I can smell is Bella juice..." I dont even try to respond verbally, because for one, he's right, I am going hunting for food and Bella; secondly, Im just not trying to give him the satisfaction. So I settle for throwing up my middle finger before taking off.

**Bella's Pov**

"Im serious, jake. I promise I"ll come see you tomorrow." I say into the phone as I shift more comfortably on the bed.

"Yeah, thats what you always say and guess what happens? You dont..." He's right. I dont know how many times Ive promised to see him and it never happens.

"Look, im sorry. Its just..."

"-Your girlfriend?" I find myself flinching at his words; its not spat in a venomous way or anything...its just, I dont know. I guess I just can feel the way it makes him feel, knowing that Im with her.

"Dont get me wrong, Bella. Im not at all homophobic, and the thought of you with another chick is..."

"-Okay, Jake. We're not having the 'sexy' talk, okay?" He chuckles but continues nonetheless.

"Im just saying. I dont particularly like you with _her_, but any other girl is cool..."

"What do you have against her anyway?"

"Oh, its not just her I have a problem with...its her family too. Somethings just not...right about them. That, and the fact that she keeps you all to herself..." My body shudders involuntarily. He couldnt know about them...could he? "But anyway as I was saying. Since when exactly did you start liking girls?"

"Well, I dont like girls, Jake. I just like one girl and thats Rosalie.."

"Sooo, that means you still like guys too, right?" I inwardly sigh at this because I already have a feeling where this is going.

"Jake," I begin in an aspirated tone. "Please...just dont..."

"I just need to know that I still have a chance. Thats all..."

"Jake.."

"Just please tell me I still have a chance?"

"I...I..." I really dont know how to answer that. I do care Jake, but I dont think its necessarily in the way he wants me to.

Im about to try to answer when suddenly theres a cool breeze and the smell of summer rain; a clear sign that I have a nightly visitor. Shes by my side in seconds, leaning into my backside and placing gentle kisses on the back of my neck.

"Jake, I gotta um...I gotta go..." It comes out in small pants, because im finding it hard to breathe with her hands working my stomach, which are dangerously close to my boy shorts.

"You okay, Bella? You sound out of breath..."

"Yeah, im good...Im just...Im just..." A groan escapes me when her right hand finally makes its way under my bra.

"Bella...Bella..are you there?" Im faintly aware of Jacobs worried voice, but her hands are making it that much more harder to concentrate.

She momentarily stops her ministrations and reaches for the cell phone dangling from my hand.

"Bella..?"

"Sorry, Jacob. But Bella's gonna have to call you back tomorrow..."

"What the...?" And with that said she abruptly hits the end button.

"That was rude." I pant out, and inwardly hum in joy as her hands finally continue with their torture.

"Not like you're complaining from what I can tell." She mocks in my ear, licking and sucking my earlobe in the process.

"Its hard to complain when your hands are doing unforgiving things to my body, ya know.." I turn my head so that I can initiate a kiss over my shoulder, which she immediately complies. We've gotten so much better at being intimate; her kisses are are much more demanding and she always seems so much more in control.

I turn around so that are fronts are pressed together and allowing us more access to one another.

"I missed you. " She mumbles against my lips, nipping, and sucking while hitching my leg over her hip. "We just saw each other like five hours ago..."

"Yeah, but I still missed you. Did you not miss me?" I want to laugh so hard at both the look on her face and at that ridiculous question; she looks like Emmet right now, with the pouty lip and furrowed brows.

"Do you really have to ask that?" She looks deep in thought for a moment, so I take the opportunity to answer her question physically. I grab her jean clad ass and force her lips onto mine. Her initial reaction is shock because I rarely show dominance, but she soon gets the idea and matches my eagerness.

I manage to unbutton her jeans, but she soon shifts so that her hips are wedged between my legs. So I try using my hands to pull them down, and I get them halfway, but then I opt to using my feet to push them further down to her ankles. She kicks them off and my body shivers at the contact of her cool skin; something Ive gotten use to but still makes me shudder. In a good way of course.

Im about to fondle her semi covered ass, when my hands are suddenly pinned above my head; I squirm in protest.

"Rose!" I whine, squirming with all my might, trying to overcome her her strong but gentle grip. "Thats not fair. I want to touch you too..."

" And you will...after Im done pleasing you..." She leans in to nip at my lips but I turn my head stubbornly. Shes not gonna have all the control.

She smirks at my unwillingness to comply and opts for a different approach.

"Being stubborn I see. Its fine, I'll just find something else to kiss." I can practically hear her smiling as she says this, if thats even possible. Im trying my best not to smile either, or moan for that matter because her tongue is doing amazing things the underside of my breast. She managed to hitch up my shirt sometimes in-between my stubbornness, and since im not wearing a bra, it just gives her that much more access to my skin; my nipples in particular.

"Rose, please just stop torturing me!" My head is shifting from side to side and im biting my lips way too hard to keep from screaming. The last time I moaned, she never let me live it down. She told me I put both Alice and Esme to shame.

"Just relax, Bella.." She uses her free hand to still my hips, which were unabashedly arching upward and ultimately rubbing against her stomach. She sits up a bit and I become aware of the growing damp spot on her expensive looking shirt.

I watch as she gulps down what I assume is venom because I have no doubt turned a lovely shade of red. She gulps again and but this time shakes her head. "Its fine, Bella..really. I find your 'markings' rather appealing." I let out a groan and do my best to hide my face in my shoulder/armpit.

"Ugh, can you please stop.."

"Stop what, Bella?"

"Stop teasing me!"

"Okay, if thats what you want..." And just like that, her hands are completely gone. She sits back on knees and I eye her confusedly.

"What the heck are you doing, Rosalie?" I sit upwards so that my weight is resting against my elbows. She shrugs her shoulders and feigns innocence. "Well you said stop teasing you, sooo..."

"Ugh, I so dont like you right now." I reply as I flop back against my pillow.

Shes hovering over me again, but this time she leaves my hands be; they're free to roam of their own accord.

"Yes, but thats because you love me oh so dearly instead."

**Rosalie's Pov**

She rolls her eyes in response to my words, but embraces me in a soft kiss.

I kiss my way down her body, stopping at her belly button and dipping my tongue in a few times. I can tell from the way her legs are trembling and rubbing together that shes getting impatient, so who am I to keep her waiting? Before I continue onward, I relieve myself of my clothing so that I can revel in the feel of her warm skin against mine.

Im at her most intimate spot now, inhaling and exhaling her unique scent.

"Rose, what are you doing?" Her heart speeds up at the realization of what im about to do. The only answer she gets is the sound of her underwear shredding.

"Rose! That was my favorite pair..."

"Shh. Bella you gotta be quiet...Charlie's down stairs, remember?" And as if she just now realized this, her eyes widened and she starts pushing against my head in an attempt to get me to move out the way.

"Bella, relax. Calm down..."

"Calm down! We cant do this while Charlie's down stairs..."

"He's watching the game. Besides, I'll be able to hear him coming..."

"Rose, I cant...I dont wanna..."

"Bella, you and I both know this has nothing to do with Charlie. We've had sex before with him down the hall three times we get to this part...me going down on you. You freak out and somehow manage to get out of it. But not this time! What are you so afraid of?" I already know what's bothering her, and no matter how many times I try to tell her that shes fine, she smells fine, and more than likely taste so much more better than words can describe, she insists that she doesnt. She thinks that she may taste repulsive. I dont know what it is about humans being so self conscious, especially women and their hygiene, but its becoming a real headache. I briefly wonder if I was the same way when I was human.

"Its just...I feel dirty, I guess. I dont know..."

"I dont know either, Bella. But what I do know is that you're not dirty, nasty or filthy in anyway. So with that said, im going to lick, suck and devour you, until you can take it anymore...until you're trembling and spilling into my mouth uncontrollably. Do you understand?" Im laying on my stomach, with both of her legs around my shoulders.

She doesnt say anything, just turns her head away bashfully with that blush ever present, and nods her head yes.

"Good. Now just relax...and feel me.." She braces herself against her headboard, clutching it as I gently force her closer to where I need her.

The only sound that emanates in the room is Bella's sharp gasp as I make first contact with her skin.

"Oh god..." shes threading her fingers through my hair, and pushing against and away from me at the same time. I angle her body upwards and take one clean swipe from her anus all the way of to her clit, where I gentle begin to suck.

She couldnt be more wrong about her taste; its something I can even begin too describe. But if I had to put it in words, it would be the equivalent to my last supper as a human. Something I would of savored had I'd known it would be last.

And thats exactly what I plan on doing; savoring everything she gives me as if it the last.

"Mmm, god, Rose...dont stop! It feels sooo good..." My fingers come in to play, making her arch off the bed and clutch at the sheets. "You taste sooo good, Bella..." She gives into me inch by inch, letting her juices flow in overwhelming amounts. The combination of her taste, smell and the sound of her moaning is far too much, and I cant resist the urge to touch myself.

I hum at the feeling invoked in me and then press my tongue flat against her clit, which makes her jolt and im rewarded with a rather loud moan. " Pleasssseee...Rose, uhhh Im...Im almost..." Im not at all against hearing her moan, but if she keeps this up, Charlie's most definitely going to hear and come barging in.

"Bella, Shh," I momentarily stop my ministrations to try to quiet her down, but the fierce glare I get proves that I should do otherwise."Charlie might..."

"Fuck Charlie, fuck being quiet and just...just fuck me already!" Im staring at her wide eyed, mouth wide open and filled with _her_, and basically just looking stunned. This is the first time Ive ever really heard her say anything close to being considered a curse word. I mean yeah, theres the occasional "hell" or "damn" and maybe shit but other than that, her mouth is pure.

She blushes and bites her lip as if she just now realizes what she has said but thankfully for her sake I decide not to comment; instead I just smile and chuckle against her, sending the vibrations straight to her nerves. She clenches hard around my fingers, twitching, convulsing, and sputtering nonsense as shes pushed over the edge.

Its then that I feel the warm liquid spraying into my mouth; it triggers something euphoric in me...something almost animalistic and lap at it greedily. Its enough to send me over the edge, growling, clawing, and humping her bed unabashedly.

I continuously suck at her as she rides out her orgasm, each time a little harder, almost forgetting that shes human. _Almost_. I hum yet again, because her taste is just way too good, and she gasps, falling over for a second time. But this time she bites her pillow and clamps her legs shut around my head.

"Uhhh, Rose...no more...I cant take anymore..." Is her tired reply when she realizes I have yet to let up.

My senses are clouded with lust and something else. I can practically taste her heartbeat; that tiny little vein thudding against her thigh.

I close my eyes, eyes that are no doubt black as night and hesitantly let go of my Bella. I breath heavy near her a few times, causing her to shudder, and then lean my head against her right thigh.

I tilt my head upward, watching the rise and falls her breast as her breaths become more even. I climb up her body so that my head is level with her chest and I gently lay down, covering her body with my own.

Im fully aware of her moisture covering my stomach, but thats not what's got my attention; its the steady beat of her heart that has me in a blissful like state.

A rare sound emanates from my chest, which makes her giggle. "Are you purring?"

"Mmhmm." I snuggle closer, rising and nuzzling close to her neck; she smells so good. So perfect...so _alive_.

"What's that all about?"

"Its a vampire thing...cant help it. You feel so good..." I dont need to open my eyes to know that shes blushing, not only can I smell it but I can feel it radiating off her skin. "Bella, you're really driving me crazy right now..."

"Sorr-..." I cut her off with my lips.

"Ya know, if you keep this up. Im going to be way too tired to see jacob tomorrow..." I let her bottom lips go with a wet "pop" and send one of my infamous glares her way.

"Rose, dont look at _me_ like that. Between you and work, I havent spent anytime with Jake in over two months..."

"And thats a problem?" I ask , feigning innocence as I shift onto my right side.

"Rose," she begins, frustration clearly written on her face. "He's my best friend, okay?"

"Thought I was your best friend?" I cant resist putting on Alice's signature pout.

"I swear you Cullens are gonna be the death of me. Is the pouting really necessary, Rose?"

"Yessssss it is. And Im not a Cullen, remember? Im a Hale." I stick out my tongue, and she rolls her eyes but smiles at my childish display.

"Just for that, I think I just might spend the night over there too. Ya know, watch scary movies and maybe do some late night cuddling of our own." She grins victoriously at defeated look on my face.

"Thats not funny.."

"Awww, what's the matter...jealous?" She nips at my pouty bottom lips as she says this.

"Yes, I am actually." Any and all humor has left this conversation, creating an air of awkwardness between us. "Rose," She starts, leaning her forehead against my own. "There's absolutely nothing to be jealous of. You know where my heart is, and how very important you are to me..."

"-Yeah, but.."

"-No buts. Jacobs my best friend," I open my mouth to protest but she once again cuts me off. "_And _you're also my best friend _but _you're also my lover. Theres a very fine line between the two, and you should already know that..."

"I do know that."

"Then why are you being so insecure all of a sudden..."

"Because _he_ doesnt know the difference between the two. I trust you completely, Bella...its him I dont trust.

"But you dont even really know him."

"Oh I know him...I know enough about him and his people. Theres just something..._off_ about them..." I know exactly what's off about them; they're a bunch of rabid dogs.

"Its funny you should say that, cause thats exactly what he said about you and your family." She sighs heavily before leaning back against her pillow. "I dont know what the problem is between you two, but somethings gotta give. You guys are being unreasonable, and Im tired of having to always choose. Maybe...maybe we should all just hang-"

"-Not happening." We've had this conversation plenty of times already and no matter how many times I say it, she just doesnt let it go.

"But why not? I mean, it'll solve the whole issue of having to choose between the both of you...and you might actually learn to like him once you get to know him..."

"I appreciate the thought, Bella, but its just not gonna work out...we're just...too _different_. But you're right...im being unreasonable and selfish. If you want to see Jacob, then who am I to stop you?

"You really mean that?" She looks up at me through curious, hopeful eyes.

Regrettably yes, I do mean it. As her mate, its my job to make sure shes happy, and if seeing that mongrel insures that, then by all means, I will put my wants aside and let her do as she pleases.

"Yes, I do mean it. Seeing him makes you happy, correct?" She nods at this; a small smile making its way onto her lips. "Well as long as you're happy, then Im happy." Shes full on beaming at my words now, and I cant help smiling myself.

"You're sooo good to me, Rosie-pooh!" She exclaims while throwing herself at me. An unmistakable crease lines my forehead; what the hell is a Rosie-pooh? Dont get me wrong, Ive become accustomed to hers and Emmetts many pet names, and some are endearing but others are just questionable...and this is one of those questionable names.

"Rosie-pooh? What's uh...what's that about?"

"You dont like it?" Oh great, now shes pouty? "I personally think it cute...very fitting."

"Oh? And why is that, Bella?"

"Well, cause you're my Rosie and," she purses her lips as she seems deep in thought. " You're cute," she pecks me on the neck, "and cuddly;" a peck to my cheek, "Just like the bear, Winnie the Pooh!" And atlas, she presses her lips against mine in a loving manner.

"You are so cheesy, its not even funny."

"Ah, but you see. You're laughing, which means you're contradicting yourself...and if im correct, a Hale doesnt do that." She retorts triumphantly, mocking my arrogance and self pride. "Besides, you love my cheesiness...and youuuu know it!"

"Yes, yes I do love you're cheesiness. I love you and everything about you.

"I know," she says smugly. "For some unfathomable reason..." And just like that, she completely kills the mood.

"Bella, why must you always do that?"

"Because, I just dont get why you or anyone for that matter feels anything for me. I mean, look at me...im so...ordinary. Im pale, awkward, clumsy, I lack fashion sense and im just plan...unattractive..." In that moment, I felt something rising in me...something that can only be identified as anger. Why does she always do this to herself? Constantly putting herself down, saying shes nothing.

"Bella, I dont ever..EVER wanna hear anything like that come from your mouth, you understand?"

"But its true, Rose. Im nothing compared to you...you're gorgeous. People would kill just to even talk to you. Male and female alike, you can have anyone and yet you chose me..why?"

"Yes, I could have anyone I want...anyone of these selfish, ignorant, perverse, egotistical humans here at forks and even them some. But I dont want them..._they're_ nothing, Bella..and you're everything." Her eyes are shifting in every direction but mine, and she biting the inside of her cheek; a nervous habit. "Bella," I continue, finally forcing her eyes on me. "Its true, you may be clumsy, unusually pale, and yes, you're fashion sense is a bit shot, but thats what makes you you. Thats what I fell in love with. You're anything but ordinary, Bella. You're so smart, funny, and so unselfish that its ridiculous. You're unique...you're special. And unattractive? You're sadly mistaken if you believe this is beauty." I point to myself. "Its a facade, Bella...a lie. Its lures humans in, my looks, everything about me. You say you're unattractive but how is that people flock to you, if you're indeed _unattractive_...if you dont have all of this, what you deem as beauty?"

"I dont know," she begins in a small voice. "I just...just dont get it..."

"I dont get it either, Bella. But I really wish you'd see what I see..."

"And I wish you'd see what I see, Rose." I already know what shes referring to my own complex, one being that I consider myself a monster because thats what i am.

Just as much as I hate to hear her talk down about herself, she feels the same way whenever I do it.

"Guess we'll both just have to work on that...together?" She eyes me shyly while offering a small smile to which I return.

"I guess so...you stubborn girl..."

" Can I ask you a question though?"

"Of course..."

"Okay, well...Jacob asked me earlier about liking girls..in general I guess. And I told em I didnt like girls...I just like you. And it kinda got me wondering. I guess what im saying is...did you..I mean... am I the only girl you've liked... and been with?"

"What, no blush this time?" I mock, because I truly am surprised shes not blushing, especially with all that stuttering.

"Oh shut up, and answer the question!" Ahh, theres that blush.

"Now whose contradicting themselves. How can I answer the question if you want me to shut up?" Now its my turn to be smug. She rolls her eyes and puffs out her cheeks.

"I swear, I would hit you right now if it didnt mean my arm would most likely shatter. Now can you please stop being a butt and answer the question?"

"Alright, alright. Ive never been attracted to or with another _human_ female."

"Theres a but, right?"

"Yes, theres a but. But I almost...ALMOST had relations with a female vampire before...

"Before like what...when?" Theres an somber look on her face.

"It was long time ago, Bella...way before you were born or even thought of for that matter..."

"Yeah, but still...how come you never told me before?"

"Well, mainly because you never asked. Just like Ive never asked about you're past relationships. Buts perhaps I should have, since it obviously bothers.."

"It doesnt bother me, Rose. Its just...I dont know, I figured I knew everything about you is all." She frowns and I cant help thinking how bad she is at lying; it most certainly bothers her.

"Bella, its okay if this upsets you, just as it would upset me if you talked about you're past relationships. But what Tanya and I had was convenient at the time.I hadnt been with anyone for like fifteen years after Emmet and I broke it off...it would have only been physical...if I had gave in and let it.

"If you gave in?"

"Yeah, Tanya is what you would call a succubus...she feeds off the sexual desires of men and even women occasionally. Its what she does...lures people in with her unimaginable beauty..."

"-So shes pretty then?" Theres a hint of anger rising in her voice. "Yes, Bella. Shes pretty...inhumanly so, which is one of the reasons why it wouldn't have worked out.."

"Oh? Find that hard to believe," she mutters to herself, folding her arms against her chest like a child. "What, sitting up all night, comparing each others beauty and being vain wasnt you're cup of tea back then?" Im completely taken aback by this outburst. I get that shes upset, but putting me down and belittling me? Yeah, thats where I draw the line.

"This was a bad idea, I see. Maybe we should talk about this when you're being a bit more mature and reasonable." I turn around, moving to pardon myself, but her warm hand stops me.

"Wait! Rose...Im..im sorry, I shouldn't have said that, okay? Im...Im being completely stupid and jealous..." She pulls on my wrist, silently asking me to stay. Theres a bit of hesitance at first, but I comply.

"Is there anything else? Like...did you...have strong feelings for her?" She whispers when the silence becomes unbearable and I lay down next to her.

"Theres nothing else to tell really. And no, Bella...if you're asking if I loved her, then no.

"You promise thats it...you never did anything...not even kissed?"

"Well, we have kissed...but other than that, no.."

"You're sure...cause the way you said 'what Tanya and I had,' its sounds like theres something more..." I could almost feel the obvious distaste of her rolling off Bella's tongue.

"Bella, why are you so adamant about this? When I said that, I meant we had the kind of relationship that Emmet and I had. She was great friend...companion...but thats it. We both knew it wasnt going to work out even if we had really tried. She was like...a stand in for Emmett really. But didnt truly make me happy and neither did Tanya, okay?"

She doesnt say anything, just lays there with an unreadable look on her face.

"You sure you dont want me to go...I'll completely understand.."

"-No! Im just...im trying to take it all in.."

Im completely befuddled and taken off guard by this whole conversation. How did it go from me pleasing her, to us having what would seem to be our first real fight. She wanted to know, and I have no problems with being honest but know its like shes questioning my love for her.

"Bella, do I really have to reinforce this with you...my love...the love that I have for you?"

"No, of course not. I know you love me..."

"Completely, truly, and irrevocably..." **(I hate that freakin word, so unnecessary)**

"Im glad that I know now, but I guess I finally get that meaning...'curiosity killed the cat'...cause im feeling pretty battered right now, not to mention awkward..."

"Yeahhh. Can we just change the subject now? Let the past stay in the past...and just maybe snuggle a bit?" I wrap my arms around her waist, gently pulling her to me and snuggle against her backside; she giggles as I purr against the back of her neck.

" I suppose we could...but maybe add a bit of kissing, and rubbing and..."

"Moaning?" I say a bit too eagerly, earning another giggle from Bella.

"Can we just settle for I love you's and sweet nothings?" She flashes me a warm smile over her shoulder and places her arms over mine; I can never get enough of her warmth.

"I guess we could do that...but I really think you'd like it more if you were sweating and moaning.."

"Oh id like it more huh?" This rewards me with a chuckle as she reaches past me and flicks off her bed lamp.

"I love you. You silly ol bear." She whispers in the dark, snuggle into the crook of my neck.

" I love you more, Bella-boo." Her heart speeds up a bit at this, and I smile to myself when as I feel her smiling against my skin.

**Next morning: Bella's Pov**

I awaken the next morning, stretching across my bed in a cat-like manner, and fully aware of Rosalie absence. I take a long whiff of her pillow and exhale slowly; shes clearly been gone for awhile now, but her scent is embedded in both the sheets and pillow.

I take a moment to fully take in this early August morning, yawning, wiping the sleep from my eyes and doing a bit more stretching. Its nine thirty in the morning, a bit too early for me, but I decide to take the day head on.

I watch the suds gradually go down the drain as I wash my body languidly, reveling in the feeling of the warm water hitting my skin. I let my mind wander towards Rosalie, her touch, smell, voice...just her in general, and a hint of excitement stirs within me. My hand unconsciously slides down my body, and right when im about to quell my impending desire, a knock brings me out of my stupor. _Crap_

"Hey, Bells...im going in early for work today. Probably be hitting a second shift too, so im gonna grab some take out..."

"Umm, okay...Im gonna head over to Jakes in a bit..."

"Okay, Kiddo. Be safe and say hello to the boys for me..."

"Will do...Ill call you later dad. Love you."

"Love you too, kiddo."

**An hour later.**

"Bella!" Im stepping at out my truck, and im immediately enveloped by something tall, and very tan.

"Jake, cant...breath..."

"-Oh, sorry...when you're as awesome as I am..you sometimes forget your own strength.." He shoots me a cheeky grin, one that may put even Emmet to shame, and tussles my hair...in a very Emmet like manner might I add again.

"Righhttt. I see your still lame as ever...not to mention cockier. What's up with that, David Banner?"

"Hey, well one of us has to get some meat on our bones, cause obviously you're not. Its very normal in our tribe thank you very much. Besides, im a growing boy...and I eat good!"

"Yeah, the whole damn table from what it looks like..." He shoves me gentle but laughs as I almost trip over my own feet.

"Hey, hey, easy there incredible hulk...im still like two hundred pounds lighter than you, remember?"

"Yeah, who you tellin. See some things never change...gotta get your weight up, slim! Speaking of which, you're staying for dinner...my aunt Sue is cooking. She makes an amazing roast..."

"Sounds good. Butttt what's on the agenda for today...like now?"

"Oh, right. Well right now im working on the Rabbit...id ask you to help, but seeing as though you can barely walk without tripping...something tells me you plus a wrench equals mega disaster..."

"Ya know, id be extremely offended by that...if it werent so true." He laughs and we settle into idle conversation as we walk towards his shed.

"The boys wanted to officially meet you today, but I wasnt so sure if you were actually coming or not..." He situates himself in front of a large metal part, one that I identify as the engine. "Oh, and I like how you hung up on me last night..."

"Yeah, Im really sorry about that...Rosalie was...helping me study..." He turns his attention away from the engine and eyes me incredulously, making my skin burn in embarrassment .

"Studying...at 11:00pm? Tell me, does Charlie approve of you're little late night 'study sessions?'"

"Um, well...See," Im stuttering like an idiot and more than likely redder than a tomato. He watches me, clearly amused by my attempt to come up with an explanation, but I guess he finally decides to put me outta my misery; he breaks down in small fits of laughter.

"You should see the look on you're face right now...its priceless.."

"Yeah, yeah...laugh it up why dont you...but seriously, Im really sorry I haven't spent anytime wit you in a while..."

"Hey, no biggie...you're here now, right?" Theres a something a bit foreign about the way my stomach churns when he smirks at me; in a way it reminds me of Edward...or maybe even Rose.

"Hand me that wrench will ya?" I nod and do as Im asked. " So how ya been slim..besides being an accident magnet. See you finally got that cast off.."

"Yeah, thats me...accident magnet. Think my leg healed up fine though..."

"Thats a surprise. Specially after _accidentally_ falling down a flight of stairs _and_ straight through a window. Yeah, I do believe you're the only person who could pull off such an epic fail and live through it..." He's giving me that look again; the one that says "theres more that you're not telling me."

"Right...yeah..accident...but enough about me. How have you been?"

"Oh, you know. Same ol same...tryna deal with life on the Res. That and dealing with Leah..."

"Leah? What's up with her?"

"Well, Im not really one to gossip," he purses his lips as he eyes me."But you're cool. I dont really know the detail but long story short...things dont really seem to be working out for Sam and Leah..."

"Sam and Leah are together?"

"Oh, yeah sorry...guess I should of mentioned that first. Alright well, they're actually high school sweethearts...and they're supposed to be getting married...or were anyway. But now, Im not really sure..."

My mind goes blank for a second; I can faintly make out Jacobs voice but my minds too busy wandering back to Rose and our conversation from last night for some reason.

_High school sweethearts. _I know its dumb to question us, our relationship yet again, especially over something so fickle, but is this how Rosalie and I will end up? In love, high school sweethearts, and then oneday...nothing? Granted I dont really know Leah's circumstances but still...

"Bella..."

What if theres someone out there way better?

"Bellaaaa.."

What if she doesnt turn me, I get old and she grows tired of me?

"Bellaaaa...helloooo!" The constant snapping of Jacobs fingers bring me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah...what...?"

"Jeez man. What's got you all zoned out?"

"Nothing...just alot on my mind I guess."

"Well, Im here if you wanna talk about it. And I am a good listener..."

"Hmm. Well, I dont know..."

"Oh, come on. We're friends right?"

I sigh heavily; Im truly debating whether or not I should ask this, especially since I know how he feels about Rosalie.

"Okay, well I wanna ask you a question...kinda rhetorical.."

"Im all ears.."

"Okay, lets say I have this _friend_ and shes dating this amazing, gorgeous, insanely hot..."

"-Yeah, okay I think I get it...and how is exactly this is rhetorical again?" I disregard the last statement and continue with my thought.

"Sorry. Well anyway. Shes dating this girl, who's been completely devoted and honest with her so far, but she recently found out that the girl had dated this other insanely hot girl. Do you think its right for her to like...question their relationship based on their past?"

"Hmm. Well honestly I dont really wanna answer that the way I normally would, since it could jeopardize my chances with you're 'friend,' _Bella." _It would seem that it is quite foolish of me to think that I could get anything past Jacob.

"Butttt, im gonna be a nice guy and give you my true opinion on the matter...I'll just think of girlfriend as Selena Gomez...that way I wont be so repulsed." He flashes me a smirk; snickering as I eye him pointedly.

"In my honest opinion, Bella. I dont think its right to judge people on their past..its not about that...its about creating a future..thats all that matters. Besides, she did tell you about it...I can see if she hadnt mention it at all..."

"-Yeah, but only because I just so happen to bring it up..."

"Still. She told you what happened right?"

"Yeah..."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes, I believe her, Jake..."

"Well, okay then. As long as shes honest and you believe that, then that should be enough."

I slowly took in everything that was said and I realize just how right he is; why dwell on the past when the future is right around the corner?

"Ya know, you can be very wise when you want to be."

"Yup, thats years of tribal knowledge baby...things that you cant even possibly fathom lay hidden in this head..."

"-Yeah, which is why its so big!" As expected, this comment earns me a shove. "Its too bad you dont actually follow what you believe though..."

"How so?"

"Welllll...the whole judgment and Rosalie thing...really should practice what you preach..."

"Thats totally different and you know it!"

"Pssh! How is that any different? You hate her for no apparent reason..."

"I dont need a reason to hate her...shes creepy, and not at all attractive...you could do better..."

"See, now you're just being mean...theres no reason for all that.

"Okay, can we like change the subject? Not only is this making me sick but its just dumb. I dont even know why you asked for my opinion about her, or why you're so caught up on her past. Swear I'll never understand why you females dwell on such trivial things. I mean really, what's the point in getting upset over things in the past...its the past. Not like you can change it..."

"Alright, alright...I get it, okay? You're right, Jake. You're so very right. Thanks for listening...knew there was a reason why I like you.." I say, giving my own little Emmet grin.

"Pssh, yeah...like a brother, right...?"

Oh boy.

"Jake..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You could at least answer my question though.."

"And what question is that?"

"The one from lastnight..." I was hoping to avoid this whole conversation in general, but it seems like thats not gonna happen.

"Listen, Jake..." Before I can even finish my last thought, the distinct sound of a female voice cuts me off mid-sentence.

"Jakie wake...hope you ready to get that ass handed to you in Street...," she came into the shed, fully beaming but as soon as she lays eyes on me, her whole demeanor changes. "Oh.."

"Uh heyyy, Lee. This is um, Bella swan. Bella, this is my cousin, Leah..."

"Um, hello, Leah..." I stand up and move to extend my hand towards her.

"Charming." Is her reply as she raises a well arched eyebrow. "Welp, enough wit the pleasantries," she completely ignores my presence and looks past me towards Jacob. "Hit me up later, vagisil, when you're done..._babysitting. _And just like that shes gone, leaving me with a fire in the pit of my stomach...an angry fire.

"Jeeze, somebodies got their tampon in a bunch.."

"Pleasant, isnt she?" He comments humorously.

"Quite. Its safe to assume she doesnt like me very much.."

"Nah, thats just how she is. You'll learn to love her once she opens up.."

"Yeah, _if_ she opens up."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it...just ignore her. I do. But anyways, lets get outta here..."

"What, you done for the day?"

"Yup. My spare parts dont come for another week. Just needed something to do. Idle hands are the devils play thing, ya know?" I shake my head and roll my eyes at the ridiculously cheesy look on his face; his grin rivals that of the grinch and it would seem as though he's trying to wiggle is eyebrows, but its a no-go.

"Welp, I dont know about you, but im starving. Lets go see what's happening with lunch."

"Hey, im all for that.."

The next few hours consist of idle conversation between myself, Billy and Jake; weird, awkward glares from you-know-who, and a few cooking lessons from Sue.

I honestly thought Esme was the female version of Gordon Ramsay, but now I dont know; Sue's like Paula Dean and Chef Ramsay put together...her food is like a guaranteed orgy in your mouth!

Jake, myself, and Leah are now occupying the living room, playing _Clue. _How managed such a feat is beyond me, but we're here.

"Ha, I got it! It was Colonel Mustard, in the study with the the lead pipe.." Jake smiles triumphantly at what he believes is the correct answer, unfortunately for him...its not.

"Ehhh, wrong! It cant be, cause..."

"-This shit is stupid...we've been at it for an hour and nobody has gotten it right..." Leah replies lazily, cutting me off and leaning back against the sofa.

"Stop being such a hater, Leah...were almost done. I know who did it now..."

"-You wanna know who did it, Jake? I'll tell you who did it. It was me, and ya wanna know what I did? I used my hands , to throw this fucking game out the living room window." And thats exactly what she did.

"Thats mature." I mumble more to myself, but the glare she sends my way informs me that she heard.

"Im sorry, was there something you wanted to say? Cause I mean feel free..." Shes bracing herself against the table and peering down at me as if I were an insect. Jacob steps in and tries to calm her down, and I suddenly feel my own temper begin to flare.

Im more than just a little scared right now, but its not enough to stop the words that float out of my mouth.

"What is your deal? Why are you being such a bitch?"

"My problem _Swan_, is you! Why are you even here, huh? Your precious girlfriend finally let you off your leash?"

"-Leah, thats enough.."

"Oh its hardly enough, Jake? I dont understand why you even bother with her, Jake. Shes selfish, and shes constantly hurting you man..."

"Im selfish? You dont even know me, Leah. So can you sit up here and judge me!"

"Oh _I_ know you. I know the type of girl you are..whiney, pathetic and fucking selfish! You come up here, only when you find it convenient, unload all your bullshit about your precious Cullen on him, and at the end of the day, im the one who has to deal with it. Im the one picking up the fucking peices..."

"Leah, enough!"

"-It wasn't enough when you were just complaining to me about it before dinner, now was it?"

"Jake, is that...true?" Im completely taken off guard by how things are playing out. Why would he talk to Leah after I told him my problems in confidence?

"Bella, its not like that. Its not what you think..."

"Oh? Because right now I _think_ im becoming a burden. So im gonna do you a solid and _un-selfishly_ rid you of this burden..." My eyes sting as I hurriedly pass by Sue, who asks me what's wrong, and head straight to my car; I hate that I just blatantly ignored her but I have to get out of here.

"Bella, please! Its not exactly like that...how she made it out to be.." Jakes at my my side and minutes, trying to hold the door open as Im trying to close it. "I mean, I did mention some things, but I just needed an opinion.

"I told you that stuff in confidence..."

"I know that. And Im sorry, its just... I care about you, and it...it hurts whenever you talk about her..." I really want to stay mad at him, but in my heart I know that I cant. I know exactly how he feels about me, yet I feel the need to 'unload my problems onto him' as Leah put it. And I just now realize how right she is...im completely selfish.

"Im sorry, Bella. Please..." His eyes are pleading with my own.

"I'll forgive you...if you'll forgive me.." His face twist in confusion as I step out of my truck.

"Leah's right," I sigh, staring down at my shoes. "I came over, obviously overwhelmed you with my issues, and not once did I take the time to consider your feelings. And im sorry for that. Im sorry if I hurt you..." He unexpectedly embraces me in a hug, and I hum at how warm he is. "I forgive you Slim." We pull away and he grins at me; out of the corner of my eye, I see Leah shaking her head and glaring from the porch.

"Just ignore her, Bella..."

"Its kind of hard to ignore someone who's obviously making their presence known." I sigh and bring my attention back to Jake. "I should go. Its getting pretty late and I got work in the a.m..."

"Oh," Is his only reply. He looks so disappointed by how things turned out and I cant help but feel bad since it was practically my fault.

"No worries though. I'll try to come by more often...maybe have a movie night?"

"Y-yeah, that'd be awesome. And um...I'll make sure shes not around, okay?" He whispers.

"That'd be...great." We laugh and embrace each other one last time before I settle into the driver seat of my truck.

"I'll call you so we can arrange that get together. " He nods at this. "Take care of yourself, Jake. Later..."

*T.I.M*

"You're quiet tonight. Is everything okay?" Im back where I started, in my bed with Rosalie embracing me from behind. She lets me play with her fingers as I debate whether or not I should tell her about what happen at Jacobs house.

"Its...nothing really," I glance at her from the corner of my eye. "Just thinking..."

"About?" She persists. She knows somethings bothering, more than likely feels it, and like it or not, I know she'll bug me about it until I spill it.

"Leah, Clearwater. She's Jacob's cousin..." I shift in her grasp so that im now facing her; She nods her head for me to continue.

"She said somethings earlier..."

"-Did she hurt you?" She cuts in, eying me with a look of worry on hr face.

"No, she didnt physically hurt me. She just said some things that made me upset." Im expecting her to say I told you so and go on a little rant buut she does neither. She just listens as I give her a brief rundown of what happen. I dont exactly tell her why it happen, but I tell her enough.

"At first I didnt understand why she was being such a bitch, but when I thought about it. Like really thought about how awful I was treating Jacob, I realized she was right..."

"Everybody's selfish in their own way, Bella. Its human nature, its what make you human.."

"But its not right.."

"And im not saying that it is. Im just saying that you shouldnt dwell so much on what others say. Who cares what Leah Clearwater says or thinks?But I guess you should also be aware of your actions and how they effect others..."

"Yeah, I guess. Even though you just contradicted yourself..." A smug look of self-satisfaction crosses my features and she waves me off with the roll of her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean.."

"Yes, I do. My sweet little vampire..."

"Oh, dont try to be a lovey dovey after you just insulted my pride.." She pouts to try to keep from smiling.

"Aww, im sorry. Here, let me kiss your wittle ego and make it aw bedda.." I lean in to peck her pouty lips and smile as I feel her smiling against me. "There, all better?"

"Mmm, kind of but...I need a little more convincing in order for my wounds to heal..." Its my turn to roll my eyes, but of course, I happily comply with her subtle request.

I press my lips to hers with much more purpose this time, and im rewarded with a soft moan. Her cool hands glide over my sides and slowly move towards the waistband of my shorts, where she slips her hands in and cups my behind.

"Mmm, not tonight, Rose. Ive got work in the a.m, remember? You randy little vampire." I pull away from her, despite both of our protest and move to flick off the lamp.

"Thats cruel, getting me all hot and bothered. Then leave me hanging by the edge." The tone of her voice lets me know that shes only half serious.

"I'll make it up to you, I promise.."

"Yeah, well. Im gonna hold you to that.."

"You do that, but for now," I snuggle close and lay my head against her chest. "Can you just hold me?"

"Forever." She kisses my head and hums soundly. "Goodnight, Bella. I love you..."

"G'night, Rosie. And I love you, too."

**A/N: Lets see. For those who are wondering why Jake seems a bit too cool with Bella's relationship, dont fret, you'll gradually see a change as the story moves along. **

**I didnt really like this chapter or the next one im going to post, I just used them as a filler. I didnt feel right with just jumping right into New Moon ya know? But worry not, it'll be here sooner than you think:) **

**I did add the whole Tanya thing as a last minute request from a friend. You'll see how that plays out later on, but that ultimately means that I'll have to go back and do some editing of certain chapters. I'll probably just end up editing the whole story since it has quite a bit of mistakes. So I ask that you be patient with me since im like a snail when it comes to typing. It honestly took me like two days to do this and the nest chapter. Smh shameful, I know. Now, how bout those lovely reviews?**


	25. Early Birthday Present

**A/N: I was totally flustered, cringing, and basically hiding my face as I wrote this. Why? I have no clue, but sex always brings out the shy, pure, pussy-ninja. Lol, I like dirty talk but I've come to the conclusion that im always gonna get all embarrassed about it, smh.**

** Early Birthday Present**

"Morning, Bella." That oh so familiar voice whispers into my ear, making me shiver in the best way possible. I let out tired groan and stretch in her arms before peering up at her lazily; no matter how many times I wake up to this goddess, I'm always completely in awe. She smiles one of those dazzling smiles and leans in to give me a kiss. I scrunch up my nose before placing my hand in between us as a barrier. I hate kissing her in the morning, and shes well aware of the fact, but still she tries.

"Bella," she whines and snuggles me closer. "I dont care about your breath..."

"But I do. Thats so gross, kissing when you have morning breath..."

"Well," her hands flex against my sides. "Your breath doesnt smell like 'morning'. And even if it did smell, it cant be any worse than the smells that float out of your bathroom..." My face immediately flushes at this. Its bad enough that she has super senses, I definitely dont need her reminding me of that fact whenever she sees fit.

"Okay, can we please get off the subject of my bodily odors?" I push against her and shift off the bed.

"Aww, but I love your odors." My face twist in playful disgust. "Wish I could poop.." She adds with a mischievous grin, and I find myself flushing even more.

"Rose! Ugh, stoppppp!" She giggles as I continuously pound her with my pillow.

"So, you ready for the start our senior year together?" She says more seriously as I begin my morning routine.

Yup, Rosalie's still at Fork's high this year. She purposely flunked out, saying that it'd be way better going off to college if I was there with her at the same time. I both agreed and disagreed with her reasoning, because the need to be with her, near her, is a constant. I disagreed because flunking is a pretty big deal. Im more than sure that it'll show on her permanent records, which she completely dismisses since she's repeatedly been in high school for past sixty or so years. I still feel bad about her having to do another year of high school all on my account.

"I suppose," I shrug. "If it brings me closer to day I'll beco.." I immediately stop when I see the glare shes giving me. The "changing" subject is still highly taboo at this point. I've brought it up several times, mentioning the possibility of after graduation as being an option. She dismissed it like always and went on with whatever we were doing at those times.

She clears her throat. "Well im pretty excited for this year. More so about what happens on the thirteenth though.." She adds slyly and my only reaction is to huff in defeat. Why do people feel the need to remind me that Im getting old?

"Ugh please dont remind me!" I absolutely dread my birthday, it only serves as a reminder that im getting older and shes staying the same. Completely frozen in time.

"Oh its not that bad, Bella..."

"Yeah, not bad for you. You're the one thats safe..." I wipe at my mouth and place my toothbrush in its holder before checking myself in the mirror.

"Safe? Safe from what exactly?" She asks quizzically with a grin. Theres a somber look on my face as I sigh and fold my hands over my chest. I catch her eyes from a side glance and a look of understanding crosses her features; she sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

"Nevermind. I dont really want to know where you're going with this. Just um, hurry up. I'll be out in the car..." In a blur, shes out of the window and the muffled sound of a car door being shut can be heard.

_"Great way to start out the morning, Bella."_

We drive to school in her overly expensive Mercedes, hand and hand, and park in their usual spot right next to Emmetts massive jeep.

"Bella!" My pixie like friend bounces towards me, arms wide open and grinning from ear to ear. "Hey, Alice," I weeze out and smile as she pulls back. " Nice to see you too. Im guessing you missed me?" She rolls her eyes at the smug smile on my face and gently shoves me.

"Well yeahhh! Its been like forever since the last time I saw you..."

"-Its only been a week.."

"Well, whatever. Thats long enough. How am I suppose to plan your birthday party if the birthday girl isnt here to give some insight..."

"Absolutely not. No parties, Alice..." I move pass her and greet Emmett with a smile and hug; Jasper acknowledges me with a nod of his head.

"But why not," She practically whines as she gracefully skips backwards up the stairs of the school entrance.

"Because, Alice. Its completely irrelevant and hardly anything to celebrate..."

"It certainly is something to celebrate!"

"-Alice, just drop it for now. Really dont feel like reliving this morning..." I hear Rosalie sigh from behind as we stop by the main office and pick up our schedules.

"Fine. But this isnt over, Bella Swan. _I_ want this and we all know that I get what I want..." If that isnt the biggest understatement of the century.

"Come," Rosalie says, gently grasping my hand with a smile. "I'll walk you to class..."

*T.I.M*

Can somebody please explain what relevance the first day of school has, besides providing utter boredom? So far, every class is the same. We come in, the same teacher reintroduce themselves, and they go on about the classes syllabus. The only good thing about today so far is that I got to see my friends, which wasnt really that big of a deal since I've see them more over the summer than I did Jake.

Time is going by dreadfully slow, and even the presence of my lover doesnt foreshadow the fact that im having a hard time paying attention.

"Ugh, is this day ever going to end?" I lean backward in my chair with a pout.

"Almost, babe." She smiles sympathetically. "All though, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to leave this class. You've got gym with Alice next..." My head drops to my desk and I quietly curse to myself as my head repeatedly meets the desk.

"Alright, so if you'll all turn to the second page of the syllabus, you'll see that our first order of business this beginning semester is Romeo and Juliet..."

Theres an uproar of groans, more so from myself, before the teacher, Mrs. Thomas shushes us.

"He'll have us doing a project within the next two weeks. " She doesnt even have her syllabus open, so that should tell you just how predictable this class is.

Sure enough, Mrs. Thomas mentions a brief project revolving around the original screen play.

"Well, this should be an exciting year." I retort dryly and turn my attention towards the clock. I see her stiffen out of my peripherals and sort of zone out; a clear sign that she just had a vision. I dont bother with inquisitions anymore , I just let whatever suppose to happen, happen.

"Yes," Rosalie begins, taking my hand in her own and smiling at me endearingly. "This year will be very exciting."

*T.I.M*

"Gah! I dont think I've ever been so glad to be heading to work..." I relax into my seat and let the wind blow through my hair as Rosalie drives.

"I take it that the rest of your classes werent very appealing?"

"Not at all. Gym was horrific! Alice spent the whole time going over her plans for _my_ birthday. She went on about what kind of cake I want, what day we should go shopping for my dress, and ultimately what I wanted as a gift. Its not happening...I absolutely refuse..."

"I hate to break it to you, babe. But, its more than likely going to happen. This is _Alice_ we're talking about...its inevitable."

I sigh and watch as the trees blur past me.

"But hey," she squeezes my hand gently. "Its no pressure, well, at least not from me. Just...think about it, okay? It'll be the first birthday we've celebrated since Emmetts in 1935..."

"No pressure, huh?" I raise an eyebrow skeptically and watch as her shoulders shrug.

"Well not too much pressure anyway." She adds with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah." We come to a stop in the parking lot of Newtons Sporting Goods, and she immediately at my side helping me out of the car.

"Pick me up at ten?" My fingers lace together around her neck, and she rewards me with a passionate kiss. "You know it. Try not to miss me too much until then." She nips me playfully before pulling back and heading to her car.

Missing her is exactly what I find myself doing at the moment. Works relatively slow, and the only other person to talk to is Mike Newton, whose been talking nonstop for the past three hours.

What I wouldn't give for some good conversation. As if Rosalie heard my humble request, the sound of her ringtone alerts me of her incoming call.

"Ugh, im so glad you called. Its so boring here and um...Mike Newtons not making it any better.." I add with a whisper. "I miss you..."

"I miss you too, babe. Dont fret too much, you only got an hour or so left.."

"Yeah, I guess. What are you doing?"

"Nothing really. Watching Emmett and Alice play the game...and thinking about you.." I huge grin instantly makes it way onto my face.

"Oh yeah? What um...what are you thinking about exactly?" My mind immediately wanders towards naughty thoughts.

"Bella," She begins with the slightest hint of lust evident in her voice. "Are you...blushing right now?"

"N-No!" Lies, damn lies.

"You sure about that? Cause ya know...it really gets me going..."

Dear god.

"Okay, can you guys please take your bedroom talk _into_ the bedroom? We're tryna play the game!" I hear Emmett boom making me flush even more.

Theres shuffling and then immediate silence.

"Where...are you? Its quiet.."

"Where I wish you were right now. _Our_ bedroom.."

_"Our bedroom.." _That has a nice sound to it.

"Where are _you_? And where's Mike?"

"Um, sitting at the counter. And Mikes right here, watching the football game. Totally zoned out might I add.."

"Good," She practically moans in the phone, completely catching me off guard. I flush at the realization of what shes possibly doing right now.

"Um...are okay?" Its the only thing I can manage to think of at the moment.

"Im great," another breathless reply that sends a shiver down my spine. "But I'd be even better if you helped me something..." My mouth goes dry, like cotton, and I feel myself throb in a very specific area.

"O-Okay, um..how can I um..."

"-Go to back of store, the bathroom, anywhere thats quiet and private..." I nod my head eagerly, forgetting that she cant see and do as im told. "Uh Mike? Im going to the restroom. Be back in a few..." He acknowledges me with a wave of his hands and a "mhmm".

"Okay, im hear." I've settled myself in the bathroom, on top of the closed toilet seat, with the door shut and locked. Theres some more shuffling on the other end, and then a subtle moan, followed by some more shuffling.

"What do you need me do, Rose?" Im already panting and steadily moving my hands towards the place she and I need me to be the most.

"I need," A groan and then a hiss. " I need you to...to touch me." A rather loud moan this time, and I have to bite my lips in order to keep quiet; Just imagining how hot she looks, spread across our bed, naked and completely aroused makes my juices flow."I want you touch yourself for me, Bella.

"Oh god." I flush again, and feel my leg begin to twitch in anticipation.

" Do you want me to...get right to it or..."

"Fuck, no...no teasing right now. I just need you to touch it..." I groan at how naughty she sounds and eagerly reach my hands into my jeans. Im so glad she decided against the four play crap, cause with the way that im dripping, theres no way im going to last that long.

"Uhh," I lurch backwards, giving me more excess, and shiver as my fingers graze my spot.

"Are you wet, Bella?" Im completely gone, high off my ass, so the only word I can manage is "Mhmm." She chuckles in the sexiest way possible and I clench harder against my fingers.

"Lets try that again. I said are you _wet_, Bella?"

"Oh god, yes! Yes, im wet..."

"-And who are you wet for?" Ugh, I hate the way she makes me be naughty, but l also love it even more.

"For you," Im almost at that point, its clear by the way my voice has risen an octave. "Im wet for you, Rose..." My back slightly arches, effectively pushing my left breast into my hand; im squeezing it relentlessly. I hear her hum in response before a slur of curse words resound in my ear.

"Fuck, Bella...im almost there! Just...just tell me its mine. Tell me me whose pussy it is.."

I ABSOLUTELY hate that word, and she knows this, but when your in the midst of lust, you'll be amazed at what your capable of saying.

"Its...its YOURS!" I sound and more than likely look like a complete whore right now with my face all flushed, mouth wide open and forming an "oh" but I could careless. Im wet, aching, and barely holding on at this point, so I could care less if im whoring it up in the bathroom right now. Just like I could care less if somebody's knocking on the bathroom door. Wait, what?

"Shit," I stumble to catch my baring and in the process I manage to drop my phone, making the battery slide against the tiled floor."Double shit!"

"What!" I dont even try to hide my annoyance for my offending intruder. I was so close, so freaking close to falling into oblivion, that I could taste it. But noooo, Mike fucking Newton just had to ruin that. Fuck my life, and when you're done fucking it, feel free to fuck it some more since its the only thing getting some action right now.

"You okay in there? You look a bit flushed and the sounds you were mak.."

"-Yeah im freaking dandy. And the sounds? Yeah, well lets just say I shouldnt have eating lunch to today..." I ignore the blush that rises towards his cheek, and completely ignore the fact that I suggested that I just took a poop. And if I were "normal" Bella right now, my face would probably mirror that of Mikes, but im not "normal" Bella, im horny, frustrated Bella...the Bella that just doesnt give a crap right now.

"O-Oh, um..okay. Well, its pretty slow so um...im just gonna close up early.." My eyes light up at that prospect and an eager grin slowly creep to my face. Closing early means I get to see Rosalie earlier than intended, which ultimately means that she gets to relieve me of this burden inside my panties.

I sigh. _"How did I become some perverted?"_

I call Rosalie, who isnt too pleased by the fact that our little sexual tryst was cut short, but after informing her that I get off early, she completely pushes her frustration to the side.

*T.I.M*

We're driving home in unusual silence, which isnt uncomfortable but still a little weird on account of what just took place. Shes completely calm, and she has this seriously look on her face, besides the subtle smirk playing on her lips. I mean, she hasn't even looked let alone said two words to me since we left Newtons.

_"Okayyyy. Totally not weird.."_ I think the only thing thats not unusual about the situation is that she flying down the street; we're doing at least 60 in a 35 mile zone. Yeah thats bad.

She lets me out in my drive way and then proceeds to park her car way down the street. I kick my shoes off at the door, mutter a "Hello" to Charlie and make my way upstairs. Before I can even shut my door, Rosalie's all over me, sucking, nipping, and practically grinding me.

"Rose, the d-door...!" The only reply I get is a grunt and the feeling of my back hitting the door, effectively closing it. Well thats one way of doing it. She lifts me up and I instinctively wrap my legs around her. Guiding us towards the bed, I let her carefully lay me down and we both scoot towards the middle.

"I couldnt wait to get you home and out of these clothes." Is her throaty reply. Shes doing exactly what she just said, ripping my clothes off, leaving me completely bare and begins to devour my skin with her mouth. She pulls back despite my protest, settles herself on top of my right thigh and takes off her top; my eyes instantly roll back at how obviously wet she is.

When she had arrived to pick me up, I notice she had ditched the skinny jeans she was wearing earlier and opted for some very low cut, white khaki shorts. The material is so thin that I can tell that shes not wearing underwear, which would explain that very lustful gaze Mike sent her before we retreated.

Ass-hole.

"Bella, close your eyes..." My hands that were previously groping her ample breast are now being pinned above my head. I look at her incredulously, purse my lips and then hesitantly comply.

"Rose," I begin with a whine."What are doing?" My hips impatiently jerk at the lack of weight and friction.

"Shhh, " she coos, slowly taking off my panties and placing something heavy and rather cool on my pelvis. "Just relax...can you spread your legs for me?" I do as im told and jolt at my bodies sudden intrusion; something hard and slick is filling me in the most glorious way. Then theres a snap and I cant help but feel like im wearing a very heavy diaper with a very large poo sticking my vagina.

"-What...what is that?" I make a move to open my eyes and croon my head, but a gentle swat at my inner thigh stops me. "Can I open them yet?"

"Almost." Is her sultry reply; I shiver in anticipation. The bed dips as she climbs on top and hovers over me. "Okay you can open them.." As soon as I open them I met with curious golden eyes. Shes practically smiling from ear to ear with a mischievous look in her eyes. My eyes glance lower past her perfect breast, flat stomach and alluring hips til they finally settle on a very large and very purple rod.

"Is that a um...a um..." Well "normal" Bella is back, and is currently blushing like an idiot.

"-A strap on?" If its even possible her grin gets even wider. "Yes, yes it is. And we're gonna use it.."

"-But I've never..."

"-I know. Thats why I want to try it. Be a little more adventurous I should say. Think of it as an early birthday present..." I look at it again with question. "Hey," she strokes my face soothingly as she see the hesitance still there. "We dont have to if you're uncomfortable. I just thought it'd be special for both of us.."

"-No, no, I want to. Its just...what if I dont do it right?" She laughs an non too lady-like laugh, and I just about die a little inside. My face has to be equivalent to that of a fire truck.

"Bella, seriously? You're worried about your performance?"

"Well yeah. I want to please you. I always want to please you.."

"And you will. You'll _definitely_ please me, Bella. So just relax...and enjoy the ride."

I sit up on my elbows and watch as she slowly glides down the purple shaft, biting her lip and making obscene noises as she does so. I now understand why guys obsess over sex, cause seeing her right now, fully taking "me" in is by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen. I could get addicted to this, addicted to her.

"Well start slow, okay?" She gently pushes me back into a laying position. Her hips dont move yet, but I feel her nails slightly dragging down my stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She hits a switch I assume, and I immediately jolt at the new sensation; something is reeking pleasurable havoc inside me.

"Holy fuck!" I arch my back and drive into her with force. Force I assume she likes since something monstrous rips through her throat.

"Bella, fuck, shh...," she forces her hands over my mouth in an attempt to quiet me; it works but it doesnt stop the need to jerk my hips. "Oh fuck...u gotta be quiet. Charlie's...Charlie's down stairs..." The only reply she gets is my eyes rolling to the back and another forced jerk. Honestly, im not the one shes should be worrying about, because compared to her, im like a mouse.

She rides me slowly at first, hips jerking with precision and purpose, steadily hitting that soft spot, driving us both crazy. The need to touch is insistent now, so I let my hands glide over her thighs, her hips, stopping to guide her to a rhythm, up her sides and stomach where I memorize each curve and muscles, her soft perky breast, her neck and finally her face. I brush my thumb against her bottom lip, she gladly opens and gentle sucks me into her mouth. The sight is too much, and I whimper in response.

"Mmm, fuck Bella. Kiss me." She replies through our lust filled hazed, arching and moaning into my touch. I do as im told, and hungrily consume her flesh. I kiss anything and everything I can find. Her shoulders, collarbone, neck and ultimately her mouth. The kiss is frenzied, sloppy yet careful at the same time. We dont need any accidents, although she seems much better at dealing with my blood.

"Talk to me. Tell me you love me." She moans against my lips and im not gonna deny her. I wrap my arms around her and hum against her chest. " I do," I pant. I fucking love you, Rosalie. So fuckin much.."

Her response is a groan, but its not enough. I want her wild, incoherent, and satiated by the time I through. I shift so that im now on top and in-between her legs. She regards me with a surprise look, which soon turns into that of pure bliss, now that my hips have begun to move. The bed squeaks and moves with the tempo of each thrust, and I faintly wonder if Charlie can indeed hear us.

"Fuck it..." my hips move more erratically at the thought and im rewarded with a loud moan followed by a slur of curses.

"Is it good, Rosalie?" Im not sure where all this confidence is coming from, but I think I like it.

"Oh god, yes, Bella! Its good...please dont stop.." To make her point clear, her legs wrap around my waist, forcing me closer and deeper. Im finding it hard to keep up my pace, let alone keep myself steady on top of her; my arms feel like jello and so does my stomach. Its keeps tightening in anticipation of a release.

My hands reach for hers and I lean forward so that im laying completely against her. My face takes refuge beside her neck, where I lick, nibble and whisper naughty thing into her ear.

"Tell me how good it is, Rose."

"Oh fuck! Its sooo fuckin good, Bella." Shes at my ear now, doing her own bit of licking. "Cant you feel it..how wet i am?"

Oh god. My hips begin to jerk so hard that my legs and toes start to cramp.

"How hard my pussy's clenching around you.." I hiss at her words, and then groan when I do indeed feel her clench below me.

"Rose, please.." I whine though for what, im not really sure.

"Please what, Bella?" Her nails are at my back now, lightly scratching and making me arch into her. My hands fist into the sheets as I stare at her pleadingly.

"Oh, god. Please just...that word.." I shake my head as I try to finish but im at a loss her words. Being this close, this deep inside her is suffocating.

"What word, Bella?" She nips at my lower lip, which is damn near dangling. "You mean...pussy?"

Fuck me, im almost there!

"Y-Yes...fuck, yes, that word! If...if you keep saying it, I dont know...I dont know if I can take it. Im gonna come...so hard..."

"But I want you to come...so hard inside me."

Im at the edge, just one more push and im done for.

"Make me yours, Bella. Make _it_ yours. Make me come...please make me come, Bella!" She practically begs with her hips, and its enough. The combination of her words, body and the feeling of the foreign object wiggling inside me is far too much. Im done, gone, completely lost as I fall over the edge taking her with me.

"Nnnhmm...Oh fuck, Rose... Im coming!" Her body jerks upward as she lets out her own slur of curse words, ripping the sheets and convulsing under me.

My body spasm one last time before I collapse on top of her. She holds me as I pant, whispering loving words and kissing my neck soundly.

"That was..."

"-Incredible, hot, orgasmic, breath of fresh air?"

"All of the above and then some." I shake my head and laugh. I sit up slightly and lay my head in my left hand while my other idly paints invisible picture on her collarbone.

"In school, you saw this coming?"

"Did I ever..."

"Well, was it...okay?" I ask with that all too familiar blush.

"Oh my god, Bella. Really? After all that moaning, screaming and dirty talk, you choose now, this moment to blush?" She shakes her head in amusement. "Serious issues..."

"Oh shush. Forgive me for not being so provocatively unabashed by our activities. I mean, jeez. I cant help if im just shy by nature..."

"I know," She smiles sweetly. "And thats one of the things that I love about you. Its very endearing.." A gentle peck of my lips leaves me with a feeling of self satisfaction.

"So, I was good then?"

"As if you dont already know that.."

"Yeah, I do. Butttt...I like when you tell me..." She may find my blushing endearing, but I find it annoying and embarrassing.

"Do you now?" Its a purr, a very sexy purr that sends shivers down my spine. "Well then, my sweet, innocent, little Bella. I'll be sure to tell you move often that you are the best lover, my only lover, and the love of my life. Its was fantastic, and I especially love it when you talk dirty to me..." She knows that I'll blush even harder at that, which is why shes giggling.

I groan in response and hide my face in her neck, inhaling and exhaling as I do. I really could get addicted to her, if I havent already.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. Just answer me this one question. Did _you_ enjoy your early birthday present?"

"Absolutely. Its by far the best present I've ever gotten." Theres no blush this time and no hesitance whatsoever as I finally meet her gaze. "Although, I think we might have did a number on my bed..." I jerk my hips to make my point, and listen at how badly my bed squeaks, along with a sudden moan from Rosalie.

"Easy there, champ. Dont want to restart something and possibly wake up Charlie.

"Crap, I forgot about Charlie! You dont...think he heard, right?"

"No, he was fast asleep way before we really got into it.."

"Oh.." And yes, thats a blush making its way to my cheeks.

"You really are too cute, Bella.." She smiles and nips my nose.

"Yeah, cause thats what I want to be..._cute_." I roll my eyes and allow my head to rest against her chest. "If I werent so tired, Id probably be offended by that..."

"Well its a good thing that your tired then, now isnt it?" Humor and sarcasm; two things I can appreciate and would if I werent already half-sleep.

"Mhmm. Night, Rosie-pooh.

"Night, Bella-boo."

**A/N: So there you have it, a chapter filled with sex as requested by a certain viewer. Im not at all a smut writer so if this aint good enough then tuff-titty! Lmao, but seriously I hope you enjoyed it, cause it may be the last for a very long time in this story. So hit me with some reviews!**


	26. The Begining Of The End

**A/N: Yeah, yeah, yeah, long time and all that other crap lol. Quick s/o to my spanish flower bomb, Izzy, lol. She helped me through alot, and is a very close friend of mine. Thanks Izzy, you're my prime time dime;) S/o to all my readers who have enjoyed my stories thus far and are hella patient with me. What can I say? Ima lazy ass, that, and work, so yeah. Oh and for those who've more than likely noticed how shitty the first couple of chapter to pretty much all my stories are, no worries, I will eventually go back and redo them. Think thats it, read and review, specially if you want that next chapter, that I already written, up and going by tonight;)**

** The Beginning of The End**

"Absolutely not, no way!" Even with my back turned, I still already know shes pouting. We're currently in my living, snuggled on the couch, with her deliciously pressed up against my backside. We're suppose to be watching Romeo & Juliet, but for some reason she thinks its better to talk about _that_, which will not be named.

"Bella, we've already discussed this plenty of times. Alice..."

"-No, you guys discussed it, remember?" Im getting annoyed, she and I are both aware of the fact, but she just keeps on pushing." My thoughts were completely thrown out the window if I recall." I sighed. "I mean, its my birthday, Rose, so why cant it be about me and what I want?"

She grew slack against me and I shuddered as she too sighed, feeling the coolness of her breath against my neck.

"It is about you, Bella. Its about you...and its about us, as in you and I..." She kissed my shoulder tenderly and began to rub at the exposed skin of my stomach. "You being born is the greatest celebration I could hope for. I just...I just want to share that...be apart of that with you. Is that too much to ask?"

I exhale deeply at this. Guilt is starting to set in; everyone is being so sincere about this, about wanting to share my birthday as a family...as a Cullen, so really, how can I refuse them?

"No," I say a little irritably. "Its not so bad, Rosalie. I just...you know how I feel about the whole thing, about aging, and then add to the fact that you guys want to go all out for it..." I shake my head. "Its just not my thing..."

"I know its not your _thing_, Bella. I do, and I know you have this weird aging complex..." My eyes squint involuntarily as my features contort into a fierce glare; I dont have a "complex"! "Just...think about it, okay? You still got about a half a day to go before then, so just really think about it..."

I dont say anything, I just turn my attention back towards the television.

"Im not going shopping..." I mumble as an after thought, making her giggle.

"I hate to break it to you, but im more than sure that you are, _sweetums_..." Is her smug reply as she no doubt taps at her skull. Her grip tightening around my waist, effectively pinning me against her frame; I closed my eyes and cautiously breathe deeply. Im instantly wrapped in everything Rosalie; her smell, her touch, her voice, everything and I both curse and praise it.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, _sweetcheeks_, but you and I both know your little minds eye isnt set in stone. So I wouldnt be too smug if I were you..." I tried not to shudder when she left out a throaty chuckle.

"Yeah, okay we'll see, Bella..."

"We _will_ see! Now hush, I need to focus on the movie...and so do you _missy_.

"Oh please, Bella.." She shifts forward a bit so that she can rest her chin on my shoulder. "I've got every aspect of this screenplay down pact...and so do you. You've seen this movie plenty of times..."

"I hardly think the twentieth century remake counts. I havent seen this version...and besides...I wouldnt be able to fully appreciate Shakespeare's gifts like he intended if I dont..."

She snorts, obnoxiously might I add.

"Fully appreciate it, huh? M'kay, well _appreciate_ it away..."

I roll my eyes at her unmistakable smirk and yet again, focus on the television...or at least try.

I swear shes adamant about not letting me watch this movie, because her hands are getting a little too frisky under this Afgan. Not only that, but she keep kissing behind my ear, like im not suppose to be effected by that?

"Would you prefer if I watched this alone?" I pant, pulling back from our inevitable heavy make out session that just took place. I watch a finely arched eyebrow raise amusedly before my cheeks begin to flame. Like im really complaining, right?

"No, not at all. By all means, watch to your hearts content.." I get the feeling shes being a bit smug about this whole situation, but id be lying if I said I didnt find it attractive. "But id personally like to watch you instead..."

"Rose!" I groan in a very un-lady like manner. "How am I suppose to focus on this if you're constantly being...being you!"

"Alright, alright, I'll tone it down. Watch your movie..." I smile brightly and peck her on the lips before settling comfortably and watching the film.

Its quiet for the most part and I am able to focus on the film. She occasionally gains my attention though, with a touch or a whisper; Romeo's line sound so much better coming from her.

"Hmm," she hums thoughtfully, gazing heavily at the screen. She has this off putting look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I dont know, but now that I actually look at it, Romeo seems a bit...dumb. Well not really dumb but foolish in his ways I guess. Really dont see how Juliet fell for the guy..."

"What...What do you mean?" I personally thought Romeo was a cutie, very true to his ways, and the romance just made him that much more irritable. He of course has nothing on Rosalie, but still...

"I mean he just seems reckless in his actions. He's too impulsive if you ask me, never really thinks it through..."

"Well, love is impulsive. You can just always go with your mind.." I blushed at the pointed, yet highly amused look on her face.

"Point taken, but, you have to admit that him killing Juliet's cousin, right after the wedding was a bit reckless...?"

"I guess," I shrug, "but our relationship is pretty impulsive. I mean, I really didnt need to think too much into it cause I pretty much knew that I love you from the beginning." Another shrug. "Never think..."

"Well I wouldnt say never, but I get what you mean..."

We're quiet, well aside from my occasional sniffle, to her amusement, and she too focus's fully on the movie until we get to Romeo's demise.

"Well, see know. I actually kind of envy him here..." I look towards the screen where Juliet has awoken to see Romeo's lifeless body.

"She's pretty enough...I guess..." I mumble to myself, totally misunderstanding her meaning; she of course laughs at my blatant show of jealousy.

"Jealous are we?" She coos, hugging me tighter briefly. "Thats cute, but no. I was actually referring to the whole death scene..."

"What um...what do you mean?" I didnt like where this was headed one bit.

"Well," she begins with an unknown look on her face. "Its so easy for you...for humans. I dagger to the heart, a vail of poison.." She continued nonchalantly.

"W-what?" Is my quiet gasp.

"Its something that crossed my mind once or twice. We've all thought about it..."

"What, suicide? Rose, why...how could you.."

"-Its not easy, trust me. I dont know how many times Carlisle said he tried..."

"-Thats not what I mean!" I said a little to haughtily. I take a few second to calm down before elaborating. "What I mean is, why would you want to kill yourself?"

"Its just something that...ran through my mind. I mean, when James had...and," theres a somber look on her face as she tries to voice her thoughts. " Edward and I...we didnt think we'd get there and time..and...I had to think of something..just in case..."

"Oh, Rose," I shake my head in understanding. "I wouldnt want that, you know that?"

"Yes, but I cant and wont have it any other way. Theres nothing here for me, if you're gone..."

"Please stop. Dont talk like that." My fingers lace between a silk thread of hair, and I slowly place it behind her ear. She looks at me shamefully. "Promise me you wont ever do or think something like that.."

"Bella, it doesnt even matter anymore. I've got you, and like I said, suicide is a bit more tricky for us. The only effective way would be to provoke the Volturi.."

"The Vol-what?"

She opened her mouth to explain but was caught off guard by two sudden lights, flashing through the curtain and alerting us to Charlie's return.

"Nevermind. Listen, I'll be back to pick you up in the morning for school..."

"Well, wait! I thought that you were um...gonna ya know...spend the night?" And of course my cheeks flush at my not so hidden proposition. Her eyes breifly flash in that predatorial way, sending a jolt of pleasure to my nether region.

The chuckle she gives is so sensuous that I cant help it when my leg twitches.

"I'd love to, believe me, but Esme needs me to help her with some things at the house..."

That Immediately kills whatever mood we have going on; somehow, I just know those "things" have every thing to do with my birthday.

"And what exactly are these "things" you speak of?" I fold my arms across my chest and tap my foot impatient; she ignores this and breaks out in the biggest grin I've ever seen, before enveloping me in a hug.

"Nothing to worry your pretty little head about..." She initiates a kiss before I can retort and all i can do is welcome it.

Its slow and precise; hands fist gently in hair, over waists, and lower until...

"I have to go.." She mumbles against my lips, slightly sucking as she does so. I shake my head "no" in response and try to grab more of her. She laughs at this and lets me have my way for a minute or two.

Kissing is something I will never get enough of. Its not only the feeling of her, but its the feeling it invokes; that and I like watching her eyes change. At first it use to creep me out when i'd feel her eyes on me as we were kissing, but now it excites me...very much so.

"Charlie's coming.." She pulls back immediately and straightens up so fast I have to blink a couple of times in order to fully gather what i just saw.

Charlie clambers in with a heavy sigh, exhaustion clear on his face. His shoes slip off at the door before he looks up and an off putting look settles on his features.

"Hey, Bells," an arch of the eyebrow as he gazes at Rose. "Rosalie..."

"Mr. S..." She flashes him a charming smile that leaves a red tint to his cheeks; even he cant resist her charm.

"H-hey dad. How was work?" He coughes in his hands, forcibly before regaining his composure.

"It was tiring, bells. Its like I've been sleep walking through it all but not exactly sleeping." He sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

"Well you go rest up. I'll go fix you a plate. I made spaghetti..." He nods and bristles towards us with an unknown look.

"Will uh...you be joining us for dinner too, Rosalie?"

She chuckles softly, no doubt from whatever thoughts she may be hearing at the moment. "No, sir. Not tonight. I have a few errands I have to help my mother with..." Our eyes connect briefly at the word "errands" and of course she smirks at the scowl on my face.

"Ahh, maybe next time then?" Is his half-hearted reply.

"Maybe indeed. But I must be off now...seeya around, Mr. S..."

"I'll um...walk you to the door!" I blurt out a little to eagerly, gaining a weird look from my dad and an amused one from Rose. He shakes his head, mumbles something incoherent and then climbs the stairs.

"There was a very vivid scene playing in his head a minute ago..." Rosalie says as we stand on the porch.

"What kind of scene?"

"This..." Before I can even form my features into that of confusion, her lips our on mine and I immediately melt.

"I'll see you in the morning, mkay?"

"Uh huh.." Yup, thats just about all I can manage after that kiss.

*T.I.M*

Dream

_Im not far now, i can see the grassy clearing up ahead. The suns shining brightly, illuminating the figure in the distance. As I approach slowly, I start to make out the soft features of Rosalie; shes smiling at me, a smile that holds such promise and I feel myself melt inside. It makes me stop in my tracks. My heart swells like so many other times at her inhuman beauty. Shes wearing a white sundress, which stops just above her knees. Her skin sparkles relentlessly and I almost have to shield my eyes from her beauty, but I dont...I cant._

_She holds out her hands and finally speaks in that velvety voice of her._

_"Bella, its time. Be with me, be my forever..." I nod slowly, heart racing and mind going haywire. I walk towards her, but I soon realize that with each step I take forward, she seems to get father away. _

_On instinct my feet became more urgent, agile, but it was no use. It was like I was running in place. And then, well then everything seem to fade to black._

_Why cant I reach her? Shes right there, right in front of me...I just have to reach. I can feel the tears running down my face as I continue to run. I lose it, as soon as I see the frown forming on her face as she began to turn around and...leave me?_

_"Wait, dont leave me! Im right here...just...just let me reach you!"_

_Shes fading. Everything around me is fading and when I can longer see her presence, I slump to the darkness and I cry._

_"Please, Rose...dont leave me. I n-need you..." I sob and continue ri repeat these words, until I heard a voice...her voice._

"_Bella_," a gentle shake at my shoulders. "Bella, wake up..."

I jolt awake at the unexpected touch, blinking panting heavily, and mumbling the words that haunted me in my dream. My chest hurts and im sweating profusely.

"Bella," I flinch slightly at her soft spoken voice before turning my head slowly to meet her gaze. Theres worry in her eyes and a frown, that same frown she had not even a minute ago. I cant look at her, its too overwhelming.

"Bella, sweetie, what happened? Why are you crying?" She shifts closer to me on the bed as she says this, making me slightly recoil. It'll hurt her no doubt, but I cant help it. She says that im crying; something I wasnt even aware of until I actually wipe at my face.

Its quiet for a moment, aside from my broken sobs. I can tell that she wants to do something; hold me, ask me how to make whatever happened go away, but she wont...she'll wait til im ready.

"You...you left me. I tried to...I tried to reach for you, but you wouldnt let me and..and..." I choke on my words, shaking my head and clutching my wet shirt as do so. I feel her move closer, feel her cold arms wrap around me, and i flinch again, but she ignores it and holds me tighter.

"You left me, Rose...you left me and needed you..." I find myself clutching onto her just as well, crying and nestling myself into her neck.

"Bella, I havent gone anywhere. Im here..." She pulls back to stare me in the eye. I fill her cool hands wipe at my face before gently running through my hair.

"You wouldnt leave me...right?" I know its dumb, but i just need something...reinsurance.

"Not in a million years. You're my life now...my love, why would I want to leave that?" She smiles at me and i cant help but return it, albeit an awkward smile. And then her lips brush my in the most tender way.

"Im here, Bella. And im not going anywhere, so no more tears, okay?"

I nod my head since words seem to be too much at the moment.

"Good, now get dressed _Bella-bear_," I momentarily scowl at Alice's nickname, to which she smirks. "Its almost time for school..." I shift off the bed with a deep sigh, dig out my wedgie, ignore the giggle it produces and move to start my daily routine.

"Oh, and Bella?" I turn my head to meet her gaze just before lifting my shirt over my head.

"Happy birthday..." Just when I almost forgot, _almost forgot_, she hits me that that dumb smirk.

Ugh!

"Really, Rose?"

"Hey, Im just sayin...might as well get my side of birthday wishes out of the way. Cause you got alot more coming..."

"Ugh, jeeze! Just when I almost forgot about this...this horrible day. You just had to remind me yet again.." I shake my head annoyingly and remove my pajama pants. "I hate my birthday. I hate turning eighteen, and right now, I really... dislike you..." I try to hold in my smile at the last part; she and i both know that was said half-heartedly.

"You may dislike me, babe, but you soooo love me. Just like you'll learn to love being eighteen...you're legal now." I ignore her pervy grin and stick my tongue out at her.

"Im _older_ now..."

"Eighteen is hardly old, babe. You should try being ninety-four and tell me how old you feel then?"

_Oh, I'd love too._ Of course I dont say this out loud because an argument isnt something Im too keen on right now.

"Ya, know...I should be thoroughly repulsed by that.." I begin with a smirk of my own. "Cradle robber much?" She giggles at this and is by my side, wrapping her arms around me in a matter of seconds.

"I suppose you should indeed," she purrs into my ear, whilst "helping" me unclasp my bra. I shudder as her finger tips graze the underside of my breasts. "But, I havent heard any complaints thus far.."

No, no she hasn't.

She moves a free hand so that its playing with the thin material of my panties, tugging slightly here and there before actually pulling them down. Her hand now settles just above my pelvic area, unmoving, as she kisses just below my right ear.

I hold my breath when her hand moves subtly lower, lower, and then...

"Welp, guess I better let you get dressed now, huh? Big day today and dont wanna be late for school..."

Just like that, shes gone; out the window in a flash, leaving me standing there naked and confused.

"ugh!"

*T.I.M*

It takes me a good thirty minutes or so to get dressed and ready for school. Charlie's already in the kitchen with a mug of coffee to his lips; he nods his head towards a plate of toast and I thank him with a peck to the cheek.

"Hey, Bells...almost forgot.."

Ugh, please not him too.

"Happy birthday.." He pulls out several gift from under the table and eyes me expectantly. Choosing to play nice, I sigh and open up my presents.

"Your mother said you had a printer so I went ahead and just got you a camera. Said she wanted pictures by the way.."

"Which explains the scrapbook huh?"

"Yup. Pretty adamant about that.." He adds with a shake of his head. "So hows it feel to be eighteen? You're almost an adult. I can tell too by the size of that grey hair sticking outta of your head..."

"-wait, what!" I fumble towards the mirror hanging beside the kitchen doorway, only to be rewarded with a deep, throaty chuckle from Charlie. "Thats so not funny.."

"It kinda was though. But hey, you should probably get going. Im guessing I'll see you later tonight since im assuming you have plans with Rose?"

"Yeah," I sigh. "She and her family have this whole 'thing' they have planned, which i dont really want any parts in but you see how that is..."

"Ahh, well I suppose it was inevitable, seeing as though her sister is Alice. That girl has alot of spunk. Those types always seem to get what they want..."

"Yeah, you're about right. But I gotta head out. I'll see you later, and uh...thanks for the gifts..."

"Anytime kiddo."

Theres a knock on the door, an all too familiar knock.

Im greeted yet again with a a dazzling, dimpled grin which soon turns into a coy smile.

"What's that?" I point towards the not subtle object behind her back.

"What's what?"

"Rose, I swear if thats a gift I'll..."

"You'll what?" She purrs, immediately taking up any and all of my personal space.

"I'll huh...ummm..."

"-Rosalie..." Charlie interrupts from behind me, clearing his throat and eying up skeptically.

"Good-morning Charlie. I just came to pick up the birthday girl..." Her hands unwind from behind her and she produces a small bouquet of flowers.

_Could of sworn I said no gifts._ I sigh, roll my eyes but take them nonetheless.

"You mind putting this is some water? We gotta jet..."

"Sure thing. Take care of my girl, _Rosalie.." _Of course he scowls at her when he says this.

"Sure thing, Mr.S. Laters..."

*T.I.M*

Thanks to Rosalie's need for speed driving skills, we make it to school with time to spare. She parks in her usual spot, right next to Emmet's massive jeep.

Im aware of that big child like grin plastered onto his face as he sticks his head out of the drivers window and waves. I smile and shake my head at him.

"Hey, Belly! Heard you popped outta your moms vagina today, eighteen years ago..." A toothy grin as he steps out of the Jeep, swiftly walks over to my side of the car and ruffles my hair. "Here ya go..." He plops a cd into my lap, to which I eye curiously. "Its a mix tape. _You'll_ definitely love it.." Theres a look that passes between him and Rose, which has me a bit skeptical about the whole thing. He saunter off leaving me dumbfounded by his expression; out of habit I look towards the vacant spot right beyond that of Emmet's and I frown at my reminder of Edwards absence.

Four months and still no word. Im starting to wonder if he'll ever come back.

I feel a tentative cold hand coax me out of my thoughts. She smiles, nods her head towards the school and grabs for my bag in the back seat.

"I'll never get use to this. Do they always have to stare?" I mumble, fully aware her sensitive ears; everytime we come to school, people stare us, or rather Rosalie I should say.

"Its human nature to want to stare at us. The attraction lures them in...its all part of the game, babe.."

"Conceded much?" I joke, reaching for her hand.

"Jealous much?" She teases back, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

Im about to retort but I notice she stops and tenses, cutting off any and all other thoughts I have.

"Rose, what's wrong..."

"Somebody wants to see you.." My face scrunches up and I open my mouth to ask what she means when a familiar voice catches me off guard.

"Bella!" My tan and very tall bestfriend yells from across the lot. I dont even think twice, I immediately run into his huge arms.

"J-Jake, what..what are you doing here?"

**Rosalies Pov**

I watch with little restraint as Bella is smothered by that _dog_. He's doing little effort to control his thoughts and that smug smirk making its way onto his lips.

"So what, you ditching today?"

"Nah, we kinda have an extended day today. So I got about an hour or so to spare...figured I may as well go pick up this part for the Rabbit. Almost got it up and ready...you should come for a ride when its done..."

"-The rabbit huh? Is it fast?

I cant help but snort at that. That car was and never will be fast. Its a piece of junk.

"Its um...descent..." He chuckles, scratching at the back of his neck. At his _flees _to be more precise.

"Well I dont wanna keep you from your..._her,"_ his eyes flicker towards my own and I notice the slight tense in his posture before he glares; theres a passive look from me. "Oh hey, I almost forgot..." I watch his large hands fumble around in his pocket until he pulls out what seems to be a dream catcher. "Happy birthday...your dad told my dad.."

"Of course he did.." Even I have to smirk at her obvious lack of enthusiasm. She seems grateful nonetheless and takes the gift.

"Its a dream catcher...catches bad dreams.."

"Wow, its actually just what I needed.." An unmistakable frown forms on my features and im doing my best to fight off the overwhelming emotions radiating off of Scrappy-Doo; I could really do without Jaspers "gift right now.

Its more like a curse at the moment.

She says her goodbyes and I try not to gag at the stench embedded in her clothes as she reaches for me yet again.

"So, Jacob Black can get you a gift, but I cant?" I ask as we walk through the schools main doors. Im teasing her, but still, I cant help but feel a little hurt by this fact.

"Rose," she begins with a sigh while placing a strand of hair behind her ear. Its a nervous habit. "Its...different with Jake...I can..give back to him. But with you...I cant...I dont have anything to give in return..."

How could she seriously think that?

"Bella, im not materialistic...I dont care about "things", I care about you...and you give me everything in return just by being here...by being alive..." She looks at me shamefully.

" Rose, I..."

"-Brace yourself.." She opens her mouth to inquire about my words but is cut off by a spiky haired, gleeful vampire, who just so happen to tackle her to the ground.

"Bellaaaa! I missed you!" I smile as she practically sings her name and snuggles her closer, arms wrapping carefully around her neck.

"Alice, are you crazy! You could of killed me!" Even as Bella says this, she seems to be having a hard time controlling her laughter.

"Silly Bella, I know my own strength and I didnt hurt you, now did I?"

"Nooo, but still...and as much as I love your affection, Alice. Get off, people are starting to stare..."

"Oh right, sorry..." Bella mumbles a "thank you" when Alice help her up and we all begin our trudge through the hallways towards our lockers.

"Sooooo...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Bella scrambles over to cover her mouth.

"Alice, shh! I dont want the entire school knowing!" A not so subtle roll of the eyes from Alice as she completely dismisses this.

"Anywayyyy...I so cant wait til after school. Its gonna be so much fun!"

"Oh? And why is that?"

An arch of her left eyebrow.

"Well, ya know...we're going shopping for your party dress, silly!"

"Hnm," her lips purse. "You and Rosalie really have it in your head that im gonna do this. Sorry to rain on your parade, Ali, but as you can see...aint no sunshine here. Forecast was pretty clear about that this morning..." I snort at her attempt of cleverness; that was a pretty good way of saying no.

Unfortunately for Bella, we all know Alice isnt one to be deterred.

"Well I hate to break it to you, _Bella_. But the forecast was pretty clear when it said there was a slight chance of: shut the fuck up, with highs and lows of:cause you're going.." I practically bark out my laughter at Bella's disgruntled look. She of course fully gathers what she said and tries to shove her, to no avail.

"But seriously, Bella, come with me. Pleaseeeee?"

She hits her with the big puppy-dog pout and I feel her slightly caving in; but a little push never hurt.

"Fine," she finally sighs, giving into her request with a little help from myself and my "twin". "But no more than ten stores and no more than two hours..."

"Ohhh goody! You wont even notice the time fly by, I promise.."

As if she just now notices Jaspers presence, she squints then frowns in realization.

"Wait a minute. Jasper...ugh, no Rosalie! You guys did it, didnt you? Thats not fair!"

We both choose to look away innocently at this.

"Sorry, Bella." A deep chuckle from Jasper. "Happy," he begins but decides against it when he sees the look on her face. "Nevermind. See ya later..."

School goes by dreadfully slow. Aside from Bella taking pictures for her scrapbook, nothing too relevant has happened thus far. Im sitting in my last class for the day, math and im trying to concentrate but my mind is way too focused on what surprises await for my Bella; shes definitely going to enjoy this birthday.

**A/N: Alright for those who know me on a more personal level, know that im going through a kind of spiritual transition. And what that eventually means is that one day I will abandon this site, but as for right now, im gonna continue to write because its my passion and im not fully ready to let it go. So do forgive me for being and acting like sucha hypocrite, specially towards my one young friend on here, I still believe in everything I told you, but as I've learn, im not just gonna be able to change over night. **

**Oh and sorry if I pulled a Meyers on you during this chapter. Feel like theres alot of unnecessary talking. Lol, call it the ass-hole in me, but i like to draw it out and make you squirm for more:D I want some reviews if you want the next chapter, its already written so make it happen:)**


	27. The Beginning of The End Pt 2

A/N: My apologies for the mix up. I uploaded some of my older chapters that I redid and it caused some issues.

Beginning of The End Pt 2

The whole shopping trip was an adventure in its self. Surprisingly enough we only spent about a half an hour looking through about six stores. The most interesting part of the day thus far had to have been the car ride home.

"What's that ya got there?" Alice asked as I placed Emmet's gift into the player.

"I dont know, something Emmet made for me." I push the play button "He and Rosalie were acting pretty weird about it too..."

"Um, Bella I wouldnt..."

_"-Pop that pussy, hey, pop that pussy baby!.." _My eyes immediately bulged out of their sockets.

"What the...?" I fumbled with the keys of her stereo, trying to cut it off but of course I only ended up making it worse; my hands evidently hit the forward button

_"Ass, titties. Two asses , four titties..."_

_"Omgosh!" _I was beyond blushing at that moment, and the fact that Alice was giggling uncontrollably wasnt helping.

Finally after partially suffering through something called "Pussy-popping," I manage to turn the offensive music off.

Never again. Lets just say im glad thats over and done with. They'll definitely be getting a piece of my mind today.

By the time that was all said and done, and of course the whole "feeding the human" fiasco as Alice puts it, was taking care of, it was about four-thirty. She said she needed to go hunt and would return in order to help me get ready for the party.

As promised she returns shortly, hopping through my window with ease and practically dances towards me.

"Alright, Bella, the party doesnt start for another hour or so." She peers at her watch. "Its five-fifteen so thats plenty of time. You go shower while I get your clothes organized..."

I do what im told; easily getting in and out, taking time to wash my hair as needed. As I emerge I notice a rather large box in the middle of my bed; one that I dont quite recognize from our little trip.

I open it with a small gasp; In the box is a rather expensive looking evening gown with making stilettos.

"Alice is that...Vera Wang?"

"A Vera Wang Black Moiré Faux wrap dress to be exact..."

"Alice, I thought I told you.." She quickly silenced me with her finger.

"Relax, Bella. Technically I didnt buy that _today_; I ordered it a week ago so it doesnt count..." She says matter of factly, a smug smirk playing on her lips. Im beyond annoyed at this point.

"So, you bought this dress and still made me go shopping for what reason again?"

"No reason," she shrugs, "I just love to shop."

I sigh, because really thats all I can do.

"Whatever. Can you at least help me into it so I can see how it looks?

As I slip into the dress, she zips me up from behind and I turn to look at myself in the full length mirror; I have to admit, I look pretty good. Kind of makes my breast look a bit perkier.

"Wow, Bella. You look hot." She grins at me in the mirror and then moves towards her bag.

"Alright, you probably might wanna take that off so I can do your hair and make up..."

We settle into idle chatter as she begins the grueling task of making me pretty. My mind starts to wonder towards that whole "death" conversation I had with Rosalie.

"Alice?" She doesnt stop her ministrations but she acknowledges me with a "Hmm?"

"Well, somethings been kind of on my mind." She regards me with a nod. "Yesterday, Rose and I were watching Romeo and Juliet and she made a comment that kind of...worried me. Said something about envying death..."

Her eyes catch mine in the mirror before she sighs and puts down the brush.

" Death is a bittersweet Ideal for us, Bella. Some of us crave it more than blood itself." She seems far in thought for a moment. "After Rose was changed, she tried to kill herself several times because she thinks of herself as a monster. Of course she failed since we're practically indestructible.." She pauses. "Then well, then there was the whole James thing. I saw many outcomes to that story," she frowns. "One in which she didnt make it in time. If that had happened, if you would of died...she would of killed herself..."

"But you said so yourself that you guys cant..."

"Yes, I did. But there are effective ways of accomplishing that. The Volturi for instance..."

"-Volturi?" My eyes go wide at the mention of this name.

"Yeah. The Vultori are a very old and very powerful family. They set the law for our kind..."

"I didnt know vampires had laws.."

"Yes, a few. Some more important than others. Though, we've already broke the most important law. One that would mean certain death if they found out..."

I shiver at the thought. "W-which law is that?"

"We must never let our existence be known to humans..."

I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat; I was the key in all this; In everything that has gone wrong so far. I, a human, would be putting them in danger if these Volturi found out.

"Bella, I know what your thinking. And dont. Dont ever think that. You're my bestfriend, my sister and I would gladly give up my life for you if that were the case..." She hugs me from behind.

"Thanks, Alice. And Id do the same for you too.."

"Alright, enough of the mushy stuff. Lets get you into this dress and heels..."

"Heels?" I deadpan. "Alice, with all things considered, I think I should at least be able to pick my own shoes. I'll kill myself even before I make it to your house in these things..." I hold up the offending items.

"Fine, but only because its your birthday.

*T.I.M*

We approach the house and I do my best to ignore that faraway glint in Alice's eyes, and that unmistakable grin on her lips as she comes to.

"Alright, what'd you see?"

"Nuh uh. Cant tell you cause its a surprise..." We get out of the car, me shaking my head as I do, and her bouncing towards the house merrily.

As soon as I approach the door, it flies open and im immediately greeted with hugs. Esme is quite eager to get a hold of me and I find myself embracing it.

"Bella, its so good to see you! I missed you.." She beams at me, making me blush slightly. "Isnt that right, honey?" She peers up at Carlisle, who seems just as happy as she is. "Quite. Its good to see you again, Bella.."

"Thanks, Esme..Carlisle. I missed you guys too..."

"Awww, what about me, _Ella_?" Im enveloped into a gentle bear hug from my man-bear.

"I missed you too, Emmet. Though I did just see you not even four hours ago..." He flashes me a big dimpled, toothy grin before shrugging his shoulders. "Oh yeah, how'd you like your mix tape?"

An unmistakable frown forms on my face and I do my best to try to shove him without hurting myself.

"Not funny! You and Rose are seriously screwed in the head I hope you know.."

He barks out a throaty laugh to which Alice joins and all I can do is shake my head.

"I hope you didnt have anything to do with that, Jasper?" The smile that he gives lets me know that he's having trouble still trying to adjust, but he chuckles nonetheless.

"I assure you. I had absolutely nothing to do with that..."

We all share a laugh, and its then that I realize that we're missing someone.

"Where's Rosalie?"

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel a light breeze blow by me and I look up to see golden eyes gleaming down at me.

"Right here, babe.." She leans down to peck me on the cheek. "You look so beautiful, even in your Chucks," she peers down at my feet with a grin. " I just want to eat you all up..." I release a small gasp and then blush when I see all eyes on me.

She pulls back with a smile and all I can do is stare at her. (Shes wearing the same shit she wore in the movie lol) Im pretty sure I look like an idiot just gawking but I cant help it.

"Ahem," Alice forces out, gaining both of our attention. "If you two are done with the sex-me- eyes. We'll move on to Bella's surprise..."

"Alice, really...dont you guys think you've done enough?"

"Nonsense. Now come, close your eyes..." She practically drags me along. I do as im told and allow myself to be lead wherever. The soft sound of keys being manipulated makes my heart beat uncontrollably. A giggle from Alice confirms my suspicions on where and who im being led to.

We come to a stop and I feel her hand leave my own.

"Okay, Bella. Open your eyes," is her whispered command.

Slowly I open my eyes as the gentle keys come to a stop, and exhales deeply.

"Surprise!" I hear everyone shout behind me.

"E-Edward..." He smiles one of those crook smiles and takes my hand into his own.

"Hello, Bella.." My hand shakes when i feel his lips caress it. "Happy birthday..." Right now, at this very moment, I could care less about how much I dread my birthday . Because right now, its one of the best days of my life.

I immediately throw myself at him; im so overwhelmed with joy that I just sob. He lets me, embraces me tighter and whispers how much he missed me.

"E-Edward how...where..when did you." I shake my head and he chuckles at my attempt to speak clearly. "I missed you so much. I thought...I thought you would never come back.." His hands wipe at my wet cheeks and he chuckles.

"Silly, Bella. I would never leave you for good...especially not with Rosalie. Somebody has to watch over you two.." His playful tone earns a few laughs from everyone before he becomes more serious.

"I just needed time to think, is all."

"I guess. But, we have alot of catching up to do.."

"That we do, Bella. That we do..." I take full notice to his appearance. He of course still looks the same in the expects of facial features. His hair is still unruly and finely gelled into his usual style. His black suit is tailored to perfection and only adds to his attractiveness.

"Come, lets us enjoy this evening..." I gladly accept his hand, gaining a loving smile from Rosalie and we all settle into idle chatter.

Edward tells me stories of where he's been. Alaska, New Zealand, Amsterdam and many more. He brought a gift from each place; they were all charms, which confused me until he pulled out an expensive looking bracelet.

"Edward...its beautiful. But its too much..."

"Its never enough, Bella. I saw it in window during a brief visit in France..." His fingers graze my skin as he helps put it on my wrist.

"Hey, shes not suppose get presents til after pictures!" Alice tisks, tapping her foot against the floor while holding my camera in her hand. "Hope you dont mind, but I found it in your bag.."

"Not at all. Mom wants me to share the memories with her, so by all means I guess..."

"Good. Okay, you and Edward first..." She pushes us into whatever position she sees fit and then flashes the camera. She does this for everyone, paying special attention to Rose and myself.

"Okay love birds. Show me some love..." Rosalie has no problems showing her love at all; she initiates a kiss that leaves me blushing.

Flash.

"Okay, present time! Here, this is from Emmet.." I look towards the said "boy" and shook the box; not even a rattle.

"Its a stereo for that piece of junk car. Already installed it." He smiles triumphantly at this.

"Thanks Emm, but dont be hatin on my truck. Seen some tough times..."

"Oh I believe it.."

"Alright, alright. This ones from Rose.." I feel a tentative arm wrap around my waist as I open my gift. I open the satin box and im greeted with sapphire.

"It was my mothers. She gave it to me on my sixth tenth birthday. I had it appraised and refurbished..." The sapphire is huge, overwhelmingly so.

"Rose, I shouldnt...I cant..."

"Ya know, thats twice today that you've tried to deny me. Im starting to feel unwanted..." Shes teasing again, but part of me knows shes also serious.

"Its beautiful, Rosalie." I say, giving her hand a squeeze. "Too beautiful for words. Thank you..."

She smiles at this; a really big smile that makes my heart melt.

"You're welcome, love."

"Okay," Alice cuts in. " Now mine and Jaspers!"

I shake my head at her eagerness and try unwrapping the paper of my gift. Like the klutz that I am, I tear the paper but in the process I cut my finger.

"Ouch...paper cut..." I was too busy examining the damage that I hadnt notice Rose tense up until it was too late.

"No!" Im finally brought back to reality; A reality where im in a house full of vampires and a reality where im fully aware of the animalistic growls thrashing within Jasper.

I feel the wind knocked out of me when Rosalie pushes me back and out of the way, as Jasper launches himself at me. I crash with a small thud and wince at the pain shooting in my arm. Dazed and slightly disoriented I look up to see Jasper being propelled in the air just before he crashes into the dining room table. He quickly recovers, snarling and tries again; Emmet tries to grab him on the left but he fakes to the right, while dodging Carlisle. Rosalie tenses up, ready to collide if need be, but its Edward that manages to stop his attempts. He uses his forearm to clothes line him, and Jasper is forced onto his back at the unexpected act and then pinned to the ground.

"Jazz, Jazz...shh." Alice tries to console him more but with the way that he's thrashing on the floor, I dont think its working. "Its okay...its just a little.." She tenses and I can faintly make out the sharp intake of air before she shudders. "Blood.."

My arm is bleeding uncontrollably, forcing all eyes on me. The only pair that I pay attention to are Rosalie's; the look shes giving me says it all. Shes not happy about this and she'll more than likely blame herself.

I watch as the majority of the house retreats outside while Carlisle looks me over.

"Rose, go make sure your brothers okay. He's most likely hurting and he'll need you there for support..." I frown at the brief flash of disappointment in her eyes; she hesitates before walking away.

*T.I.M*

"How can you do this? The blood I mean..." I wince at the first stitch.

"Years of practice, Bella. It wasnt easy, trust me."

"Have you...ever thought about doing things the _opposite_ way?"

He stopped momentary to examine my face.

"No. I guess somehow...I've always known that this was the way I wanted to live. That saving, instead of taking a human life was the right path for me..."

Its quiet for a moment as he continues on with the task.

"Ya know, all my cuts and bruises could be avoided if im changed..."

I watch in fascination as Carlisle moves his hands with precision; the stitching itches more than it hurts.

"Rosalie...and even Edward have a rare out look on our species, I should say. While most of our kind learn to embrace what we are, whether its by sacrificing an animal or...the _other_ route. She and Edward havent...they despise what we are. They believe we are damn...monsters unworthy of savior..."

He applies alcohol to the now seal wound, making me wince yet again.

"Sorry. Edward is a bit more open minded in the aspects of religion...God. He does believe that Heaven, god, and Hell exist, like myself. But he thinks of us as lost souls. Theres no afterlife for us..."

"And Rose?"

"Rose did at one point believe in all these things...an afterlife, God.." He dumps the bloodied gauze in a metal container and proceeds to burn them. "But now, she dismisses the fact. The only thing she believes in thus far is her ability to endure. And for all these reason she...they believe, they wont allow nor want this life for you..."

"Well, I just dont think its fair. What if I chose it...if its something I want..?" He look at me sympathetically.

"Tell me, Bella. In knowing this, In knowing all that I've said and what they believe to be true. If you were in either's shoes, and believed what they believed... do you think you could take away their souls?"

The question makes me stumble for second. If he had ask if Id risk my soul for theirs, then the answer would be a yes. But would I, could I risk their souls?

"You see what im getting at?" He smiles sadly at the perplexed look on my face.

"Its still my choice.." I mumble more to myself.

"Its hers, too." I was about to retort until he held up his hand, silencing me. " If you so wish for her, or even Edward to do it, it is indeed their choice as well. Something they'll have to deal with for the rest of their _life_..."

"And you. What if you did it...how would you feel about it..?"

He chuckles to himself before waving in mock surrender. "Ohhhhh no. I wouldnt even dream of crossing that line. Not only would this whole discussion put me at ends with both my daughter and son.." He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "Its just not my place to meddle. You're Rosalie's. and vampires tend to be very territorial about these things..."

I hummed thoughtfully and climb down from the medical table. Carlisle begins the task of properly cleaning his work area; my eyes flicker towards a large painting hanging right above his head.

"Hey, is that...you, Carlisle?" He doesnt even look towards the said painting, just nods his head.

"That was during one of my many visits with the Volturi..."

"_Thats_ the Volturi?" I say, more than just a little surprised by this fact; they look harmless. "I mean, I expected like...I dont know..."

"-Monsters?" He raises an eyebrow amusedly. Well its not quite the word I was looking for, but its close I guess. "On the contrary, Bella. The Volturi are very refine and renown individuals. They do have cruel tendency but I learned alot from my times spent with them..."

"Has Rosalie and the others ever met them?"

"All of our kind have or will. They are the law of course and we must all know what and who await us if we choose to turn a blind eye towards the _order._"

"So you basically only meet up with them when laws need to be upheld?"

"Not really. They do show interest in certain individuals outside of these matters. They've shown a great interest in this coven especially.."

My eyebrows furrowed. Im about to further my inquiries but the creak of the door throws off my thoughts.

"Its getting late," Rosalie states robotically with her eyes not meeting my own. "I should take you home..." That same look from earlier is plastered on her face.

"But its not even nine yet.." I protest as her eyes flash with something unknown, something unsettlingly. "I'll be in the car..." She states, ending the conversation all together.

I frown as she closes the door and look towards Carlisle for...something.

"Sorry, Bella. You know she can be sometimes..."

*T.I.M*

"Its not you're fault, Rose." Its the only thing I can think to say as we drive in awkward silence; this is more awkward than my hurried goodbyes to the Cullens.

Everyone was still rattled over the situation and the only goodbyes I got was from Esme, who was darn near in tears. Emmet, who most certainly didnt let anything get to him, and Alice who seemed a bit solemn about the whole thing. Jasper was with Edward, absolutely nowhere to be seen.

"It is my fault, Bella. All of it. If I would of listened to what you wanted to do in the first place, and even have the party...this wouldnt have happened." Her head shakes pitifully. "I couldnt even see it coming...just like with James..." The last part was a afterthought but it was unnerving to say the least. How can she even compare this to that situation?

"You cant see everything at every moment, Rose. Its impossible, even for you.." I already know what im about to say will anger her more, but I need and want her to understand that its what I want. That no matter what, im still going to be adamant about it.

"You cant protect me all the time. The only way I'll ever really be safe is if you change me..." As expected, she immediately slams on the breaks and im grateful for wearing my seatbelt; she talks about protecting me all the time, but here she is practically shoving a hole in the bottom of the car. Thank god for seatbelts.

"Dont." She hisses through clenched teeth as her heands flex against the wheel. "You're not ever being changed. Not by me, not by Edward, not by anyone. Im done with this conversation, now lets go..." She opens and slams the door, not enough to break anything but just enough to make the car rattle. I watch in with confused eyes as she comes to my side, opening the door to reveal that familiar driveway. I hadnt even noticed my surroundings.

"Why are being this way? Acting so...distant?" For the first time in very long while, she actually glares at me.

"Me? Bella, cleary you dont understand the altitude of what just happen back there. Because if you did, you'd be a bit more understanding on the matter" She quips incredulously. "I mean god, you could of died and the first thing out your mouth is just that...death!" I flinch at her words causing her to wince slightly; she takes a few deep breathes before visibly calming.

"I love you, Bella...more than you know. And if he would of..." She couldnt look at me as she trailed off. "I just wish you'd understand..."

The feeling of guilt, of the pain im causing her is becoming unbearable; its not my intentions to make her suffer or to fight for that matter.

"Im sorry.." I reach for her hand, squeezing it slightly to gain her attention. The look on her face, the sadness make my heart hurt. "I love you, too. And I dont want to fight.."

The longer we just stand here, looking so blindly at each other, the more distant I feel. I feel like each second im losing something. I need to feel something more than this, I need to feel and know that everything's okay.

"Its still my birthday...and I havent gotten my wish yet.." Theres no blush, no biting of the lip, just certainty and absolute confidence.

"What is it that you wish..." Those sunkist eyes are peering down at me knowingly and expectedly; the first thing that comes to mind is the first time she looked at me, like really looked at me. But unlike before, I know now that she loves and wants me.

I dont say anything, I just kiss her...with everything that I have. It takes her a minute to react since she seems a bit caught off guard, but she soon returns my passion. Its slow, gentle, loving and sensual all in one. It feels like its the first and last time we'll ever kiss. My tongue and mouth caresses her, gaining a moan now and then. And when i feel the need to pull away, I dont; I reach for more of her until my lungs are begging for air. She pulls back, holding my face in the palms of her hand as I struggle for air and just stares at me.

"Make love to me tonight." I mumble, pulling her ever closer. Her brows furrow as her nostrils flare, no doubt from my body's reaction; she wants too, that much is clear from the fire in her eyes.

"Not tonight, Bella." She sighs heavily and leans her forehead against my own, holding me tightly all the while. "My family and I have some things we have to handle..."

My face contorts in confusion at this. What does she mean by _handle_?

Her face softens at my obvious thoughts.

"Just how bad are things gonna be after this?" Im hoping shes indeed seen something in the future thus far that will ease this foreboding feeling in my chest.

"Theres nothing to worry about, Bella. Jasper will probably need some time to cope...he's very upset with himself right now..."

"And thats all you see, or saw rather?"

"I havent seen anything, sweetie. But I _know _its gonna to be fine. Theres nothing to worry about, Okay?" I look at her, directly in her eyes to see if shes honestly being truthful with me, and all i see is her eyes...is love.

"Okay. But...can you just stay with me for a bit? Just til I fall asleep...I dont want to be alone..."

She hesitates for second; an unknown look marring her face as she debates.

"Alright. You go get washed up and I'll be back soon...gotta go hunt." She kisses my forehead and this time its me who hesitates as she tries to let go. " You're coming back, right?" My hand is holding hers so tight my knuckles are more than likely white.

"Of course, babe." I visibly calm at the mention of my pet name. "I wont be long. Now go ahead...hop to it!" I giggle as she playfully swats at my butt and I happily do as im told.

*T.I.M*

"You're being distant again..." We're laying in bed, in silence aside from the soft voices from the t.v. Im snuggled into her right side, right leg hitched over her frame as she draws lazy patterns on my arm. She lets my hand play with her free one.

It hadnt taken me long to shower; being careful of my wound, I was in and out within fifteen minutes. And I thought that with her fed, things would seen slightly better, but what greeted me when I step into my room was the same solemn face I left minutes prior. That was over an hour ago and still nothing has changed.

"Im not..." She shifts and I though I cant see her face, I can still feel her eyes on me.

"Yes you are. You're quiet and I know when your here and when your mind is off somewhere else..."

"Im here, Bella.." I shake my head in disagreement and shift so that I can see her face. "You're suppose to be sleep.."

"Im not tired. Just...be honest with me. I know you know something I dont.."

"-I've been honest and im being honest right now. Everything is and will be as it should. Conversation over, now sleep.."

I push against her, up and out of her embrace; something she rarely allows me to do but she can tell im very upset.

"Dont do that," I hiss, glaring down at her blank face. "Dont talk to me like im a child...like im undermining you..."

Her eyes close and she puff out a bit of unneeded air.

"Bella, please..." Her jaw is set, letting me know shes getting very irritated but I dont care, shes gonna get a piece of my mind.

"No, Rose. Im not blind and im not a child..."

"I dont want to argue, Bella.." The tone in her voice is one that is of warning.

"Then all you have to do is be honest with me!" I shout, rising from my bed, hands fisted at my side.

"I am being honest!" Shes in front of me in seconds, pinning me to the wall as her fist slams against it. Shes heaving and I should be scared but im not. "Im being honest with you, Bella." She whispers, slumping a bit as her frame shakes. Her face softens and I can just make out the way her lips quivers slightly. "Im being honest when I say I dont know. I dont what's going to happen and," her head shakes. "It scares me that I dont..." Theres a whimper that escapes her just before she turns away from me.

"Rose, I..."

"I should go. " She says, completely cutting me off."Ive upset you and for that...im very sorry.." She blurs to the window.

"Rose, wait.."

"-I'll...see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Bella.." And just like that, shes gone and the tears begin to fall.

Theres only one thing im sure of at the moment, and thats that sleep will not come easy tonight.

**A/N: There were three songs in this chapter that I used. **

**1. Too Live Crew's Pop That Pussy**

**2. Dj Assault's Ass and Titties**

**3. Ludacris's Pussy Poppin**

**I did that whole bit as a request from one of my readers and I do hope that you enjoyed it. I try to cater to my readers every now and then lol.**

**Im gonna explain the whole thing about Rosalie's visions. Since Edward is the first sibling she** **met with a gift, shes had more time to perfect the ability. Since Alice herself hasn't fully perfected her gift, at least not in my version, Rosalie cant "see" as much as Alice can. And we all know Alice cant control what and when she sees something, again this is only in my story since I havent read any of the books. Skimmed? (New Moon) Yes but not actually read.**


	28. This Is The End, Roslyn

**A/N: Alot of alerts, favorites and a few reviews, not too many of later, but I wont complain. Im very grateful that you guys are still into this fic and im doing my best to keep at it. Some of you guys will probably be upset with this chapter, lol, but what can I say? Oh and again I apologize for the whole chapter mix up thing, didnt quite think that one through I guess. *shrug* R/R please!**

**This Is The End, **_**Roslyn.**_

Sleep indeed did not come easy for me. My body was tired but it was like my mind just wouldnt shut off. I kept searching for that cool sensation thats usually around me, but she was gone. I made her flee away from me.

So yes, this morning was...atrocious; my arm aches and my whole body hurt. Felt like I got hit by a truck. And of course, Charlie asked how the get together went, which I politely lied and said it went great. He went back to his paper and coffee and I made my way out the door for school.

Which is where you'll find me at this very moment. I do my usual routine, look for that familiar red Mercedes; its there along with that same sad face from last night.

_"Great, Bella. Shes still upset."_

I park my car a foot away and its then that I notice the vacant spot thats usually occupied by Emmet and the lot. I shake off that uneasiness welling up in my stomach and walk over to her. Shes leaning against the trunk of her car, looking everywhere but at me.

"Hi," Its a whisper but I can tell that she heard it from the subtle twitch in her features. Her lips are in a thin line and brows are slightly furrowed.

"Hello," I frown a bit at how cold shes being and scratch at my arm; that seems to get her attention. She gently grasps it into her hand and caresses the wound over my thin top with her thumb; I sigh at the coolness."Its bothering you.." Im not sure if its a question or a statement.

"No, its fine." I lie, peeking up at her through my lashes. Shes frowning and seems deep in thought. "Im sorry.." Im doing my best to keep the tears away; biting my lip, blinking my eyes and even scuffing my shoes against the ground.

She tenses a bit before letting my arm go with a sigh; that frown still apparent on her face. I already miss her cool hands.

"Sorry for what? You didnt..."

"-For everything. For being a klutz, for ruining the party and..and last night. What happen before you left..." She frowns deeper at this and all I want to do is fall forward into her arms.

"Bella," her head shakes. "You might at well just apologize for breathing." She smiles lightly, in spite of herself. " None of that is your fault. Nobody could have seen that coming, except..." She pauses and notices the hard look on my face, she then sighs. "As far as the arguing goes? It was a bit intense and im sorry if I frightened...or hurt you.." Shes apologizing? I ignore the question, forcing it into the back of my head and finally give into the need to feel her. I lean forward, allowing my whole body to fit into hers; she hesitates before wrapping her arms around me.

"Are you upset with me?" I sniffle into her shirt.

"No, not with you..." Is her cryptic reply. Im about to question her until I feel her lips caress my forehead.

"Come. I'll walk you to class..." If it werent for the fact that my hands had hers in a vice like grip, im more than sure she'd be keeping her distance.

*T.I.M*

Thus far, today is like any other day. Though I did notice a lack in appearances from the other Cullens. At first I figured they were just late, but when I only saw Rosalie at lunch, I knew there was more she wasnt telling me.

I take my usual seat across from Angela and right next to Rosalie. Angela is eying her strangely, no doubt from her weird behavior at lunch.

Flashback

_"So, Bella. How'd your birthday go?" Mike prods from his seat beside Jessica, who seems just as curious. As expected, Rosalie tenses at his words._

_"It was perfect." I lied, shifting closer to Rosalie, who was more than likely brooding. I expected all of this, but what I didnt expect was the loud huff right before she "excuses" herself._

End flashback

Brooding is exactly what I find her doing at the moment; shes completely ignoring me and pretending as though shes listening to the teacher.

"Talk to me, please?" I subtly lean over so the only ears in this conversation is ours.

"What do you want to talk about?" Her voice sounds so detached, so unlike hers, along with the nothingness on her face; it makes me cringe.

"I dont know." _Maybe the fact that your being so remote? Or maybe the fact that you're the only one here, out of all your siblings?_ The former will bo doubt bring another argument so I go with the later of the two.

"Where's Alice?"

"With Jasper." Not even a glance.

"Is he...okay?"

"He'll be going away for awhile..."

"Oh." I fiddle with my hands for a second. "And Alice is going too?" _Of course she is, Bella. He is her wife._

"Yes. She'll be gone for awhile a well. Probably to Denali..."

Theres so many questions I want to ask her. Did she have any visions yet? What had she and her family said as I slept, because I know something was said on the matter.

"What about Emmet? How is he?"

"Emmet is Emmet." My jaws set at this. Im doing my best not to snap at her but shes making it rather difficult.

"And Esme...Carlisle?" I sigh.

"Esme and Carlisle are...dealing. As is Edward..."

Dealing? What the hell does that even mean! Im getting irritated and so is my arm.

"Your arms bothering you," she notices, face softening as she watches me scratch at it. So she'll pay attention to my arm, but not me?

"Who gives a shit about my arm?" I mumble to myself, forcing my head against my desk.

We dont say anything for the remainder of the class.

By the end of the day, im a mental wreck. The tension and silence is becoming too much.

"You're coming over, right?" I ask as she silently walks me to my truck.

"You have work.." That never stop her before.

"Later, I mean. Like after work..?" She bites her lip as she contemplates this. Since when does she ever have to think about this?

"If you want me..."

"-I always want you to.." I cut off, more than a little irritably.

"Okay, then." She says indifferently, biting her lip as she looks off into the distance.

I ignore how unsure her voice sounds and hug her goodbye. "I love you."

For once today, she doesnt hesitate. She breathes me in as she holds me tight. "I love you too, Bella." She kisses my forehead and helps me into my car.

I hesitantly push my car out of the lot, watching her watch me through the rear-view mirror.

_"Everything's fine, Bella. She just needs time to get over this, whatever this may be. Everything's gonna be fine and dandy, you'll see.." _I keep telling myself this, trying to calm that eerie feeling in my chest.

"Last night was nothing.." I mutter to no one in particular. "Nothing happened." I shake my head in silent agreement. " Yup, nothing at all, and thats the exact reason why Alice and the others are staying away. Mmm hmm, but they'll be back in no time and all will be well..."

In denial much?

*T.I.M*

Work drags on slowly, as usual. I try to occupy my time with idle chatter with Mike, who keeps going on and on about his relations...or lack of, with Jessica. So didnt need to know any of that, but whatever.

On occasion, I text Rosalie, asking how she is, what shes doing and other things of the like. She responds in a manner that I hadnt expected. She tells me shes good, enjoying Emmet's company and thinking about me. It makes my heart flutter like it usually does and even gives me hope for better things to come.

Work ends and im more than a little eager to see Rose. I park my car in the driveway and hastily make my way to my room.

"Hey, Bells?" Dad stops me mid-step in the middle of the stairs.

"Yeah?" I turn slightly, and eye him curiously.

"Renee called. Wanted to know all about your birthday and whatnot.." Scratches at his beard before taking a sip of his beer. "Just uh, give her a call when you get a chance..."

"Will do.."

I take a breath before opening my door and I immediately frown when shes nowhere to be found. I slump and haphazardly throw my book bag on my chair and kick off my shoes.

My face flushes as I do my best not to cry and I begin the task of getting undressed and into the shower.

I turn it on cold and embrace the sensation it gives me. The water caresses me as if it was her and it does the trick of hiding my tears.

I emerge from my shower after thirty minutes, ruffling my wet hair in my towel before walking towards my dresser. My towel drops and I shiver at how cold my room seems. Turning, as I feel an usual breeze, im greeted by honey eyes. The way shes crouching tells me shes just now getting here.

"You're...here?" It was meant as a statement but came out as a question, which seems to confuse her.

"Well, yeah. I thought you wanted me to? I could leave...?" Her face scrunches up as she motions towards the window.

"-No! Its just...you werent here when I came in and I figured..."

"-I wouldnt come?" I turn my head away in shame, but even with that, I can still tell that shes smirking.

"You wanted me to though, right?" I nod my head as I see her walking toward me in my peripherals.

"Yeah. I just thought that..since you're usually here before me..." I blush at the knowing smile on her face, though it doesnt quite reach her eyes; at least her teasing hasn't changed.

"I had to go hunt." Shes in front of me now, lifting my chin so she can look me in the eyes. She stares at me for a minute, like really stares and then does something I didnt want; she frowns.

"You've been crying..." My eyes widen at her realization and I scramble to avoid her knowing gaze. "What happened?" I shake my head and preoccupy myself with finding pajamas.

"Im..im not...its nothing.." I say, pulling a shirt over my head, but of course it gets stuck. I feel her in front me, pulling it down and I purposely avoid her gaze. "If you say so, Bella.." I cringe and she wordlessly shifts onto my bed.

"Thought we could watch a movie?" She points to the case in her hand, _The Fountain_. "Alice told me it was your favorite awhile ago. Havent seen it, so I figured why not?"

"Um, okay.." I settle myself on the bed as she puts in the movie. Before I can even lay down, shes back, shifting me over so she can lay down with me and instinctively brings me close. I smile myself and snuggle closer to her frame.

She makes comments here and there about the movie, but for the most part we're quiet. I like it though, the quietness; Its different from the usual quietness we've had.

But soon, the movie ends and that _other_ quietness is back.

I reach for my camera on the bedside table and take a quick flash, catching her off guard.

"What are doing?"

Flash

"Creating memories," I smile, peeking over the object before twisting it in my hand. "Mothers orders, ya know?" I climb over so that im straddling her waist. "Cant disappoint, now can we?" Its a sensuous, hushed tone, but from the way her dark eyes flicker, I know she heard it.

Flash

"Memories at twelve in the morning?" She raises a fine brow; a smirk making its way to her lips.

Flash

I shrug with my own little smirk. "Dont ya know that those are the best kind?" She leans forward, hands gliding up my sides with that smirk ever present, and gently grabs the camera out of my hands.

"Dont think mommy would find it so endearing..." She silently challenges me and I accept... with my lips.

Ive craved this for far too long; the affection, passion, everything. So im gonna take advantage of this, of whatever she gives.

She allows me to push her back against the pillow, lips still eagerly seeking hers as I link our hands together.

The kiss is frenzied yet gentle, _always_ gentle, but I need more.

"Make love to me.." I breathe against her, watching the way her eyes seem to darken. She'll deny me, im almost positive, but I'll persist until I get what I want.

"No." No? Like I said, she'll deny me, but I'll persist.

I kiss her again this time, not caring if it gentle or not and let my hands glide against her skin. She hesitates but soon follows suit.

I caress her in places I know she cant resist; her neck, her breasts, her stomach, and finally between her legs. She moans at each caress and arches forward, forcing her her breast into my face; I suck at them through her shirt, gaining another moan.

"Make love to me," I persist again, touching her so very slowly, making her head lull back.

"Bella," Its a cross between a groan and a whine. I begin rubbing against her leg in need of some friction of my own, and she hisses. Shes fisting my sheets so hard, I hear them tearing under the force.

"Please, Rose...?" Im shamefully desperate right now, but I can care less, I need it...I need her.

"Bella, stop.." Another groan, but I continue my torture.

"Bella, _STOP!" _She commands, stilling my hands with her own and looks up at me with both fierce and pleading eyes.

"Why?" I breathe out, confusion, shame and disappointment marring my face. "Why dont you want me?"

"Its not that, Bella. Its just..."

"Its just what?" I sniffle; that frown line is back, along with the deep thin line of her lips.

"Its late, Bella...and you have school in the morning..."

"School?" I scoff, cause really, school is the last thing on my mind.

"Yes, school. You need to get some rest..."

"Im not tired." I rush forward, crushing her lips with my own. She allows this until the need of air becomes insistent.

"Bella," she begins warningly, shaking her head as she does. "Not tonight..."

"Then when, Rose?" I huff, defiantly crosses my arms. " Half the day you ignore me, and now you dont even want to _touch_ me?"

Her chest heaves for a minute before she relaxes. I watch her face soften from its hard glare as she leans up on her elbows. "I just want we have to last." I look at her strangely; what we have to last? What does she mean?

"I came over here, hoping for a nice, quiet night with you. And it started that way, so why cant we just make it last and let it end that way?" Theres something else there, behind her words but i choose to overlook it. "I dont want to fight. I just want to hold you, is that so bad?" Her arms snake around me.

A strange gleam is apparent in her eyes; it almost looks as if she may cry.

"Alright," I sigh and fist my hands through her hair before pecking her on the lips. They tremble slightly.

She twist slightly, shifting us onto our sides and buries her head into my chest. "I love you, Bella.."

Its distant again, a whimper and it confuses me; I dont understand what's happening, but i wont question her, I'll just hold her tighter.

"I Love you too, rosalie."

*T.M.I*

I awaken to cold, empty bed. My guess is that she disappeared during the night. With a languid stretch I set off towards my morning routine. Wash up, get dressed and out the door for school; just like any other day.

Only its not like any other day, cause if it was, Rosalie's car would be parked next to mine and she'd be walking me to class, instead of me walking alone.

_"Is it too sunny out for her?"_ I shake my head, dismissing the thought as I look out the window of my math class. Not a beam of light in sight.

Sighing to myself, I decide to text her for the tens time today, and still I get nothing. Anxiety is weighing heavy on my heart.

_"What if something happened to her? No, no, relax, Bella. Shes a vampire, indestructible remember?"_

I rack my hands through my hair nervously, and wreck my brain for an explanation, any explanation.

This goes on for the remainder of school. Go to class, text, call, no answer, and wreck my brain for answers that will not come.

Im not the only one that has taken notice to her absence though. No, Jessica made that quite clear at lunch.

Said, quote, "first her siblings, and now she disappears too? Like, what up with that? She never misses school unless its sunny out. Always, like, here, under you like a puppy..."The last part was mumbled as an afterthought and she thought I didnt catch but I did. Who wouldnt when you're being obnoxiously loud?

Whatever.

School ends and I drive home in an eerie silence. I manage to compose both myself and my thoughts by the time my driveway comes into view.

With a tired huff, I climb out of the truck and drag myself to the door. Only I dont quite make it there. I stop midway, left leg literally off the ground and stare at the figure awaiting near the brush.

"Hey, I tried texting and calling but you never replied..." My first instinct is to throw myself at her, but the look she gives me, or rather isnt giving me tells me to reframe. She doesnt look at me when I attentively reach for her. "Hey, what's wrong..?"

Nothing.

"Come. Take a walk with me..." She finally says, not even waiting for my reply. That foreboding feeling is back and I want to deny her; something tells me i should, But I cant...I wont.

I follow behind cautiously as she disappears into the nearby woods. "This is wrong," my mind keeps telling me. "Turn back!"

I dont know how long we've been walking but it seems like forever; she stops suddenly.

She turns to me, eyes purposely un-meeting and I frown.

"We're leaving.." She finally says after a minute of silence. Slowly but surely the anxiety comes back; I can hear my heart beating through my ears.

"W-why?"

"We're not aging, Bella. Carlisle' passing off as thirsty-three, but doesnt even look a day over twenty-six...people are starting to suspect..."

Shes lying, maybe not about all of it, but she is. She cant even look me in the eye.

"Okay, I just have to figure out something to tell Charlie...Renee." Denial is setting in, along with severe hyperventilation.

She looks at me then; coldly, unblinking, with the look of just nothingness, and its then that I fully realize...

"When you say...we.." I swallow, unable to finish the thought.

"I mean the rest of my family...and myself..."

Something squelches within me, within my chest, slowly ripping me in two as I stare at her, shell-shocked.

"Look, what happened with jasper...that..that what nothing.." Im pleading, begging her with my eyes to understand.

"It was nothing. Nothing but what I always expected. I promise I wont ever put you through something like that again..." She replies nonchalantly, as if it were indeed nothing.

"Please, dont do this.."

Nothing, she gives me nothing but a cold mask, eyes still looking past me instead of at me.

"You, promised...you said you wouldn't leave me. You said I was your world." Im shaking, holding myself and shaking.

I shake my head, willing the tears away, but they wont.

"You lied...when we made love, you lied. You said...you said I was your forever, Rose!"

"Im just not good for you, Bella...you're not good for me..."

"Im not...good enough.." I shake my head, admitting to what she wont say. I stare at her through my tears, still noting the void less expression on her face as she looks at everything but me. Why wont she look at me. Why cant she look at me and tell me the truth?

It frustrates me, turns my hurt into anger that I can no longer contain.

"Look at me!" I scream, taking notice to the way my command make her flinch slightly.

"You're lying," I accuse." You want to leave me, and for what...cause of my soul! You can have it, I dont care...its nothing without you!"

"Its not about you're soul, Bella. Its about doing what's right.."

Doing what's right? Clearly she doesnt know what right is.

"Stay," I beg. "Staying here, with me is what's right.."

"No, Bella.."

"Im coming!" I bellow out, taking a small step towards her; her eyes turn icy then, so cold and distant as she shakes her head.

"Bella, " her nostrils flare a bit. " I dont want you to come." Every word is spoken slowly, precisely, coldly.

I feel nauseous, confused; in a matter of hours, how did it go from her telling me she loved me to this?

"You... dont...want me?"

"No. You dont belong in my world, Bella. And I dont want you in it..." The words sound foreign to me; oddly, strange in the sense that they have spilled from her mouth. She doesnt want me.

"That...that changes things.."

"We're not good for each other, Bella." I faintly hear her repeat; I try to focus, but again, the only thing I can hear is my heartbeat. "Im tired of trying to be something im not, human..." Her lips purse and she regards me with a shake of her head. "Im just sorry I let it go on for so long.."

"Dont," I try again, desperately. "Dont do this to me, to us.."

"Its for your own good. You deserve a normal life, a chance at happiness..."

"You are my life...my happiness...I'll die without you!" My hands clutch at my chest; the slow rip is beginning to bleed out.

"No you wont." Shes near me now, in front me, showing me the slightest bit of affection by caressing my face. "You'll live. You'll get married, have kids...and be so very happy.."

Her mask slips completely for a moment as she says this, and part of me wonders if this is indeed what she envisioned or if their all lies; either way, I dont want them.

"I'd like to ask for one thing, Bella. And after that..I'll disappear. It'll be like...I never existed.

Never existed? How can she think, let alone say such a thing?

"Dont do anything reckless." I glare at the disgruntled look on her face. She thinks she can throw it all away and then make requests? "For Charlie's sake..." Is her afterthought.

My body trembles as I swat the hand on my face.

"No! You dont get to do that. You dont get to leave _and_ make requests! I wont promise you...ever!

She embraces me then, ignores my protests and hold me tight.

"I'll always care for you, Bella." I clutch her, as tightly as I can and sob. " And you're hurting, but you'll get over it...you'll get over me..forget. And you'll be happy..."

She pulls back, wipes away a tear and gently forces my grip apart.

"Please..."

"Goodbye, Bella.." Her lips briefly touch my forehead, but before I can fully register the feeling, their gone.

She's gone.

"Rose."

She's gone.

"Rose."

"She's gone.

"Rose!"

**A/N: So there you have it. Rose left, it was a must im afraid. Gotta leave so others can come in *shrug* Reviews please:)**


	29. Game Over, We Lose

**A/N: Alright, lol, seems like alot of you are upset with the outcome. Idk why since I said this story would be following the original pretty closely...with the exception of a few twist and turns. Will she come back? Idk you'll just have to wait and see:D The next chapter that i post will probably be a redo of chapter 7 and onward. Smh i really need to get a beta...any takers? Really need some help on these stories cuz my brain hurts! So if anybody has interest in being my beta, PLEASE let me know ASAP!**

**Oh and Sham was very delighted by the warm acceptance. She probably wont have her own account but says she may look into my other account and write something. But again im not for sure, she kinda wishy washy *shrug*. **

** Game Over, **_**We**_** Lose**

Its too late. Im too late. For a second, just for one second Jasper loses it and everything comes crashing back to reality. To any human, to Bella it seems like time is moving forward, faster; but to me, its all in slow motion.

Why couldnt I see it coming? Why couldnt Alice? Why now, when its actually happening, do I see myself taking action?

"No!" My body tenses at what's to come and on instinct, I push back, against Bella; I ignore the small cry behind me and focus on the raging tyrant at hand. But unbeknownst to me, my actions have proven to make things worst.

Its not until Edward fully grasps and somewhat gains control of Jasper, that I notice the strong scent in the air; theres a slight burn in my throat as I peer behind me, taking in the disoriented girl a few feet away.

I ignore it, along with the retreating forms of my family and look onward towards the mess I created.

"Rose, go make sure your brothers okay. He's most likely hurting and he'll need you for support.." Disappointed, I hesitate and wordlessly do as im told.

*T.I.M*

Theres a feeling in the pit of my stomach, an ache of sorts, something I havent felt for years, and I briefly wonder if this is what Edward felt like while he was gone.

"Multiply it by a thousand and its about right..." I dont turn towards the said man, I just stand here, staring out into the woods...at nothing.

I came out here with my family right after our little incident; I did my best to make sure everyone was okay. But Jasper, he didnt want to see me. He didnt want to see the hate or judgment he thought I had towards him.

He's wrong for assuming such things, cause the only person I hate is myself.

I ignore Edward as well as the others, who are close by. They're scattered a couple miles away, watching and waiting.

I keep replaying it in my mind; dissecting it, trying to figure out what I could of done to prevent it.

"You're not god, Rosalie." My face twitches slightly at this. " Even with your gifts, you couldnt have changed it...it was bound to happen some day..."

Was it? If not today, would these events have occurred sometime down the road?

"Yes, you and I both know it to be true.."

"Leave me alone, Edward." I mumble solemnly, listlessly staring out at the grassy void. "Stay out of head."

"We cant," even though I cant see him, im more than sure he's tugging at his hair. "You cant protect her all the time. Not unless.."

"Dont." Its said slowly, coldly; in a manner that makes my jaw clench. "Dont even go there..."

"Dont go where, Rose? To the truth? To the inevitable reality of it all?" He says it so calmly, so nonchalantly, that I feel the way makes my skin crawl.

Slowly but surely he's testing me, pushing my buttons and im not so sure im able to keep myself in check at the moment.

"Everybody, including myself walks around in denial about this, about her, Rose. She's human, fragile, someone who doesnt belong here... with us..."

"Is this why you came back? To tell me how wrong this is, how wrong I am for loving her? The same girl you love and fell for?" I snarl, finally turning to give him my full attention. Theres a slight change in his posture now, probably due to the pure blackness reflecting in my eyes.

"No, Rose. I came here in hopes of being proven wrong. To see if something good could indeed come out from all of this." He sighs. " Do you know what happens when you're all alone for hours, days, weeks, months? You think nonstop..about everything. And thats what I did. I left to cope, and in turn, I was left with only my thoughts.."

Just what does he hope to accomplish by telling me this?

"You know exactly where Im going with, Rose..."

My features swell into an unmistakable glare and I feel my chest heave. I know where he's going alright, but I refuse to entertain the thought.

"Refuse to entertain the thought? You already have. The thought crossed your mind way before I even said anything.."

"No," I growl, tensing and shaking my head vigorously. "Im not leaving. We're not leaving...I wont allow it!"

"Its either that, or change her. And you and I both know thats not gonna happen.." He threatens, tensing slightly. My fist clench in return as a rumble makes its way into my chest.

"Why is that always you're first reaction, running!" I lose it then; in a blur im colliding with him head on. We're barreling through trees, leaving a trail of destruction in our wake. The force creations a loud smack.

Our momentum slows to a halt near an opening. My senses tell me we're near a stream.

He doesnt fight it, not even as my hands take purchase around his neck. He just stares up at me with sad, pleading eyes. Theres something else there, in his eyes, pain; for a moment it kind of seems as if he may cry.

I scoff.

"Its not about running, Rose.." His hands move to my own, slightly tugging. "Its about doing what's right.." From my peripherals I make out the silhouettes of Emmet and Esme.

"Rose, Sweetie.." I wince at the soft tone of my mother. My eyes close momentarily as I let it wash over me. _" Venez dans mes bras, Lilly.."_ I feel it then, Jaspers gift starts to kick in; I hum at both the feeling of her hand on my shoulder, coaxing me, and the love radiating off her.

My body relaxes a bit, and so does my grasp on Edwards neck. I slump slightly, a broken sob threatening to spill from my mouth before I fully let him go.

Why? Why does he want to take away the only joy in my life? I feel him in my head but he doesnt respond.

I stand on shaky legs. Mother embraces me right away and I dont fight her; I dont fight the love she wants to give.

_"How many more times, Rose? How many more times will she have to suffer because of us?"_

I stop immediately, my retreating form tensing at his thoughts, and take one last look at him. He's still on the ground, on his back, head slightly turned as he regards me with sad eyes.

Part of me knows he's right. How many more times will our presence put her danger?

I break down then, sobbing, clutching at the pain in my chest, but its Emmet who catches me this time He picks me up, bridal style and we begin the track home.

*T.I.M*

Ignoring both the conversation taking place in Carlisle's study and Bella's subtle protest of leaving early, I tell her I'll be waiting in the truck.

Which is where you'll find us at the moment. In the truck, with me driving and brooding in silence. From the corner of my eye I see her fiddling with her hand and occasionally peering at me through her hair.

"Its not your fault, Rose." Is her quiet reply. My brows crease downward and my hands flex against the steering wheel.

Shes wrong and so very blind to things right in front of her.

_"How many more times, Rose? How many more times will she have to suffer because of us?"_

"It is my fault, Bella. All of it. If I would of listened to what you wanted to do in the first place and not even have the party...this wouldnt have happened.." I shake my head as it starts to replay in my head, willing it to go away. "I couldnt even see it coming...just like with James.." I mumble the last part, but I can tell by the way she looking at me that she heard.

"You cant see everything at every moment, Rose. Its impossible, even for you.." She sighs. I feel her emotions shift a bit before she slightly turns in her seat to regard me with a determined look.

"You cant protect me all the time.." This sounds familiar, like it was said to me before, not even an hour ago. Thats because it was. "The only way I'll ever be safe is if you change me..." My jaw clenches tightly and I immediately slam on the breaks. How can she possibly even think about that right now?

"Dont." I hiss through my teeth, hands grasping the wheel so tightly I think it may bend. "You're not ever being changed. Not by me, not by Edward, not by anyone. Im done with this conversation, now lets go.." Im already up and out the truck by this point, with her staring at me confusedly. I open her side of the door and she cautiously steps out.

"Why are you being this way? Acting so...distant?" It she serious right now? Why am I acting this way? I instantly glare.

"Me? Bella, clearly you dont understand the altitude of what just happened back there. Because if you did, you'd be a bit more understanding on the matter." I tug at my hair irritably. "I mean god, you could of died back there and the first thing out your mouth is that...death!" She flinches at this, causing me to wince and I backpedal. I take a few breaths to calm myself.

"I love you, Bella...more than you know. And if he would of.." I look away for a moment, unable to think let alone say such an atrocity. "I just wish you'd understand..."

Its quiet for a moment, and the only thing I can make out is the sound of her steady heartbeat.

"Im sorry," she whispers, gently reaching for my hand. I look at her and the guilt evident in her eyes. "I love you, too. And I dont want to fight..."

Theres something swirling in her eyes, something I cant quite place.

"Its still my birthday...and I havent gotten my wish yet.." She states confidently, still staring me straight in the eye. I already have an idea of what she going to say and I wont fully deny her, but deny her I will.

She slightly catches me off guard with her actions; she steps forward until her lips are on mine. Its slow and holds all the emotion I wish I could say. I kiss her back passionately as if its our last. She pulls back with a heavy pant, much heavier than my own and stares at me.

Shes aroused; I can smell and practically taste it in the air.

"Make love to me tonight." My eyes flicker for a moment. As much as I want to be with her tonight, kissing her, touching her, holding her, I just cant.

"Not tonight, Bella." My chest heaves and I draw her closer, tighter as I lean my head against hers. "My family and I have some things to handle.."

Things I dont even want to think about but I know its inevitable.

She makes a face at this.

"Just how bad are things gonna be after this?" She looking at me with so much hope, hope I cant give her at the moment cause I really dont know.

"Theres nothing to worry about, Bella. Jasper will probably need some time to cope...he's very upset with himself right now..."

"And thats all you see, or saw rather?" I shake my head.

"I havent seen anything, sweetie. But I know its gonna be fine. Theres nothing to worry about, okay?" Its not entirely a lie, cause as I've said, I dont really know what will happen but I still feel bad for saying it.

"Okay. But...can you just stay with me for a bit? Just until I fall asleep? I dont want to be alone..."

Alone...

I hesitate at the word; that strange ache tugging in my chest, and then nod my head.

"Alright. You go get washed up and I'll be back soon...gotta go hunt." I kiss her forehead and pull back to leave but she holds onto me. "You're coming back, right?" Its more like shes pleading than asking. I feel her squeeze my hand and I squeeze back for reassurance.

"Of course, babe." She relaxes a bit. " I wont be long. Now go ahead...hop to it!" Any and all hesitance is gone after a gentle swat at her behind; she happily complies and im once again left to my thoughts.

I sit here for awhile, in the woods with the bitter taste of deer blood on my lips. Im not alone though. No, I have my dreary thoughts to keep me company. I honestly cant fathom how Edward did it. Alone for months with his thoughts as his only companion.

My mind keeps replaying his words over and over again. He's right. He knows it and I know it, but I wont accept it..I cant. Cause accepting it means I lose. I lose the one thing that holds purpose in my life.

*T.I.M*

Those thoughts plagued my mind; it was over an hour ago and at least thirty minutes after I left Bella.

I agreed to this little request from her in hope of just having a nice ending to a horrible evening.

Thats what I intended on anyway, but what I didnt intend on is the argument that took place.

I hadnt meant to lose my cool, but she just kept pushing it..pushing me. Shes not entirely to blame though. No, she is after all just a curious, determined and stubborn girl. She didnt believe me when I I told her the truth. When I told her I hadnt seen and thing and I lost control.

Slowly but surely I was hurting her, whether it was intended or not. We argued and I left...just like Edward. Just like he wanted and probably intended for us all.

_"Im such a hypocrite.."_

*T.I.M*

At home is where you'll find me now. In my room, in the dark with inevitable weighing on my mind. We're leaving.

**Flashback:Twenty minutes ago**

I walk to the front door, and even before I open it, I know the truth. I dont need to hear the humming of my families thoughts, that are so loud they can be heard a mile away, I can feel it. Im hit with the truth full force as I open the door.

The look they give me as the living room comes into view says it all. They've already chosen their path. Edward said his peace about it, without me, and they all agreed. They always agree with him. Take his side. I chuckle at the bittersweet realization and take notice to the several bags occupy the area.

Alice and Jasper are already packed and ready to depart.

"Its done then? You've already made up your minds about it... That you're abandoning her?"

The air shift a bit, no doubt from my overwhelming anger and I watch as they all wince.

"Its so easy for guys, isnt it? Right, Alice?" She looks up at me through sad, shameful eyes and I just scoff, barring my teeth. "What are friends for, huh? Best friends at that..." Dont get me wrong, I already know that they're leaving, but not for good, not like how Edward wants.

"Rosalie, please..." My father steps in. My glare turn onto him menacingly. How could he?

"Please what, Carlisle? Huh? How could you! How could you agree with this...with him!" I accuse, pointing my finger at Edward.

"Rose, please try to understand. This is what's best for everyone. We all knew the consequences of our actions. We knew the risks and yet we focused on the present, the now. When really, we should of thought about future and what could of been." He pauses and focuses his eyes on my own; hes trying to reflect his words onto me with his eyes but I'll deny them. "We've put Bella through too much already. How much more will we allow her to take? This world isnt for her, not unless you plan on making it so...and you've made your thoughts quite clear on the matter..."

"We have to do what's right...what's best for her, Rose." My mother adds, cautiously taking a step towards me; I hiss.

"She belongs with me. Thats what's right.."

"She doesnt, Rose. She shouldnt be in our world. She deserves at chance at happiness...at life. A life we cant give her.." I look at Edward in disgust. How could he, a man that claims he loves her say such a thing? How can he possibly Condon the thought of leaving her yet again?

"I dont understand it, Edward. I dont understand you! You're forever claiming your love for her. But thus far, your actions tell me differently. How could you ever have loved her.."

"I love her, Rosalie!" He roars, his features disgruntled and hard. "I love her," he repeats, voice and features softening as he begins to do something I dont expect; he begins crying. "I love her more than you can understand.."

And he does. No matter how much I want to ignore it, I cant. Its practically hit me in the face in waves.

"Im not leaving. You guys can do what you want but I refuse. I promised her..."

"You also promised to keep her safe.." Alice quips, catching me off guard. "She could be happy, Rose...safe."

"Happy? You and I both know thats a lie. It'll devastate her..." It'll devastate me. She knows of Bella's reaction the first time I even brought up the idea of Bella going back to Jacksonville, so why would she think this would be any different?

She smiles sadly, shaking her head as she does so.

"You're wrong, Rose. I've seen it. Sure she'll hurt in the beginning, but she'll cope. She endure it and be so happy in the end..."

She then proceeds to force the vision on me. I twitch, trying to avoid it buts its futile.

Shes tossing, screaming in her sleep from the nightmare. Nightmares we created for her suffering. For months shes completely numb, dead to the world.

But it gets better in time. Shes with someone, someone I cant see. And for the first time in awhile she smiles.

Im suddenly bombarded by random clips. Clips her her smiling, laughing, and even blushing. My chest tightens and I shake my head, willing the images to disappear.

She was...happy. Happy without me. Happy, alive and safe.

Though I should be relieved by the vision, even somewhat happy about it; Im not. The thought of ending it, of losing her is too much. sobs wrecks through my body at the premonition. She could be happy, but the question is, could I?

"She deserves a chance, Rose..."

**End flashback**

"She could be happy. Without me, she could be happy." I try to shake away these thoughts but they just keep coming back. They make it sound so easy, like leaving is like..like breathing.

My ears twitch at a familiars sound.

Theres heavy footsteps in the hallway, a subtle knock at the door and then the sound of my door creaking open. I dont look up from my place in the corner; im on the floor, head hung low with my arms outstretched on my knees. The figure doesnt move right away, he stands there, taking in the mess I created out of anger.

He spots me in my lonely corner. I can tell by the small sigh he emits. Emmet, my brother, my safe haven; a job that used to be mothers, but not now. I wouldnt be able to stand looking at her.

I look up at him as he gracefully maneuvers through the darkness; eyes fluorescent in the night. He looks like I feel, sad, tired, and wishing I could sleep this nightmare away.

"Oh, Rosy." He moves to pick me up, and I let him. He feels safe. He holds me close to his chest, takes purchase on my bed and softly begin to rock back and forth.

"I didnt agree with this, ya know?" His hands rub at my back and he lets me sob.

I know he didnt and would never agree to this, but Edward is Carlisle's first "born". His pride and joy. He's what you would call second in command, aside from Esme. He's been with Carlisle for over a hundred years, so of course he would take his plea into consideration.

"Alice and Jasper left already. They wanted to say goodbye but.." He trails off at this before continuing. "Im not sure when Edward and the others will leave." They'll leave tomorrow. Its already written in my head.

"When will you leave, Rosy?"

I could stay for awhile. A week maybe, but they wouldnt allow it. They'd practically drag me out of forks after the second day. Im lucky if I even get another night.

Never, is what I want to say. But I dont, I dont say anything.

"I'll stay with you. I'll stay til the end..if you need me too?" He holds me tighter, and gently brushes his lips against my forehead.

*T.I.M*

I watch lazily as the students gradually begin to pull into the parking lot. My eyes flicker to the side of me, where Emmet's jeep usually is; it wont be foreshadowing my car today.

He begged to let me allow him to come today, to allow him to stay but I denied him. He left, or rather I told him to go with Esme sometime during the night. As much as I wanted him to stay, I couldnt, I've got too much on my mind and I need to focus on the situation at hand.

A familiar sound catches my attention; the sound of Bella's engine clanking into the parking lot. She parks a few feet away from me, and I get the urge to help her out her truck, but I dont.

"Hi," she whispers, looking at me as I do my best to look elsewhere. My mask is back ; the mask _they_ forced me to put up.

"Hello." Is my cold reply. I sense the frown and the subtle change in her heartbeat. My eyes finally flicker to her thinly covered arm; I can smell how irritated its become. I gently grasp it, willing her to stop scratching before she reopens the wound. She relaxes from the gesture. "Its bothering you."

She lies, and I frown down at her. _"You're not god, Rose.."_ My mind wonders back to Edwards words, making me frown further. "Im sorry..." It catches me off guard; I tense for a moment, and as I look at her, I see the hurt, guilt and sadness welling up in her eyes.

My hand falls to my sides. _"Shes apologizing?"_

"Sorry for what? You didnt..."

"-For everything. For being a klutz, for ruining the party and...and last night. What happened before you left..." It comes out rushed, and anything but incoherent. She unconsciously lurches forward a bit, no doubt from the disgruntled look on my face.

"Bella, you might as well just apologize for breathing.." I say with a shake of my head and a light smile. "None of this is your fault. Nobody could of seen that coming except..." Except for me. I swallow that bitter realization with a sigh. "As far as the arguing goes? It was a bit intense and im sorry if I frightened...or hurt you.."

Though that hasn't really happened yet. The hurt, the suffering I'll cause her.

She fully leans forward, a bit unexpectantly, and rest her body into mine. My body tenses for a moment before instinct kicks in; my arms wrap around her midsection. She mumbles something into my chest, asking if im upset with her, and I internally scoff.

How could I be upset with her? If only she really knew...

"No, not with you.." It confuses her no doubt, but I quickly usher us along before she can question it.

School drags on in an usually manner, with her asking me questions. Most were about the family, but thus far her favorite is why am I acting so weird. And I am. Im acting very cold, distant, and my attitude is off putting, but its a must. Its so much easier this way.

Finally, it comes to a close and we silently walk towards her truck. She asks if I'll come over, and even though I know exactly what she means, I point out the fact that she has work. She makes an unreadable face and "corrects" herself.

Part of me wants to say no, wants to stay far away until the end, but the other part yearns for this. It, no, I need to be near her.

I hesitantly agree with her proposition. I kiss her forehead soundly, whispering an "I love you," and watch as she departs.

The rest of the evening is spent as far away from the house as possible, apart from my short stop I make to pick up a few things. The last thing I want and need is Edwards and Carlisle's thoughts bombarding my own. She texts me every now and then, asking what im doing and of course I lie. Not fully but I do. Emmet's not here with me and he wont be coming back.

Dusk settles and soon its time for me to make my way to the Swan' residence. I take my time in getting there, constantly thinking about the inevitable. Ive already got it in my mind that im going to make this evening good. I refuse to fight with her.

I come through her window just as she comes in from her shower. She regards me with a sad yet shocked expression. "You're...here.." Im not too sure if it meant as a question or statement, but it confuses me since I thought she wanted me to come over. Or rather I hoped. " Well yeah. I thought you wanted me to. I could leave...?" I motion towards the window. She quickly sputters a no and we exchange a few teasing words, but something catches my eye.

"You've been crying.." Her eyes bulge and I already know she'll deny it. "What happened?"

"Im...im not...its nothing.." She purposely avoids my eyes at this blatant lie, and busy's herself with finding and putting on pajamas. Of course she makes this simple task harder than it suppose to be. I help her by pulling the shirt further down and staring at her unmeeting gaze. I could push it further, but really, who am I to do such a thing? Ive been avoiding her inquiries all day long. So again, I wont push it, I'll just situate myself on her bed and hope that she'll agree to a nice quiet movie night.

She agrees and we settle ourselves comfortably on her bed, with her curled into my side, leg slung over my waist as my arms wrap around her.

I cant help but see the irony in the movie. A man seeking immortality for both himself and his lover. Something I know Bella wants, which is probably why she loves the movie.

A smile graces my lips as she sniffles at the ending. She so...well, Bella.

And then silence feels the air. Not so much bad silence but more of an uncomfortable silence I suppose.

Theres a quick flash that briefly catches me off guard.

"What are you doing?"

Flash.

"Creating memories," she says simply, flashing me a smile before peeking over the camera. "Mothers orders, ya know?" I feel her shift over until shes straddling my lap. "Cant disappoint, now can we?" My eyes darken at her promising tone.

Flash

"Memories at twelve in the morning?" I decide to play along with her little game, smirking and raising a fine brow.

She regards me with her own little smirk and subtle jerk of her shoulders. "Dont you know that those are the best kind?" My lip twitches further as I lean in to grasp the offending item.

She lets me have it, along with a kiss. It starts off frenzied, yet precise and gentle; it then turns into something else. Something I shouldnt entertain, but I cant really find the will to say no. Her lips are starved, that much is apparent from the way shes taking control, pushing me against the pillow and seeking more of me.

"Make love to me.." I feel the words being said against my lips before I actually hear them. I suppose she gets her desired reaction from me; her eyes seem to glint at the darkness reflecting back at her.

"No." I say simply, wanting to deny her but, im not so sure my body agrees with my mind.

She kisses me again, a bit to roughly, not for me but for her. Her hands come into play and im finding it harder and harder to resist.

Each breath I take I can smell her, taste her in the air and its clouding my judgment. Her breath and hands are hot against my skin, and I groan at the feeling it invokes.

"Make love to me.." Her ministrations are slow now, torturously slow; I cant help but moan at the feeling of her grinding on my leg.

"Please, Rose..?"

"Bella, stop.." My voice says anything but that and she too notices which is why shes persistent again.

_"You have to stop this, Rose."_ My body twitches in response to my thoughts and I immediately grasp her wondering hands.

My tone and actions makes her flinch and I inwardly cringe at the frown forming on her face.

"Why?" Theres confusion and hurt laced with her words. "Why dont you want me?"

"Its not that, Bella. Its just.."

"-Its just what?" She sniffles a bit, eying me both sadly and expectantly.

What do I say to her? I want tell her the reason why. Why touching her, kissing her, making love to her would be so painful for both of us in the long run, but I cant. Because if I do, I wouldnt be able to do what needs to be done. Id stay, id forsake my covens wishes and more than likely implicate them in the process.

Who cares, right? Wrong, because as much as I hate them for this, for taking away my happiness, I could never hurt them like that. I could never hurt them the way they're hurting me.

"Its late, Bella...and you have school in the morning.." Its not the brightest reply, that much is certain from the way shes eying me, not to mention her scoff.

"School?"

"Yes, school. You need to get some rest.."

"Im not tired." She reaches for me again, but this time I dont fight it. I let her have her way until her lungs practically collapse and she pulls away panting.

"Bella," I make sure my tone is clear. "Not tonight.."

"Then when, Rose?" Things are steering in the wrong direction. "Half the day you ignore me, and now you dont even want to touch me?"

I can feel something swelling inside me, anger; not at her, but at myself. Sighing to myself I soften the glare on my face and lean up so that we're eye level.

"I came over here, hoping for a nice, quiet night with you. And it started that way, so why cant we just make it last and let it end that way?" I want to tell her so much, so many things but I cant find the words. "I Dont want to fight. I just want to hold you, is that so bad?"

"Alright," she says with a sigh, eyeing me, studying my reaction. I dont close my eyes as she kisses me, but I tremble.

I twist slightly to the side, bringing her with me and bury my face within her chest. I breath her in a few times, memorizing her smell, her heart beat. I keep it, this moment, and lock it away into my unforgettable mind for later reference.

"I love you, Bella." I mumble against her, hoping she fully understands and knows that I mean it.

"I love you too, Rose."

And we stay like that all night, with me holding her, listening and watching her as she sleeps. But soon dawn arrives and im forced to depart...to think.

Always thinking.

*T.I.M*

"Rosalie, its almost time to depart.."

Nothing. I give Carlisle nothing but silence, stillness.

"Do you really hate me so, that you wont even look at me?" I feel him next to me, by the window, watching for any reaction.

Still nothing.

"Please undertstand. Its not easy trying to do what's right and hurting the ones you love in the process..."

I dont want to hear him. I dont want to see him. He's been rattling my brain all day, trying to get me to "understand" is logic. The only thing I get and understand is the fact that he can stop all this. He has the power to change all that has and will come and yet he wont.

It sickens me.

"Very well. Edward and I will be in the car...its almost time." He's gone in a flash, leaving me to deal on my own again.

Slowly I descend the stairs. Taking in my surroundings, how fairly empty it is with the exception of furniture, furniture _she _once sat on. I give a deep sigh and close the door behind me.

We drive a few miles down the road, and stop until we're adjacent to where Bella's house is located.

We're still a few miles away of course, with the woods blocking our path, but none of that is a problem for our kind. For me its only about a five minutes run.

"And just how do you expect me to actually go through with something I dont even want to do?" I say out of nowhere. "What exactly am I suppose to say to her?"

"You'll know when the time comes. I'll help you through it, if necessary." Again, Edward makes it sound so easy, as if it were nothing to him; it makes me want to vomit. But instead I turn my head away in disgust and stare out the window, unblinking.

Deciding its better to be away from my current lot, I get out the car and begin to walk through the woods at a steady pace. I've got about twenty minutes to spare so theres no need to rush. No, no need to rush to the end at all.

That familiar clank of the engine comes round down the street, and im sure if i had a heart, it'll be beating like a drum right now.

She doesnt see me right away and I take the time to really look at her. To see the how utterly tired, confused and sad she must be, no doubt from my lack of communication. She's text and called me several times today, but I never replied.

Its for the best, isnt it? Thats what they keep telling me, but is it?

Im brought out of my thoughts when she approaches and I hear how her heart picks up; shes happy to see me. She always so happy to see me.

"Hey, I tried texting and calling but you never replied.." She notices something then, notices something is off; my face. My mask gives it away and her hearts speeds up again, but for another reason. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Shes nervous.

"Come. Take a walk with me.." I dont wait for her to reply, but I know she'll follow.

_"Its for the best. Im doing this for her sake. Im doing this because I love her..."_ I continue to tell myself this as we walk through the brush, thinking of what I'll say.

I can feel and even hear Carlisle and Edwards thoughts in the distance. Edward keeps telling me not to be subtle, that I need to make her understand and see that im serious...to break her.

To break me.

Maybe he should do it then, maybe he should break her heart.

"We're leaving.." I finally say after abruptly stopping in a clearing. Im hit wit so many emotions at once; its overwhelming but I do my best to ignore it, to ignore her.

"W-why?

Because my family wants me to abandon you.

"We're not aging, Bella. Carlisle' passing off as thirty-three, but doesnt even look a day over twenty-six...people are starting to suspect..."

Its the lamest excuse I've ever conjured up, and im sure shes aware of the fact but its the only thing that comes to mind.

_"Its not enough, Rosalie. Lie better, make her believe it."_

Shut up, Edward.

"Okay, I just have to figure out something to tell Charlie...Renee." I look at her, eyes unblinking and cast down at her. Realization hits her then and I watch as she visibly gulps.

"When you say...we..."

"I mean the rest of my family... and myself." Shes breathing heavily now, hyperventilating really, and im hit the most intense wave of anxiety.

"Look, what happened with Jasper...that..that was nothing.." She fidgets and I see her legs shake slightly; im not sure if she wants to step towards me, away from me or let her legs buckle.

"It was nothing," Edward tells me; the words leave my mouth before I even register them myself. "Nothing but what I always expected. I promise I wont ever put you through something like that again.."

I feel like a robot, or puppet for that matter, with Edward pulling my strings.

I hate it. I hate him.

"Please, dont do this.." Shes pleading, with her words, her eyes, her body and I cant look at her. I cant let her see the lies that are forcing us apart.

"You, promise...you said you wouldnt leave me. You said I was your world."

I did say that, and she is my world. A world that I can no longer have.

"You lied...when we made love, you lied. You said...you said I was your forever, Rose!"

"Im just not good for you, Bella...you're not good for me..." I continue numbly; my mind has honestly shut down. I cant feel anything but nothingness.

"Im not...good enough.." She wrongly accuses, holding and shaking her body. Something wells inside of me just then as a tear glides down her beautiful face; I want to take it all back, hold her and tell her how much I love and need her.

_"Give her chance, Rose. Make it right..."_

I look at past her at his remark. Make it right? How can I make it right, if everything im doing thus far...is wrong?

"Look at me!" She bellows unexpectantly, bringing me out of my thoughts; my features twitch slightly.

"You're lying," her head shakes. "You want to leave me, and for what...cause of my soul! You can have it, I dont care...its nothing without you!"

I dont want her soul. I just want her...

"Its not about you're soul, Bella. Its about doing whats right.."

"Stay," she literally begs, stepping forward with sad pleading eyes. "Staying here, with me is whats right..."

_"Edward..." _I plead. I can't do it. I cant hurt her like this...

_"No, Rose..." _I close my eyes at his refusal, willing myself to finish it.

"No, Bella.." I already know she wont let me deny her, the defiance is evident on her face.

"Im coming!"

_"Edward, please..? Dont make me..."_

_"-Do it, Rosalie..."_

"Bella," Edwards thoughts are bombarding me now, chanting, telling me to do it. "I dont want you to come.."

I dont know what drowning feels like, but I can only imagine it feels like this..like IM struggling for air...unneeded air.

Her breath hitches at my words. She looks stunned, paralyzed even.

"You..dont...want me?"

I do.

_"Break her, Rosalie..."_

"No. You dont belong in my world, Bella. And I dont want you in it..."

Slow, shallow breaths. Thats what she regards me with.

"That...that changes things..."

"We're not good for each other, Bella." I repeat, though its more like im trying to convince myself at the moment. "Im tired of trying to be something im not, human..." He's prodding at my head again.

_"Im just sorry I let this go on for so long.."_

"Im just sorry I let this go on for so long..." I repeat.

"Dont," she says as I zone out a bit. "Dont do this to me, to us..."

"Its for your own good. You deserve a normal life, a chance at happiness..."

"You are my life..my happiness...Ill die without you!"

Part of me knows this is likely. That theres a chance she would never be better...

"_But theres still a chance that she will. You saw how happy she could be, Rose.."_

Yes, she could be. Theres a fifty-fifty chance that she could be happy...without me.

"No you wont." I say, stepping closer to her and letting both her scent and images of her happiness wash over me; she could be so happy. "You'll live. You'll get married, have kids...and be so very happy.."

And she would. If she could let go and allow herself too, she'd eventually forget and have a life...a family of her own.

My mask slips at this revelation.

"Id like to ask for one thing, Bella. And after that...I'll disappear. It'll be like...I never existed..."

I watch her eyes flicker for a moment.

"Dont do anything reckless." And this will be the most important thing I could ever ask of her. I already know she wont take this well, that she'll be broken for awhile, and the last thing I want for her to do is put herself at risk.

Then all this would be pointless..

_"Right, Edward...?"_ I hiss, but for once he's quiet. Coward.

Which pegs my original question as to why everyone thinks this is whats best? The scariest part is that im truly starting to believe it is.

"For Charlie's sake.." I lie, flinching as she shoves my hand away.

"No! You dont get to do that. You dont get to leave and make request! I wont promise you...ever!" My thoughts and feelings are starting to sway.

This is wrong.

"I'll always care for you, Bella." I embrace her, though she fights me, fights this, I embrace her...and I never want to let go.

So wrong.

"And you're hurting, but you'll get over it...you'll get over me...forget. And you'll be happy.."

But I wont.

She sobs at this, even as I wipe at her face, and then I feel it. I feel myself pulling back.

"Please.."

"Goodbye, Bella.."

I feel myself reaching for her, reaching for a brief carress, but then its gone. I feel myself letting go until...im gone.

"Rose."

_"Ignore it, Rosalie..."_

"Rose." She says again, so clear even from this distance.

_"Let go, Rose...ignore her call..let go..."_

I will myself to listen to him, Edward. The lyer, the coward, the saboteur...everything I hate and will ever hate for doing this to me...to us.

"Its done," I say coldly, situating myself in the backseat...away from Edward. "Get on with it..."

I ignore the conflicted look on Carlisle's face and stare blindly out the window.

**A/N: Alright so ive been thinking, logically speaking, Rosalie could of stayed, just like Edward could have in the original. She could of said fuck it and stayed while everyone else left.**

**I never really understood that honestly. Edward leaves because he thinks he doing something good, because he wants to protect her or some self-rightious bullshit like that, but in reality, he literally almost could of killed her...I mean did he seriously ever really stop and think about Victoria?**

**Dumbass.**

**Anywho, like i said, if we were going by logics..she could stayed, but she didnt. Why, because I fucking said so! Lol, its a must and we aint getting into logics because it'll just give me a headache. So sit down, take it, accept it and review...or die. Lmao, nah, but review please:)**


	30. Sleep Walking

**A/N: Sorry for the long delay, Ive been marinating in my own darkness, but im back now.**

**Wowwwww lol, thats some serious hardcore hate towards Eddy you guys got going on, I see. Though I do agree with everyone's points, being, the fact that he needs to be castrated, possibly molested by Joan Rivers wearing his detached, sorry excuse of a dick as her strap, and set on fire. After which, his ashes should be tossed in a lake of shit and set on fire again!**

**Deep sigh.**

**Whew, forgot what I was getting at. What I was saying is that im not too sure what ill do with Edward. This story isnt really planned out, I just write whatever pops into my head. So, as much as id like to kill Edward right now, I may or may not need him later on. I dont know yet, so for now, we'll just all agree that he's hitler incarnate and should totally die...painfully.**

**Anywho, lol..**

**Love Be Afraid or punk ass Sham to be exact: Thanks for being an ass and reviewing, I especially love how you just roasted my fic like that. Smh, I aint abandoned my Rosalie...I just wanted to try my hand at an Alice fic, jeez, forgive me for not getting on my knees and licking your asshole!**

**Eww, thats nasty.**

**And yeah, so what if I aint finish the fic. Maybe I will maybe I wont! You already know how impulsive I am. Something pops up, I begin writing and then I just lose focus or interest. So yeah, thanks for reminding me of my one review asshole:P**

**And do what you want with the fic, Id love to continue but I've already got plenty on my plate. Not to mention your story that your forcing me to write, when your obviously capable of doing it yourself. Wtf type of shit is that? I cant think of everything you dick, so pull your own damn weight slacker!**

**And so tellin my mom you called me a pussy too! Smh, you know how I feel about that word *blush***

**Die slowly, I luv you? Really lmao, smh how do you even end a rant with I luv you after saying die slowly?**

**Smh, see fanfiction? See what I gotta go through? This bitch really just said die slowly and I luv u..smdh.**

**Get off my swagg, lick ass and hump a dead Rhino!**

**Lmao and I luv you too Sham.**

**Punk ass, hook ass, bitch ass mothafucka!**

**I really gotta work on my potty mouth.**

**Anywhomy man Andy Lewis: Yall mothafuckas should get like him! Lol, he has the right idea when it comes to reviewing. Dont know what im talkin about? Read his profile.**

**Jay aka Jordan: Yo man lol, everytime I read your review I lmao! "Have Rose kill dat hoe.." Lol, ima start saying that shit. "Kill dat hoe!" Kind of like "Kill dat noise." But its "Kill dat hoe!" lmfao+smh.**

**Bullshit:Whoever the fuck you are, yeah I agree that its bullshit, having Rose say Cockwards lines...I totally agree. But I also agree that its the same bullshit that nobody forced yo ass to read. So get the fuck off my thang-a-lang and bag back. Dont like it, dont fuckin read. Plain and simple.**

**Quick shout out to my Beta's queenred(who is having issues with her computer so I said to hell with it, since im not at all patient, lol. No worries though, I'll just put up the chapters she revised, including this one, later on) and Kgmc08(Sent you some of the chapters but I dont know if you got em. I know you've been busy with school, so I havent been bugging you about it, but hit me up whenever).**

**Now, on to business. Read, review, masturbate, send naked pics to my email...whatever get me-I mean you off, lol.**

**Sleep walking**

Nightmares, thats all she left in her wake.

Every breath I take feels so hollow, so empty and numb.

She Promised me forever, so why, why did she leave?

She took everything in her departure; photos, clothing, even her mothers necklace. She thought she could erase what we had, what I know to be true, but she was wrong.

The scar on my arm is proof of that.

"Like you never existed.." I mumble numbly, tracing the small dent in my wall only a week ago.

"_Im being honest with you, Bella. Im being honest when I say that I dont know what's gonna happen...and it scares me that I dont..."_

You lied.

**October**

Dear Alice,

How's...things in L.A? I bet its bright, sunny...a huge contrast to Forks. To your old life. The life you left behind so easily.

I wonder.

Did you know? Did you know the end to the story before she made it so? I dont understand it. I dont understand why, why you dont love me...why _she_ never loved me.

**November**

Dear Alice,

She said it would be like she never existed...like you all never existed, but shes wrong. Shes wrong in assuming I would just pick up the pieces like it was nothing. Like I was going to be able to look past the void in my heart and live happily ever after.

So wrong.

Charlie wants me to see someone. Says he worried, that my behavior isnt "normal." I dont know what normal is anymore. All I know is...emptiness.

**December**

Dear Alice,

The holidays came and went...just like..like you did. Like _she_ did. Renee and Charlie blame her. I wanted to tell them that...that it wasnt her fault. That maybe if I werent so plain, so ordinary, so...human, maybe she would of stayed. I wanted to, I really did, but I didnt. I said nothing because it is her fault. She left...you left. And now I have nothing.

Charlie sent me to a shrink finally, Renee's order I guess. Jean is his name, says he always like to be formal with his patients.

_Patients_.

Thats what I am, that what I've become; a patient. A clinically depressed patient.

Says its a way of breaking down barriers, getting to know each other on a friendly level. I dont want to be his friend. I dont want to talk to him. His a lair. He just wants to pick and prod at my mind, wants to "fix" me. Make me better.

I wish I could be happy, better. I wish I wanted to live, but depression, he says, its a disease; says its like a cancer. It festers, begins to eat away at you. Turns you into this, an empty shell.

She said she left so I could live. So I could be safe, happy and live a long life. But I wonder, can you see my future now? Can you see the cancer, the depression you all left behind, slowly eating at me?

Theres no future here for me. No happiness, no reason, just nightmares...emptiness.

**January**

Dear Alice,

I took Jeans advice today and went by your house. Said it may give me closure, give me a reason to heal.

Maybe.

I dont think it was such a good idea though.

It looked dark, barren, neglected; if only Esme could of seen it.

I went in.

Guess you guys forgot to lock the door?

Its felt odd, being in a home I had grew to call my own, it felt odd. I sat on the couch for awhile, just breathing, taking it all in; you left quite a bit of furniture here.

So much for _not existing._

Memories came back, slowly eating away at me, making the hurt in my chest that much worst.

I took in the entirety of the house. The barren kitchen, the lonely den where the piano still sits; I ran my hands over them, collecting dust.

I wish I could hear Edward play.

I couldnt get into Carlisle's room or his study for that matter. Must of remembered to lock that. Though for what reason im not sure.

I tried your room too. It was open, along with a window that was long forgotten. There were leaves on the floor, debris, but the scent I had hope was still there, embedded in the room, on the bed, was long gone. Forgotten in the wind and rain.

I stopped by Edwards room, along with Emmet's; theirs was much like yours, fairly empty aside from their beds. Eds music rack was cleaned off, not a cd in sight. No book on the shelf, no clothes in the dresser, but I did find something. A folded paper, long forgotten, slightly hidden in the corner, behind the dresser. It was sticking out from a small crack in the wall.

Bella's lullaby, is what it read.

_"_like you never existed. Liars.."

I kept it safe, tucked into my pocket, just before my retreat. My eyes flashed to my far right, where _her_ door lay, closed, soft light beaming through the crack in the door. I contemplate visiting, being further reminded of her absence, of her abandonment, but I couldnt. Thats far too much to bare.

I'll visit often. Make this place a haven of sorts. An empty haven. A reminder, that I am nothing.

A simple human among gods.

*T.I.M.*

"Enough!" Lazily my eyes flicker from my hidden treasure, towards Charlie's clinched fist. We're at the kitchen table, with me zoning out, scanning the smudged notes, and with him trying to enjoy his coffee and newspaper.

I say trying because he's been staring at me for the past twenty minutes. Its always like this though; each morning I mindlessly stare off, occasionally eating my cereal, and he watches.

"Bells, I cant do this anymore." I say nothing as he shakes his head. "I've been trying to be patient, understanding but, I just cant anymore. I've tried taking you to a shrink, but still nothing."

Silence.

"I heard about what happen yesterday too." My face twitches at this. I was hoping _she_ wouldnt have said anything, but I guess I was wrong.

**Flashback**.

Dusk has finally settled on this lazy, slow evening. Its been dreadfully unappealing so far, mainly because I have to deal with Mikes endless banter and attempts to make small talk.

Doesnt matter, Ill continue with my day like I always do; tuning him out, and somewhat keeping myself busy with stock.

"Im going on break..." I say, finally getting fed up with his babbling. I dont even wait for his reply, I eagerly make my way towards the exit.

Destination? My truck. Its become somewhat of a home away from home. I've spent all my break times in my truck.

And what do I do in my truck? Aside from stare blankly at the Edwards music sheet, absolutely nothing.

Only thing between me and my truck now is a crosswalk. Waiting patiently for the light to change, I decide to get a heads start on my task. I reach into my pocket, unfold the sheet and stare. Stare as if it was my first time seeing it.

Im immediately bombarded by so many thoughts.

_"I love you, Bella."_

Stop.

_"Everything is and will be as it should..."_

Shut up.

_"You dont belong in my world.."_

Please..

_"And I dont want you in it"_

Dont!

Without warning, my feet come down from my sidewalk. Not really paying attention or seeing if its red or not, I run.

Its green.

Im doing fair at ducking and dodging cars, until suddenly I just stop.

I dont know why I stop, but I do, and its right in the middle of the street. I just stand here, staring at the other side.

I thought I saw something. Something familiar or rather _someone_, staring back at me but im being foolish.

The sound of a large horn breaks me out of my trance. Theres a large semi coming straight at me, and though I know I should move, I cant. I dont want to.

Im tired, just so very tired of everything.

So I ignore the sound of my erratic heart beating through my ears, and embrace whatever comes.

I turn to face my condemner, and just as Im about to close my eyes, I feel the wind being knocked out of me.

It feels so familiar. Like I've been here before.

It almost feels as though _shes_ the one embracing me, but its not. This persons skin burns, not at all like the cold I yearn for.

"Are you fucking insane, Swan!" Blinking a few times, I come face to face with brown, confused and annoyed eyes.

Leah.

Shes leaning over my slumped body, carefully cradling my head.

Where'd she come from?

"What the fuck are doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed!"

I dont say anything, just stare blankly at her, unaware of the tears freely flowing. Until she makes a face that is.

"What the fuck, Swan!"

"I just wanted to..." Im not sure how to finish this sentence, cause I dont know what I wanted to do.

And im not sure what I want to do more; throw myself at her, sobbing and carrying on, or just run?

I go for the later.

"You're insane!" Is all I hear her scream as I push away, scramble to my feet, get in my truck and drive away.

**End flashback**

_Insane_.

Yeah, thats me apparently.

Im more than sure that I lost my job after that too. Never came back from my break, just drove and drove til I finally ended up at my safe haven.

The Cullen home.

I didnt come home until eleven, and of course Charlie was skeptical since I usually get home from work around ten. He didnt push it though, at least not til now apparently.

"What were you thinking, walking into the street like that? You could of been killed!"

I avert my eyes at his unusual tone. I've never heard him so upset before.

"I thought...I saw something..."

"Saw something?" His tone is a bit incredulous and somewhat annoyed. "See, this is exactly what Im talking about. If your 'seeing' things then obviously nothings helped so far. Not the shrink, not me, not time...maybe," he pauses and runs a hand through his hair. "Maybe Renee will have a better effect on you.."

My eyes immediately bulge. He wants to send me away?

"Im not going." Is my only reply. My declaration is hollow, voidless of any human emotion, which is why he'll continue to challenge me.

"Theres nothing left, Bella. I have nothing left to give. Maybe some time with your mother may help.."

"Its the middle of the semester." I challenge

"You'll miss what? A couple weeks at the most? You're smart, and im fairly sure you'll make it up..."

"It'll be a burden on mom and Phil.." We both know its lie, the look he's giving me tells me so. Moms been dying to see me, not to mention talk.

I havent called her since... Since they left.

"Im not going." I say again, shaking my head moving to stand. "I cant leave. I need...I need to stay here, in Forks..." Im at the sink now, pouring my soggy, untouched cereal into the sink.

"They're gone, Bells."

My back straightens and I feel that familiar tightening in my chest.

"They're not coming back.."

I close my eyes, willing the tears away, for my eyes not to betray me.

"I know."

"Bella, I just want you to be happy. It kills me. Seeing you like this, it kills me, Bells. I dont know what else to do. You hardly eat, you dont sleep and when you do, you have nightmares."

Please stop. Please dont remind me.

"And your friends, what about them? I've never even seen you pick up the phone to call Angela or..or the other girl.."

Jessica.

"Jessica?"

"Yeah, thats her. The loud mouth girl...she's a lively character...probably do you some good, if you ever called her."

Lie.

"I...I have." I meet his skeptical glance head on, giving him nothing but a poker face. "We um...we're actually hanging out tonight. Movies, ya know...a little girl time?"

I mentally make a face at that. Girl time?

He stares at me for a moment, trying to gauge my reaction, my face, but still I give him nothing but a lie.

*T.I.M.*

"Thanks for uh...coming out on such short notice..." I tell Jess, exiting the movie theatre. It was...interesting to say the least. Not the movie, but her company. And by interesting I mean awkward.

I hadnt spoke a word to any of my friends for months, except Newton and that was either to inform him of a break when I was working, or to grumble some half-hearted reply about school just to shut him up.

This was beyond awkward really, id go with brutal. The zombie movie we... or rather she picked was so mediocre and cheesy that she busied herself with her cellphone, or went on about some guy or other girly talk; I instead, stared blankly at the screen.

Never again.

"Sure."

Silence. Awkward silence.

"So um," I rattled my brain for some source of subject. Anything to keep her talking. I quickly found out that a talking Jess, is a busy, happy Jess; one that will be far to enthralled in her own conversation to ask me about _them_. Which she already inquired about, but I thankfully steered the conversation in a more subtle direction. Her direction. "What's new with you and Mike?"

We're walking down the street from the theatre, more than likely heading towards the nearby diner a few blocks away for a quick meal.

"Dont know," she shrug."You talk and see him more than I do. He does work with you after all..." She gives me a side long glance.

Awkward.

"We didnt really uh...really talk much at work. Far too busy with customers and whatnot..."

"Right." Shes not convinced but whatever. "Well I have been texting Tyler and Eric on occasion..."

Thats the sparks I've been looking for.

"Oh, really?" I feign interest. "So who are you more into?"

As expected she gushes about the said boys, talking animatedly about their comparisons and how they differ.

I nod my head and grumble a reply at the right time, as she continues to swoon. We're about a block away from the diner when a gruff voice draws my attention.

"Hey!" On cue, both of our gaze turns towards the unfamiliar voice; across the street from the diner is a small bar of sorts. Even from here, you make out the hard metal rock and noisy banter from within its hold. "Hey," the stranger calls again, nodding his head and gesturing for us to come over. "Come on, you guys wanna party!" He yells when he notices our lack of interest. "Ill show you a good time," he promises and for a second I get this eerie feeling. Its almost as if I been here before, like this situation is dejá vu.

"Bella, what are doing?" I had moved to get a better look at these strange, 'familiar' men, but im caught at the wrist. I look down at her hand grasping me and then at the wary look on her face.

"I...I just want to see something. I think...I know them..."

I insist, taking my arm back; she eyes me strangely before somewhat following. Im about halfway across the street when a familiar presence allures me.

"Bella, lets go. They're creeps...we need to get outta here..now." Just as she says this, that familiar presence I thought I saw before comes rushing back.

_"Listen to her, Bella. Turn back...now.."_ I gasp at the shrill feeling it invokes. Its only a brief flash of _her_ presence, and as soon as I stop and contemplate her plea, she begins to vanish again.

No.

"Bella, please!"

I ignore Jess's warnings and come to a stop right in front of the men.

"So, you wanna have good time or what?"

_Shes_ here again, watching, pleading me with her phantom eyes and for a second I think may just cry.

Not so much from her presence, from her reminder, but because Im truly starting to believe I am insane.

_"Bella, Please?"_

Please? Isnt that the same thing I said to her? Isnt that exactly what I begged of her?

"Bella, this is insane!" Jessica hisses.

"Just..go ahead to the diner. I'll be there in a minute..." I wave Jess off once again and move to straddle my new friends bike, but her voice, her voice is coaxing me to stop.

I should stop. I should avoid this whole situation like they're urging me to, but then I'll be back where I started. With nothing but a lonely broken heart. I need to hold on to this, to her, even if its just for a moment.

_"Enough of this, Bella! You promised. You said nothing reckless..."_

I promised? Shes sadly mistaken.

"No," I say, finally climbing onto the death machine. "I didnt. _You_ promised it would be like you never existed. You lied..."

We take off suddenly, the engine silencing whatever pleas my beautiful nightmare may of had, and I clutch on to the pulsing beat of my heart.

Its erratic; each swerve of his bike makes it peak and in turn creates such of vivid visual of her.

Her voice is quiet in my head but the that wary, pleading look on her face, just ahead, is enchanting.

Its thrilling yet so sad. So sad because im...hurting her.

"Wait, stop, stop, stop!" With a grunt he glides to a halt, breaking whatever visual trance I may of had. Shes gone now, vanished into thin air, and the loneliness sets in.

"You want to explain to me what the hell that was back there?" Jessica's voice is irate, laced with worry and hurt as we walk to my truck.

"I thought," I shake my head just as the dull ache of extreme highs and anxiousness begins to reside; I already miss it, miss her. "I thought I knew them."

"Oh, I see. You knew them." Is her sarcastic reply. "I know them too. They're a bunch of loser pedophiles, that could of raped, and murdered you..."

I flinch at the thought and immediately loathe myself for wondering if she would come back, if she would rescue me if that were the case.

Its disgusting.

"I swear you are completely screwed in the head." Its not said in any anger, its said in a tone that i can only describe as pity. "Really dont know who you are anymore, Isabella Swan."

Neither do I Jess, neither do I.


	31. New Beginnings

A/N: Alright, so I call myself trying to upload re-edited chapters and it aint working so well. Pretty sure you got the alerts so pay them no mind. lets see, chapter 14 got deleted so ima have to redo that over, just incase you got confused. The next few alerst will be the newest chapters so please do forgive my crazibess.

New Beginnings

Dear Alice

Its been about a week and a half since the incident. Jessica has made no attempt at calling me or saying anything to me for that matter, not like she had before but still.

She avoided me at school all together, giving me strange looks and turning her head whenever she sees me. She thinks im crazy no doubt and I dont blame her. I think Im pretty damn insane myself.

Life outside of school is increasingly dull now. Ive lost my job, the only thing truly keeping me somewhat human, sane, preoccupied.

What do you do when you have nothing to do?

Search for something. Or in my case, search for _her_. Search for that thrill. I hadnt seen _her_ since then either, and believe me, Ive been looking. Looking for any means of excitement, recklessness, as _she_ put it. If being reckless insures that I get to hold on to _her_, then so be it.

Still..

"You promised, nothing reckless." Is what _she_ said to me. Reckless in Forks? I cant help but snort at the thought, cause really, aside from my little stunt at the bar, what else could I possibly get into in this small, dull town?

I mean sure, I could try my hand at suicide again, but I've already made up my mind that I wont be attempting that anymore. I couldnt possibly do that to Charlie and Renee, they've done way too much for me to completely throw it all away.

Relieved right?

You should be.

So what is there? What can I do to keep her with me?

"Crap." I mumble to myself, taking notice to the blinking red light on my laptop; hadnt realized Id been writing so long.

I close it, not really having much else choice in the matter since there is no power in the Cullen home.

Yes, im at my safe haven. I've been here for the past two hours, huddled in the den, next to the fire place where the flames are becoming dim.

I didnt know where else to go. I didnt feel like staying in the house and since I know longer have work, theres not much else for me to do on a saturday morning.

I came here in hopes of seeing _her_, seeing if _her_ presence may flicker like the spark in this fire. But I got nothing.

I even went into _her_ room. And god, it still smelt like _her_. After all this time, _her_ scent still lingers there, like its permanently embedded. It even felt like _her_; cold, barren, desolated.

It was much like the others, completely bare with the exception of her bedding and other furniture. The sheets, blanket, all was intact and neatly spread over her bed.

_Our_ bed, as _she_ once said.

I laid there for I dont know how long, blinking and clutching at the bedding. I expected myself to cry, to sob over how close I felt with _her_ at that moment. But I didnt. Instead I let my anger out. I took my anger out on her room; threw about her mattress, the tv that still occupied a space on her wall and even broke her vanity.

I thought about her lies and threw one of her drawers right in the middle of the mirror, shattering it.

It felt good, but didnt change anything. Shes still gone and im still lost in my own darkness.

The gentle vibration of my phone brings me out of reverie; Jacobs name flashes across the screen and I cant help but feel a bit shocked.

I havent talk to him in months. Not since that early morning on my birthday.

I cringe at the thought and push back the unsavory images of the said day.

He'd call of course, several times over the months, when I was still so far deep in my depression. Deeper than I am now. But I never answered.

I contemplate answering it now, but what could I possibly say?

Unconsciously my finger pushes the green button before I can fully gather what I just did.

"Bella..?" Immediately I suck in my breath at the sound of his voice. Its wary and somewhat desperate; I dont say anything, im too afraid.

What if he's upset with me?

"Bella..?"

What if he-

"-Bella, please...talk to me..?"

Slow, shallow breaths.

I close my eyes and swallow before opening my mouth, attempting to say something.

"Jacob..."

"Oh thank god," he breathes, sighing and more than likely shaking his head. "I've been trying to get a hold of you forever. I've been worried..."

"I...I know. I just," I just what? I shake my head at this, not knowing what to say. "I dont know..."

Its quiet for a moment.

"Im sorry.." He randomly whispers, catching me off guard.

He's sorry?

"Sorry..?" Is the only thing I manage cause im truly baffled.

"Im sorry," he repeats. "I couldnt protect you. Couldnt...keep it away. The hurt..."

"Jacob..."

Stop.

"-I know what they did. I know how they just...abandoned you..hurt you.."

Please.

"I wanted...I want to protect you, Bella. I want you to know that im here for you. Whenever you need me im here. Im always here. You're my bestfriend, slim..."

I choke then, a broken sob threatening to spill from my lips.

Its not so much from his words, from him speaking the truth on them and what they did, but because he's right. He's always been there, waiting for me in the background.

Besides Charlie and Renee, I know he's the only sure thing in my life right now. The only person who could possibly help me forget.

The question is, do I want to?

"I just wanted to check on you. To see how you were..." He says after silence becomes too much. "And I thought maybe we could..hang out..?"

"You...you want to?" I say, finally finding my voice. Im still kind of shocked even after everything he's said.

I dont deserve this. Him.

"Yeah, of course," he says in a slight confused tone. "I always want to be-hang with you."

"Um...okay. I'll stop by later on..if you dont have plans?"

"Uh, yeah! No, I dont have anything planned.." Theres a peak in his voice, and I can practically see the hope in his eyes.

"Hows about...in a few hours. Lets say...four?"

"Y-yeah. Sounds great. Cant wait to see you...catch up on some things..."

I smile. For the first time in I dont know when, I actually smile.

*T.I.M*

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's all the hustle and bustle about...?" I sprint past Charlie, making a bee- line for my room and into the closet.

I work the numbers on my safe deposit box and grin when its pops open. I've never been one for banks and accounts, Id rather have my money with me, safely tucked away in the back of my closet.

When I was working, I was making about nine-fifty an hour. We got payed bi-weekly and I always worked five or six days out of the week. I had been working there since the end of May, so I've saved up quite a bit of cash.

I reach into the box, counting out about twelve hundred and tuck it safely into my back pocket.

I bet you're wondering what I need twelve hundred bucks for? Well, as I was driving, on my way to see Jacob, I spotted two motor bikes haphazardly laying on the grass with a for sale sign right next to them.

It didnt really say for how much, but im kind of in the "bargaining" mood.

"Hey, slow down there. What's the rush?"

_"Quick, think of something! Anything, just dont tell him about the bikes!"_

"I uh...im going to see Jake..." His brows immediately shoot up at this prospect.

"Really?" He seems genuinely shocked by this and I cant blame him.

"Y-yeah. Im suppose to be down there at four, I just forgot to get something..."

"Well, thats good, Bells. Im glad your making an effort." My face makes a subtle twitch at his words. "He'll do you some good..."

I nod my head enthusiastically, coaxing him to continue on his way. He does.

"Well, wait." He pauses just as im about to descend the stairs. "Where uh...where have you been this whole time then?"

Great. I gotta force another lie.

He knows I no longer work. Word travels fast around Forks. Funny thing is, its only been a day or two since I got fired.

I cant tell him where I've really been, he'd send me away for sure, so I have to lie.

"I um...I stopped by the library. We're doing a project in history and I needed to do some research..."

He debates this for a moment, pursing his lips and scratching at his chin. "Oh,okay.

And just like that, he turns, headed straight for the bathroom.

It would seem as though I've gotten pretty good at my lies, im almost as good as _her_.

*T.I.M*

My truck comes to a roaring stop right outside the blacks house. I don't get out right away, I need a moment to calm my nerves.

"Bella!" I slightly jump from his raspy voice; I hear him before I actually see him.

He's at the window in a matter of minutes, bending slightly in order to look through the drivers window.

If it were possible, it would seem as if he's gotten even bigger. He grins down at me, his smile creating a somewhat warm feeling in that massive hole of a heart.

Before I know it, the doors being slung open and im being enveloped in his massive arms.

"Cant breathe, Jake." He grunts an apology and carefully places me on my feet.

"Still frail as ever I see..." I can tell by the awkward smile on his face that he doesnt approve of my slight drop in weight.

Depression, jean said, takes quite a toll on your physical health.

I smile nonetheless, and it doesnt quite reach my eyes, but its enough.

"You're cockier than ever I see."

"Eh," he starts with a shrug. "Blame the genes."

"Question," I say, walking towards the back of the truck. "Just how good are you're mechanic skills.."

I get a rise out of his eyebrow at this, just before he grins and folds his arms around his chest.

"Top notch. Why?"

I nod, more to myself, before pulling back the blue rain protector, revealing my most resent purchase.

"I brought a present..."

"Oh, scrap metal! Why you shouldnt have!" His voice is dripping with sarcasm as he feigns enthusiasm.

"I passed em by on my way here. Caught a deal on em too. Five hundred bucks..."

"Yeah, I bet. Looks like garbage...and my guess is that they dont even work..?"

"Yeahhhh. But I figured we could work on em together. Ya know...be our little project of sorts..?"

"Righhhhtttt." He says skeptically, raising an eyebrow with a small grin. "And by we, you actually mean me, right? Since Id be the one doing all the free labor."

"Well, no. I mean yeah, you'd be the one using your hands but, Id be the one paying for all the parts. Soooo, I think that kinda equals out..."

"Yeah, uh huh." I find myself smiling with him as he shakes his head.

He looks at the bikes again and seems to ponder something, any and all signs of playfulness is gone.

"Tell me, what's the point in all this? I mean, since when are you into motor bikes?"

"-Since now." I watch his features become hard, serious; he no doubt thinks of me as insane. Like everyone else does.

My mind wonders towards Leah at this, and briefly I wonder if she told him about my little stunt.

Thats the last thing I need.

"Do you even know how to ride one of these?"

"No...but..it cant be that hard to learn, right?"

He breathes heavy through his nose and shakes his head again.

Yeah, he thinks im insane.

"Look, I know...I know all this seems completely random and just...crazy..."

"-Yeah, and reckless."

"And it probably is," I continue, ignoring his remark. "I just...I dont know. I thought it'd be fun. I know how you like building and taking things apart, so I just thought this would be a good start to a new beginning..."

That hard, serious look is back, and im almost sure that he'll deny me, but then a sly grin creeps up on his face.

"To new beginnings." His right arm outstretches, offering his hand to make it official.

"S-seriously?" I hesitantly reach for his hand just as his shoulders shrug nonchalantly.

"Eh, why not? I havent gotten my hands dirty in months. Not since I finished up the rabbit. Which you still have to check out for yourself..." He unfolds the trucks bed, and moves to grab hold of the heavy machinery.

"Wait, Jake. Its pretty-" Before I can even finish my thoughts, he's already reaching for the other bike as if it were nothing.

"-Heavy.." He smirks at the look of awe on my face and all I can manage to do is blink in amazement. "Dude, what happen to you? You're like beyond hulked up. Those bikes are at least like three-four hundred pounds..?"

Im truly in shock. I had to have two of the owners sons, whom I know from school, though I dont quite remember their names, just to help me get them into the truck. And here he is making it look like nothing.

"I told you," another shrug of his shoulders. "Its the genes..."

"Apparently. Well, when do you wanna start? Other than school, I've got alot of free time on my hands nowadays..."

"Oh? I thought you were still working at that Newtons place or whatever?"

Well that answers my earlier question; he has no clue about what happened.

"Nah. I needed...a little break." Its not entirely a lie because I do think im in much need of rest. Mentally and physically. "Ya know, get my head right or whatever?"

He grunts, effortlessly pushing the machine into the shed. I eagerly follow suit.

"Well, we could get started now if you want. Not much I can do but take it apart and see what's happening." He flicks what I would assume would be the motor switch on one, but nothing happens. "One things for sure, I'll definitely have to take apart the engine..."

"And im guessing none this will be cheap?" He snorts a little at this.

"Hardly. But, luckily for you im pretty sure I can get most of the parts from the junk yard a whiles out..."

"Thank god," I sigh in relieve, gaining a smirk and a questionable look from Jacob.

"Like I said before, by we, you meant me. Since apparently im doing all the work, plus your side of the bargain. I mean what happened to 'I'll be paying for the parts and you'll be doing all the manual work?'" He chuckles at the innocent look on my face. "I do believe I've been suckered..."

"Eh, I mirror his earlier actions, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly. "Blame the genes..."

Though we're completely unaware of the fact, time drifts by rapidly as we put our project in action. I watch him, completely amazed at how fluid and yet gentle he is with his hands. He takes extra care and releasing each part from its hold. I do my part by engaging in idle chatter, occasionally handing him a tool as we catch up on everything and nothing.

"Hey, whats up with Sam? A whiles back, I heard there was a bit of commotion down here. Dad said something about large bon fires and how people were complaining about too much noise..."

This was mainly around the time they left. I hadnt payed too much attention to the town chatter, but now that im down here, the thought just pops into my head.

"Yeah, theres been alot of strange stuff happening lately around here. Him, Paul and a few others have been acting weird. Not to mention the strange looks he's been giving me.."

"Strange looks?"

"Yeah, its like," he pauses for a moment, fully drawing his attention away from his previous task. "Like he's waiting for something..."

Im about to further my inquires when the one voice I was hoping to go without hearing for the day, interrupts me.

"Hey, tampon! Think you could come take a look at my bike? Damn things been acting all-" She comes in, not really paying attention right away, and immediately stops when she does take notice to me leaning against the rabbit. "-Shitty"

Im seriously having a case of dejá vu. She doesnt look the least bit happy about me being here.

"Whats all this here?" She questions, eyeing the the detached frame and parts to the motor bike. Her hard eyes catch my own and I instantly look away.

"Uh, nothing. Just a little project...strictly recreational..."

"Right." Is all she says. "Well are you almost done with that 'recreational' thing? Id like to get out of here as soon as possible.." The last bit was practically a hiss, and im more than sure it was aimed at me.

Im not turning my head to find out though.

"Cant it wait? Im kind of busy..."

"Yeah, and im kind of trying to go to work."

"Just take the rabbit." He insists irritably, giving her a pointed look. One that says "not right now."

"Im not taking that piece of crap! Im desperate but not that desperate. I do have standards ya know..?"

Jacob lets out a noise i can only describe as a growl.

Yeahhhhhh. This is awkward.

"Jake, its fine. You can go take care of that, I actually need to be heading home. Charlie hasn't eaten yet, im sure.."

"Oh.." He says, obviously quite disappointed.

"Wasnt aware that you needed her approval, but whatever..."

Ignoring her sneer I give Jake a brief hug before making my way out the shed. "Later, Jake..." He nods as I pause at the door, only a few feet away from Leah.

"Much.." Is her reply. My eyes roll involuntarily but I dont say anything. "Oh, do be careful crossing the driveway. May be on coming traffic..." She whispers the last part last part; its only meant for me to hear, meant to get under my skin. And it does. Im out of there is seconds

"Jesus, Leah! Do you always have to be such a bitch?" I hear Jake say just as im exiting.

"Do you always have to be so damn whipped?"

Thats the last thing my ears catch before im in the car and swerving out the driveway

So much for a good start to my new beginning.

*T.I.M*

"Hey Bells. How was the visit down to La Push? Enjoy yourself?"

_"Yeah, if Miss pitch a hissy-fit wasnt there to ruin it."_

Of course I dont say this out loud, but it would make for an interesting conversation.

"It was...great actually. It was like I had never stopped visiting. He's the same as I remembered..."

A bit cockier, but still the same.

He grunts at my response, not really bothering to turn his attention away from the television.

"I think you were right. This was good for me...its something I really needed."

"Thats great, Bells.." He turns slightly and glances from over his shoulder. "Will it be a continuous thing?"

He's hopeful, the look on his face makes that quite clear. I know he doesnt want me to remain how I was, how I've been for so long, screaming, barely living. Its taken a toll on both of us, though he wont admit it.

"Yes. I think...it will."

A/N: So Jake makes his grand re-appearance. Hopefully things will look up for Bella now, Eh?

Review or die.

*kill dat hoe*


	32. Waking Up

**A/N: Alright this chapter is more like a flashback of sorts. While Bella Pov in the last chapter was more in the "Present," Alice' is more like the past, during winter(three months prior to the last chapter). Get it?**

**Good. If not, then whatever lol.**

**Now, please, read and review...or die.**

**Waking Up**

Dear Alice..

October

Dear Alice..

November

Dear Alice..

December

"Oh, Bella..." My eyes scan through the months of unattended emails, emails she thought I never received. Each one more heartbreaking then the last.

We completely broke her, shattered whatever will she had, leaving nothing but pain and sorrow.

Though I knew all this would come to be, that she would suffer so, its much more different, more surreal now thats its actually taking place. Now that we're forced to live through it.

I hate what we've made her, what my visions keep forcing upon me. Shes suffering so dearly and Im starting to think that this, what we did, Edwards decision was wrong.

Shes not the only one suffering though. No, we've all been dreary, completely out of wack of sorts since we left. And though Rose's and Jaspers ability played a large part in how forlorn we were and still are( when we all occupied the same roof under the Denali coven) the truth is, this depression we all suffer is inevitable.

Bella was as much apart of our family as any other of my siblings. I consider(ed) her my bestfriend and sister, and the fact that I allowed myself to abandon her, so she could seek a fresh start and possibly live a long happy life, is something I dont think I'll fully understand or forgive myself for.

And neither can Rose.

I havent seen or spoken to her in nearly three months. My only means of any communication or rather knowledge thats shes still alive are my visions and brief phone conversations with Carlisle.

The last being maybe a month ago. He, Edward, Emmett, and now Esme, are still in Denali with Rose, ultimately suffering with her as she tries to endure her anguish.

Jasper and myself had endured for a good month so before it became too much. The screams at night, brought on by Bella's night terrors were proven to be too much on all of us.

She had tried her best to block out most of her visions of Bella, and it sometimes worked, but for the most part, she suffered dearly.

It was...strange really, for it was like she was no longer really living. It was like she was a dark shell of herself. For the first month or so that I was there, she was erratic. She'd scream, rampage, and beg to go back. Sometimes she'd even beg to forget. To forget about Forks, to forget about the hurt, and to forget about Bella.

Some many times Id get visions of her in the early hours. She'd haul herself up in the room, unblinkingly stare at the ceiling or drift to a lonely corner, not making a sound.

Edward said he'd try to read her thoughts a few times but all he could hear is Bella's name.

She wouldnt hunt, she didnt even have the slightest bit of interest when Carlisle purposely smeared blood, human blood, near her doors threshold. He tried force feeding her blood, but shed spit it out. It got to the point where he had to have Emmet and Edward hold her down and force a feeding tube through her nose. It worked for to a point, but after awhile she'd manage to get out of it.

Its only so much force Emmet can apply without doing harm. Carlisle said the last time they tried, Emmet applied too much force on her arms and he almost practically ripped them off as her body repeatedly thrust forward.

Though it was painful no doubt, she never screamed according to Carlisle, and it took her almost two weeks to somewhat heal from it.

Of course, it was just him and Edward by that time. All but one Denali had fled to their more accommodating estates. Like Jasper and myself, they endured the torment through late november. Esme had stayed with us here in England, on occasion when things got to be too much. For a few weeks, she'd try to get her nerves and emotions together; it truly pained her to see Rosalie suffer. When she was here, she sobbed and told me how ill Rosalie looked.

She said she truly looked like the walking dead. Her skin was so dull and dark(our skin takes on a more darker tone when we dont feed, it almost looks as if our skin is bruised). Her hair no longer had that lively gleam to it either.

She just looked like death.

And though it hurt Esme to see her like that, she returned a couple weeks later, like she silently promised and never left her side since.

I truly envy them for being so strong. But dealing with two empath's instead of one is a hard task to endure. The pain you endure is like that of drowning. Its like having your head forced underwater, with your mouth open for hours. Just dying over and over again. If it were just me, then Id gladly return, but Jasper refuses to return, to make the hurt that much worse and I dont want to leave him in this fragile state

On my last phone call from Edward, he said that Rose was more quieter now. She still sometimes screams in the night, effects of her catatonic like state, but for the most part she says nothing. Does nothing, doesnt even think. Her mind was/is completely blank.

"Jazz, I dont like this." I fold my laptop with a sigh, and lean back to snuggle into the said mans chest. "I want to go home...to Forks. I just want it to go back to the way it was. I cant do this anymore..."

I feel a wave of calmness settle within me as he tightens his grip slightly. He breathes in my hair, his resulting calmness making me close my eyes.

"I know, Alice. I want to go back too. But if we do, it could do more harm than good." Theres a slight change in the air suddendly; theres an inkling of fear tickling at my insides. "Im afraid..." He admits, noting even trying to hide the tremor in his voice. "Its my fault everything is how it is now. I couldnt control it...the hunger..."

"-Jasper..." I move to comfort him, to stare him in the eyes and let him know that its okay. He blames himself, he always has.

"I want too, I really do, Alice. But, I need time..."

The only answer I give him is a peck to the lips.

"You're vision...the one about her forgetting. About her being happy...without us. Do you really think she will? If we stay away, I mean. Do you think you're visions are correct? That she'll be happy...?"

I was pretty sure when I mentioned it to Rosalie, when I made her see it. But now that we're actually living through the hard part, the suffering, im not so sure what I believe to be true anymore.

I just want everything to be okay.

"I dont...I dont know, Jazz. Im starting to think this was all a mistake. But only time will tell..."

He hums, that feeling a calmness settling back in.

"We'll wait, okay? We'll give her some time. See what happens...and if all isnt well. We'll go back together, if you still want to."

"I'll want to..."

*T.I.M*

**Rosalie's Pov**

December.

"I'll make you feel good, Rosalie. I'll make you forget." Her sickening, familiar breath tickles my ears. "Just let go...and love me."

This is all too familiar. Her promises, her pleas, her lies. She said she could make me forget, that I wouldnt hurt, be so numb anymore if I gave in.

I did, and she lied.

I dont feel good, I dont feel happy, I dont feel anything.

I dont know how long Ive been here, in Denali, with the _conspirators_ or rather my family.

Ive been so unaware of everything around me; the time, even the people.

I havent left this room since they brought me here. So many scents have lingered and gone, but I still recognize a few.

Esme, Carlisle, and _her_ scent are a constant; the only ones I can fully register.

But _hers_ and Esme are the strongest; though I hadnt picked up Esme's scent from time to time, her scent was/is always a constant.

My lack of feeding has fully taken a toll on my mind, body and abilities.

All I hear now are whispers of the mind. I've somehow managed to force back or rebuke any and all unwanted visions.

I cant deal. I cant and dont want to see what I've done to her.

I've fought for so long, begging them to relent, to let me go back, but nothing. Each time, Edward and Carlisle kept telling me, forcing me to understand their logic.

_"Give her a chance.."_ Was all my mind kept hearing. It was like a constant chant.

At first it was torturous. Day and night their words was all I heard; on top of that, I could see and hear Bella screaming.

It went on for I dont know how long. Until it just stopped. I got so lost, so drunk off the darkness, I just broke. Everything in my mind went blank. I couldnt see anything, and I couldnt hear anything, but I did feel.

I always _feel_.

And to a point I was glad. I was glad the screaming in my head stopped. I was happy with being numb.

Was.

"Let me in Rosalie.." This women, succubus, the one I know as Tanya persists. "Let me love you..."

She doesnt love me. Shes too selfish to love. She just wants to gnaw at me, take whatever else I have left.

Or maybe she doesnt. Maybe she really does want to love me. I dont know, and I dont care.

I just dont want to be numb anymore.

Thats what she makes me feel. Every whisper, every plea she gives with her scent, her body, it makes me numb.

This is the second time shes tried to pursue her sexual needs. A shift in her scent, a promise of her lips is all it took. Emotionally I was/am a wreck..and as much as i tried to force all my abilities away, Jaspers seem to be the one that persists. The one I cant seem to get away from.

It didnt take long for her to manipulate me. When it finally happened I didnt fight it, nor did I enjoy it. It meant nothing, I felt nothing but numbness.

Cause as I've said before, she makes me numb and I wanted to be numb for so long.

But.

Not anymore.

I blink for the first time in what I assume is weeks.

Waking up.

I Inhale softly, ignoring her dealthy scent and shifting away from her sinful body. I linger at the edge of the bed, back facing this forbidden temptress.

"Im leaving..." My voice sounds so different; raspy, strained from weeks of being unused. I exhale deeply, finally letting all guards down and weight off my shoulders; immediately im bombarded with both her thoughts and feelings.

"Why?" Its but a whisper, a sad, hurtful whisper, and I flinch. Im hit with so many emotions at once, sadness, confusion, hurt, and even love.

Yes, she does truly love me.

"Im no good for you, Tanya." I decide to just get to the point. I dont want to hurt her, but I cant lead her on."Im no good for anybody. I dont want to hurt you..."

"B-But why? Why cant you just let go and love...why do you still love her and not me!"

Im trying so hard to focus on the numbness, to put back the barrier but its proving to be too difficult.

"I have no more love to give you or anybody, Tanya. I have nothing, I am nothing. Love another..."

And just like that I walk away.

Theres whispers as I descend the stairs, a feeling of anticipation scratching at my neck.

Turning to meet my families gaze, Edwards to be more specific, I let him know exactly what im thinking.

He already knows of course, and im pretty sure the others have an idea from the look on my face. The look of nothingness.

"Im leaving here..." Esme looks as if she wants to say something, to interject, but I dismiss her. "I need to be _alone_. To wake up...I need to take time to really think about what's nexts for me in this life."

_"I dont think thats such a good idea..."_ Is what I gather in Edwards head. Which is his way of saying he thinks i'll go back to Forks.

I dont even bother with glaring or rolling my eyes. What's the point?

I dont have the energy.

"Its not a request, Edward. Im telling you...everybody, that im leaving. Dont follow me, dont contact me...just leave me be."

I know the odds of them actually honoring my decision are slim. Sooner or later somebody will try to find me.

"Alright then." Carlisle says, giving me a sad smile. Several eyes look upon him, shocked, confused and somewhat scandalized by his words.

"Carlisle, you cant be serious..?"

I've come to the realization that Edward will always make a plea in any case or decision I make. And I've come to the realization that Carlisle has or will always take his reasoning's into account.

I've also come to the realization that I dont care anymore.

Even if Carlisle didnt/doesnt agree with my choice, Im still leaving.

"If she so chooses to be alone, then who are we to stop her, Edward? We've already made her suffer enough. I cant and wont allow her to do so any longer. If its time she needs, to cope, to recover or do whatever...then its hers to have."

"But.."

"-I trust her, Edward..."

He trusts me? He trusts that I wont betray him or my families wishes and return to Forks?

Trusts has meant nothing to me these past few months, weeks, days, hours, but right now, his trust in me, means the world and im truly grateful.

"Thank you, Carlisle." I keep my distance still, shying away from any and all physical contact.

Though im grateful, I still havent forgotten why im here in the first place.

"I know you said you want to your space...to be alone. But please," Esme cautiously steps towards me, wanting to reach me, to hold me, but the look I give her tells her otherwise. "Do check in every now and then. And feed, Rose. Promise me you'll feed?"

Not really knowing what to say, I turn my head away in response. I cant make a promise to something im not too sure ill uphold.

"I'll miss you terribly so, Lilly..." She sighs, but comes out more as a chocked sobbed. Shes still close, almost in reaching length, and though im not looking at her, I can still feel the want.

She wants to embrace me so badly, and to a point I want to be held by her.

"You hurt me the most," I mumble, finally relenting, finally letting her arms comfort me. "But ill miss you too, mother..."


	33. The Strong Vs The Weak

**A/N: See how nice I am? I put up a new chapter just for yall greedy mothafuckas lmao! Nah yall good, be even better if yall leave a review. Serenade me with yo thoughts. Rub me down wit yo words, talk dirty to me lol, just playin. Or am I? Who knows.**

**My trigga Jay: Thanks for the support. Ima have to check out your fic bro. You support me, I'll support you. Oh, and kill dat hoe! Lol, I said that to a customer today. He like,"Can I speak to your manager, please?" Im like," Yeah, you could, if I aint kill dat hoe!" Lmao good times man.**

**Lets see, shout outs all my readers, especially the sexy ladies. Everytime I see one of yall, I do a fist pump and say a silent prayer, blessin yo momma for having yall fine asses! Please wipe me down or vise versa lol, smh im extra silly today for no reason**.

**But** **yeah, wipe me down in yo birthday suit and then fix me breakfast.**

**Ha.**

**Anyways, read and review or die slowly, whichever.**

Dear Alice

I wish I could really talk to you. I wish i could tell you about Jake. How he makes me feel.

He makes the pain ago away. When im with him, the whole in my chest, it doesnt hurt so much. Its...almost like..its healed.

I havent been to my place in a few days, to my safe haven. I want to, but I dont want the sadness to come back. But I dont want to fully let go either.

I just want to.. try. I want to try this, whatever this is out, for mine and Charlies sake.

This is good for me. Hanging with Jake is good.

*T.I.M*

"Jakeeee, I got that part you were looking f-.." Deflated, thats how I feel right about now. Instead of walking in, hoping to see Jake, my eyes lock onto another pair of brown eyes; Leahs.

Ive been fairly good at keeping my distance from her, until now apparently. Havent really seen too much or heard of her since the last time she made her presence known, which im grateful for since she can be a bit of a bitch.

She peers up at me from her previous task, one eyebrow raised questionably as a slight smirk plays on her lips. For reasons unknown I blush and stand awkwardly by the shed.

"Not here, im guessing?" I say after her stare becomes too much.

"Nope," she emphasizes the "p," and wipes at her greasy clothes. "Said he had to get another part. You can wait if you want?"

I nod in agreement and take a seat in the far corner; she further smirks at this and continues on with dismantling an engine.

Silence.

A sneeze.

And more silence.

The silence is indeed daunting, but whats really got me bothered is that arrogant smirk thats plastered on her face.

Shes being smug about something, something she only knows and its annoying.

"Ya know, im just gonna come back later..." I hand her the small package, taking notice to the ever present smirk, and turn around towards the exit; but not before I see her head shake.

"Why are you so weak?" I stop mid-step, scrunching my face up in confusion before turning to face her.

"Excuse me?" I ask a little incredulously. Her smirk deepens at this and she lurches forward a bit; arms lazily resting against her knees as her head cocks to the side.

"I _said_, why are you so weak?" She challenges me further with a lift of her brow, and I feel my fist clench in anger.

Just who does she think she is?

"You know what, Leah? I dont have time for your little bitchy mind games..." With that said, I abruptly turn around again, intended on leaving but of course she says something else to get under my skin.

"My point proven.." I can just hear the smugness laced in her words; my jaws clench.

"And what point is that, Leah? Hmm?" Im full on glaring, which doesnt seem to bother her in the slightest. She shrugs and chuckles a bit.

"That you're always running...that you're weak."

"Running? Im not running from anything!" My arms cross defiantly and my brows crease even more.

"Yeah you are. You do it all the time. With me, Jake...just a minute ago even." A shake of her head. "The sad part about it is that you dont even realize you're doing it..."

"How, _pray tell_, am I running away from _you_?"

"Well, thus far, everytime you've seen me. You get quiet, distant...you pretty much put up your guard. You feel threatened by me, which is why you run..."

Part of me knows she right, but the other part just screams for me to prove her wrong.

"Oh, and I like how you didnt even deny the part about Jake." A cocky grin is what she rewards me with and I just about had it.

" Whatever, okay! I mean first off, why wouldnt I distance myself from you? You dont like me and I dont like you. And secondly, I _walk_ away, because you're bitch and I dont feel like, nor do I entertain the thought of arguing with you..."

"That may all be true, the part about me not liking you and being a bitch." She shrugs. "But, like I was getting at, you _run_ away from me, because as you've said, you think im a bitch. Which mind you... you only see me as such because I tell the truth. Unlike Jacob, I dont sugar coat anything." Her eyes bore into mine, silently telling me to say shes wrong. " You fear the truth, so run. You're weak, Bella. Its as simple as that.."

"You dont know anything about me.." I mumble more to myself, sniffling as I try to keep the tears away. "You're wrong..."

"Oh? Am I? Cause as far as I can tell, im right. You're always running, Bella. You ran here, to Jake, when your precious Cullens left you. And know you want to run away from me, another problem...cause you cant handle the truth."

Its silent for a moment, and I can just about make out the sound of my heart beating through my ears.

"Now, prove me wrong, Bella. Show me just how strong I know you can be...stay for once.." I look up at her through shocked, teary eyes, and notice just how much more softer her features have become. I swallow, hard, willing myself to say something, anything.

"Why do you care?" I whisper, stumbling towards my previous seat. "Why do you care if im weak, strong or anything at all. You dont like me..."

"True, I dont particularly care for you. You're weak, manipulative, and just plain boring..." My face twist with each declaration of her words. "But I care about Jake and his happiness. And for some unfathomable reason, he sees that in you." Another shrug of her shoulders. "Like it or not, you're here to stay...if i have to tolerate it, I at least wanna see and get to know the real you...the strong girl I know you can be..."

I sniffle again, not really knowing if I should take what she said as a compliment or insult.

She regards me with a smile, like real smile and something flutters in my belly. Im become flustered, which she notices.

"Are you...blushing?" Theres a hint of teasing in her voice which only serves to make me even more flustered.

"N-no! I just get like this when I cry." She eyes me skeptically with that smirk before shrugging it out.

"If you say so..."

I watch her for awhile, noticing how fluid her movement are as she works on the motor; her brows crease in concentration, lip darts out every now and then, and she sometimes hums to herself.

"You're kinda wrong, ya know?" She stops momentarily, and looks up at me curiously. "When you said I ran here, to Jake...after they," I swallow and ignore the throb in my chest; she notices of course. "After _she_ left. I didnt...Im not really running from anything. Im kinda...running towards something...seeking, I should say..." She eyes me strangely, no doubt wondering what the hell im going on about, but she doesnt voice it, just nods her head.

"Whatever the reason. Just...dont hurt Jake in process..." Her eyes turn cold again, letting me know shes deathly serious.

"I dont plan on it. I dont...want to hurt Jake. I need him, I love him...he's my bestfriend."

"Yeah, bestfriend...something he doesnt just want to be.." She deadpans, giving me a pointed looking while inclining her head.

"He wants something that I cant give right now."

"Right now or never?"

Its a question that im not sure of, a question I ask myself everyday, but still have no answer for.

"I dont know. All I know is that I need him. He's the only light I have left in my darkness..." I feel it, the tears steadily flowing down my face.

"Well, I hope you figure it out soon. For _everyone's_ sake..."

And by everyone, Im pretty sure she means me.

"He makes...he makes me feel alive. I think, with time...I could learn to be what he wants. What he yearns for me to be..."

"And what is it that you want, Bella?" She whispers, catching me off guard by both the question and how it sounded.

What do I want?

"I want. I want to feel whole again. I want...this hole in my chest to be filled..repaired. For each breath I take not to hurt...I just want to be happy..." I look away at this, unable to look in her the face any longer.

Silence.

"Ya know, we're alot like..you and I." She has that look of deep concentration again, like she thinking, going back in time.

I already know where shes going with this, or rather, where she wants to go, but the hard look on her face tells me she wont, at least not fully.

"Only difference between me and you is that ..._she_ left. _They_ didnt, and you dont have to be constantly reminded every hour of the day.."

Shes wrong about that. I am constantly reminded; every second, minute, hour, day...im reminded.

"She left," she repeated more to herself. "You're the lucky one.." She looks up then, a solemn look on her face; im not really sure what to say.

"How'd you...get over it, him? How do...how do I forget her?"

"I didnt," she says with a look of disbelief. " And you dont really get over her. Something like that takes alot of time...for now...you just endure it. Endure it til it makes you stronger..."

With the way shes going on about it, I wouldnt say that shes _enduring_ it too well.

"I guess," I mumble, not really knowing what else to say.

"You still have the nightmares?" Shocked, I look up from my previous gaze, the floor, and eye her questionably. How did she know about the nightmares? Did Jake tell her? No, no, that cant be right...I dont even think he knows or does he?

"Jake didnt tell me," She replies, confirming my suspicions. "I said we're alot alike..."

"For the most part, yeah. Though lately, not so much. Jake...he keeps them away..."

"Must be nice..." She smiles sadly and for a second I get the urge to hug her.

We settle into comfortable silence, with me occasionally sniffling and her tinkering with the engine again.

"Feels good, right?" She asks out of nowhere, startling me a bit. "Proving me wrong, I mean. Staying...showing me your strength?"

It takes me a moment to grasp what she says, and thinking about it, I realize it does feel good. Hearing this, enduring the truth, feels great.

"It does actually," I smile shyly. "It feels really good..."

"See, I knew you had it in you. Just needed a bit of bitching to force it out." For the first time ever, I hear her laugh and I must say that its nice: so nice I find myself laughing along with her.

"You're pretty cool in my book, Swan." She says after the laughter subsides. I blush of course.

"Okay, now. If we're gonna start fresh and at least try to be friends...you're gonna have to work on that, right there." She points to my flushed face, deepening it as she smirks.

What the hell is wrong with you, Swan?

"Sorry, " I mumble, biting my lip and looking away.

"Jeeze, Swan. I hate to see what you'd look like if it was sex we were talking about.." She teases, almost doubling over as she laughs.

Yeah, pretty sure I look like a fire truck right about now.

"Well, I was hoping that it was indeed laughter and not the sound of a deer..or Bella dying." I jump slightly at the familiar voice behind me, and smile at the boyish grin that greets me. " Looks like I was right.."

"Took you long enough, Tampon..."

"Didnt seem like you were complaining while I was gone. Sounded like some serious BFF talk going on in here..." He grins wider as we roll our eyes, and saunters over towards Leah.

"Yeah, whatever bighead." I wave him off with a smile." You get the part or not?"

"Yup, you got it.." He crosses his arms, that grin still plastered on his face. Theres a subtle look exchanged between the two, and I look on in confusion.

I have it? What the hell is he...wait a minute.

"You mean the part right there, by Leahs foot?" He ignores my obvious glare and nods eagerly.

Slowly the gears in my head start to turn. That nonchalant look, and shit-eating, all knowing smirk she had on her face...

"Soooo...this was a set up?"

"Basically.." Leah interjects, giving me her own little grin.

Im at a loss; as much as I want to be angry with him right now, with her, I cant. In all actuality, I should thank them. This little stunt just made Leah and I a little closer.

"You guys are asses.." They laugh at the playful glare on my face and dismiss me with a wave of their hand.

"That maybe so, but if we're indeed asses...you soooo want to smack us right now.." I roll my eyes at his mediocre joke just as Leah gives a playful smack to the head.

"Hey, what's all the noise in here?" I jump at the unexpected voices behind me, moving so that im standing off to the side, close to Jake.

I look at Jake questionably, and he nods, recognizing the worry in my eyes.

I dont know if I can trust these two or not. And I highly doubt Harry or Charlie for that matter would approve of our little project if either of them found out.

"Its cool, Slim. These are my boys..."

"-Ember and Quilletta.." I hear Leah say, snickering at her inside joke apparently.

"Very funny, _Leo_. Im Embry..." The tanned boy, with hair that rivaled that of Jakes, introduces. "And this is Quil..." He points to the other boy, standing off to his right, slightly behind him. His hair is much shorter than Embry's and features are much more softer. Embry face is more sharper than Quil's slightly chubby baby-face.

"Thats Quil Ateara..." He rasps flirtatiously, pecking the back of my hand.

_"Ummm, okayyyy."_

"So the whole story about building bikes was true then, eh?" Embry questions, a sly smirk making its way onto his lips.

"Um yeah, we've been at it for about a week now..."

"Hmm," Quil hums thoughtfully, an unknown expression marring his face. "So what about the story of you being his girlfriend..."

I raise an eyebrow at that.

Girlfriend?

Theres a snort from Leah, so I turn in time to see her eying me expectedly; a fine eyebrow rises and my face instantly mirrors that of Jakes.

Yeah, think its safe to say that I dont do well with being put on the spot.

"Ummm, well yeah. If by girlfriend you mean...girl that is a friend..?"

"Oh hoooo! She torched you, Black!" Im embarrassed but I cant help but join in their laughter. "He definitely didnt make that distinction..."

"Aha ha," Jacob quips sarcastically, that blush finally residing. "Dont you have something better to do, Quil? Like take your cousin dress shopping!" He, Leah, and Embry share a laugh and im just stuck staring in confusion.

What's so bad or funny about taking his cousin shopping?

"Dress shopping?"

"Yeah," Jacob chuckles. "He's taking his cousin to prom. Thats weaakkkk..."

"Yeah, whatever Black. At least I plan on going and have a date for that matter. Who you going with, your hand?"

His blush is back, and its accompanied by a playful growl.

"Boys," Leah mumbles, shaking her head as we look onto the playful display; Jacobs got Quil in a headlock, giving him a rather harsh noogie.

"Tell me about it," Embry mutters. "Got ten bucks on Quil though..."

"Your on!"

*T.I.M.*

"Ahhh, Rosalie, Dear." Aro rejoices with a clap of his hands, emitting that bubbly, child-like persona.

Its a facade of course, a false contrast to hidden reflection of the monster dwelling within. The monster I know him to be.

"Not that im not happy to see you, but do tell, to what do I owe honor of your visit." I ignore that sick, twisted, petrified grin on his face and honor him with a more stoic expression in response.

Visit? I cant help but snort at his words. Visiting would actually require my consent, it means I would technically have a say so, not having one of his minions force me here on my knees.

"Will you be staying long, my dear?" I recognize that subtle glint of hope in his eyes.

He'd love for that, for me to stay. For me to stay here, with him, as one of slaves.

I dont think so.

"Its more of brief stay. I needed to get away from my family for awhile. Think some things through." I shrug. "Guess my feet somehow landed me here..."

I know exactly why my feet landed me here, in Volterra, Italy. My original goal or logic was to come here to truly cope. To forget, and what better way to truly forget then by seeking Chelsea.

She'd make me forget for sure. If I so truly wished it, but I dont.

Not anymore.

I wanted it at first.

The thought crossed my mind as I traveled here, but as I continued to contemplate and as soon as Demetri made his presence known outside these walls, in the streets outskirts( word of certain arrivals travel fast it would seem) I didnt want to forget anymore.

The suffering is unbearable, but I cant forget her. I refuse to forget the pain, its the only human feeling I have left. The only thing thats keeping me from becoming one of them.

A monster.

"Indeed, I guess it did.." I dont like the way his eying me, nor do I like the way his purposely hiding his thoughts.

He knows of my ability to read minds, and so far Ive manage to keep my other "gifts" under wraps. Now If I can just keep it that way.

"Are you unhappy with your lot?" He further inquires, squinting slightly with an unreadable expression.

"Something like that..." I mumble, clearly uninterested by where he's going with this.

"That is quite a sadness." Its obviously spoken half-heartedly."Well, my dear...our family is more than willing and happy to accommodate.." And by accommodate he's referring to me joining his coven. "If you wished it, of course?"

He's being coy in trying to make me believe I have a choice. If he really wanted me to join, all it'd take is a snap of his fingers.

"I dont." I say flatly, making sure he sees and understands my disinterest. "I only wish to reside here, in Volterra, peacefully for the time being.."

"Very well." He sighs, a slight frown making its way to his lips. Why is he being so lenient? Whats he hiding? "Well I do at least hope you'll join us for dinner? You look positively famished..."

"Thank you, but...no thanks. Perhaps another time.." Is not at all a question, im not requesting anything. Its statement, a false statement at that.

"Yes, quite well indeed. Perhaps maybe another time." He repeats cryptically. "I do hope to cross paths again soon, my dear.." He ushers me to stand and I happily comply. "Maybe _catch_ up on some things..?"

"Yes, maybe..." I already know what he means by "catch" up; he wants to pick and prod at my head, see what I've seen. And thats something im not at all looking forward to. "Am I free to leave now?"

"Yes, please...let us be done with this dreary nonsense..." Marcus mumbles nonchalantly; clearly im not the only one uninterested.

"Fair well, dear Rose." I dont even turn around to acknowledge him, I just keep walking, at human speed, as fast as I can. "Ahhh, I do so enjoy company." Is the last thing I hear Aro mutter.

**Two days later**_._

"I know you're there, Alice. So you can stop hiding." I all but growl, not even bothering with the dead goat in my hands.

Hunting in Italy, beyond the walls and sight of the Volturi of course, is a bit of a daunting task.

I literally had to travel miles, towns and villages over just to get my fill. Im in more of the mountain terrain, where goats seem to roam about. Under the shadows of the night of course. Only at night.

My eyes flicker in the darkness, something fluorescent, as the said women makes her presence fully known.

Cautiously she steps out of the forested shadows, hands up in mock surrender with a small smile.

I growl of course; surely she knows better than to interrupt ones hunt.

My pitch back eyes narrow at the mental question, and I do my best push back the hunger on my tongue, as well as my rage.

"What do you want, Alice? Im more than sure you saw my decision to leave, and Im sure Edward passed it on. So therefore you know that I asked to be left alone..."

"Yes, Im well aware of your..._request_." Her own eyes narrow a bit."Just like im well aware of your reasoning's for coming here."

I dont even reframe from sighing; I already had a good idea that she'd seen where I was headed.

"Out of all places, Rose? Really? Volterra...and Chelsea..?" She exhales deeply, running a hand through her hair irritably. "Surely you know just what shes capable of?"

I dont say anything, just turn my spiteful gaze away shamefully.

"I get that you want it to go away, Rose. To forget her, what we did..." I shut my eyes, trying not to flinch at her words. They cut so deep." But Chelsea," a shake of her head."You'll not only forget her Rose, you'll forget us all. You know what Aro wants...you really think he'd allow her to just stop with Bella? He'd make you turn from us as well. Is that what you really want?"

Her voice had started off so strong, so passionate, but the last part? It was nothing but a sad whisper.

"It would make things so much easier, if I did." It'll hurt her no doubt, but my hurt cuts so much deeper than hers. "But no, I dont want that. I dont want to forget the people who abandon me when I needed them most. Just like I dont want to to forget her, what we...I left behind. Thats why I didnt didnt do it. Thats why I changed my mind.

She regards me with a sad look.

"Does he know about, Bella?"

"No. Not that I know of," I cross my arms defiantly. "He hasn't read my mind yet. And if he did know somehow, im pretty sure he'd already make the means to settle the matter, as soon as possible, dont you?"

And by means, I mean remove the problem from the equation; and that problem is Bella.

"I dont know. Ive tried looking into the future, but im not getting much to go by. So far, Bella's," I flinch at the name."Is still the same. All I get is nightmares. And you, well my vision led me here as you can see..."

"I can keep my distance from them for a while, but sooner or later, they'll come for me..."

"Rose you gotta leave here. If Caius...if Aro for that matter find out about this, about anything, it'll be the end of us all."

"Caius I can handle, but im not so sure about Aro and his all seeing eye. I can block out some things but not all..."

"-Rose, please...come home? Im begging you. Leave here!"

I know what she asks of me is best. That I should leave this place for everyone's sake, but I need more time. Its bad enough that I have to deal with my own depressing thoughts, but having the thoughts and emotions of seven other people is way too much.

"Alice, even if I leave here, right now even, they'd still find me and inquire my reasons for not bidding them farewell, _properly_. And you and I both know what I mean by that..."

I mean, he'd inquire about my reasoning's for not seeking his unrelenting gaze.

"They're gonna find out." She persist, worry evident in her amber eyes.

"You havent envisioned it and neither have I, so how do you know?" I wait for her answer but she has none. "Look dont worry about it, okay? Just give me some more time. I wont be here much longer. And as for Aro? Yeah he'll seek his little private consultation, but Ive got an ace in my sleeve. He's not the only one with an unrelenting gaze, remember?"

Shes knows exactly what im referring to.

"You said you werent so sure about him though, remember?"

"I wont fail, Alice. Trust me. Now go, they'll catch knowledge of your presence if you linger too much longer. Im sure they have Demetri on my tail as we speak..."

"Alright. Im trusting you, Rose." She sighs, turning to face the direction in which she came. "And you better not fail, Rose. Cause if you do, we all fail..."

I think that, right there, is the biggest understatement of the century.

**A/N: So I dont have a clue what exactly Chelseas power is. I googled the shit and it just made me confused so, im just gonna say that she makes you forget whatever you want. Which isnt too far off from her original power but whatever. I made a few changes to several character powers as well, Aro being one of them. He can still read thoughts by touch, but can also communicate mentally with Edward and Rosalie.**

**Nough said, now be patient. Im working on getting the next chapter up poon-faces:P**


	34. Games of The Mind

**A/N: Sup bitches lol j/p. So lets kick this off by me sayin that this chapter gave me a freakin headache. I had to continuously google everybody's abilities and try to fuckin comprehend, only to end up with a migraine. So, if you get confused reading this, just know that you arent the only one. Chapter isnt Beta'd so bare with me. Read, review, and fuck off:)**

"soooo, if we're gonna be doing this, we're gonna have to somehow fit homework into our schedule. Dont want Charlie or Harry thinking im a bad influence..."

The sound of lips smacking and a chorus of snickering resounds around the room. Its a friday evening. And one of the rare times Jake, Leah, and their boys have managed to all get together.

"Pssh," Jake looks up from his previous task, tinkering with what i assume is the engine. "Good or bad, you're not influencing anything this way..." He makes an invisible circle around his vicinity.

Leah agrees as she tinkers with the other bikes engine. Quil, Embry, and Seth, Leahs brother, whom I recently met today, are all lounging about in the shed, looking utterly bored.

"Ummm, Im older than you guys, remember? So that makes me the influencer and you guys the influency.."

"Um, is that even a word?" Embry replies lazily from his spot on the workbench.

"-Exactly. And you're definitely not older than me.." Leah adds, not really bothering with taking her attention away from her work.

"Yeah, but still. Who got you guys to build these two wheel death machines for me, hmm?"

"True, but," Jake pauses, giving me a slide long glance. "Your general paleness-"

"-And lack of know how." Leah adds again.

"-Makes us older than you in terms of wisdom. We're the influencer and your the influency, as you said.."

"That doesnt even make sense.." They cant defend an argument by pointing out my skin color, its irrelevant!

"Besides," Jake shrugs."Just who was it that ultimately got you and Leah to stop arguing, hmm?"

Point taken.

"He does have a point.." Seth regards me with a simple shrug of his shoulders as I shoot him a playful glare.

"Alright then, where does this leave us?"

"Hmm, age and knowledge wise? Im forty.."

"Then im thirty five..."

"Leahs one..." Quil snickers, hi-fiving Seth.

"Fuck you!"

"Nah, shes more like...fifty..?" I look at her expectedly and she pauses for moment, pursing her lips, seemingly thinking it over before nodding.

"Im eighty!"

"-You're a squirt, Seth.." Seth sticks he's tongue out at Quil.

"Well, you're zero!"

"Nope, im a hundred!" Quil declares brightly, rather happy with himself.

"Yeah, negative a hundred. I, Embry, am a thousand..."

"You guys are losers," Leah chuckles, shaking her head at their banter. "And im bored. Lets go to the beach..."

Looking at each other, we all shrug in agreement.

"Okay.."

*T.I.M*

"Who's Jared?" I ask from my spot in the sand; we're all generally huddled around the small bon-fire, peering at the water.

Some of the boys, Seth and Quil, are currently taking a dip into the water.

Its beyond me, but why would anyone in their right mind want to swim in negative degree water?

I shake my head and ponder my original question.

It pops into my head after hearing Embry mumble something to Jake about him.

"Him." I follow Jacobs finger, which is pointing to his far right, angled upward, at a rather steep cliff. I notice three figures at its edge, one in which seems to be fighting off an assault right before being thrown over the edge?

"Whoa!" Im on my feet in seconds, utterly shocked by what I just seen."Did you guys see that? He just pushed em over t-"

"-Relax," Embry chuckles as if it were nothing. Clearly he didnt just see what I saw."Its called cliff diving.." He further explains as he sees the look on my face.

"Cliff diving? Isnt that...dangerous?"

"-Yeah, if you dont know what you're doing. But Its a total rush..."

_Rush_.

"We've all done it a few times. On much lower cliffs of course." Im truly baffled by Jacobs confession; never really thought of him doing such a thing. Its intriguing.

"Yeah, their just showing off. Think they run this place...bunch of off brand hall monitors on roids if you ask me..." I look on towards Embry, taking note to the somewhat forlorn look on his face. He's angry no doubt, but theres something else lurking behind those eyes.

He's sad.

"So what happen? I mean...what's their deal?"

"I dont know. Things have just been weird around here. Jared, the one we were talking about, he use to hang around us all the time. Basically like another brother to me. Then a few weeks ago," Jacob shakes his head. "He started acted weird. First it was just subtle little changes. Mood swings, but then he started missing school. Next thing I know he's sporting a new cut, tattoo and following Sam around like a damn puppy."

"Thats...deep.." I say, trying to ignore the sudden hiss from Leah. No doubt from hearing Sam's name.

"I know right? Remember when I said Sam had been giving me 'looks'?"

My head bobs as I shift onto my right arm.

"Yeah well, he's been giving Embry the same looks..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, its starting to creep me out. Its like...he's waiting for something. And sometimes," that once forlorn look that marred Embry's face has turned into confusion, maybe even fear."Sometimes I think...hear voices. Like whispers in my head. I dont know...but I dont like it.."

"Thats beyond creepy. Just...just try to keep away from em I guess.."

"Yeah, I guess..."

"Ugh, enough of this drabble!" I flinch slightly at Leahs outburst. "We came here to have fun, right?"

We all look at each other, nodding our heads hesitantly.

"Well lets have some fun then! Screw Sam and his little lap dogs...lets go show em how its really done!"

"You cant be serious?"

The only answer Jacob gets is the sight of Leah taking off her clothes until shes only in her under and bra.

"Eww, Leah! What the hell...?" Seth mutters, taking a seat by the fire with Quil in toe.

I stare at her, face immediately set ablaze as I take note of her extremely fit body. Theirs not an ounce of fat on her.

Did I really just check out Leah?

"Niceeee." Embry mutters, fist pounding Quil before earning a glare from Leah.

"I dont think its such a good Id-" Im already at my feet, stripping my clothes and silencing any and all thoughts from Jake.

"See, Swan has the right idea..." All eyes are on me, and im suddenly aware of how exposed I feel.

Probably because I am.

"Double Niceee!" Another fist pound from Embry and Quil. "Dont know what your talking bout, Black...but im with them..."

"Ugh, you've got to be kidding me...?"

*T.I.M*

"You okay?" I take the hand Jake extends to me and nod my head. Yeah im okay, just freezing my damn ass off.

In order to get to the cliff, the lower one, we had to swim towards the opening; just near the rocks theres a small ledge . Its steep, which is why we basically had to shimmy to the other side which seems alot wider in space.

"Wow," I say peering over the in awe. Its only a few feet down and nothing in comparison to the free fall above, where the howls of Leah, Embry and Quil can be heard.

"Hey down there!" I hear Leah before I see her; I croon my neck outward and slightly up and im greeted with a cheeky grin. "Watch this!" She disappears from sight for a moment, but then I see her form falling from the sky in a perfect swan dive.

I hold my breath as she hits the water, heart beating through my ears and sigh as she surfaces.

Im anxious, that much is sure from the rapid beat of my heart.

The question is, why isnt she here? They said it'd give me a rush, and surely this is borderline recklessness. So why, why isnt she here?

"Come on _driving miss daisy!_ We dont have all day!" Apparently I missed Embry's and Quils down drop while I was deep in thought.

"Ready?" I look at the soft warm hand in my own and slowly draw my attention upwards. I hadnt meant to _stare_ at him, but my eyes seem to linger at his midsection before I force them to peer at his face. He regards me with a knowing smirk, to which I shy away from before giving my his hand a squeeze.

"Yeah." It comes out as a raged breath and I find myself clutching his hand even tighter.

"We dont have to do this if you dont w-.."

"-I do." He eyes me skeptically for a moment." Really, Jake. Im fine. I just..." I hesitate for a moment, looking about for any sighs of her presence. Shes not here. "Just uh...nervous I guess..."

He nods slowly at my words. "Yeah, its like that the first couple of times, but its so worth the rush you get." Slowly he edges back, a good ten feet away from the edge. "Rocks tend to be closer to the edge, so we always make sure we have enough length for a running start..."

"Have you ever hurt yourself? From the rocks I mean?"

That definitely got my attention.

"Nah, just smashed my head in once or twice." He grins at the disheveled look on my face. "Im kidding..."

"Right," I chuckle nervously. "Kidding..."

"You sure you want to do this? I mean its not too late..."

"Yes, im sure. Im ready...I want to do this..."

"Alright," he concedes, not to thrilled by my not-so-lack in enthusiasm. "On the count of three..."

The tug of my hand in his is my only confirmation.

"One..."

I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Two..."

I ignore the constant thrumming of my heart.

"Three!"

*T.I.M*

I inhale sharply as I come to. For the first time in months, I relent. I caved into my desire to see her, the one person im forbidden to seek, and got nothing.

Somethings blocking my vision, and im immediately set on alert.

"...my dear?" I blink a few times in confusion, pushing my concern away for now, and focus on Aro's worried crimson eyes.

"Im sorry?"

"I said, it would of been such a joyous treat to see Carlislethe whole lot even, this lovely evening. Dont you agree, my dear?" Theres a strange look on his face, but I ignore it, along with that glint in his eyes.

After weeks of doing my best to avoid him and his strange underlings, I finally agreed to his little meet and greet. Or rather he sent his little minions, Felix and Demetri to fetch and force me to agree. He offered me a seat at his table, several of his coven mates occupying seats; Marcus, Caius, even their estranged wives. They however sit behind their superiors with Renata close by. Ive never seen their faces of course, their always cloaked in black, highly protected by the underlings.

Theres several blood offerings; wine glasses, or bowls filled to the rim with blood...human blood.

My throat burns, but I'll deny his tidings.

"Yes, that it would. Shameful they couldnt be here..."

"Yes, especially Alice," theres a subtle twitch in my features at this; does he know about her little visit? "I took quite the liking to her the last time she and your coven visited. Such a long time ago im afraid..."

"Right, a long time ago," I clear my throat."I see all is still well in Volterra since our last stay of course. Everyone so happy and gracious towards their _saints_."

"That they are. So tell me Rosalie, what was it that brought you here again to Volterra exactly?"

I ponder my thoughts for a second; I could lie, but he'd see the truthfulness in my mind. Or at least some of it I should say.

"I came in search for something. Relief, the same kind that Chelsea," my eye flicker towards the said women. "Is known to provide..."

His eyes seem to gleam at my words.

"What splendid news!" That creepy smile makes its way onto his lips. "Im sure Chelsea and even Corin for that matter," in an instant the said women, are by my side, placing a tender hand on my shoulders. A big mistake." could accomodat-..."

"-That wont be necessary." I interrupt, politely removing their hands. I had started to feel their abilities trying to prob me, it worked to an extent but unbeknownst to them, I had Renata's help. "Ive dealt with my burdens and no longer seek her...abilities." That smile instantly fades, leaving a slight pout on his face.

"Surely you wish to reconsider? You would be such-..."

"-I know what it is that you desire of me...and even that of my family." I say, deciding it best not to beat around the bush. I take note to the change in mood, anxiousness, being most, with a hint of worry. "Im not interested. And will never be..." I dont hide my distaste nor do I hide my scowl; Alec and Jane's crimson eyes flicker towards my own and I notice their slightly tense posture. They feel threatened.

"Ahh, sometimes I forget that you are quite the little mind reader yourself." He motions towards the said twins, and they immediately relax.

"That I am." I challenge; something that is either really brave or really stupid. "A gift of the gods," I continue, challenging him with a brow. "You'd be amazed by what secrets you'd find hidden in the deepest, darkest, corner of ones mind..." My eyes flicker between him and Marcus for a second before settling on his.

I know what he did. Ive known for a long time now. He never knew that I knew, until now that is.

_"Is that a threat, my dear?" _He inquires mentally, reclining further into his chair.

_"No. Not a threat. I wouldnt dream of threatening you or the order for that matter. Because well, you take _Care_ of your threats. Its simply a warning. A fact of sorts. Im letting you know that I know..."_

_"What are seeking to accomplish now that you know this...very unsettling news?"_

_"I dont wish to accomplish anything. I only wish to stay and or leave here, when I see fit. Without any problems."_ My eyes flicker towards his many underlings_."That, and I want my family to be left to themselves..."_

I know that both my requests are highly unlikely, but thats what my ace in the hole is for. The only way I'll ever get him to truly trust and believe my words is if he reads my mind.

"Just what are you hiding?" He says aloud, gaining a few stares.

"Hiding?" In seconds Im at his side, before Felix, Demetri, Alec or even Jane for that matter can think; Renata however is always beside him, at the ready for anything.

This is the moment I've been waiting for. For her to to extend her hand against my shoulder, unknowingly relenting to me, giving me what's hers. Her power. One of the key stepping stones I need in order to sway Aro's sight.

No one leaves Volterra without further inquiry, and as I've said before, I can block some things but not all. This is where Renata comes into play. Im going to sway his mental path into another direction, bend it.

Ive never attempted this "theory" until now. Ive been thinking about it nonstop, but never fully delved into it. Its a bit careless, I'll admit and it could compromise everything if it goes bad.

"Surely you know better than anyone, that nothing gets past your sight. Here," I offer my hand, kneeling and peering up at him expectantly." This is what you want anyway right? What you've been so eager to possess since my arrival weeks ago. You wont give me permission to leave until this matter is taken care of. So lets be done with it..." By this time, all of his minions are at their feet, tensing and ready for anything.

He eyes me hesitantly at first, no doubt taking my words and my ability into consideration; he knows now that I know of his treachery. So of course he'll be hesitant to comply, but comply he does.

He motions for Renata to step aside, and slowly gathers my hands into his own. His gaze meets my own for moment and I regard him with a stoic expression before I feel him delving into my mind.

I do my best and successfully block out the thoughts of my other abilities, and focus my new power, not so much on protecting my thoughts of Bella, but rather bending them. Ive become fairly good at it keeping my thoughts away from her, but a sudden vision, anything cant mess this up. I focus on putting up a sort of a mental shield and bend the images he perceives so that any and all thoughts or images of Bella, turn into that of Tanya.

"Ahhh," he sighs as he finally comes to. " So it is love thats brought you here to the steps of Volterra?" I nod, gasping for air as I try to stand to my feet, eye level with him. I hadnt expected it, but this little stunt took alot out of me. I feel dizzy, along with something else; nauseous. " Love can be such a beautiful but sad thing, my dear. Im so glad you dealt with your burdens.." He says, more than likely referring to contentment I emitted during our little session.

"That it is." I manage through clench teeth, holding my stomach at the foreign feeling within me.

"Are you okay, my dear? You look a bit paler than normal..."

"Im...fine," I wave him off, stangering a bit; he eyes me curiously before nodding.

"Well, it would seem as though you've made up your mind. It saddens me to know that I've lost and never even gained a women with such...potential."

"Aro, may I leave now?" I inquire after a few more minutes of awkward silence; that unsettling feeling in my belly is beginning to worsen. He seems to snap out of whatever zone he was in and waves me off with his hands.

"Yes, yes, indeed. You're free to go. Enjoy the rest of your stay in Volterra and I do hope you'll visit again soon. Chelsea, will you do the honors of escorting our guest to the city?"

I withhold a sigh at his request; I already knew he wouldnt be swayed by my decision not to join so easily. He tried to block his own thoughts but wasnt quite successful. Somewhere down the line he'd try to change my mind along with the others of my coven, but for now he'd keep his end of the bargain...to an extent.

I bid farewell to my superiors, bending at the waist, slightly wincing, as I show respect; I eagerly follow Chelsea towards the exit.

As expected, Chelsea is unforgiving in her technique. Shes constantly probing me, and at the same time seducing me; I can practically taste her arousal in the nights air. It makes my stomach churn more. If I hadnt acquired and mastered(not all) the many abilities I possessed over the years, I probably wouldnt even be able to resist so well. That, and her abilities have a few loopholes. She and I both know she cant sway extremely strong bonds, she's tried before and failed. Carlisle, Carmen and Eleazar are prove of that. But she'll persist until the very end.

"I do hope you'll enjoy your stay in Volterra. And we hope to see you again soon. So refreshing to see new faces, especially one as enchanting as yo-"

"-Cut the crap, Chelsea. Im a mind reader if you've forgotten? Not interested in your bullshit, now run along," I walk past her as we near the castles outskirts." Afton and Aro are waiting for you.."

It comes out as a winced sneer, one that doesnt seem to deter her in the slightest; she grabs at my arm and next thing I know her lips are on my own.

It take me a few seconds to fully comprehend what's happening before the thought to push her away edges at my brain; fortunately she does the owners for me.

She forces me away and a loud smack follows.

"What the fuck...?" Is the only thing running through my mind as I stand there stuck, head still turned in the direction of her forceful slap.

"Arrivederci'..."

I shake off my disgruntled thoughts and proceed to return to my dwelling, only to stop midway to empty the content of my stomach. The venom burns my throat more than usual, but I proceed nonetheless. Not even five minutes later after getting into get into the door, my cell is ringer uncontrollably.

"Yes, Alice?"

"Is...is everything...?"

"Its fine, everythings fine.."

"-Yoy dont sound fine. You okay?"

"Im just tired.."

"Tired? Since when do we ever get tired.."

"Since now apparently," I hiss, clearly annoyed. "Everythings good, Alice. I read his thoughts and he read mine."

"What about Bella?"

"He hasn't seen anything regarding Bella. Only Tanya..."

"And he just let you leave? Like it was nothing? Surely he knows what you've seen in his head?"

"He does. But again, he read my thoughts. He knows I wont say anything. Otherwise he would of ended me already. But he wont do that, he still has hopes that I'll...we'll join him."

She hums thoughtfully at this before sighing heavily.

"Are you coming home now? Esme...we all miss you terribly so. Even Edward.."

I snort at that thought.

"Edward doesnt miss me. He doesnt even trust me as far as I know. And no, I wont be back til I feel like im ready..."

"-But Rose, what else can you gain from-.."

"Alice!" Theres a muffled sound on the other end, like a sob or a cry and the only thing I think to do is sigh. Im hurting them, but what about me? What about my pain?

"Look, Alice, just...give me more time." Theres a sniffle and light sound of shuffling, which lets me know that shes nodding. "I cant really see you nod, Alice..." Theres another sniffle, followed by her bell like laughter.

"Have you...have you seen anything regarding Bella in the past hour or so?"

"Yeah, last time I checked she was with Charlie. Why? Did something happen?"

"I dont know and thats the problem... I didnt...see anything."

"Edward mentioned to me that he couldnt read your mind in Denali. That you were blocking it. But not just blocking it, its beyond that..."

I already know where this is going so dont even bother witholding a sigh, its no point.

"It was like your mind was blank. No thought whatsoever. At least when im purposely trying to block my thoughts from him, he can pick up lyrics or something. But with you, the only thing he could hear was Bella's name, but not really a thought or image of her." Theres a subtle twitch in my features at the name. "He also said that you never, not even once had a vision, not since I left there..."

"So, whats your point?"

"My point, Rose, is that somethings happening to you. You were never able to just block your mind or visions for that matter. You're changing.."

"-And what do you expect?" I sneer. "Did you really think Id just stay the same after what we did!"

"No, but I didnt expect you to just _evolve_. You're becoming..stronger. Its strange..."

Evolve? Stronger?

"Oh, is that what father tells you now? That im evolving...like im some fucking science specimen!"

"God no, Rosalie! I havent even said anything to Carlisle..."

Not yet anyway, is what she really means.

"I know about you and Renata, what you did...your abilities." She prods further after a moment of silence. "Carlisle should know..."

Of course she knew. Thats the perk or annoyance of being a Seer; you have the potential to see everything.

"Why? So can tell me to home and pick and prod at me? I think not..."

"Rose, im just worried is all. You know how unstable you were the first time. After Edward and myself, It nearly drove you mad with anxiousness. You wont be able to control i-.."

"-I can control it just fine!" This time she sighs at the unmistakable hiss directed at her.

That feeling begins to rise again. A side effect, I presume?

"Your so stubborn, Rose." I can picture the sad look on her face as she more than likely shakes her head. " But I still love you. So please take care..."

She doesnt wait for my reply, just hands up.

_"You're changing, Rosalie." I contemplate her words._

What's so bad about change? Isnt that what they all wanted in the first place, a change? For me to change and of course Bella.

Change is good, in _Edwards_ eyes of course.


	35. Lets Thrill Ride

**A/N: Alright so ive been mulling over this story for awhile and for a minute I kind of lost interest. I do that from time to time, just shut off and whatnot, only this time its for a specific reason. Everybody seems to want something or has something to say. Bring Rosalie back, do this, stop cursing, this story sucks now, and blah, blah, blah. And ya know, thats fine, everybody has and is entitled to their own opinion, and I encourage you to give feedback, I dont have a problem with that. Im more than willing to accomodate (my writing) for my readers or at least try to in order to keep them happy sappy. What I wont accomodate for or change is me, my personality. Yeah I curse, i called yall some bitches and the lot, so what? I curse, ALOT, frankly, its all that ever comes out of my mouth. If you hate that, then you'd definitely hate me in person. This is me, its who I am, and im changing it for anybody. Ive got alot of other bullshit to worry about in my life, I dont need a lecture. Thanks but no thanks. And im not being at all serious when I do call yall bitches. Lighten up, its all in fun, I call my friends bitches all the time and yes, I do consider my readers my friends. I couldnt stand yall mofos but, you've grown on me lol. But anyway, dont take that shit so seriously. Its humor and if you dont like it, then well, everybody knows what they can do, im just saying.**

**primrosered: I appreciate your feedback and your decision to no longer follow this story. To each its own, I suppose. I cant please everybody and not gonna try. I did however notice you took a liking to one of my other stories, so thats nice. As long as your still here in some way, then im still grateful.**

**All my still loyal readers, old and new: I thank you for still being here. I agree that the story is getting a bit predictable(Ive mentioned before that it will follow twilight closely, only with a few twist and turns) but I went back and tried to accomodate to your lack of interest. You probably wont take notice for a few more chapters but I trying to change it up a bit. Wont be that big of a change but, im trying.**

**Now a shout out to a special reader, one that really made me happy and all that other sappy crap lolOrangesmurfette: You my friend, are funny. I like funny, I like humor, it makes the world go round. Everyone of your reviews slowly helped me out of my unhappy place. And that place is very unhappy, dark, scary, and just a complete contrast to what I want to be, which is happy. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart.**

**Alright, enough of this sappy shit.**

**Read, review, or dont, whatever.**

"I think uh...Quil and my little brother are smitten with you." Leah laughs, picking up a pebble and throwing it into the water.

Its just me and her today at La Push. Jacob had some things to do with Billy and Charlie. And by that I mean sunday night football.

Thanks but no thanks.

"Well thats too bad for them, cause im not really into the whole cougar thing..." She chuckles but eyes me warily.

"So, whats up with you and age? Like, how old was your little princess anyway?"

She hadnt meant it, or at least I hoped she hadnt, but her words instantly reopen the wounds Jacob worked so hard to fill.

I wish he was here now. He'd keep the nightmares, the thoughts away.

"Sorry," she mumbles, finally taking notice to the change in mood.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot for it.." She stops in her tracks, turning to give me her undivided attention. The one thing that I both love and hate about Leah is her eyes; she tends to stare at you with so much intensity that it becomes kind of unnerving.

Theres a forced cough, and I blink my eyes a few times, noticing that shes staring at me with a raised brow. I do my best not to blush and move a strand of hair behind my ear; a nervous habit.

"Well? What'd you want to know?"

"Why didnt...why didnt you tell Jacob about...about what happen. That day in the street I mean?"

She shrugs at this, nonchalantly folding her arms.

"I dont know. I didnt really see the point I guess. Honestly, he probably wouldnt have believed a word a said."

"-Charlie believed you." I eye her expectedly, chewing on my bottom lip and fiddling with a strand of my hair; she sighs of course. Unfolding her arms and running her hands through her long hair.

"Look, im not gonna apologize for 'ratting' you out to your dad, Swan. He's not me or Jake, he's your dad, he deserved to know. Suicide isnt just some little thing you can brush off. It effects everybody, whether you realize it or not."

"-I wasnt," I chew on my lip, trying to choose my words wisely. "I wasnt trying to kill myself." That eyebrow raises again at this. "I just kind of...zoned out. And then I thought I saw something..."

"Yeah," she snorts." I thought I saw something too. A giant semi, splattering your brains across the pavement..."

I immediately flinch at the image playing through my head.

"Where...where you coming from when you saw me? And thank you...by the way...for saving me."

She waves me off with her hands and goes back to her previous task; kicking the sand and staring off into the water.

"I work a few blocks from there at a local diner. I was on my way to pick up my check when you just so happen to be standing in the street like an idiot..." She chuckles a bit at the end, giving me a sympathetic smile. "And your welcome."

"Can I ask you another question?"

She doesnt stop whats she doing this time, but her eyes do flicker to my own for a second, letting me know shes paying attention.

"About Sam-.."

"-Hey, you wanna give it another go?" She cuts me off, nodding her head into the direction of the cliff. I some how get the feeling that she knew what I was going to say;shes pretty sure shes trying to avoiding my question.

I sigh, just as she starts walking ahead of me; clearly shes not giving me much choice in the matter.

"Isnt there a bit too much...I dont know...turbulence in the water? Thats dangerous right?" I peer down at the waves crashing against the cliff, on my hands and knees; Leahs already began taking off her clothes. "Not only that but...I've never jumped from this high up..."

"I know. Scared Swan?" I turn my head in time to see her removing her jeans. For a second I stare a little too hard, earning me another forced cough and that teasing eyebrow. "And yeah, it can be dangerous...if you dont know what your doing that is. Ive been jumping from these cliffs since I was twelve. I wont let anything happen to you. Promise." She ends her declaration with a smile, like one of those million dollar mega watt smiles and I turn my head away, blushing like an idiot.

"Come on!" She begins, pulling me to my feet. "Live a little." Slowly she begins undoing the buttons to my coat; I dont know why I do, but I find the act to be highly affectionate.

"You have serious issues, ya know?" I look up at her and find that shes smirking at the visible blush on my cheeks.

"Shut up," I mumble, turning away and removing the rest of my clothes myself.

"I cant believe I let you talk me into this. Its freezing out here! And what the hell are we gonna do after this is said and done? I'll catch pneumonia trying to climb back up here for my clothes..."

"Stop whining, Swan. Ive got that all taken care of. Ive got some towels and spare clothes in the Rabbit. The sweats may be a bit big, but no worries, okay?" She offers me her hand, and I nod, slowly and hesitantly grasping for it.

Its soft, I notice. Soft and warm. Not at all cold like hers.

_Hers_.

Immediately my eyes seek out her presence. Theres a brief flash of blond, but just as soon as it came, it went.

Why wont she stay?

"You okay?" Blinking away my confusion I come face to face with worried brown eyes.

"Yeah, zoned out...I guess."

"Just before we hit the water, straighten out your legs. Keep your toes pointed and hold your breathe." I nod my head, ignoring the beating of my heart. "One more thing. Dont resurface right away. Waves will be thrashing against the cliff and if you resurface, you'll get caught in it. We'll swim away from the cliff and then resurface. So hold your breath." I let this information sink in, but I cant help but feel a little nervous.

"Dont worry, I got you...and I wont let go, okay?" I squeeze at our hands and she mirrors my actions. "Ready?"

Unlike Jacob, she doesnt give fare warning before she jumps, she just takes off, with me in toe.

I give a yelp just as my left foot leaves the edge and we come tumbling down hand and hand. I straighten out my legs and hold my breath just like she informed me right before we hit the water.

Theres a tingly feeling you get when the water hits your skin, almost like a pinch or tiny stabs, but the adrenaline out weighs everything else.

We somehow get detangled from one another and I begin to panic in the dark coldness. The only thing I can think to do is resurface, the one thing she told me not to.

Only thing is, I cant really tell which way is up and which way is down.

My lungs burn for much needed air, and just as soon as im about to swim to where I believe is upward, something grazes my hip from behind.

I turn swiftly and im once again met with brown eyes. Their narrowed, and shes rapidly pointing ahead of us, to where I assume the shore is located. Only problem is, im not so sure I can hold it that long.

I shake my head and point to my mouth and then upward. She shakes her head "no" and just when im about to push away and surface she grabs me and forces her lips onto my own, breathing into me deeply.

The ache in my lungs slowly begin to subside a bit and its wrong, but I try to focus solely on the feel of her lips.

Their numbingly soft from what I cant tell, even in the cold water. My stomach begins to flutter, but Just as the feeling comes, its already gone and shes frantically kicking and pulling me towards shore.

"You...you okay?" We collapse on the sand, breathing heavily and panting as the air begins to fill our lungs. For a second, I thought she wasnt gonna make it with the way her legs had seem to slow down after a while.

Shes tired, and more than likely sore from all the extra effort. From me weighing her down.

"Im... fine." I flip onto my back and stare up at the darken sky. "The question is," pant," are you?"

"Im good!" I jump slightly as she hovers over me, grinning like the cheshire cat. "Come on, lets get some clothes on before we catch a cold..."

I follow her to the Rabbit, shivering and shaking as I do so, and happily accept the large towel thrown my way. I dry off as good as I can and toss it back so she can do the same.

"Here, the thermal and sweats are a bit big, as I was telling you before but its all he has back here..."

"Leah!" We both turn to the three figures making their way down the beach towards, and I can just feel Leah tense beside me. "I think it'd best if you'd take your friends life into consideration more. You know how harsh these water are nowadays..." Theres a stern look on his face, like he trying to size her up. Leahs eyes immediately narrow and she doesnt hesitate to puff out her own chest, sizing him up as well.

"I think _you'd_ do best to mind your own damn business, Samuel! Obviously shes fine...and im not as reckless as you think. So why dont you and your little lap dogs go play fetch, and 'hall' monitor some place else!"

Sams face falters as he eyes Leah some more, and then just like that, he's gone. He gives a heavy sigh before leaving, Paul and Jared in toe.

"Ass-hole. Thinks he runs this place..." I awkwardly stand by, watching as she haphazardly puts on a set of sweats. "Come on. We'll warm up alot sooner in the car..."

I flinch slightly as she unintentionally slams the car door just a bit too much. She flips on the the heater and we just sit there in awkward silence.

"I dont know what happened." She whispers after a few moments of silence; she seems in deep thought, staring at the steering wheel.

Im a bit confused and caught off guard by the comment so I just stare, waiting for her to continue.

"Thats what you were going to ask me earlier, right? About Sam? About what happen...?" Her eyes flicker to my own and the only thing I can do is chew on my lip.

She sighs, reclining in her chair, slightly leaning against the door frame.

"I dont know what happen. One day, were making plans for our happily ever after and in the next...im being pushed out of the picture and replaced by Emily..."

"Your _cousin_?" I deadpan, giving her a disgruntled look. She nods her head solemnly.

"Yeah, crazy right? He tried to tell me that he couldnt help it. That it just happened...but fuck that! You dont just wake up one day and decide that your madly in love with someone you just met."

Im not really sure what to say. I want to comfort her, but something tells me she not the type. I dont know what to do.

"_She_ left, Bella. You're lucky." I look up as she repeats these words from before and see that she wiping her eyes. "You know what really sucks? Its not the fact that he just left me like I was nothing. Its not even the fact that I have to be constantly reminded. Its the fact that he never truly gave me closure..."

I know that feeling all too well.

I reach for her hands, not really knowing what else to do or say, and she lets me. For a while we just sit there in comfort of silence, holding hands and thinking.

"Enough of this tender, heartfelt crap," she chuckles sadly, pulling her hand away. "You up for a little hike, or are we leaving the clothes on the cliff?"

"Ugh, theres no way im going back up there today! Sucks, cause I think my wallets in there, but my legs are freakin sore..."

"Nah, its in your backpack as well as your keys and cellphone. Saw you put it in there before we left. But no biggie. I can drop them em later if you want..?"

"Sure, so what's next? Mine or your place?" That brow raises again, teasingly as I fight off my blush. "Not like..._that_! I just...ugh!" She grins victoriously at my redden face and starts the engine.

"Wherever," she concedes, smiling that smile.

*T.I.M*

"Soooo um, thanks for hanging today...I guess." She hands me my backpack and awkwardly stands in front of me, at my door. "And uh...sorry about that whole Sam thing..."

We just spent the remainder of the day at her house, watching movies, annoying Seth and cooking with Sue. All and all it was a nice day.

"Right, dont worry about it. And uh, your gonna drop my clothes off...tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, either me or Jake. I'll more than likely be at work...so Jakes your best bet..." I frown a little at this; I like spending time with Jake. He's safe, he makes me feel...alive, but Leah? She's different. The things I used to flee away from, her bitchiness, her tendency to speak the truth...it all lures me in. Makes me want to know more about her.

"Whats that face for?"

"Nothing!" I quickly recover, stumbling back a few feet, almost falling on my butt trying to get away from this conversation.

"Jesus, you and your two left feet, Swan." She grabs my arm just before my bottom collides with the pavement. She pulls me upright, just a few inches away from each other and stares at me. Like really stares at me, as if she looking beyond the surface.

"What?" It comes out soft, kind of like a whisper and im almost certain she didnt catch it.

"Nothing, _beautiful_ Swan. Just wish you'd let go, stop searching and realize your own worth. Whats right there in front of you..."

My face scrunches at her words. Let go and know my own worth?

She lets go of my arm and turns towards her car.

"You should talk! When are you gonna let go?" I holler just as she opens the drivers door. She stops at my words and regards me with a sad smile.

"Guess we'll both have to work on that, huh? See ya round, Bella..."

Bella? I blink I few times, realizing that this is the first time shes called me by my first name.

I...like it. It sounds nice coming from her.

I knew right then and there that sleep wouldnt come easily, not that it usually does, but her words were gonna replay in my head over and over.

"What's right in front of me..."

What the hell does she mean?

*T.I.M*

School is the exact opposite of my other life outside of these walls.

Awkward and boring.

Jess is talking to me now, but theres still the cold, awkward stares shes passes my way.

And Mike? No matter how many times I tell him its okay, that theres no bad blood between us, he just keeps apologizing for what happened.

Its just a job. Not that big of a deal.

"You guys been hearing about the grizzly sighting going around?"

My eyes flicker away from my food, and settle onto Eric animated face.

"Grizzly's?"

"Yeah, word is some people have been getting attacked. Hikers and stuff..."

Hmm.

"Your dad hasn't mentioned anything?" All eyes are on me at Angelas question.

"No...not that I know of. He's kind of hush hush when it comes to certain matters. Probably thinks I'll go out searching for any trouble I can get into.." Its meant as a joke, but the look Jessica gives tells me that it wasnt that funny.

Again, awkward.

"Hey, we havent really hung out beyond school lately. So I was thinking we should make plans soon. Maybe a movie...the beach?"

We all look at it other questionably before shrugging.

"Sounds good. My schedules pretty full this week. But maybe next?"

"Its whatever." Eric shrugs. "Well talk about some more later.."

The bell rings, signaling for our next class; begrudged, we comply.

My phone buzzes as I rummage through my locker for my books. I smile at the name on the screen; its from Jacob.

_"Hey, Beautiful. We still on for after school? Im itching to find out just how good my mechanical skills are!:D"_

My smile becomes wider at this and I just shake my head since I can picture the grin on his face.

_"Wouldnt miss it for the world:)"_

*T.I.M*

"Question. If I said I wouldnt of been able to fix these bikes...what then?"

I cant help but take notice to how gloomy he sounds. It almost sounds as if he's afraid for my answer.

"Jacob. If your asking if I wouldnt be here under different circumstances...then the answer is no. Yeah, sure... at first I wasnt so sure about this. About trying to," I purse my lips, trying to search for the right words."Heal. Move on, I should say...but I like this. I like spending time with you. When Im with you everything doesnt seem so bad..."

Its not entirely a lie, but still. I had came to him originally because I didnt want to forget. I wanted to see _her_, I still want to see her... chase after someone that isnt even here to begin with, but now...now theres more. Now I not only seek her, but at the same time I seek him. These moments we share, when all the hurt is gone and I can breathe.

He grins at this; one of those big dumb grins that reminds me of Emmet.

Emmet. I wonder how and what he's doing?

"Hey, is that...Embry?" All thoughts of Emmet are thrown out the window when my eyes flash towards the cliff top. The same cliff top we all jumped from not too long ago. I park the car on the side of the rode and stare in confusion at the sight before me.

"What...what happen to him?" It had only been a week or so since I last saw him, but obviously I missed something.

"Same thing that happened to Jared apparently. He hasnt been in school for the past week. First time actually seeing him since then...And now look at him...following Sam around like a lost puppy. So much for hall monitors on roids..."

"I didnt...I didnt see him yesterday though. Sam and Leah got into a bit of a tift. But yeah, he was nowhere to be found..."

"Like I said," he shrugs."First time Ive seen him in about a week. I called a few times but he didnt want to talk. I dont know...but I dont like it."

"Sam still giving you looks?"

"Unfortunately..."

"Just...keep away from them, okay? Promise me you'll stay away?"

"I'll try, Bella...its the best I can offer. But I dont know how much more I can take. Its unnerving.."

I hate when Jacob is unhappy, its make me unhappy. He always so bright and happy, not at all like the Jacob I see before me.

"Come on. Lets get going. Im kind of eager to see my work in action..."

Seems like happy Jake is back.

And here I thought that I was the only one emotionally unstable.

"Alright. Clutch, break, throttle, gearshift..." With each word his strong, warm hands glide over each said item, pointing them out, along with my own.

"Okay, now this is important. Hold down the clutch and dont let go. Im gonna try to kick start it for ya since you seem to be having issues. Dont let go of the clutch..." The bike sways slightly as his foot comes down on the pedal; I keep my feet firmly planted on the ground as it roars to life.

"Whoa," Jacob steady's the bike just before it threatens to collapse. "You still holding the clutch?"

"Yeah," I breath. That anxiety and adrenaline pumping in my veins. My stomach seems to be doing flops right now.

"You okay? You look a bit pale..."

"Im good. Just...nervous." I take a deep breath and watch as he slowly nods his head.

"Okay. Try the throttle...very lightly." He informs. "And dont let go of the clutch." Is his after thought.

Somewhat unsure, I twist the right handle and let out a shallow breath as the bike jerks. I look up at Jacob to see that he's grinning.

"Good. Now remember how to put it in first gear?"

"Yeah," taking a breath, I kicked the gearshift down one notch.

"Nice. Now, very gently, ease up on the clutch."

"-Wait, you want me to let go of the clutch? But-.."

"-Thats how you move, Bella. Just take it slow, okay?"

I move to do as instructed when that sweet, angry voice interrupted my train of thought.

"Bella stop! You're being reckless.." I gasp, removing my hand from the clutch, where her phantom hand was resting against my own; the bike jerked at the unexpected contact, nearly pushing me over the handle bars.

"You okay?" I hear Jacobs voice murmur, but im not really listening.

"You're being idiotic.." The voice continues.

"Bella?" I feel Jacobs hands gently shaking me out of my daze; blinking away my vision, I come face to face with a worried looking Jacob.

"Im fine," I mutter, still slightly dazed.

Im more than fine really. She back, her presense, her voice inside my head. I had already guessed as much, but I've come to the conclusion that this, her presence only seems to want to stay when im in danger or maybe some sort of combination of danger and adrenaline.

The possibilities are endless.

"I wanna try again.."

"You sure..?" Instead of answering I tried kick starting the bike myself; I had to kind of jump in order to slam down hard enough, but Jacob helped. He kept the bike steady.

"Easy on the clutch, Bella..." Jacob reminded as my hand revved the throttle experimentally.

"Bella, please stop.." The voice beggs, and I smiled despite the frown forming on her perfect face. "You want to kill yourself, then? Hmm? What about Charlie? What about m-" I revved the engine again, drowning out all her concerns.

"Ease off slowly." Jacob voice encouraged.

"Dont worry," I say, realizing my words were meant for both her and Jacob.

Ignoring the growls that seem to mimic the bikes engine, I focus and try not to let her voice startle me this time. I relax my hand cautiously a few degrees and then the gear caught and Im flying forward.

I can hear my heart pounding in my ears, but the wind, the wind whipping at my face out masks that. Everythings blurring past me, trees, dirt, even Rosalies worried face.

But its not enough. No, first gear is hardly enough.

"No, Bella!" her voice fumes, distracting me once again. "Watch the road! Pay attention to what you're doing!"

Snapping my head back ahead of me, I take notice to how the road curves, and Jacob never really showed me how im suppose to turn.

"Brakes, hit the breaks!" Is what I assume Jacob is screaming. Slamming my right foot down, much like I would do with my truck, I panic as the bike wobbles. I realize soon that im going to collide with a tree ahead; theres way too much momentum even after slamming the break. Deciding to turn the handle bars in the other direction, my weight shifts, sending the bike towards the dirt.

Things seem to be happening so fast, and its only when I collide with something rather hard, and feel something heavy against my chest that i realize I've finally stopped.

Theres way too many sounds ringing through my ears, buts its her voice thats the loudest.

"Bella!" Confused and more than a little disoriented, I blink at the angry face peering down at me. I reach for her only to come into contact with air.

"Bella!" That other familiar voice calls out, just as I hear the roar of the other bikes engine cut off.

The weight of the bike against my chest is relieved and I sit a bit in order to breathe more easily.

"Easy there," Jacob murmurs, helping me sit up right.

"Wow," is all I can say. Despite everything, im completely...thrilled. That was beyond a rush. And the outcome, the vision, was well worth it.

"Are you okay? Alive?" I chuckle at Jacobs words, only to hiss at the pain in my head.

"Im...fantastic! I wanna go again.."

"No, no more bikes for today..."

"Jake, im fine. Despite the pounding in my head, im fine..really.."

"-You're bleeding." He frowns, eyeing me with worry. "Really bad might I add.."

"Sorry," I mumble, pushing a palm towards my head and sure enough, Im gushing blood.

"You're apologizing for bleeding?" He asks, completely taken aback. He's at his feet in seconds, taking off his shirt and balling it up.

My face blazes at the unexpected act, and I avert my eyes as he crouches in front of me.

"Its just blood, Bella. Id be more worried about that cut." I wince a bit as he gentle dabs my head with the cloth. My eyes focus back on his briefly. "Are you okay?"

Theres a pregnant pause as I just sit there, staring at him, in the eyes, as if its the first time ive seen him. I take in his not so boyish features. How strong and prominent his face looks, how soft and smooth his russet skin is. He definitely doesnt look to be sixteen.

_"Nothing, beautiful swan. Just wish you'd let go, stop searching and know your own worth. What's right in front of you..."_ Leah words hit me like a ton of bricks. Is this, Jacob, the person she was referring to?

"What?" Jacob voice brings me out of my thoughts; he's eying me warily, probably due to the fact that I was staring way too hard.

"You're...sort of beautiful..." Not really thinking about how he may take my words, I just blurt them out.

He blinks a few times, clearly taken aback, and then shakes his head. I take notice to the way his eyes seem to roll, as if he doesnt believe my words. "How hard did you hit your head?"

"Im being serious. You're beautiful. You just dont know how beautiful you are, Jake.." Of course, im not only just talking about physically, but all around, he's just a beautiful person.

"Well, thanks. Sort of." He grins.

You're welcome. Sort of." I mirror his features and he just shakes his head.

"Come on." He ushers us to our feet, steadying me by my waist.

"What about the bikes?" I nod towards the offending metal objects, haphazardly laying across the pavement.

"Wait here. I'll go get the truck."

*T.I.M*

"You think Charlie will buy the whole 'I tripped in the garage and hit my head' excuse?"

"Knowing my luck, im more than sure." I muse as we come to a stop in front of his home. We had spent the remainder of the day in the hospital, sitting and waiting.

Thats one thing I hate about hospitals. You could literally be on your last breath and you'd still have to wait.

"I think we should lay off the bikes for a bit, just in case.." I frown immediately at this. Though im more than sure he's right, I cant help but feel disappointed.

How else am I suppose to see her?

"But not for good right?"

"No, just for a few days. Dont want anymore accidents, ya know?"

"Yeah," I digress, exhaling deeply. Jacob moves to my side and envelopes me in a tight hug.

"Here comes the part of the day I always dislike." He mumbles against my ear, hugging me tighter.

That foreboding feeling starts ebbing at the surface of the hole in my heart. It itches, throbs and threatenes to reopen like it always does when we part. Though I know Id have nightmare tonight, I also know they wouldnt be too bad. That Rosalies words wouldnt cut so deep.

"I'll see you around." He mutters, pulling back and sliding the door open. "Call me when you get in so I know you made it safe. And try not to kill yourself, huh?" He teases, grinning before slamming the door shut.

I drive off, taking his last words into consideration. Would she come if I made a "scene" in my truck this time?

I shake the thoughts from my head, becoming more than a little perturbed by my suicidal thoughts.

"Think Ive done enough damage for today..."

*T.I.M*

"Dammit, Bella!" I growl, coming out of my self induced vision. I slipped up, something Ive been doing alot lately and searched for her.

And you'd think Jacob, being her bestfriend would see how foolish shes being, but apparently not. That much is certain from the last stunt she pulled.

"So damn stupid." I mutter, speaking more so of Jacob than Bella.

I mean really, who the hell condons this type of behavior? Regardless of the fact that shes okay, its still completely dumb and..

"Fucking reckless.." My fist collides with brittle tile of the wall, effectively denting it.

The only thing running through my mind is if I should stay or go?

"Fuck it." It'll take a while, days maybe, but im going back.

_"Damn what Edward and anyone else says."_ Is the last thing that crosses my mind as I begin making preparations.

**A/N: Okay, seems like everybody got what they wanted; Rosalie is finally going to return. Or is she? Lol, I dont know, you tell me.**

**So I wasnt really sure how it would take to get from Washington to Italy, until I Googled it. They have direct flights, which take about 10 hrs, but im just** **gonna ignore those facts for now, because going with facts doesnt quite work out for me in the next few chapter lol.**

**So suck it! My story, my rules lmao.**

**It'll take her a few days, havent decided how many yet so bare with me.**

**Anyway, I thought I should explain the whole hallucination thing. They are hallucinations, its all in Bella's head; however, Rosalie can and does see what's been happening.**

**She blocked the first stunt Bella pulled, but she did see the cliff jump and of course the motor bikes.**

**She cant interact with her though. That part is all Bella.**


	36. Caution, Oncoming Decisions Pt 1

**A/N: Im curious about my readers, so I ask each and everyone of you, what is your favorite chapter so far? I think id have to go with The Weak vs The Strong. Dont know why its my fav so far, but it is.**

**Somebody messaged me and asked the time period, dates and whatnot and I wasnt so sure, so I had to google and find out when most of the stuff(in the up coming chapters) takes place. Ive determined by what I read that most of this is set from January-March, I presume. I dont have specific dates yet, but i'll see what I can do since some of you are into that kind of detailing. Smh, I feel a headache coming on already, lol.**

**Anywho, read, review, enjoy, or dont.**

"Anything to get your shirt off, eh Jake?"

"Shut up, Leah!"

I roll my eyes at Jake and Leahs display of affection but smile nonetheless; Leah seems to be getting good at getting under Jakes skin nowadays.

I told her what happen a few days ago, how my my so called thrill of adventure or rather epic fail on the motor bike landed me with seven stitches.

She found both that and the whole conversation slash moment that took place after profoundly hilarious.

"Did I ever tell you you're sorta beautiful, Jakey wakey...?" I literally smack myself for even mentioning anything to her, shes teased us non stop since then.

If I get any redder, I just might explode and die from embarrassment. Id guess that Jakes face mirrors my own but I cant really see, he already practically jogging ahead of us.

"Nice, Leah..." I shake my head, mirroring her own pace. She waves me off of course, not all effected by my words or Jakes behavior.

"So tell me again, Swan. What exactly are we looking for out here?"

We're currently on a hike of sorts in the woods; woods I assume are a fairly close to the place we once made love.

Yes, she and I made love in Edwards meadow, on occasion. The first time was during summer, in the middle of August I believe, when the humidity in my house was too much to bare and we settled into the meadow; we hadnt intentionally came up there just to do that. We came there just to relax, take in the peaceful serene view and let the light breeze cool us off. Or rather me, since heat or temperature doesnt really play a factor for their kind.

"Um, well its this meadow I found once on a hike..."

"-Meadow?" She snorts obnoxiously. "Never really took for the type to roll around in daisy's and whatnot. Hell, I never took you for a hiker..."

"Im not." I interject, carefully stepping over a decent size rock. " At least not usually anyway."

"Right, and on this 'one time hike' that you just so happen to find this meadow...were you a dare devil before then or after?

"Ya know, sarcasm isnt really all that necessary. If you didnt want to come then all you had to do is say so. You guys asked me what I wanted to do today and I told you.." Im getting irritated and when im irritated I dont really take too much notice to my surroundings; so when my foot gets caught between something, im not to surprised, and apparently neither is Leah.

"Jeeze, you really need to work on multitasking." I give her a meek smile as she helps me off my ass. "I swear you're the clumsiest person Ive ever met..."

"So sorry I cant be all poised like you quilettes.." I quip in my own little sarcastic tone, dismissing her with a wave of my hand.

"Yeah, well you should be. Being a quilette is a great honor...takes alot of character, which you wouldnt know about..."

Oh now shes being smug. I cant see her, but I can practically hear the smile on her face.

"If you say so." Theres a pause, before something ebbs at my brain. "The other day, when you said, 'let go, stop searching and know your own worth. Whats right in front of me', what'd exactly did you mean?"

I dont look at her, but I can tell from the huff she gives that she wasnt planning on discussing the matter.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me what your 'searching' for? Or rather who..."

"Wha-.."

"The day in the shed, before we became friends. You said you werent running, you were searching. What are you searching for? Who are you searching for..?"

Im at a loss of words. I hadnt expected her to hit me with this.

"Im searching for...happiness. I want to be me again, happy. The Bella I was when she," I trail off, unable to finish.

"Rosalie. Thats who your searching for?"

I dont say anything, so she takes that as confirmation.

"She's gone, Bella. And shes not coming back. How long are you gonna let her hold you back?"

"You're one to talk.." I mumble to myself, glancing at her from over my shoulder; she stiffens at my words, clearly effected by them but recovers

"As Ive said before, we're alot alike. Only difference is im trying to let go. You're not. And Jacobs gonna suffer because of it..." She struts past me, not at all bothered by my stunned posture.

"Thats who you were referring to, Jacob?" I inquire, jogging up to her and matching her pace.

"Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?" Her eyebrow raises in my direction and I immediately fluster at how dense I am.

Of course shes talking about Jacob.

"Well?" She persist, that eyebrow raising further but in a teasing manner.

"Nothing! I mean no one...its-where the hell is Jake?" I finally puke out, flustering further and walking ahead. Away from this conversation.

"Right here." He comes strutting out of the thicket, scratching his head and looking rather disgruntled. "Okay, so dont panic...but I think the compass is broke..."

"Or in other words, he has no clue where the hell we are right now.."

"I know where im going, Leah! And even if we were lost, all we'd have to do is back track. Simple as that..."

"Whatever, tampon. And you, Bella," she points accusingly. "Does any of this shit look familiar to you? Cause we've been at it for at least an hour and my freakin dogs are barking..." She sits down on a nearby rock, takes off her boots and begins rubbing her feet.

"Yeah, and howling.." Jake jokes, scrunching up his nose and grinning.

I ignore it the words being spat back and forth and focus on my surroundings; I honestly couldnt tell you where or how far we are. For all I know we could of been passed it.

"Alright, I think its quite clear that we she call it a day." I concede, sighing in defeat.

"Sounds good! Im getting hungry anyways."

"Well then lead the way, back tracker. Since its, how did you say? As simple as that...?"

If it werent for the fact that their pretty much always together and they're cousins, Id gather that they really dont like each other.

"Outta my way, neck breather." Gently he glides past us with a subtle little twitch playing on lips and a determined look.

We role our eyes of course, but entertain him nonetheless.

"You guys been hearing about the grizzly sightings around here?" Leah asks out of nowhere.

"Grizzly's?"

"Yeah, Jake. Where the hell have you been? Some friends at school were talking about it a while back. Campers, hikers going missing and whatnot..."

"Cant say that I have, Bella."

"Charlie, dad, and even myself plan on looking into it. Go hunting I should say..." Leah grins with child like wonder.

"Speaking of friends, a couple of us are talking about going to the movies soon and I was wondering if you guys wanted to go?"

"Oh? Whats playing thats good?"I hear Jacob, but cant really see his face since he's walking ahead.

"Umm, not really sure, but...think they said something about _The Dead Do Tell_..or something like that..."

"Thats like a action/thriller right? Heard it sucked..."

"All the more reason for you guys to come with. My friends are all pretty adamant about going, but me? Not so much, id rather chill with you guys..."

"So tell them no, you're not interested..."

"Yeah, I would do that, Leah. But I kinda already agreed, remember? Besides, Ive got alot of making up to do with them for how I acted within the past few months.."

Theres a pregnant pause as we all just stop and look at one another; we all know just how I acted during those reclusive months.

"Right, well count me in I guess..."

"Leah?" I eye her expectedly and to my dismay she shakes her head.

"Id say yes, but im not too sure since you didnt give a specific date. Ive got work remember..?"

*T.I.M*

Days pass, and despite Jacobs protests, we continued with the bikes. I've relatively gotten the hang of it, which is good and bad. Good because I wont need to explain to Charlie about the many cuts and bruises I had attained, and bad because, well, the voice in my head slowly started to fade away.

Im beginning to loose hope, not to mention my insanity; Jacob and myself went hiking at least three time this week and still got nothing.

Im starting to think that place was just like the voice in my head, an hallucination.

_"Let go, stop searching and know your own worth. Whats right in front of you.."_

Maybe Leahs right? Maybe I should let go. Whats the point in searching for someone, who clearly doesnt want to be found? Im pretty sure she can see me, my future, what i could do next and yet, she isnt here. She hasnt called, hasnt come back, so why search?

"Happy Valentines day..." Blinking, clearly surprised by the gift dangling in front up me, I stare up at Jacob in confusion.

Is it really Valentines day? How the hell did I not notice? Surely my friends,(mainly Jessica) had to have been gushing about it in school today or something?

Im so beyond being out of it, if I didnt even notice today's date.

"Today's...Valentines day?" That grin that was once plastered onto his lips has now formed into a frown.

Great Bella, nice job.

"Crap, Jake, im so sorry. I had no idea...Ive just been-"

"-Out of it?"

"Thats a bit of an understatement apparently." I shake my head, still trying to figure out just how i managed to be so clueless."I feel like an ass..."

"Well, theres only one way to clean up your shit, _ass-hole_," he grins at his not-so-clever joke. "Be my Valentine..."

His words were teasing of course, but I still knew there was something more hidden within them. Theres always something more when dealing with Jake.

"And what, pray tell, would me being your Valentine entail exactly?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary," his shoulder shrug. "Slavery and such..."

I purse my lips at the prospect; being his slave for days on end wasnt really anything out of the ordinary.

"Okay." I grab for the small box of candies, muttering a polite thank you accompanied by a "friendly" hug.

"So, tomorrow...hiking or bikes?"

"Neither," he frowns or maybe scrunches his face up in confusion. "We're going to the movies, remember? I asks a little whiles back..."

"Oh yeah. You um...you still want me to go?"

"Of course I do! I'll have to call Mike later on to inform him of the plans and such, but yeah. You're more than welcome to come. Leah as well, and perhaps maybe Quil?"

"I doubt Leah will come. Shes been kind of out of lately. Really bitchy and moody. Well thats nothing new, being bitchy, but ya know what I mean.."

Tell me about it. I havent seen or talked to her since the last time we hiked, which was maybe a week ago or less. Ive tried calling and texting but she never replies. Im starting to think maybe ive done something wrong?

"Yeah, I hear ya. She hasnt returned any of my calls or texts. She hasnt said anything to you has she, Jake?"

"Not really. I mean I saw her on her way to work earlier. Look right at me and didnt utter a word. she looked...stressed. Look like she hasn't slept in weeks."

"Maybe shes sick?"

" I dont know. I mean, Its not really too out of the ordinary, the being distant and all. Since she tends to get like that from time to time, but never this long."

"Maybe we should go see her?"

"I really wouldnt. The last time she pulled this, like full on, gave me the cold shoulder and everything, was a little whiles back during the whole Sam thing. I went to go check up on her and she totally flipped shit. I know Leah better than anyone, just give her some space."

"Alright, but...im gonna text her later on. Just to make sure shes okay.."

"Okay, I'll try to see whats up with Quil.."

*T.I.M*

"Welp, I guess its just the three of us. Havent heard from Jessica, Tyler, Lauren or Eric. Angela came down with the flu so Bens over there tryna help her get well."

Theres an unusual pregnant pause after my words, where we all just stand there looking at each other.

"Cool," Jake finally says with a shrug, kicking himself off the wall.

"Great." Mike doesnt seem all that enthused but whatever. "Arent you uh, kinda too young to see this movie?" I hear Mike say before heading to the ticket booth to fetch Jacobs ticket. I shoot a quick text to Leah as I stand in line, asking if shes okay.

Im not too sure if she'll reply but im hoping.

The line gradually shuffles ahead and about two minutes later, my phone buzzes with an alert.

"Thank god..."

_"Im fine, Swan. I just...need some space. I dont really feel like myself."_

_"Are you sick? We've been really worried."_

_"No, im not sick. Or at least I dont think so. Im sorry for making you guys worry, but im fine, really. I get like this sometimes, so no worries."_

_"Okay. Well, if you need anything, im here."_

_"Thanks, and you always are, Bella."_ I smile at the use of my name; at first it used to get under my skin when she never called me by my first name. Its was always Swan, but now, I prefer either or.

_"I really wish you could of came tonight."_

_"Oh? Why is that?"_

For some reason I can just picture the smug little smirk on her face.

_"Because, it'd be less awkward. Its only Me, Jake and Mike. Both of which have some sort of feelings towards me and its just...uncomfortable. Not so much with Jake but still. At least with you it wouldnt seem so...weird._

_"Righhhhtttt. Well, I'll have to make it up to you, I guess. But for now, just accept my sincerest apologies:D"_

I roll my eyes at her sarcasm, picturing her playful mannerisms as she says it.

_"Alright, Bella. I gotta get back to slaving but I'll call ya later..."_

"Can I help you?" Startled, I look up to see the put off look on the ticket masters face.

"Oh, um yeah. Two tickets to see _The Dead Do tell."_

*T.I.M*

"Rose, what are you doing?" She knows exactly what im doing, or at least plan on; she saw my decision right after she saw Bella's.

"Exactly what it looks like, Alice. Im leaving. We're all leaving..."

"But we just-.."

"-Edward was right. We never," I shake my head. "I never should have came back..."

"Rose, that was nothing. You know our visions are subjective. They're not for certain..."

"That may be so, but one thing is for certain. She's either moved on without me or shes on the verge of doing so. Of forgetting me..."

She wants to forget.

I should be mad. Mad at what I saw, of Bella and Jacob...kissing. Of her moving on, but I cant be. I left and he, he was there to pick up the pieces.

I hadnt seen too much since coming back, on account of the fact that she stayed on the Reservation most of the time. But on the few times she was alone, (yesterday in particular) at night, away from the Reservation, Id see enough.

I saw how she'd giggle on the phone while talking to Jacob.

I saw how they'd talk about everything and sometimes nothing at all, just breathing.

And then I saw how relatively peaceful she had slept; the occasionally tossing or turning, but not one whimper escaped her mouth.

Im grateful for that, that shes not suffering so much these days, that her nightmares dont have a hold on her.

But Id be lying if I said it didnt hurt.

That seeing her, plug up her camera every morning, flick through countless photos she'd collected over the few weeks and always, _always_ stop at each picture with _her_ in it, didnt hurt.

And by _her_, I mean Leah Clearwater.

My guess is that it had become a habit of sorts; she did it yesterday and the day before.

She'd stare at it for minutes on end with a frown or a sigh, and it killed me. It Killed me knowing that she so clearly missed her, but not me.

I cant be mad at that, but, I can be hurt.

I had originally came back not only because she was being stupid and reckless, but because I wanted to see her. To know that she was safe. I wanted that peace of mind. I wanted to try to fix it, to make it right. But then as I watched her, I realized how selfish I was being.

Shes doing exactly what Edward wanted. What "we" all wanted, being happy. Moving on with her life.

And it wouldnt be right for me to just waltz back in, and more than likely cause her more pain, right?

"You can make a difference, Rose. Just show her-..."

"Whats the point? Shes happy now. She's...forgotten me..."

"Rose..."

"-Edwards already calling a cab for Seattle. We're leaving Washington in the morning..."

"So thats it? You're just gonna give up? Just like that...?"

I already know her angle, but I refuse to indulge her.

"I guess," I shrug nonchalantly. "I get it from you guys after all. This is what you all wanted, isnt it?"

Its a low blow. One that will hurt her dearly; the sadness radiating off of her tells me so. But I'll ignore it, just like the pain deep within my hollow chest.

"Shes happy now, Alice. Shes exactly what everybody wanted, so im going to let her keep that happiness."

I dont know what I expected when I got here yesterday, besides her being alive of course. Which she is...and then some.

"The cab will be here in a half hour," Edward calls from downstairs. All too eager to leave, like myself.

I bet he just cant wait to rub this in my face. To tell me "I told you so."

_"I wouldnt do that, Rosalie..."_

Whatever.

"Im going for a walk before the cab comes. You can stay here til morning, but I expect all of you at the airport before nine. If not..if you refuse, I will personally come back and drag you there myself."

I end my rant by slamming the front door to the Cullen manor, leaving no room for arguments.

I begin my track through the woods, unsure of where my feet will land me, and try to mull over my thoughts.

_"What the fuck was I thinking when I came back?"_

**Flashback**.

The plane touches down in Seattle. And unsurprisingly, who's waiting at the gates for me?

Fucking Edward, thats who! Brooding and all.

I had already seen him making a decision to "attempt" to stop me, but much like i did with the said vision, I'll ignore him.

"Rose, what the hell are you thinking?"

"I could say the same for you. How'd you even know that I was coming back?"

I already know how he knew; Alice told him of course. That or he read her mind.

"That..doesnt matter. What matters is the fact that your putting everything we've accomplished so far at risk.."

"Accomplished? _We_ havent accomplished anything. She's losing her mind! That much is apparent from her little stunt the other day..."

"You knew this would happen, Rose. You knew she'd be broken. Its all apart of healing!"

"Part of healing! I wasnt aware that healing involved thrill riding? She nearly almost killed herself!"

"But she didnt, so..."

"I dont believe you." I shake my head in utter disbelieve. "How...how can you possible tell me that you love Bella, but yet, you act as if you dont even care?"

"Dont ever question my love for her Rose." He hisses threateningly, taking up my personal space. Im not at all worried in the slightest. "Its the only way." He mumbles more to himself. "Its easier. If I act like I care, if I act on my true feelings then it'd end me up right where I am now. In Washington. I need Bella to have a chance, Rose. Thats all I want for her, all I've ever wanted..."

"You're so full of shit, Edward, its pathetic." My lip curls in disgust as I eye him in distaste." Where's, Alice? I know shes here..."

"Shes in the car. We need to go back, Rosalie..."

"No, _you_ need to go to hell. If you wanna go back, then be my guest, but im staying. I cant do this anymore..."

"That wasnt a request, Rose.."

His words cause me to snicker. Surely she doesnt really believe he can stop me?

"Dont...fucking... _test_ me Edward. Im way past being your rival now. You wouldnt stand a chance against me.." I threaten back, glaring, and practically itching to show him my new tricks.

"Hey, guys. Come on." Alice interjects out of nowhere. "We're in public remember?"

"Tell Eddy to back the fuck off then. And what the hell are you doing here anyways?"

"Jasper and I," she pauses, seemingly trying to find the right words. "I didnt like what I was seeing, Bella...suffering. And then I saw her, on the bike..and the nightmares." She shakes her head. "She seems better than..before now but..I dont know. Shes being stubborn and stupid. So Jasper and I made a deal. If things didnt seem better, we'd come back."

"-Nobody's coming back! You all knew she'd suffer for a while but then she'd heal. She'd be happy. Let her be happy!"

"Let me be happy, Edward!" I scream, not caring about the stares we seem to be receiving.

"Everybody calm down!" Alice growls irritably. "Look, lets all make a deal. We stay a few days. Watch her, see how she is and all that mess, and if shes good...then we'll leave. For good."

"Fine," Edward concedes. "But no more than two days."

I dont say anything. Im not agreeing with anything but my own actions and beliefs; guess they take my silence as my confirmation.

**End Flashback.**

Shaking my head, I cant help but laugh at the fact that Eddy always wins in the end.

He got what he wanted, as usual; we've been here in Washington for about two days and one night.

Though we've been hauled up in Seattle for the most part, we've spent the better part of an hour or two here, at home; it wont go without a hassle with Sam.

Unfortunately, we're not allowed to come and go as we please any longer, at least not without making it known to Fido.

It wont be long before he comes snarling his demands and whatnot. Clearly they've been having a field day since our previous departure; the whole area reeks of wolf stench.

"Bunch of flee ridden mongrels"

**A/N: Alright, this is the first half of the chapter. Some facts for all you confused minds out there lol. Including my own smh, I swear my head was about to explode from trying to figure this out and make some sense out of it.**

**So, ive come up with the following logics.**

**We'll say the bike scene from last chapter happened on the 7th, the hike on the 9th or 10th, and we all know valentines day is on the 14th or Feb, for those who dont know lol.**

**Now, on my last author note, I said it probably took a few days for Rose to return to forks, I dont know how many, so sue me!**

**Lol.**

**Okay, okay, we'll just agree that, though it generally would of took her less than a day to get to Washington, a series of unfortunate events(which wont be mentioned cause...I dont know what they are, lmao) at the airport happen, and she doesnt get there for about 3 days.**

**Theres your bloody logic lmao.**

**So, tell me your thoughts. Will she stay or will she go? And whats the deal with Leah? I have noooo clue lol.**


	37. Caution, Oncoming Decisions Pt 2

"No! We killed you!" The mediocre thug panics as he aimlessly shoots at the main character; John Doe.

The plot is simple; Investigator and family man John Doe, gets in over his head while investigating a local drug cartel. Russo, the mob boss uses all his means to silence the man, sending his goons out to do the job.

They accomplish it, in a very gruesome way, but didnt think his vengeful spirit would come back for revenge.

Lame.

We're not even half way through and im already shaking my head at how horrible it is. Its ridiculously predictable and just cheesy. Even the gore scenes suck.

"Please, have mercy! I have a family...I'll do anything!" The goon pleads as John pours gasoline on his battered body.

He cackles at his meaningless pleas, and I find myself doing the same, though not for the same reasons.

"Save your wicked tongue for someone who cares."

"Please!"

"You thought you could silence me," he begins, pulling a drag from the cigarette he apparently got out of nowhere. "Well, guess what?" The dramatic zoom in. "The dead do tell."

Wow.

And with that said he flicks the cigarette, effectively setting him ablaze.

"Die slowly." He mutters, walking off to find his next victim.

This...is...horrible.

My eyes flicker to either side of me, taking note to each of my companions; Jacob seems just as amused as I am, snickering and smacking his lips at how wack this is. Mike on the other hand looks a bit pale in the face.

I ignore how obviously they're being with the hands and decide to check up on Leah.

*T.I.M*

"Hey, Dean!" I call out to my co- worker, working the other table." Ive got half an hour left, but I think im going to call it night."

"Hey, yeah man. Its cool! Its pretty slow so go ahead." I nod my thanks and untie the back of my apron.

"I owe you one," I mouth, walking backwards towards the exit.

"Just gets some rest," he says as he waves me off. "You look like shit."

I laugh at that, and give him another thanks before exiting out the door. Not even a minute later, my phone beeps, signaling a text.

I cant help but smile at the screen.

_"Omg, freakin shoot me! This movie is so damn lame its not even funny!"_

I shake my head, knowing full well just how lame it is; I havent seen it, but I read the reviews and a few of my co-workers have confirmed its wackness.

_"Aww, and I thought for sure that you'd enjoy your quality time with Jackey wakey. He is sorta beautiful ya know."_

I snicker at this, because I know well enough just how red in the face she is.

_"You're an ass (-_-) and hold on, I gotta go check on Mike smh."_ She replies not a moment later.

I cackle, very much out loud and begin walking towards the light, not really paying attention.

_"Lmao, and you still love me so its all good._ And _whats wrong with Newton, besides the fact that he's a tool?"_

As I patiently await for both her reply and the light to change(so I can get to my motorcycle parked across the street.) something horrendous suddenly assaults my nostrils.

It smells like rotting flesh. Rotting flesh that someone tried to mask with some kind of air freshener.

It makes my stomach churn; I arch forward, bracing myself on crosswalk poll and hurl.

That familiar feeling from before starts to reside in the pit of my stomach. Like somebody slowly shredding your insides; I've been getting it off and on for the past few days and its hell.

Between the sweating, the aches in my body and the weird fucking whispers in my head, Im not sure what's worse.

It gets stronger, the smell, and so does the pain.

Staggering, and having no clue as to where im going, my eyes focus on something or rather someone ahead of me.

Suddenly, the pain in my stomach and chest intenfies, but its accompanies by something else.

Anger.

This anger foreshadows everything else im feeling.

"Fucking bitch..."

*T.I.M*

They've been following me for awhile now, following me to wherever place my feet is taking me, cause im not even sure myself.

I dont know what the hell they're waiting for; I already know what they want to say, their thoughts are as loud as their stench.

"Mongrels."

I step from the nearby brush and blink as I take in Port Angeles.

How I've manage to come all this way and not notice is beyond me.

Listlessly I continue to walk, only somewhat taking in my surrounding when that familiar mega-plex sign comes into view.

I check my watch, knowing full well what happens about this time; its eight-thirty.

Suddenly my mouth becomes irregularly dry as I stand here on the sidewalk.

_"You can change it, Rose"_

Thats what Alice said and thats what part of my conscience is telling me.

The selfish part mind you.

It could be... so easy.

"Fucking bitch.."

As soon as the words are spat I whip my head around to see the angry face of Leah Clearwater.

She bounds up to me, seemingly in much discomfort.

Her hair seems knatted to her forehead, on account of that shes sweating profusely. She looks pale and seems as if shes suffering from abdominal pain.

I wrinkle my nose as she comes closer; she looks like shit and smells worse.

Its somewhat like those mutts but not as strong. Then again, it could just be from them; its not just them thats been following me, its their stench too.

"You've got some fucking nerve showing your face around here, Cullen!" The hisses, sizing me up with her puffed out chest.

"Im not a Cullen. Im a Hale. " I reply in a put off tone, only somewhat giving her my attention. I dont really having the energy for this, for an argument.

"I dont give a fuck who you are! What I care about however, is why the fuck you're here?"

"Im not looking for a fight, Leah."

"Oh no, you're just looking for a chance to ruin her some more, right? To fucking re-break her?" She regards me with a look of utter distaste, flaring her nose and giving me a once over with a scowl. "I mean, really. What the fuck is wrong with you? Its not enough that you left her here on the precipice of fucking death, huh? No you just had to come back and push her.."

"Who are you judge me, mutt! Im not here to fucking please you and quite frankly its none of your damn business why im here!

"It is my business, you selfish bitch. You left her, like she was nothing. Like she...didnt...matter," each word is spat with so much distaste, I cant help but flinch. "We picked up the pieces. We helped her breathe when all she wanted to do is suffocate. So you tell its not my business..."

Im about to retort, with what, im not too sure; before I can though, Sam finally decides to make his presence known.

Apparently to both our dismay.

"Leah, I think we should talk."

"You can go fuck yourself, Samuel! I dont answer to you or anyone for that matter. So why dont you and your little lap doggies go pay fetch?"

"Leah," he scowls at the said women as I stand there with a bored expression. "Im only trying to help. Things are-"

"I dont give a shit what things are or what you have to say! Last chance," her eyes become emblazed," both of you fuck off... or things are going to get really ugly."

The smell intensifies as she sizes him up. And Briefly I wonder if I should just continue on with what I was doing and just let them have at it.

"Leah," he tries again, placing a hand on her shoulder which only serves to make her body tremble more. She suddenly whimpers as she doubles over, holding herself. "I can help. Just let me help you, Leah."

"No," she barks, slapping his hand away and stumbling backwards. "You stay...you stay the hell away from me!" Theres a change in body temperature as she stumbles past me; an unusual amount of coldness and sweat radiating off her.

He watches her leave, and no soon after, his little puppies follow suit. His eyes flicker with worry as Leah begins fighting off the two dogs, eventually giving in, before they flash towards my own; he squints at me and I wrinkle my nose. "You know the rules, leech. You're not allowed on our land unless-"

"-Yeah, yeah," I wave him off dismissively. "Not unless my coven leader talks with you first. I got it, mutt."

"Watch yourself, Cullen. You're overstepping your boundaries, you're the outsider. This is our territory now.."

"-You know what? I dont have time for this. We'll be-"

"-R-rose?" I immediately flinch at her perfect voice. I can tell theres several emotions playing within herself and even on her face, just by the sound of it.

Stiffening, my head whips to my left, where an awestruck Bella is standing a few feet away from the theatre, with Jacob swaying a little whiles back. My breath catches as our eyes meet; hers blinking rapidly as if shes trying to understand what shes seeing.

Fuck.

I could run. As soon as she blinks I could run, but I dont think can. Or rather, I dont want to.

Im just tired of running.

Maybe its time to just relent?

Maybe I should just take heed to Alice's words?

I could change things. Just by standing here, I could change the course of everything.

The only question is, if I choose so, would she let me?

Would she embrace it, embrace me after everything I've done?

"R-rose," she slurs again, seemingly disoriented. I can see the rapid rise and fall of her of her chest; shes sweating and hyperventilating.

Im at a lose as she stumbles forward a bit. Should I stay or should I go?

No more thoughts are necessary when her eyes begin to roll back, just as her head lulls. I catch her before she hits the ground, carefully cradling her in my arms.

I let out a breath I didnt know I was holding.

This feeling is...complete. Whole, something people search a whole lifetime for, trying to have it, to attain it, but never truly accomplishing that.

Have you ever misplaced something; something so simple like a book or picture? And you find it after hours of of searching, thinking it will never be found, until it pops up in the least likely place? You know that feeling that accompanies the relief? The feeling of utter joy?

Thats exactly what im feeling right now. I havent felt so many emotions at once in a long time, not since she, this girl, first made her mark in my life; I embrace her tighter, completely forgetting about _Balto_.

"You've over stayed your welcome, leech. Its time-"

"-Im not leaving-"

"-The hell you arent! My territory, my rules. I could rip you apart if I so wish it," he snarls, somewhat heaving. Im not at all worried about his threats, ive got more important things to worry about.

Like her.

"No, im not. And instead of making threats, perhaps maybe you should worry more about Jacob over there, stumbling about like a drunk." My nose wrinkles towards my far left, in the direction of the said boy.

As if he just now notices Jacob's presence, his eyes flicker in the direction I hinted at and he puffs out the air residing in his heaving chest.

His lips purse in concern before he utters an," this isnt over, leech. I'll be back within the hour or so. I suggest you settle whatever matters you have with the girl..."

*T.I.M*

Groaning and twisting my body slightly I slowly open my eyes and im accompanied by darkness. Only this time its not that infinite darkness that took a hold of me before...

"Rose.."

My body flings upward on its on accord as I try to fathom what happened to me.

**Flashback**.

"Tsk, what a wiener," Jacob shakes his head at the retreating form of Mike. I dont know if its from the movie or if he sick, but id have to agree with with him.

"Ya know, you could of stayed. Gotten that nine bucks of top quality cinema action. At least let me believe my money wasnt wasted at all."

"And what," he grins," miss major marshmallow puking his guts out? I think not..."

"You dont even know if thats what he's doing, smart guy."

His only reaction is a raise of his eyebrow, just before ushering me towards the men's bathroom. He opens it slightly and I cringe at the sound of lungs being hacked up.

"Thats gross," I mutter, stepping back and trying to get the sounds out of my head.

"Yup, all the more reason for you to hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Cause really? That movie sucks, and here he is, cringing and the like. Thats so weak.." He rewards me with a somewhat incredulous look thats accompanied by a grin, which I return as I shake my head.

"I feel bad though," I begin, completely waving off his comment; im sure he noticed. "Must be that flu," carefully a very warm hand slips into my own. Its comforting but i'll deny it, deny him," thats going around.."

"What," he begins in a somewhat hurt and irritable tone as I pull away," I cant hold your hand?"

With a sigh, I settle myself on the lower steps leading towards the upper theatre and fidget.

"You can but," another sigh,"I just dont want you to think it'll mean something more than what it really is.."

"And what it is, Bella? What's this," he motions between the two of us as he settles next to me. Theres an overwhelming amount of determination stirring and his eyes, making them swirl intensely.

"Friendship, Jake. Its, we're friends..."

Theres a pause before his eyes bore into mine with something unknown, they then flicker ahead with a click of his tongue.

Its quiet here, in the lobby, so quiet you can still hear the movie playing in the background.

"Friends, huh," he repeats more to himself, seeming put off by the word; without warning, his hands gather my own once again.

"Jacob," I try to protest, pulling away.

"-Bella, just relax." He pulls me closer, gently, and.. I like it. I like his warmth but I hate this; I know what he wants to say, I know what he wants from me and I hate it. I hate that I cant give him that, be what he wants me to be, and I hate how determined he is to ruin this. To ruin everything he worked so hard to try to rebuild.

"I want you to tell me something, _honestly_," I grimace at the word, at how soft his hands are.

"What do you want from me, Jake?" Its comes out bitterly, annoyance clearly evident in my voice; he either doesnt notice or simply doesnt care.

"You like me, right?"

"Yes, Jacob," I sigh irritably.

"Better than that guy," he nods his head towards the bathroom.

"Yes, you already know I do, Jacob."

He nods his head, thinking, trying to form his next thoughts.

"Better than any guys...or girls?"

I scrunch up my face at this. What kind of question is that?

"I dont like _girls_, Jacob. I just liked.." My voice trails off, unable to speak her name and with a sigh, he notices. He always notices how I seem to shut down whenever _shes_ mentioned. "It doesnt even matter anymore. We're friends, Jacob-"

"-And thats it," he murmurs my last thought matter- of- factly. Im not sure how to respond; if I should agree and most likely have him pull away, or if I should disagree and get his hopes all high?

I dont say anything.

"Thats fine, ya know. Im happy with knowing you like me best and think im sort of... _beautiful_," he nudges my shoulders and I cant help but smile. "I am still prepared and fully intend on being annoyingly persistent, though."

"And somehow, I dont put it past you," I chuckle before becoming more serious. " Im..im never going to change, Jacob. Im broken, damaged goods. Nobody would want that..."

"I would," his face seems thoughtful and eyes eyes very intense. "And I do. You're not damaged, Bella. You just had you're heart broken.."

"Jacob, please..." Slowly that familiar ache around the shell, that was my heart, begins to fester.

"-Its fine. You dont ever have to talk about it. But just know that you dont deserve this. What they did to you. What she did to you. You deserve more," his hand squeezes my own," you deserve happiness. I can be that, if you let go, and let me in."

And he could. Im more than sure Jacob could make me happy, if I let him.

"I would never let you down, Bella. I wont ever disappoint you, I promise.."

"Im not some car you can just fix up and expect to just run right," I sniffle, willing the tears away that are threatening to spill.

"No, you're not a car. You're Bella. Shy, awkward, clumsy, Bella. The same Bella ive been waiting for since the mud pies and the same Bella I'll continue to wait for. Im never going to give up..."

"Good," I sniffle once more," I dont want you too." He beams at this, one of those mega watt movie star smiles that makes you giddy inside, and I cant help but smile, albeit shyly, before turning away.

"Ive got all the time in the world," a warm palm rest against my cheek, coaxing my gaze to meet his own.

It makes me nervous, the way he's staring at me and slowly leaning forward. Heart beating through my ears, I hold my breath.

I should let go. I should...embrace this.

"-Welp, I've got to go home," Mike interrupts, growing paler and paler by each second.

I watch as something flickers in Jacobs eyes; he blinks a few times, in a way that says he clearly irritated, and then settles his gaze on Mike.

The said boy begins to fidget under Jacobs unrelenting glare; shifted his gaze between mine and his, as if im suppose to know the solution.

"What? What's your deal man!"

"My deal, _man_, is you," Jacobs up and on his feet in seconds, trembling in sizing him up."Feeling sick? Then maybe you should of stayed home," he manages through clenched teeth.

"I figured it would of passed by now, so back off!" Mike pushes against him, which doesnt serve to help the situation.

"Obviously you figured wrong. But i'll make it easier for you. I'll send you to the doctor myself!"

"Whoa, Jake, calm down," I grasp for the taunt fist trembling and more than likely itching to meet Mikes face head on. "Jake, you're hot. Like really hot. Are you okay?" I move my hand to his forehead and hiss at how our temperatures differ. "Jacob, you're burning up..."

"I dont know what's happening," he sways a bit and then lets out a painful yelp, hunching over.

"Jacob!"

"I have to..to," he stumbles before bracing himself against the wall, slowly retreating. I follow suit.

"Okay, just relax. You stay here while I get the car.."

"No, I just...i'll just walk. I need some air.."

"Jacob, I dont-"

"-I said im fine!" He growls, eyes glinting with something fierce, predatorial. It startles me and he backpedals, softening his features for a minute, only to have them contort in pain yet again.

This time he doesnt give me a chance to comfort him, to make sure he's okay, he just clumsily runs out the door.

I run after him of course; peering to my left and then my right, finding him and yet, also having the wind knocked out of me.

I literally have to tell myself to breathe, to think, to do anything besides stand on the side walk, swaying like a drunk and more than likely looking like an idiot.

Standing across the street, very much looking intimidating, yet still so fiercely beautiful, even from behind, is a ghost from my past. The same ghost I've literally been trying to kill myself over, just to get her to see me, to come back.

And here she is.

I open my mouth to say something, anything, but my mouth goes dry.

"_This cant be happening. Its...its a trick. A hallucination as always."_

I blink and rub my eyes to make this point clear, only, she doesnt disappear, like I assume she would.

No, she turns around, as if she senses my presence, or as if someone uttered her name.

And then I realize it was me. I had called out to her.

_"Breathe, Bella. Just...brea-" _And as I will myself to do this, my legs begin to buckle; the world around me seems to shatter, seems to turn into darkness.

**End Flashback**

My hand immediately settles on my head, trying to fully gain my barrings and figure out where I am.

The soft fabric between my fingers lets me know that im laying on a bed. If its my bed, im not so sure.

"You're home," a voice, a very velvety like voice murmurs," you're safe."

It has a southern drawl to it, which only means one thing.

"J-Jasper?"

My eyes focus on the figure perched near the window, leaning out somewhat, as the moons rays illuminate his features; the pained yet beautiful features standing out so radiantly.

It makes my stomach hurt. Ive almost forgotten how breathtakingly beautiful they are.

"Yes, its me, Bella. You're safe now.."

Safe?

Isnt that the same reason why they left, to make sure im safe?

I scoff.

Ignoring his words, as well as his presence, I make my way towards my door, stumbling slightly.

"Dont," I hiss out before he even thinks of helping. I turn my head and sure enough, he's standing to his feet.

"Maybe you should...," he stops midsentence as I throw him a look.

Just who he is to tell me what I should and shouldnt do?

The look says my exact thoughts. He shuts up, forming his lips into a thin line as the pained look intensifies. He opts for staring out the window when my gaze doesnt relent.

Sighing softly, I straighten myself before walking out the door, headed straight towards the stairs.

I hear voices, three or four from what I can tell and their all sinfully familiar. Slowly and as quietly as possible, I descend the stairs, stopping just at the bottom, and perking my ears, focusing on the conversation taking place in the kitchen.

"You see, this is why I said we should of left the same day we got here. I knew this was going to happen. What the hell were you thinking!"

"I hadnt actually planned on seeing her, it just...my feet landed me there.."

"Oh, right, yeah. 'Your feet just landed you there'," comes Edwards mocking tone. "Thats bullshit, Rosalie and know you it. God, is it so hard for you to think? To use your brain for once? What hell did you think was going to happen when you decided to take a casual stroll down the street-"

"-Fuck you, Edward! This, the whole reason why we all left in the first place is all your fault. You did this, you selfishly forced this upon everybody, so dont you dare sit there and try to act all righteous!"

"It was for the best!"

"Fuck whats best! Ive lost out on months because of you. Jeopardized the most important thing in my life, because you have some weird self righteous complex. But not anymore, Ive tolerated this for far too long. Its time I start, 'using my head' as you put it..."

Unconciously, my heart starts pounding both in my chest and ears at her word.

"_The most important thing.."_

"And what about Sam, huh?..."

Sam? Whats does Sam have to do with anything?

"This is their territory. You really think he's-"

I furrow my brows at the unusually pregnant pause.

"_Their territory? And really think he's what? What the hell was he going to say?"_

"Bellaaaa," Alice's sing song voice interrupts my thoughts. That pounding in my ears gets louder at the realization of being caught. "Its okay. You can come out, sweetie."

I blush, hating the fact that I missed her voice. Missed how kind and caring she always was.

Seemed anyway, because if you really cared for someone, you would never leave them. And that thought immediate washes away whatever blush that was marring my face.

Inhaling deeply, I make my way towards the kitchen and release the breath I hadnt realized I was still holding. Aside from the slight purple tinge under their eyes,(Rosalie's standing out more prominately) they all still look the same. Breathtakingly beautiful.

And I hate it. I hate how perfect they are. I hate how much my body has suffered since thier abscence, while theirs is still the same. Cold, pale, and perfect.

"Bella," my eyes flicker to the ballerina like girl, who's cautiously walking towards me; theres a cautious, almost meek smile playing on her lips, almost similar to the ones she gave right before she impaled me in her arms.

Almost.

That smile she would give was radiant. It made me smile inreturn, made me want to seek her, but not this. This smile makes me angry. Surely she doesnt honestly expect me to coming running in her arms after what she did? Cause its definitely not happening.

No matter how much I really want to.

The look I give is similiar to the one I aimed at Jasper. It sets her straight, makes her flee away, makes her understand what she did to me. And im grateful.

Almost forgetting Rosalie's presence, my body starts to respond to the heaviness in the air. Its thick with something, anger I suppose? Whether its my anger, im not sure, but its accompanied by another feeling.

Calmness.

My eyes silently seek out hers, and god, if I dont just want to fall into her. To have her catch me and tell me its alright. Its foolish, I know.

"We'll just uh...give you two a moment," my eyes never stray away from Rosalie's as Alice ushers Edward and herself out the kitchen.

The air shift then; its stagnant with unspoken tension and yearning.

I just want to fall apart.

"Bella, I-"

"-Ive spent months," I begin, cutting her off," thinking, dreaming about this moment. Wondering and trying to figure out what I would say to you if you ever came back. And yet, here you are, in all your glory, right before my eyes and the only thing I can think to say is why?"

Furrowing her brows, she opens her mouth and I await for something, anything to be said, but nothing comes.

I huff indignantly; after months of nothing being said, no call, no letter, you'd think she'd have something to say right?

"Why Rosalie," I continue after silence becomes too much. " After all this time, after literally trying to kill myself, do you come back? Why not then, when it mattered, when I needed you the most?"

That seems to trigger something. The nothingness that was previously marring her face just contorted into something fierce. What is it? Anger? Determination? Im not sure, all I know is that it excites me. It shouldnt, but it does.

"I needed," she frowns a bit, seeming somewhat disgruntled," I needed to know. To make sure you were safe. I saw you...you promised me, Bella. You said nothing reckless.."

I promised? I did no such thing, she promised me!

"No, Rose, I didnt. You promised me. You said," I shaking my head as the anger begins to flare," so many times you said, you promised that I was yours. That I was everything. That...that I was your forever! You lied, you left me-"

"-Because," that fight, that own little flame inside her seems to be flaring up as well," I thought," a shake of her head, right before her fingers glide through her tresses. "No, _they_ thought it was for the best. They thought you needed a chance. A chance at a real life, a normal life, but I didnt. Apart of me wanted to believe that they were right, that...that what they wanted me to do was for the best, but I couldnt fully fathom it. I didnt want to comprehend it, to try to understand, because doing so meant losing you.."

"And yet you did."

"-I thought I was doing the right thing!"

"-And you thought wrong. You left me, Rose. You lo-"

"-You kissed him," she says out of nowhere. Im not sure who or what shes referring to, neither am I sure of where it came from.

"What are you talking about," my face shrunches in confusing and she regards me with an unknown look.

"Jacob, you kissed him." Its not at all a question, not even a statement, its more like an accusation.

"I didnt kiss anybody," I hiss matter-of-factly, noting the way she seems to flinch.

"You wanted to," her eyes stray away from my own at this new accusation and I cant help but feel like Ive just been slapped in the face. Who does she think she is?

"What I do and what I want is no longer your concern. You dont care, you left, like it was nothing. Like I was nothing. You dont get to-" I gasp, unable to finish my rant because suddenly, she pressed up against me with her full, cold, tantilizing lips caressing my own.

Im stuck, blinking and knowing full well that I should push her away, but I dont. I cant, I cant even think. It feels so good, having her here, so close, so desperately searching, prodding, as if she needs me. As if i'll disappear if she lets go. It feels so good, so right, but yet so wrong. And it hurts. Having her this close hurts.

Gathering whatever strength I have left, I push away from her, gasping and gaping at her incredulously.

Why? How-what gives her the right?

Before I can stop myself, my right hand flings out in hopes of connecting with her face; she catches it of course, eying me, pleading me with her dull eyes to understand.

I cant help but scoff.

"I wanted you to be happy," she whispers, eyes softening, almost becoming glazed like, as if she just may cry. "I wanted you to be safe, alive..."

"-I am alive," I whisper back, gaze to the floor. "And im...im happy," they blink a few times before meeting her gaze head on," Im happy and im alive. Im alive, Rose! I survived, I can...I can live without you! Me standing here is proof of that," I bellow out, not really sure if I mean it, if im trying to convince her or myself.

I dont mean it, im sure. I could never fully live without her, but she doesnt know that. I just want her to know what she did to me. I just want to hurt her like she did me, like they all did.

"Can you really," she murmurs in a voice that doesnt seem to be her own. The hand grasping my wrist softens, loosens until its dangling limply by my side. Her hand now rest against my heated skin, coaxing the tears, that now seem to be freely falling, away." Can you truly live without me, Bella? Cause... I cant. I dont think I could live without you. Ive tried, but I cant..."

"You left," I say agian, "you had a choice-"

"-I did-"

"-You could of stayed, and yet you didnt. You had a choice and you left.."

"-That...I did. I had and I made a choice, a very hard choice, between you and my family. And it was a foolish choice. A mistake. Choosing them, my family, my lineage, the reason for my existance, over you..." Each word hits me like a ton of bricks. I should be mad, part of me knows and wants to be, but for once I understand. She chose her family over me, and it hurts, still does, but I get it. Asking someone to choose between the two is a bit selfish.

If I were in her shoes, could I have done the same thing? Im not sure. But then again, that brings about a new revelation. If they are her family, the ones she loves and chose, then what am I? She chose her family, and obviously I dont fit in that catagory, so what was I? What am I? Where does that leave me?

"-I get it," I mumble, cutting off my thoughts; she eyes me with curiousity. "You chose your family over me. Its simple. I get it, I understand. I never realized how selfish it was of me to make you choose between us. You chose and as much as I want to be mad, I cant.."

"-It was a foolish choice, Bella. One that I wish I could take back. But I couldnt forsake them, my father, my mother, no matter how much they hurt me, I couldnt leave them," she pleads, eyes brimming with unshed tears," they didnt even give me a chance. They all took his side, they all agreed with him and it hurt. They hurt me so bad, Bella. But I couldnt, I couldnt forsake them. Or at least.. I thought..."

I nod my head, unsure of what else to do or say.

"I didnt want to hurt anymore. They forced this on me and I hate them for it. I hate them for making me suffer, for making you suffer. I had to come back, I wanted," she shakes her head," no, I want to make it right. But im afraid. And you are.. happy now, are you not?"

"I..I am," she frowns at this," and yet, I am not." She regards me with hopeful eyes, ones I should deny, but I cannot find it within myself to do so."They are your family, Rosalie. Something...I am obviously not," I voice my thoughts from before, watching as several emotions play across her face.

"-Bella.."

"-Im not sure what I was, am to you, Rose. And I think thats what hurt the most.

"-Bella, you're everything. You're everything their not, everything I wish I was. You're just...everything. The most important thing.."

_"The most important thing..."_

"But in the woods. You said-"

"-Lies, Bella," she shakes her head," I lied. And you believed me so easily. You should of known better. You should know me by know. Know and recognize the truth over the lies..."

"But..it just doesnt makes sense. Im human..nothing-"

"-No, Bella," that determination is back," You're everything." She repeats, gathering my hands in her own and pecking the backs softly. "Everything..."

And to both of our surprise, I do something I hadnt intend on doing, I blush.

And I hate it. I should be mad at her, scowling, not blushing!

"You cant,"I begin, fighting off my blush, and not really knowing what to say,"you cant just leave me, and then come back, expecting everything to be the same. To fall back in place.."

She fixes my gaze, which was previously preoccupied with the clock to my right, so that it now meets her own.

"I know. And I dont expect anything. I dont even expect you to forgive me. Im hoping in time that you will, but I dont expect it. And perhaps, maybe im hoping, just a little, that theres still something here," her hand flattens against my chest, where my heart is currently beating like a drum. "For me..."

" I need...I need time, Rose.." My gaze shies away again, and I plead with my heart, begging it to stop thrumming so hard.

"Of course," I hear her say," In time. Always in time.."

She stiffens suddenly, eyes focused on something behind me, but as I turn to see what has her attention, im met with nothing. Theres nothing there.

"Whats wrong," I ask, genuinely concerned by the look on her face. Her brows are furrowed and it looks as if she wants to snarl.

"Nothing," she finally says, giving me her full attention; im not buying it. "Its just a complication. Another reason why I hadnt come back, sooner anyway. It just wasnt really an option.."

"What do mean?"

"I cant really explain, at least not right now. I gotta...I gotta go.."

"W-what?"

She just got here and shes already talking about leaving me yet again?

"You're leaving me..._again_?" Theres a look on her face right now. A solemn look maybe? A look of guilt? Im not sure.

"This is no longer our territory, Bella. I cant just come and go as I please-"

"-What the hell does that even mean?"

"Its not," she sighs," its not my place to say. I'll come back though, okay? After I talk to Carlisle, I'll come back. If you so wish it...?"

If I so wish it? Do I want her to come back?

Of course I do!

"How long will you be gone?" I say, neither confirming nor denying my want for her to stay.

She notices of course. She knows damn well that I want her to come back, the smile playing on her lips tells me so.

"I dont know. A few days, a week maybe?"

"Thats too long..."

"I'll try to make it short then," she chuckles before becoming more serious. "I'll make it up to you, Bella. Whatever it takes, I'll make it up to you. But for now, I really must go.." The hand that was caressing my face is now gone, leaving nothing but warmth.

I already miss her coldness.

"-I really hate to break up your little reunion, but uh...Sam's not really being a good sport.." Alice says out of nowhere, making me that much more confused.

What does Sam have to do with anything?

I look towards Rose for answers and the only thing I get is a nod of the head, aimed at Alice.

What the hells going on?

Not even a moment later, Sam comes barging in looking rather irritated.

"Times up, Le-," he stops midsentence as he notices my presence and the only thing I can do is furrow my brows in confusion. "You've over stayed your welcome..."

"-They're more than welcome to stay here for as long as they want," I find myself saying; just who the hell is he anyway?

"This has nothing to do with you, Swan. I'll handle it.."

"-What, like you handled Jarod and Embry," I snarl," and wheres Jacob?"

"Jacobs...being taken care of. Theres nothing for you to worry about.."

"The hell there isnt," my anger begins to flare again at all these secrets. He knows, they all know something that their not telling me. A cool hand gently grasp my forearm and I look towards Rosalie questionably, only to have her shake her head.

"We're leaving Sam. No need to get your panties in a bunch. Alice, Jasper, Edward..." One by one they all make their way past us, wrinkling their noses at Sam and head straight towards the back door.

I watch, along with Sam as they all make their way out the door. Rosalie stops however;eying me with a look of reassurance, one that tells me that she'll keep her promise. She'll come back.

Exhaling deeply, I nod my head in understanding. She leaves hesitantly, to my dismay, and I turn my head in hopes of furthering my inquires about Jacob only Sam isnt here.

He's gone.

"What the hell?"

**A/N: So there ya go. Rosalie is back, well not fully but ya know what I mean. I had originally planned on following the the original plot, not having her come back til the end, but you guys begged and I delivered. Like I said, I aim to please. Now since I caved in to your desires, I have to figure out how the rest of this will play out. The whole Laurant scene, etc, but I have a fair idea so no worries.**

**A few answers to questions im pretty sure i'll be asked.**

**How come Rosalie was able to see a vision of Bella and Jacob kissing, if Jacob's "illness" set in? Its simple, at the time of the vision, Jacobs "illness" hadnt set in yet. He was still plan ol Jacob.**

**Any other questions? Suggestions for the next chapters?**


	38. Differences

"Hey, Jake. Its me again. Just wanted to hear your voice, make sure you're okay...no pressure. Just..call me back whenever you get this.."

I click the end button and withhold a sigh. Its been days, maybe even a week and still nothing. Not a peep from Jacob or Rosalie, and its unsettling. More so with Jacob because I dont know if he's okay or not.

"Dont fret too much, Bells," Charlie says, slightly giving me his attention; im afraid his full attention is on the flat screen. "Billy says theres been a slight outbreak of Mano or something.."

"Mano," well that explains alot, I suppose.

"Yeah. Leah and Jacob seem have caught the worst of it.."

"I should go see them. Make sure they're okay. Maybe bring them some soup or something?"

"Im sure they'd appreciate that, Bells. But dont you go getting yourself sick. Thats the last thing we need..."

"Dont worry, dad. I'll be careful," I say reassuringly. "You want anymore pasta while im in the kitchen," I ask while pushing myself up to stand.

"No thank you, Bells. But a beer would be nice, if you dont mind?"

"Say no more," I smile and gather his plate before retreating towards the kitchen.

The fridge swings open and just as im about to grab for a beer, my phone vibrates. I grab for both the beer and my phone and then furrow my brows at the unknown number.

Usually I dont answer unknown calls but somethings telling me to answer this one.

"Hello," I answer tentatively, almost hyperventilating when Rosalie's voice echo's in my ear. Im really gonna have to work at that.

"Bella-," she begins again, but i cut her off.

"-You havent called me or...or texted me or..or anything!" I all but yell.

"I...know. You said you needed time and...I just wanted to give you some space.."

"Yes, im aware of what I said, Rosalie. However, I think me being alone for three months was space enough. I wouldnt have minded if you'd called..."

"Im sorry," she pauses. "If its any consolation, I wanted to call you, talk to you every minute that ive been gone..."

"Where are you," I say after a moment, not really knowing what else to say.

"Um...at the moment. Im in...Yakutsk."

"Yakutsk?"

"Yes, its in Siberia. Carlisle recently took on some charity work . Helping those who cant afford help. You know how he can be..."

"Yes, im afraid I do know," I smile and shake my head. Carlisle really is a kind man. "How long will you be there?"

"Im not...really sure. Apparently he has a few patients to tend to in the next couple of days. So there's no telling. A few more days at the most?"

"-You said that the last time, Rose. That you'd only be be gone for a few days.

"And I have been. Its only been what, a week at the most, Bella? Im trying my best but we cant just get up leave.."

"-Why not? You didnt have a problem with doing it before." I snarl and as soon as I say this, I mentally slap myself; I honestly hadnt meant to say it or have it come out so viciously.

"Im..so sorry, Rose," I begin to protest as she exhales audible.

"No, its fine. I deserve it and so much more..."

"-No. That was totally uncalled for-"

"-Hey, Bells. You okay in there," Charlie voice interrupts, slightly startling me. I look at the beer can in my hand and instantly remember why I came in the kitchen in the first place.

"Yeah, sorry. I got a bit distracted," I mumble, handing Charlie his beer.

"Oh? Well I hope your not too distracted. Dont want you getting into any accidents while going to see Jake. Or are you talking to him now?"

I debate my options here. I could lie to him, but honestly, I dont see the point.

"Um no. Actually...im talking to Rosalie.."

And on cue, the beer that was previously making its way onto his tongue, comes sputtering out like a faucet.

"Wait," he begins, sitting up and holding up one of his hands. "What?"

"I said im on the phone with Rosalie.."

"Oh no. I heard what you said, Bells. Let me rephrase that. Why, why are you talking to Rosalie?"

"Because...she..she called," is the only explanation I can give.

"Because she...called," he drawls out slowly, as if he's testing it on his tongue; hestitantly I nod my head.

"So let me get this straight. Rosalie up and leaves you. Out of nowhere and _in_ the middle of nowhere. Leaves you a complete mess for I dont know how long. Comes back apparently, and you're just going to accept it...just like that?"

"Dad, its not like that-"

"-What the hell are you thinking, Bella? She's not good for you. That much is evident from the months I spent consoling you in your sleep.."

"I know that, dad! We're not together...we're just.." Im not sure what we are really, or what I want us to be for that matter.

"You're just what, hmm?"

"Dad, can we please not do this? I really cant handle this right now. All I want to do is go see Jake, okay?"

"Yeah, you go see, Jake. Maybe he can talk some sense into you..."

I withold a sigh at that, shaking my head and willing the anger thats threatening to erupt, to reside.

"Welp, I definitely saw that one coming," Rosalie mumbles into the phone as I make my way back into the kitchen. I pull out two cans of Campbell's and pour its content into a a small pot.

"I didnt however, see you making the decision to go see, Jacob."

"Well, I have. Its that a problem?"

"Yes. It sorta is, Bella. I dont think its such a good idea for you to go down there. You'll find that things arent...really the same as they were before..."

"Yes, they arent the same. Im glad that you understand that. Im also glad that you understand that we're not together, Rosalie. So you dont get the luxury of telling me what to do..."

"Bella," she inhales deeply. "I get that I really messed up. And I get that you're right; we're not together. But this isnt about us, Bella. Its about keeping you safe. Its not...safe for you to go down there..."

"Rosalie, im really not in the mood for this, okay? He's my bestfriend. And the Reservation is one of the safest places I know. Nothings going to happen to me.."

"You dont know that. You dont know what could happen.."

"Neither do you.." I retort, stirring the soup before turning off the stove.

"Bella, im begging you. Just please...at least consider what im saying to you.."

"I have considered it, Rose. And Ive already made my decision. He and Leah are my bestfriends and they need me. Im going, Rose. With or without you're approval.."

Theres a muffled growl followed by an uncomfortable silence, which lets me know she quite angry, though she wont voice.

Which im grateful for; I really dont feel like arguing.

"Im guessing its safe to assume he doesnt like me much. Though i doubt he really liked me to begin with..." She finally says after the silence begins to consume us.

" Who?"

"Charlie. I can hear him. He's mumbling to himself.."

I croon my neck in the direction of the living room and sure enough, Charlie seems to be having a one-sided conversation.

"Charlie's just...being protective. Being a dad. He wont forgive you so easily.."

"Neither will you apparantly. And Im being protective. But you dont seem to see it that way.."

" No, I wont forgive you so easily. you have to earn that, Rose. And correction, you're being jealous. Admit it, you've never liked Jacob or Leah for that matter.."

"-Okay. I dont like Jacob and I dont like Leah. But im not being jealous, Bella. I just want you to be safe.."

"I am safe with them. What makes you think I wouldnt be? That they'd let something happen?"

"Well, aside from the little dare devil stunts they allowed you to pull. Its really not my place to say.."

"But its you're place to tell me what i shouldnt and should do?"

A deep sigh, followed by shuffling.

"No slack whatsoever, huh?"

"Nope. None at all.."

"I wish I could tell you, Bella. Make you understand," she lets out a frustrated sigh. " I wish you knew what I knew. It would be so much easier.."

"Then tell me."

"I cant. Its an answer I cannot give.."

"Ive been hearing that alot lately. Its really frustrating.."

"I know the feeling. But look. I dont really know how this all plays out...just promise me you'll be careful."

" I promise. I'll be fine, Rose. You'll see..."

"And as much as I would love to believe that that is indeed the case. I simply cannot. I cant do much from over here. But please. Please call me as soon as possible..."

"I...will. I really have to go Rosalie..."

Theres a hum at the other end in response, followed by the dial tone.

*T.I.M*

I hate to admit it but Rosalie is right; things are different.

He's different.

That much is apparent from the moment I stepped foot of the Rez. I spot Jacob as soon as I park in front of his house; he's making his way towards the back, half naked, and very much different.

I call for him as I step out of my truck, in the pouring rain mind you, and he blatantly ignores me. It not until now, this very moment, when im standing right in front of him, that I truly realize how different things, he, has become.

"I thought you were sick? I thought you couldnt answer the phone? Charlie said you had Mano, but here you are, standing outside half naked in the rain?"

"-Go away," is his cold reply, face completely masked of any type of emotion; I blanch at his now retreating form.

"Hold on," I say, catching his lower arm and almost flinching at how hot it is. "What happened, Jake?"

"I said...go away..."

"-No. Not until you talk to me. Not until you tell me whats wrong."

He says nothing, but gives me this cold stare.

"I mean, your walking around in the rain with no shirt. You cut your hair...and now...now you got a tattoo..?"

He sets his jaw but still says nothing.

"What happened to you, Jacob," I persist," did Sam get to you?"

That seems to set him off; his whole demeanor changes.

"Dont blame Sam," his nostrils flare as he begins to size me up. "Sam's trying to help me. But if you want somebody to blame, how bout those filthy bloodsuckers you love so much? The Cullens...?"

How did he..?

"I...I," I swallow hard," I dont know what you're talking about.."

"-Oh bullshit, Bella. You know _exactly_ what im talking about. You've been lying to everyone. Charlie, Renee, everyone. But not me," he shakes his head,"not anymore. Me standing here...what I've become is proof of that.."

"Jacob, please," I beg as moves to turn away," I-"

"You what, Bella? Hmm? There's nothing more to say..."

Theres a whistle from behind, towards the thicket, followed by a call. I watch in distain as Sam makes his presence known. Jacob immediately tenses as Sam calls out to him again.

"They're brainwashing you, Jacob! Look at you.."

"Look at you!" He suddenly heaves, a look of pure malice marring is features. There's a flash of blond behind him; there's a look of worry before her voice floats into my head.

"Careful, Bella. Don't push him.."

"Rose..," I hadn't meant to say it out loud, but as soon as it slips, so does Jacob apparently.

"And I'm brainwashed," he scoffs," are you really in that much denial or do you just think that I'm stupid! They've got their hooks in you so deep, it's not even pathetic," he spits out in disgust.

Why is he trying to hurt me? As if he reads my mind, his face softens.

"It doesn't even matter anymore, Bella. I'm done here. We...cant be friends anymore.."

My eyes widen at his words; he can't just leave. He promised me!

"Jacob, wait! You...you said..you promised you wouldnt do that, what they did. You wouldn't hurt me, disappoint me.." There's a steady flow of wetness trailing down my face and I'm not sure if its just from the rain or if I'm crying.

"I know, Bella. And this is me keeping my promise."

"Jacob, please...don't. You're my best friend. I need you.."

"Im no good for you, Bella. It's the only way.."

You sound just like her.

"That's an order, Jacob," Sam bellows and again, Jacob tenses.

"Get out of here, Bella. And don't come back, or you're gonna get hurt." He turns around then, walking straight through Rosalie; hurt, I watch them both fade away.

*T.I.M*

"Quill," I shout, waving my hand frantically. He looks up through his soaked hoody and regards me with a look of relief.

"Thank god. It's freezing out there," he mumbles with a shiver as he settles into the passenger seat.

"Where are you headed, especially in this weather?"

"Port Angeles, the library. Not really one to check for the upcoming forecast," he says meekly.

"I see. Well I don't mind dropping you off if you want, but how are you going to get home?"

"I'm supposed to meet up with Leah and-"

"-Leah?" I cut him off, surprise evident in my voice. "I thought she was sick? Then again, I thought the same about Jake and he's-"

"Changed...different?" Theres a look on his face, a very solemn look. "Yeah, seems to be a lot of that going around. Changes, weird things," he pauses. "You ever hear about those 'unexplained' disappearances, hikers gone missing?" I nod my head. "Wild animals," he scoffs, shaking his head. "That's just the tip of the iceberg. There's something..._things_ out there that arent meant to be seen, known..."

"Did...did something happen? Is it Sam?"

He swallows hard with a look of distress; the car slows to a stop at a red light and I watch as he bites he's lip.

"You can tell me Quill. If something's wrong or bothering you, you can tell me. Does it...have to do with Sam?"

"It's not...Sam necessarily. It's just...something happened. Something Leah doesn't want me to talk about.."

"Quill, I can't try to help of you don't tell me. I won't say anything, I promise.

He nods weakly.

"I don't know, two, three days ago...I was out with Leah. We went on hike," another shake of his head. "She was so adamant about this. About finding this...this place. She said it was important to you..."

She went looking for the meadow?

"I don't even think she really knew what we were looking for. But she just kept saying we're almost there. We were walking for what seemed like hours. And, I don't know...something seemed off, and not just about her. It felt like we we're being followed, watched. Leah thought I was being paranoid..."

"Thought, huh?"

"Yeah, but I knew better. We decided to take a rest and...and well, I don't know what happened exactly but It all happened so fast. One minute we're talking and then in the next, my feet are dangling off the ground and I'm staring into red eyes.."

Red eyes?

I gasp then, mind immediately going towards the only source, the only possible explanation. A vampire and not the good kind.

"His skin was like ice. And Leah...she was trying to fight him off, but he was strong. Inhumanly so. She stabbed him with a pocket knife and it shattered. It shattered against his skin, Bella. His skin! How is that even possible?"

Its not possible, not humanly possible. And that's because he's not human.

"He threw her, like a ragdoll against a tree and it snapped like a twig. I thought I was done for, that we were done for but... I don't know. It all seems like a blur but something collided with him, the demon. I remember being thrown back by the force. I tried to focus but it was happening so fast. I think I hit my head and I was bleeding-"

"-The demon...did he smell it?"

"Y-yeah...he was attacking someone, a women? I don't know. But he said my blood was putrid, tainted. It was weird..."

"What happened to the women?"

He gives me a strange look, one I can't really dicipher.

"Something else was there with us. Something huge...and black. It look like a bear but bigger. I don't know what the hell it was. All I know is that the demon ran off and the girl. She...she was talking to the...the bear and trying to help Leah. Leah was unconscious. The women, she said something about her coven leader, a meeting, and that we would of been dead if she hadn't intervened. She knew the demon, that's for sure. Said his name was Lauren-"

"-Laurent?"

"-Y-yeah. I'm not sure how or why you know him, but he knew you as well. he was looking for you, Bella."

My foot settles on the break and its then that I finally take notice to my surroundings; Port Angeles. I don't dwell too much on that though, no, I dwell on the feeling in the pit of my stomach. The anxiety, paranoia.

"Stay away from that place, Bella. The woods...don't ever go in there," He warns, climbing out of the truck. "And never mention this to anyone," Is his afterthought. "Leah's going to kill me if she finds out I told you..."

"Quill, wait!"

He back peddles towards the truck and gives me a questioning look.

"The women...what did she look like? Did she have...red hair?"

"Hmm, no. She was blonde actually. Looked...kind of familiar now that I think of it. Why?"

"No reason."

*T.I.M*

"Aye Clearwater," comes deans voice, followed by a knock at the door. "If you're not too busy dropping the kids off, a little help out here would be nice."

"Fuck off," I mumble more to myself, flushing the toilet and wiping the excess vomit from my chin. I stand to my feet and lean against the sink. "Mano my ass," I scoff, admiring myself in the mirror. I look like shit and feel worse. Why the hell I continue to do this to myself is beyond me.

"Either work or be stalked by Sam and his drones." I splash water on my face and peer at myself again. "I choose the former, thank you."

"Former what," startled, I jump at the somewhat familiar voice.

"Jesus, Swan. What the fuck! You stalking me now too?"

"You're avoiding me," is cool nonchalant reply. She regards me with an unknown look as she takes purchase against the wall, blocking the exit.

"How did you even get in here?"

"Its a public restroom," she smirks," Not that hard to just walk down a few isles and make a right."

Smart ass.

"And Dean pointed me into the right direction."

"Of course he did," I retort dryly. "What do you want?"

"What...what do I want," she reiterates, as if the words are foreign to her. "Well for starters, how bout you tell me why you and Jacob for that matter, have been avoiding me?"

"-Jacobs a tool...just like Sam," I spit out in disgust.

"Is that an excuse?"

"No. It's a fact. He's a lost little lap dog to Sam now. Taking orders, following him around like a robot..."

"And you, what's your deal? Apparently the 'Mano' hasn't effected you too badly if your at work. So why, why haven't you been answering any of my calls?

"Ha, Mano...I wish. And I wasn't aware that I was obligated to you," I reply coldly, shrugging my shoulders.

"-What," she starts in a whisper," what have done...what did I do that was so bad that has you and Jake hating me?" She shouts, pleadingly. My stomach drops at her words; it seems as if she just may cry. I hate this.

"I don't...hate you, Bella. And you haven't done anything-"

"So why don't you want to be with me-be my friend?"

"I'm not friend material right now. I'm not a good...person."

"You are good person, Leah," she insists, reaching out for me. I welcome it, her touch. Her hands feel soft against my own. "You're doing the same thing Jacob did, pushing me away but for what?"

"I'm not Bella," I shy away from her touch, avoiding her eyes. "Somethings happening. Somethings wrong with me. Im angry all the time, there's voices screaming in my head, I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't...want to hurt you..."

"You won't. Just let me help you...tell me what to do?"

"Leave, Bella. Forget about me. If you really want to help, forget about Jake, both of us and just leave...there's nothing here for you. You can't help me.." I say with little emotion, creeping towards the door. I need to get out of here.

"No," she hisses forcibly, pushing forward, trying to block the exit. " I won't leave and I won't forget. Jacob already pushed me away but I refuse to let you do the same..."

"-Why?" I shout, my anger starting to rise, getting the better of me. "Why are you so adamant about this! Why do you even care? You got what you wanted. What you've been so desperately searching for. You're precious Cullen is back, so why keep doing this? Pretending like me or Jake actually mattered?" I'm hurting her but its a must. I just want her to leave, I need her to leave.

"You...you do matter, Leah." She recovers, regarding me with a look, as if shes been slapped in the face. "You both matter dearly to me. You're my friends-"

"-No we're not, Bella. We were convenient. Something you use to fill the void. But you don't need us, me anymore...and I don't need you."

"Leah, please. You're all I have left. I want...no, I need this to work. I really need a friend right now.

"-So go cry to Jacob. Cause I don't care about what you want or what you need. I don't care about you."

"You're lying," is her almost instant reply. I raise challenging brow in response." If you didn't care, if you don't care at all then why'd you go out there that day with quill? Why'd you go looking?"

My mouth opens to say something but nothong comes out.

"You care about me, just as much as Jacob. You're just afraid for reasons I dont understand. So you push me Away. You're always running!" She spits my words right back at me and I tense, backpeddle. "And im the weak one?" She tisks, shaking her head; her words hit home and before i can stop myself, ive got her pinned to the wall by her shoulders. She winces, at both the result of her back hitting the wall and the feeling of my hands over her shoulders.

"What the fuck do you know, Bella," I snarl viciously, tightning my grip, "What the fuck do you want from me...?"

"I need you," she whispers, in nothing but kindness, despite the tension in the air. Visibly my face screws up and i slightly step back, confused. "You are so fuckin' selfish, Bella," I find myself whispering, chest no longer heaving. "All you think about is yourself..."

"I know," she says so softly, I almost didn't catch it. "I need to know, Leah," she continues," I need to know what's happening..."

I don't know what's happening.

"-I need to know why you and why Jake are running, pushing me away..."

It's better this way, that's why.

"-I need to know what happened that day in the woods...with you and Quill.."

"Get out of here, Bella," I manage through clenched teeth; I feel that anger coming back. "There's nothing here for you.."

"-But..!"

"-Get the fuck out of here," with each word, my fist connects with the wall beside her face. I feel the tiles crack under my force and briefly I register the fact that there is no pain, but I don't dwell on it too long. "You wanna know what happened in the woods? Go ask your pretty fuckin' princess, Rosalie. She was there, talking to that...that thing!"

_"L-Leah."_

Fuck, those voices are echoing in my head!

Only half aware of my actions, I stagger backwards as the harsh feeling in both my stomach and head intensifies.

"L-Leah," I hear someone say, whether it was Swan or the voices in my head, I'm not too sure. I feel her at my side, just as the pain gets to be too much to bare and I begin wretching in a nearby trash can. "Its okay, Leah. I'm here.." I feel her hand glide soothingly against my back. "Leah, you're really burning up," she comments with worry," you need to see a doctor-"

"-Get out of here, Bella," I hiss half-heartedly for the third time. Instantly I feel her tense by my side, those soothing hands slowing their pace at my back.

"Leah," she begins to protest, but I cut her off. Taking a deep breath, I will my body to do what I say. Using the wall, I turn so that Im facing her and stare her straight in the eyes. There's no more anger, just pure kindness and hope, hope that she understands how badly I'm pleading, begging her to leave.

"Go, Bella," I damn near choke out. "Please leave..." She blinks a few times with a few emotions playing across her face, and she hesitates for a moment but then nods. Wordlessly I watch as her hands begins to wring at her sides before she turns and walks towards the exit; each step is like a weight lifted off my chest.

I can breathe now that shes not so close, I can breathe so much more deeply.

She pauses briefly at the door, and gives me a sad look over her shoulder before the door opens and closes.

"And don't ever come back," I add as an afterthought, slightly sobbing.

*T.I.M*

"So," Rosalie begins through the phone as I kick off my shoes and climb into bed. "How was your day at the Rez?" I without both a sigh and an eye roll; she knows exactly how my day was. Exhausting, confusing, and completely chaotic.

"You know exactly how my day was, Rosalie. You always know.." I say in annoyance. That's all I've been feeling since I got home, annoyed. Poor Charlie didn't even get an Hello; I just walked right in, feet dragging, and gave him the ugliest look when he asked how my day was. At least he knows when to back off. Can't say the same for Rosalie though.

"Actually, I don't know. I never really know what's happening when you're around those," she pauses, seemingly thinking of the right word to say. "Around Jacob," she finally says after clearing her throat.

"Strange," I comment, not too interested. "Wonder why that is..."

"As do I," she mutters and this time I can't help but roll my eyes. I really am all too annoyed with her. But not even just her, the whole situation. Jake, Leah, the answers they all refuse to give, everything!

"So, I ran into Quill and Leah, today." I say offhandedly, picking at my nails. I get the desired reaction I was looking for as she inhales rather deeply.

"Oh yeah," she says, trying to mask her previous reaction. I'm not at all convinced.

"Yeah. Had a pretty interesting conversation. Something about a hike in the woods, ya know, nothing out of the ordinary," I wave off. "Oh wait, there was something a little strange about the mention of red eyed demons and talking, giant bears," comes my sarcastic tone. "Now, if I was any normal teenager I could wave all that off, ya know...just blame drugs or think maybe they just hit their head a little to hard on something. But as luck would have it, I'm not ordinary. I like to spend my free time, chasing after voices and illusions in my head. Not to mention, I like to hang with Vampires..."

"-Bella.."

"-Where are you, Rosalie, really? Cause honestly, I'm starting not to believe anything that comes out of your mouth..."

"...I'm," she sighs," a couple states over..."

"Why'd you lie to me, Rose?"

"Because. If I told you where I was, you would of came looking. Now am I wrong?"

"That's...beside the point.."

"Is it? Then what's the point, Bella?"

"The point is, if you we're here, if you had stayed in the first place, I wouldn't need to come looking, now would I?"

"-Bella, I've told you plenty of times, I'm sorry. Things are extremely complicated right now and if I could, I'd give you all the answer you want. But I can't.."

"...Thats not good enough, Rose..."

"-What do you want me to say, Bella?"

What do I want her to say?

"I want the truth! I want to know why you're not here. Why Quill claims he saw you talking to a damn bear and I'd ask why Laurent is out and about, but its pretty damn clear that he wants to kill me. Not that you don't already know.."

"Yes, I am aware, okay? I've been trying to handle that, but things are getting in the way."

"-Oh, Yeah? And what _things_ are those exactly, the giant bear?" I can't help but shake my head at how ridiculous it sounds, but then again, who knows the hell else is out there if vampires exist.

"...I was coming to talk to Sam, about...some things," she begins in an exasperated tone after the silence becomes too much. "Things I can't mention for certain reasons..."

Of course.

"I caught Laurents scent, along with Leah and Quills. That's it. Thats all. Are you happy now?"

No.

"And the bear? And what does Sam have to do with any of this?"

"-Bella, you know-"

"-You can't tell me, yes I know."

"I'm just trying to protect you," she says for like the a millionth time.

"Yeah, by lying to me and god knows what else. But ya know what? It doesn't even matter anymore. If you, Leah, or Jake wont give me answers, then maybe ill go find them myself..."

That seems to get her attention.

"Bella, no! Don't do th-"

"-Goodnight, Rose."

**A/N: Still not too sure how I'm gonna go about the rest, but ill figure something out. Really don't get why y'all like this so much but whateves, thanks for the reviews, and just like sex, im hoping for some more. And then crying afterwards cause it was so good, I came too fast lol smh j/k**


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